Lexi-chan presents:
Untitled,
April 22, 2005:
A/N: So, this started out as (get this) a comedy. Err, it didn't stay that way, to put it lightly. Yah, I hope you like it. It's kinda long, but it was my first long fic, and it was A BIG BITCH to write. This one's dedicated to Lyndsay, 'cause she put forth so much effort into reading this, and she doesn't even like anime/Inuyasha. So, thanks Lynds, you rock. BTW, not 'cause it's a big deal of anything, but just 'cause you should know, this story was revamped on April 22. I couldn't tell you when it was first written.
The sun burned Kagome's eyes. The rain that had just been pouring moments ago had stopped and now it was quieter than if someone had just pushed the mute button on her world. It had been cloudy, and wet, but now, the sun shined a bright, unnatural orange. Purple clouds now littered the sky, and a huge rainbow arced overhead. The green of the new summer leaves, was shimmering with new, fresh water.
Life.
That was the best way to describe the scene.
Perhaps it was a sign of what was to be.
Sadness overwhelmed her soul at that very moment. She felt more alone than ever in her life. They looked so happy, but at the same moment, her life was shattering.
Looking upon the scene, Kagome had to say, she wasn't really surprised, more saddened. The word why flitted across her mind only once. She knew why.
Kikyou.
Inuyasha.
It didn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that he had long ago made his choice.
Her incarnation.
Her love.
Neither one of them knew that she saw the scene. She doubted whether they would care. The way Inuyasha held Kikyou told her that she would never be in the place that her incarnation was now. It's not like she cared. Inuyasha was just a boy. A boy. A boy. A boy. Just a boy.
No, never just a boy. Soft rain started to fall. At first, just a drizzle, then it started to pour. Thank Kami it drowned out the silence. Silence was torture. Kagome didn't need to cry with the rain. This was past tears. This was pure pain. She didn't know why her heart felt like it was breaking. She didn't know why her heart hurt so much. She only knew that it seemed as though her life was over. Now that Inuyasha had Kikyou, she could gather the shards. He should be with Kikyou, anyway. Why not? If they loved each other. . . . Kagome didn't fit into this equation.
She turned around without thinking, and ran. Thorns scratched her face and arms. She tripped on a rock, but didn't notice. Where was she going? What did she want with that place. Was it so important to her? Did she hate what she had seen so very much? If he was happy, then so was she, but still, she was sad. But still, she could not cry.
The vision of Kikyou and Inuyasha wouldn't leave her alone. All other thoughts in her mind ebbed away into nothingness.
No, she thought. No more. Suddenly, lightning cracked, and a branch was thrown into her haphazard path. A snake youkai threw itself in front of her, attempting to make itself a meal. It gashed through her belly. She didn't have time to feel the venom, though, because the force of the youkai's attack had sent her flying into a boulder. Her head hit the rock, sending a jar through her spine and into her brain.
She slipped into blissful darkness.
Inuyasha looked up from the kiss. He could have sworn that he had heard someone scream. It sounded almost like Kagome's voice, but it had sounded so sad, like she had screamed in anguish, rather than pain.
"Inuyasha, my love," Kikyou sweetly asked. She didn't have Inuyasha sense of hearing. "What's wrong?" Her voice was soothing and soft. He did love her. He did want to die with her.
"Huh? Ah, nothing love. I was just. . . thinking." Inuyasha sighed softly.. Then Kikyou sighed.
"Go after her," she said, Inuyasha looking puzzled. "Hurry," she said, agitated. "She may need your help."
Inuyasha nodded, and started towards the scream.
Please be okay, Kagome. . . . Did I do something wrong?
After he left, Kikyou was left under the tree. She was alone, but she knew Inuyasha would come back to her. Inuyasha was going to her. She hope the girl was okay.
It's almost as if it makes a difference. Will I cry if the girl dies?
Nobody wants to be alone, and Kikyou and Inuyasha were no exception. When Kikyou had been alive, she had asked Inuyasha to become human. She had to love a human, but now her body wasn't limited by such petty reasons. She wasn't attached to the Jewel and she wasn't attached to human rules. She could love who she chose, and Inuyasha chose to be with her.
She had always like him better as a hanyou.
Kagome groaned in conscious pain. It seemed like she had been dead for days. It was dark now. Kagome was aware of what was going on around her, but only slightly. She seemed to be hearing her name being called over, and over, but whoever was calling her, didn't seem to see her. She lied on the cold hard ground. Blood pouring from wounds on her head and the gash in her stomach stained the brown ground crimson. She had lost blood.
A lot of blood.
She was dizzy from losing so much. Kagome finally wrenched open her eyes. She was lying in a small clearing, next to a large boulder, apparently what she had hit her head on. Mud, twigs, and blood made for an unpleasantly warm bed.
But where was the youkai that had attacked her? Surely it wouldn't just desert such an easy meal?
Her question was answered when she noticed the curled up corpse of a burnt snake youkai. She had apparently purified it when she had been unconcious. Her soul must have subconsciously put up a lethal barrier. She groaned, then coughed, an acrid taste in her mouth. She wiped her mouth. Blood.
The same must not have been said for the snakes poison.
