Competition
Deep in the deep, dark depths of space... no, deeper. Darker! Darker I say! Wait, wait! Too far, back up a bit. Good... a little more. Stop! Right there!
Ahem. Deep in the dark depths of space sits a small but growing force in the galaxy, centered at the planet of Flarg. On this planet is a young soldier, called Vim. She was fairly typical for her race, physically speaking. Rather short, perhaps a little over a meter tall, with the the glowing blue eyes on her head and the prehensile strands of protein growing from the top. Her skin was a nice healthy yellowish gold color, offsetting her ground-dwelling cillia and manipulator claws nicely.
But she was no ordinary Flargian Soldier. No, she was an elite, the best the Flargian military could produce. And as of this moment, she was being summoned by the Triumvirate Council, the three most advanced computers Flargian science had produced and pretty much ran the Empire.
Vim stepped into the pool of light and stood at attention before the might of the three giant computers. Electricity crackled and lights blinked impressively on self-monitoring control panels.
"Welcome, Soldier Vim!" said the middle computer, it's voice booming and echoing in the cavernous room, "We have chosen you out of all the Flargian military to carry out a special mission for us. Recently, we captured a free-floating escape vessel from a group of freedom fighters known as 'The Resisty'. The occupant told us some disturbing facts."
A screen came into view, showing a small green figure with red eyes and antennae. "This... is a typical member of a race called the Irken. They have apparently been attempting to conquer the galaxy for quite some time. Currently, their holdings are nearly a third of the galaxy."
"Fortunately," the computer on the left piped up, "They are on the other side of the galaxy from us, so we've had no contact with them."
"Unfortunately," the computer on the right interjected, "It is only a matter of time before we do encounter them."
"They must have not gotten our memo stating that it is WE who are destined to conquer the universe!" reported the middle computer again, "Our calculations ind--"
"Wait, did we send a memo?" cut in the right computer, "I mean, that would seem kinda