Well I don't think that's a good sign. She coughed again, then spit out more blood. She turned around on her side, then pushed herself up with her hands. All of a sudden she was overcome with nausea, and vomited. She coughed again, then fell onto her stomach. That was one hell of a hit she must have taken. She felt like she had a horrible fever, too. She looked up at the night sky. There was only a thin crescent moon and stars from what she could see. It must have been around 11:00 judging my the moon's setting.
Kagome was so exhausted. The poison was circulating through her veins, now that she had her heart beating. She blinked slowly.
No! She couldn't fall asleep! If she did, she might never wake up. So tired . . . She began to close her eyes. She couldn't go to sleep. She was just going to close her eyes, nothing more. Her heart was still beating.
The rain had stopped. Inuyasha had been out here, searching for Kagome for nearly three hours. The rain had completely masked he scent. She could be on the mainland for all he knew. He didn't like that feeling. The first place he had went had been the place where he and the rest of the group had been camping. He had asked Miroku where she was, then Sango told him that Kagome had followed him. She had been worried for his safety, and now her's was questionable.
That was bad.
Sango looked up from tending the fire. "Houshii-sama, where do you think Inuyasha was? Why didn't he know where Kagome was?"
"Judging by the look he had on his face when we told him, I am almost certain he was with Kikyou," Miroku sighed.
"So then Kagome would have seen the two together?" Sango asked, agitated.
"Yes, and that would explain why she hasn't come back."
"But she's been gone for three hours. Don't you think she would have come back by now? Maybe she went home to her era?"
"It's possible that she has been attacked."
Sango jumped up. "Then we have to go find her!"
Miroku pulled at her kimono sleeve. "Calm yourself, Sango. We must not interfere with her and Inuyasha, and we don't want to worry Shippou. Best leave matters as they are."
"But if she's hurt-"
"Then there is nothing we can do. Besides, Kagome is a strong girl. She had her arrows."
"Miroku, I can't believe how lightly you're taking this!"
"I know it sounds bad now," he said, softly, "but believe me, Inuyasha will find her, and when he does, you will understand my position. I can't just let them mess up their friendship, even if their relationship is gone, now. You have to realize, Sango, even if Inuyasha has made his choice between the two, Kagome and Inuyasha must stay friends. For the groups sake. For Inuyasha's sake."
Inuyasha jumped out of the well, and was immediately choked by the smells of her era. He looked up at Kagome's house. Her little brother's light was on in his room. He jumped up on the roof and tapped on the window. The nine-year-old jumped.
"Inuyasha, what are you doing here?"
"Listen, kid, Have you seen Kagome?
"No," Souta replied.
"Damn," Inuyasha whispered.
"Isn't she with you?" Souta asked quietly, to match Inuyasha's tone. Inuyasha half-laughed; a perfect match for his twisted-smile.
"Me? Why would she be with me? She hates me."
"Hates you?" But before Souta could ask, Inuyasha turned around.
"See ya, kid."
The first thing Inuyasha noticed when he reached his time, was the choking smell of drying blood. It must have been there for a while, but the rain had masked it's smell. There was a lot of it, and it had to be Kagome's. But, what had happened to make her loose so much? A huge would could have done that. It was possible that she was already . . . .
She was unconcious. Kagome was alive. How could she have gotten hurt so badly? Inuyasha noticed the youkai corpse by her body, and understood what must have happened. He shook her by the shoulders gently, mindful of the would on her head, until she opened her eyes.
"Oww," she moaned.
"Kagome, what happened?"
Kagome looked at Inuyasha like he was dead. "I was attacked. I'm surprised to see you here at all, though. I would have thought that you would have been with Kikyou." Her words stung him, but said nothing.
"Are you able to stand?"
"No." She didn't offer any other information.
"Do you think you have a concussion?"
"Yeah, but it can't be too bad, seeing as how I can still remember the last few hours." One again her words hit him like a boulder on fire. He acted as though he either did not notice, or did not care. In reality, he felt both.
"Here, I'm going to take you back to camp, okay?"
She said nothing, so he assumed it was okay. He bent down, and she grabbed hold of the back of his kimono. He lifted her, and started to leave, but she gagged from behind him.
"Let me down, I'm going to be sick!" He got down to the ground as fast as he could, and Kagome fell onto her stomach trying to get down from his back, immediately throwing up. She coughed. Inuyasha caught a glimpse of red in her hand.
"Blood," he whispered, stunned. Kagome wiped her hand on her skirt.
"It's none of your business, Inuyasha." She said, poisonously. She stood up carefully, ignoring both the wave of nausea, and her throbbing knee, which was also wounded. "I can walk." Inuyasha stared helplessly as she walked two steps, then collapsed. He picked her up, and saw that she had fainted.
This was all his fault.
"This is all your fault! Inuyasha! How could you let Kagome get hurt?" Shippou was yelling at Inuyasha. He, Inuyasha, and Miroku were standing outside Kaede's hut. The girls were inside.
"Shippou, stop chastising Inuyasha. He has rights." Inuyasha was surprised that Miroku would stand up for him. He had guessed that he would be as angry as the kitsune was, but then again, he was the pervert. When Inuyasha caught sight of Miroku's eyes, he realized that he most certainly was not amused. Shippou looked at him with tears in his eyes.
"But because of him, Kagome's sick, and she might not get better. Waah! How could you, Inuyasha!"
"Yeah," Sango said as she walked outside to get some fresh water. "How could you, Inuyasha?"
Inuyasha growled, despite his guilt ."Look, doesn't a guy have a right to be with someone?"
Sango shot Inuyasha a disgusted look. "No." Inuyasha sighed, as she spoke again. "Inuyasha, why do you think Kagome followed you into the woods yesterday?"
"How the hell should I know?"
"Hmm," Sango said in a wry voice. "Maybe because . . . she loves you, and was worried about your safety?" Inuyasha looked down. He had known that. Suddenly he heard Kaede's old voice.
"Inuyasha, I think that you should see this." He turned around, then went into the hut, glad for a distraction.
"What is it, Kaede-baba?" Kagome was laying on a futon, next to the firepit. She was sweating badly, and she had a wet, white piece of cloth on her forehead. Sango came back into the room with a bucket of cold water, giving Inuyasha a deadly cold stare that made the spring water seem like pleasantly warm bath water.
"Here, Kaede-obaachan." Sango said sharply. She turned and left the room. Kaede dipped the cloth back into the water, silently. She wrung out the cloth, then pressed it to Kagome's head. She flinched, but stayed asleep. Kaede still said nothing.
"What did you need me for?" He asked again, more urgently. Kaede sighed.
"'Tis bad, Inuyasha. Kagome has poison, youki in her bowels. In the past day, it has started to eat through her stomach. If she had come a day earlier . . . but now. . . ."
"Spit it out! What is happening to her?"
"She's dying, Inuyasha." Inuyasha stared at her blankly.
"What?"
"Kagome is dying. There is nothing we can do." Inuyasha searched her face for anything, a sign that she was lying. That she was just getting back at him, for trysting with Kikyou. Her face was as sober as his.
"You mean there's nothing we can do?" He was shaking in either fear or anger. He sighed, then sat down. "How-how long . . . how long does she ha-have?"
"Five days, a month at most."
"A month? She'll only live a month?"
"At most."
"I don't believe it! You're just trying to get back at me for going to see Kikyou! I didn't do anything wrong!"
"Don't be stupid, Inuyasha."
"Don't be stupid? First you tell me she's dying, then you tell me not to be stupid! WELL SCREW THIS!" Inuyasha stormed out of the hut, and into the forest.
I did. I didn't know. . . how could I've known? I never would have set eyes on Kikyou again if I had known it would kill . . . What have I done? What have I done? What . . .have. . .I . . .done? Inuyasha punched the soft ground, hard enough to shake the birds out of a nearby tree. I won't let her just. . . but what can I do?
"She . . . hates me." Oh, yes. She had proved that she had no more respect for Inuyasha, that was for sure. She did hate him this time. . . and he couldn't blame her.
"What have I done?"
Kagome opened her eyes and gasped.
Oh Kami, why am I in this much pain? She flinched then groaned. Her entire body felt like it was on fire. She tried to move her head just a bit, but her head was flooded with so much pain she was afraid that it might burst and her brains would be clinging to the walls for Kaede to clean, and the people of the village would burn her headless corpse and pray to her every year for a good harvest.
Here lies Kagome, dead miko reincarnate: Pray to her, but be careful, her spirit may break a really important bead.
The pain in her head was worse than when the kuro miko cursed her. It really hurt. Well, it wasn't like she had intended to be attacked. She hadn't intended to see Inuyasha and Kikyou swapping spit like there was no tomorrow.
Then a horrible thought passed through her head: Were they even intending on seeing tomorrow? Or were they just going to kick it without the Shikon no Tama?
She heard someone's voice from outside, but the voice all was mixed up, like who ever was speaking had forgotten Japanese. She couldn't hear properly, either. It felt like she had a two-ton pillow resting on her head. She closed her eyes for a second, then concentrated on the voice. It was soft and reassuring, a male. It was Miroku. He was saying something, but she wasn't sure . . . Kagome sighed . . . death. He had said something about death. She strained to hear some more, trying to ignore her splitting head. Her heart sunk to her knees. He had said her name, she was pretty sure. She had guessed when she saw the blood in her hand, but. . . but. . . She really hadn't wanted to die. That was stupid. Was she going to die? Or was it possible that she had heard wrong?
Against her will, a cough escaped her throat. It wasn't enough to bring blood, but everyone outside heard her.
"Kagome-chan! You're awake!" Sango ran over and sat at her side, placing her cool hand on Kagome's hot forehead.
"Kaede . . .drink . .?" Kagome coughed again. Her mouth was so dry she couldn't speak.
"Here, Kagome-chan." Sango dipped a ladle into the water bucket, and offered it to her. After a few drinks she coughed again. Kagome felt a little stronger now, and tried to lift herself a bit. Sango made a move like he was going to stop her, but Miroku stopped Sango. Kagome lifted her self enough to sit up, but as soon as she did she almost got sick again.
She noticed that her clothes had been changed into the miko uniform, reinforcing the thought of her nightmare, and for the first time, she wondered how long she had been unconcious. She was dizzy and exhausted already. She leaned up against the wall, and relaxed a bit.
"Are you okay, Kagome-sama?"
"Yeah," she coughed again. "I'm fine or I'm alive at least." Kaede, Sango, and Miroku exchanged glances. She looked at them sadly. "I'm going to aren't I? I'm going to die?" She started to cry. Their expressions told it all. Told her everything, why Inuyasha wasn't there. Why they had been talking in hushed voices. "I don't want to die. Not yet." She looked up at them. "I'm only fifteen! I'm. . . only . . . fifteen!" Miroku sighed. Sango looked like she was going to cry, too.
"Inuyasha left about an hour ago . . ." Kagome looked like someone had just slapped her.
"I don't . . " She whispered, surprised that Sango would even mention his name. "If you looking for someone to care, go find Kikyou!" Sango looked shocked but Miroku and Kaede weren't fazed in the least. All of Kagome's anger caused more strain that it should of. Her eyes grew large, then she collapsed landing on Sango's lap. She coughed hard, and blood ran down her mouth. Her eyes swam with tears as she wiped her chin not even bothering to look.
"Kagome-sama, go back to sleep." Miroku looked at her, sympathetically. "Come, Sango, we should leave. Sango hesitated, but then she hugged Kagome and left the hut fast. Kaede followed. Miroku bent down and wrapped his arms around her, and for the first time, she didn't believe he regarded her as a woman who could bear his child, but he thought of her as a child. She felt like his kid sister, who just got in trouble for the same thing he had been in trouble for years ago. She tried to give him an encouraging smile, but his hair was hiding his eyes.
"Kagome-sama, I do know how you feel. I know how it feels to be running out of time. I know what it's like to be angry at everyone, because they will live, and you will not." He lifted his head, then smiled at her. "Have a good nap, Kagome-sama. I will be here when you wake if you would like to talk." He left the room. As he walked out the door, he could hear her start to cry again. He sat outside the hut until her sobs diminished. She had cried herself to sleep.
A thin ray of moonlight fell on the futon, next to Kagome's head. Inuyasha kept his eyes focused on her face to distract him from the pull in the back of his mind. No one knew he was here. He was supposed to see Kikyou again, tonight. He couldn't control himself, and he hated himself for it. He couldn't imagine life without Kagome. When she died, his soul would die with her. He hated himself for this, too. For his weakness. His father had had the same weakness; love for humans.
Why did he have to ruin it? Why did he have to ruin her?
It was his fathers fault, Inuyasha decided. If Inuyasha had never been born, Kikyou wouldn't have died. Kagome wouldn't be laying here, so obviously in pain. Could he really die with Kikyou when Kagome was in so much pain?
When he thought about it, Kagome and Kikyou really were very much alike. He loved both of them enough to feel a twinge of sadness when he first found out Kikyou had died, and a lot of sadness when Naraku threw her off the cliff. He had felt sadness for Sango, Miroku, and Kagome, and now he felt pain for Kagome.
Would he really have been better off if he had never died?
Sango looked around the desolate camp and sighed. Three days had passed since Inuyasha had brought Kagome back to Kaede's hut, looking more sober than a dead man. Kagome had went down to the spring to take a bath, and Miroku had went off into the village. She didn't think Miroku would spy on Kagome because Shippou was with him. Kaede was off somewhere, probably picking herbs for Kagome's pain, and Inuyasha hadn't come back since yesterday. She was all alone.
One of the things that made her feel horrible, was that when Kagome had left for the spring, she had made this quiet comment about smelling "like death". Kagome hadn't wanted anyone to hear that, but Sango had anyway.
She looked down at her Hiraikotsu to distract herself from the emptiness. It had dents, and wasn't as clean as it could be. Bits of flaking auburn sin, told her that it was time for a cleaning. Oh, that reminded her of something, like an old folk song.
It time to clean me of my sins, God, it's Judgement Day.
Where had she heard it? It couldn't have been native to Japan, because, it had a reference to Christianity. As she though about it more, more words came to her.
Oh, it can't have been too awful long since I heard those angels singin'. I'm coming back to you Lord, just give me a helpin' hand.
Come to think about it, she had never heard a song like that. Then, where had she gotten the words?
Miroku smiled a chaste smile, as he gave the young girl her fortune.
"You," he said, "will bear only one child, to the headman of a nearby village." The woman looked abashed, but smiled all the same.
"Oh, but houshii-sama, that's not the fortune I was expecting!" The girl laughed. "Thank you very much, houshii-sama." The girl left, leaving a long line of women behind her. A long line of women who would be expecting him to ask them to bear his child. Miroku sighed. When he had proposed to Sango, he had made a promise to himself, not to two-time her. And with the added 'Kagome' factor, he didn't much feel like being here. But, none-the-less, he had to keep the travel funds up, although, soon, only he, Sango, and Shippou would need it. Miroku had the strange feeling that as soon as Kagome left, Inuyasha would waste no time in going to Hell with Kikyou.
Ah, this water is perfect for my aching knee. Kagome winced at the swollen sight. It was the knee she had fallen on. She laid back in the water, and decided to relax, of course it was hard to relax when you were going to die. Kaede had told her that when she had been unconscious in the rain, that she had youki in her body, poisoning her. Now, it had spread to her stomach and lungs. It was eating her body from the inside out.
Gross.
And to add to that lovely thought, Inuyasha had dumped her for Kikyou. Now, Kagome didn't hate Kikyou, or anything,-although, in the heat of the moment, she might have called her a bitch one or twice or twelve times- in fact, she even sympathized with her. I mean really, Kikyou lost her life, love, and happiness, all in the same day. Really, Kagome understood, that sucked, but did she have to go and kill Inuyasha? No, I think not.
To tell you the truth, she wasn't even sad about dying, except for the fact that, you know, she was still a virgin and all, but really, who was going to care if she lived or died? Okay, well, the present time didn't count. Although, it would probably be a lot easier on her family, 'cause her jii-chan wouldn't have to make up anymore diseases, and her okaasan wouldn't have to worry. Even her little brother would be better off. Kagome sighed. It was just too damn hard to be a superhero, or even a supermiko.
Kagome finished taking her bath, and it was only a mark of how weak she had gotten, that she did not notice that she was not alone.
Shippou looked up into the swirling dark greyish-purple sky. He stopped as a tiny white piece of ice made it's way down to the sober earth. It landed on his nose, and he brushed it off.
"Hey, Miroku," he called to the monk, who was tending the fire and making lunch. "It's snowing." Miroku made no indication that he had heard Shippou, but he knew that he had. "I wonder if Kagome likes the snow?" Shippou scrunched his eyes together, then started sobbing. "Wahh! I don't want Kagome to die!" Miroku sighed.
"You must be strong, Shippou. Kagome does not want you to be sad for her. Be happy that she is moving on to the next world." Shippou wiped his eyes on his sleeve.
"But I don't want her to go to the next world. I don't even want her to go to her world."
Sango opened her eyes, and sat up from another disturbed nightmare. The first thing she thought is "where is everybody?", but she remembered quickly. Kagome was quarantined(although, since she was out during the day, she didn't see the point in this). Inuyasha, well, he was somewhere, but she really hadn't see him. Shippou was here, though, and so was Kirara. Where was Miroku? Sango slid out through the screen doorway. She didn't see how the weather had changed so suddenly. A few hours ago, it had been threatening snow, and now it was warm, and humid; it was raining. Miroku was out on the steps of the hut. She sat down beside him, and rested her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her waist, and they sat there for a few minutes, watching the rain.
"Miroku," Sango asked. "Do you think that Inuyasha will go to hell with Kikyou now?"
Miroku sighed, unhappiness blossomed in his voice. "I believe that Inuyasha does not want Kagome to die. I think that she might live, if she went to her time, for medicine."
"Then why doesn't she go?"
"Because she loves Inuyasha. She knows that if she was sick for a long time, and didn't come back, then Inuyasha might die."
"But then why is she so angry with him. Don't get me wrong, I'd be mad to, but why doesn't she just tell him that?"
"She wants him to understand exactly how she is dying"
"Huh?"
"Think about it. It's the same way with Kikyou. How would you feel if the person you loved was with another person, who was dead, and would soon live forever, and because of that, you would die. I'm sure you wouldn't be cheerful. In a way, it's like Kikyou stole Kagome's life" Sango looked puzzled.
"But if that's the case then why doesn't she just go get help and let him die?"
"She and Kikyou are one in the same. Do you realize that Kikyou's time with Inuyasha was cut short also? Their souls were destined to be together, only not in life."
"If what you're saying is true, then-"
"Kagome didn't come back to this world to avenge Kikyou's death, she came to free Inuyasha's soul so he could die. She knows that, even if it's just subconscious, and I think she needs Inuyasha to realize it also. I think that the reason she is staying is that Inuyasha can find peace in this world, so he can die, and be in the next world with her."
"That's so sad."
Miroku nodded. "Yes, it's tragic, but I never expected the fairy tale to end happily."
"I always thought that the heroine and the hero got together. But they were happy here. I guess sometimes true love doesn't conquer all."
Kagome had always thought that any fairytale where the main characters die was not a good story, unless of course it was a sacrifice. But she had forgotten about the certain story. The heroine, Nayami, died, and she died simply because she was not strong. She died because her lord, Kagawaki (seriously, that was his name, no pun intended) sacrificed her, so that his area, or village, whatever, would not be attacked. Now, it may have sounded like he let her die to save the rest of the village, but he was very strong, and could have easily defeated the enemy, but he knew that Nayami was in love with him, and he wanted to get rid of her.
He loved her, though, too.
That was his problem. She was only a maid, and he was a lord. He couldn't marry her, because then he would be disgraced, so he killed her off, in the most noble way possible. Then, the enemy threw him off of a cliff just for the heck of it. Then they killed the village.
Come to think of it, it wasn't a fairytale, it was a novel.
A really long, bloody, dark novel.
The night was cold, and she could feel Inuyasha's presence. He was close. She wanted nothing more than to touch him. To hold him in her arms, and tell him that it was all just a bloody, horrible nightmare, and that they would wake up and everything would be back to normal.
Why did she have to love him?
Why did she have to come to this time?
Dammit, why couldn't Onigumo have been like Kagawaki and been thrown off a cliff, and have actually died? She didn't like wishing death on anyone, but, Kami, if she could handle it than that ass sure could.
Why couldn't she just go home?
Out of all of her questions, this one was the one that bothered her the most. Why couldn't she just go home and take some antibiotics and be healthy again? She was sure that there was a cure in her time, but she just couldn't go back. She had to see Inuyasha's face again.
Why did he have to be such a coward? Why couldn't he just face her? Why couldn't he just say he was sorry? But even if he did say he was sorry, would she forgive him?
So many stupid questions, and so few stupid answers. She would go back to her time, soon, just not now. But if not now, then when? When could she abandon Inuyasha to save herself?
The answer was, never. He would be the death of her.
Okay, Inuyasha decided, it was time. He had to see her now. Three of the promised five days had passed, and Kagome had become bedridden. She couldn't stop coughing. Inuyasha had to see if Kagome hated him, and if there was anything that he could do for her.
It was early morning, and judging by the red clouds in the sky, it was going to be another stormy day. He sighed.
It was a time for death and despair, perhaps tears, also. But whatever it was it was definitely not a time for happiness. But of course, even in the most horrible of days, of feelings,-hate, anger, pain, loss, tragedy- there was still the fucking feeling, love. Damn, this was not time for major, life-changing revelations, it was, of course a time for- what was that crash?
Wherever Inuyasha's mind had been wandering, it was back on Earth now. He ran towards the sound of the crash, and towards the village. Inuyasha looked around, and realized that it had come from Kaede's hut. It was a sign. He opened the screen door, and found everything in perfect order, except for the fact that Kagome was asleep, and not happy and bubbly, like she usually was. Sango was the first to speak, and her words, though not unexpectedly, were sharp.
"Well, here his is, Mr. Big Bad Hanyou himself. What have you come here for? To put Kagome out of her misery?"
Perhaps the worst part of Sango's words, was that they were true to cause. No one even tried to tell her to be quiet or not to be so harsh. They all knew that her words were perfectly fitting. Either way, Inuyasha swallowed the lump in his throat to speak.
"I need to talk to Kagome." Sango instantly flushed. Miroku and Kaede stood up to leave, but Sango refused.
"No! No, I will not let you put her into more pain than she already is. It's your fault, and you'll just have to deal with it."
"No, Sango, let him stay." Sango and Inuyasha turned around. Kagome had somehow sat up, and decided to talk to Inuyasha. "Please, I need to talk to him." she said, softly.
Sango made an about-face, and said "It's you life, Kagome-chan." She left the hut. Inuyasha turned around.
"Kagome," he started.
"Please, Inuyasha, I don't want to argue."
"Do you hate me?" Inuyasha asked sincerely. Kagome sighed.
"No."
"Then why won't you forgive me?" Kagome looked away.
"There are some things you just can't forgive."
"Dammit, Kagome! I'm sorry. Kami! I made a mistake, I'm only a person." She looked up at him, with tears in her eyes.
"Do you think that changes the fact that I'm going to die? You might have been willing to throw away your life, but I wasn't." Kagome looked away again. "All because I fell in love. . ." Inuyasha bent down, and looked at her, but didn't believe his super human ears.
"Kagome, Kikyou offered me what was stolen away. She said that we could finally be happy, and I wanted that. I didn't trust her fifty years ago, but I do now. Please understand-"
"You really don't get it, do you? This whole time, and you don't even understand."
"Understand what?"
"Never mind, it's not important." Liar, she called herself. "Just leave me alone."
"I never wanted you to die. You have to know that."
"I am not afraid of dying. Like you said, it may just be all I ever wanted. Now please, leave." Inuyasha got up and turned to leave, but Kagome stopped him. "And Inuyasha, stop following me around."
It was finally time. Kagome had said all she needed, and she felt her death drawing nearer. The feeling of impending doom is not one likely to be mistaken. Although, today was one that one would think would be a happy day. The rain had finally let up, and it was a beautiful, gem of a day. A day that Kagome would not soon forget.
She had not lied to Inuyasha about not being afraid of dying. When it happened, she could only pray that she would not be forgotten. She had given Sango the few Shikon no Kakera that she had left, and asked her to please forgive Inuyasha. Her last act, before leaving the presence of her friends, was to hide a knife in her sleeve.
Perhaps she would need it, perhaps she would not. She said her goodbyes to Sango and Shippou, who were crying, and Miroku and Kaede, who did not cry, for the simple reason being that they had to be strong for the others. They knew she would never return. Inuyasha wasn't there, but she was sure that he was off, lurking just beyond her sight. She started the painful limp towards the Bone Eaters Well, and away from her friends.
Kagome stood in front of the well, with her yellow bag. Finally, she was alone. She pulled out the knife that she had hidden in her sleeve. She sat down, and forced herself to straighten out her leg. She tied a tourniquet around her leg, above her knee, figuring that, soon it wouldn't matter if her leg had to be amputated or not. She took the knife, and sliced right across the top of the wound, to let the pressure out. She sighed, since the tourniquet stopped the blood flow to her leg, so it was numb. Standing up, she gingerly put pressure on her knee.
It felt better.
She limped over to the edge of the well, and sat down. Not willing to leave the Sengoku Jidai just yet, she stared right into the beautiful depths of the sun. As she did so, she felt a brief burst of a contradicting aura; Inuyasha. Ignoring it, she dug into her bag for a bottle of water. She unscrewed the cap, and brought it to her lips, but all of a sudden, her body was overcome with exhaustion, and she fell into the bottom of the well.
Inuyasha witnessed Kagome falling, and ran to get her, to force her to get better. To force her to understand. But when he jumped into the well, he did not cross over into Kagome's time. He did not see her, collapsed at the bottom of the well. All he saw was an empty bottle of water. He couldn't cross back over to the other dimension.
Then, he finally broke down.
He cried.
He sobbed.
He understood.
He loved Kikyou and Kagome.
Kagome was Kikyou, reborn.
Kagome opened her eyes. She could hear someone crying. It disappeared as soon as she came to her senses, but she was sure that that person had been crying for her. She realized that she was in her time, but she didn't remember falling into the well. Completely forgetting her pack, she stood up, wincing in pain of her knee, and climbed out of the well, that being no easy feat.
She finally climbed up and out of the well, and limped up to the kitchen door of her home. She opened the door, and immediately saw her mother. She had another coughing fit, and blood ran down her mouth, much more blood than before. She was bleeding to death. Her mother rushed to her aid.
"I think . . .I need," she said between coughs, "to go to the hospita-"
Kagome passed out.
In the time it took Kagome's mother to get her to the hospital, Inuyasha had found Kikyou. He hadn't even had to look. He instantly knew exactly where she would be, and he wasted no time to get there, he didn't even bother to wipe his eyes. As soon as he met Kikyou, she had them leave.
"I know where he is." She said, quickly. That was all it took. He didn't know how, but suddenly, Naraku was there. Kikyou chanted, though, and all of a sudden, a blood red, Shikon no Tama soared into her hands, and was instantly purified to it's neutral state. Only five missing shards were needed to complete the jewel, and they flew into it, making it whole again. Inuyasha snatched it out of her hands, and a brief thread of shock or mistrust shot through Kikyou's eyes- it was one of the last vestiges of the mistrust that had gotten them into this in the first place, and he was sure that it would not have been present if Kagome had been the one holding the jewel, but Inuyasha ignored it, and quickly made his wish.
I wish that Naraku was dead!
Naraku, who had been charging at them suddenly stopped.
Kagome opened her eyes, and only heard part of the doctor's conversation with her mother.
"This disease," he said, "is so strange. It must have died out over five hundred years ago." At that, her mother choked out a sob. The doctor, who must have seen his fair share of tears and death during his occupation, ignored her. "It had started in her stomach, so we will be doing an emergency gastric bypass, to remove the part of the infected stomach, but, it may have already started to go into her bloodstream, so it might already be too late, but we will try the best we can." Her mother nodded. As they started wheeling Kagome out of the room, and into the O.R., tears ran down her face. She understood the real meaning of the doctors words.
She knew that she was going to die. It was a beautiful thing, the imprint of her soul on this fragile Earth.
Naraku stopped. His eyes were no longer hopeless red, but clear, clear brown. One might very well see down into his soul. Naraku turned to stone, and crumbled at Inuyasha's feet, leaving the burnt, half-dead thief, Onigumo. Kikyou pulled out an arrow, and stabbed him once in the back, in the middle of the spider mark, reducing the rest of him to ashes.
He couldn't even beg for his life.
The Shikon no Tama, that Inuyasha had wished upon, had not been purified as the couple would have hoped. Inuyasha has wished to take a life away, and even though it had been to save others' lives, it could not have been purified. In a few hours, Kikyou and Inuyasha started the transcend, not into hell, but to a dimension where they could forever live in one memory. Perhaps they could find happiness there.
Kagome was out of surgery, and in considerable pain. Morphine hadn't worked at all, as her body had purified it, but the doctors knew that she would not be alive in the next few hours, so they let her family in to see her.
"Mommy," Kagome called out blindly.
"Yes, sweetheart, I'm here."
"And Souta and Jii-chan?"
"They are here, too. Sweetheart, why didn't you come home, sooner?"
"I had to be with Inuyasha."
Jii-chan spoke up. "Is he the one who put you in all of this pain, granddaughter?" He said harshly. "I notice that he is not here now."
"No, Jii-chan," Kagome said softly, "the one who put me here now, is called Onigumo, but he is already dead."
"Then why isn't Inuyasha here?" Souta asked miserably.
"Quite possibly, because he, too, is on his deathbed."
The room went silent. Higurashi-san spoke up first.
"Deathbed?" She said, concern lacing her normally happy tone. "But how can he be dying? How could he-?"
"Inuyasha has been very strong for me in the past," Kagome said, "and all he is doing, is being with who I was, in the past. In doing so, he has sealed his fate." Her words made no sense.
"Sealed his fate? But how?"
"I does not matter." Kagome sighed.
"Does not matter!" Kagome's mother went hysterical. "How can it not matter? Kagome, we love you. We don't want you to die. That matters a lot." Kagome smiled sadly.
"Oh, mama, please, don't be sad. When I die, I will go to a wonderful place. Neither heaven nor hell, it is a dimension, not called 'death', but it is simply the place that is before you are born. Half-existence, you might call it. It is no more than I place where I can reside until I must protect the jewel again. I can be happy there, and I look forward to seeing Inuyasha again." Higurashi's face clouded, then she smiled.
"Tell me about this 'Jewel'. Tell me all about your 'sengoku jidai'." Kagome's eyes went misty, reminiscing the time she shared with her friends. She proceeded to tell her family a beautiful and haunting tale, of princesses, demons, and lords. And of three very special Mikos, the ones who call themselves the 'Shikon no Miko'. It was a story than spanned over one thousand years, but it was a story that had to be told.
She told them the story of Shikon no Tama, and how it had webbed it's way into her life.
And for a while, she could be happy, because she knew that those memories were as close to her heart as ever before, and she also knew that soon, she would never have to leave them.
Her pain faded into nothing.
Kikyou held Inuyasha in her arms, as she drove the passageway to the other world, as only one from that world could. It was a good five minutes, or five hours, the time in which Kagome, five hundred years into the future told the story, that Kikyou had become an unwilling part of.
Kagome was in a doze, her story been told, and now, her mother slept in the chair beside her bed. Kagome was at a complete serenity. She did not worry what would become of her, because, as she had told her mother, she would soon be very happy. Even her pain seemed to fade away. Her heart started to beat just a little slower. It would only be a few more minutes now.
Kikyou only needed a few more minutes now. The Shikon no Tama was cradled in both her and Inuyasha's hands. On it, she made a final wish, that completely purified the jewel.
Kagome opened her eyes, and whispered to her mother, or maybe, she just thought it.
I want to be cremated, mama, and spread my ashes in the well. The story of the Shikon no Miko must be retold. No one can ever forget humanity's lesson. Don't ever let them forget.
Kikyou only wanted the same thing, but, then again, they were one in the same.
Inuyasha, as he was being dragged by his only love to his demise, was not dying by anyone else's hand but his own.
The rosary broke.
Purple beads scattered all over the ground. As ironic as it was, it took his death to free him from his curse. He now realized that it was a blessing, and it could only be broken when he realized that his fate was his own. He didn't need it anymore.
The souls that had tied Kikyou to this world were now escaping her imitation body.
She did not need then anymore.
She finally gave up the vain struggle to breath, drowning in her own blood. Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing except the blinding light of the gorgeous Sun.
The heart-rate monitor buzzed loudly, and doctors rushed to help the dead girl, but even as her mother sobbed, Kagome had left something important for all of her friends and family. She left the love and serenity, the courage and hope to carry on.
Even though her baby was dead, Higurashi found the courage to be happy for her daughter.
It was exactly 12:01 AM.
Inuyasha and Kikyou finally made it to the other world, with no regrets. They left the love and serenity, the courage and hope to carry on, for the people who would need it.
It was exactly 12:01 AM.
T h e y w e r e n e v e r a l o n e .
Epilogue
The girl sat in the middle of an empty field, half-asleep, in the warm sunshine. Not older than sixteen, she wore a miko's kimono, only instead of the traditional red, her's was a light, neutral blue. She slept there until her companion arrived. He was no older than her, only he wore a bright red kimono. He sat down beside her.
"It's been a long time, Inuyasha." She said, softly.
"Yes," he agreed. "But time well spent." He looked down to what the girl had been watching all of this time. A young woman, pregnant. He cleared his throat. "Is that her?"
"The one who will bear my incarnation? Yes, that's her."
"Kagome made this wish?"
"No, it was Kikyou's will, that the jewel go on."
"Why? Didn't she think that it would turn out the same way as last time?" The girl looked at him. Inuyasha realized his mistake. "What do you want me to call you? Kagome, Kikyou?"
"Midoriko?" Kagome added. Inuyasha nodded, remembering. "It does not matter. You might call me 'Nayami'."
"Nayami, I am glad you are well."
"How could I not be? I have been with you, these last few years." Inuyasha smiled.
"And I, you." He cleared his throat, once more, nodding towards the girl. "Now, why didn't you-?"
"If we forget what we have learned, how will humanity ever survive? Did you really think that the jewel would never find it's way back to this world?"
"I had doubts."
"At least, this way, we might find each other again."
"We will."
"How can you be sure?"
"Because, death has never stopped us before."
"True." Nayami smiled, softly, and Inuyasha chuckled.
"At least," Inuyasha started. "Maybe this time, we could be together in life."
"Probably not."
"We could never be together in life, could we." Nayami shook her head.
"No, my love, never in life."
WOOT! It's finished! YAY! Anyways, to answer a couple of questions you might have:
#1 Why that bit about Sango and the song?
Err, I don't really know, except I wanted more Sango in the story, and it was kind or a cool song, wasn't it? I made it up beams with pride
#2 Why didn't Naraku just dissapear when Inuyasha made the wish for him to die?
Because, Naraku is a hanyou. Actually 'Naraku' is his youkai side's name (talk about split-personality!), so when Inuyasha wished Naraku dead, he had forgotten about Onigumo, who didn't have enough strength to fight in the first place. All it took was a quick purification courtesy of Kikyou (which is what she should have done in the first place) and bada-bing baba-boom, fried Naraku,
#3 What was with all of the hype about Kagome being Kikyou?
Because.
Arigatou, minna-san, I'm outta here.
Lexi-chan
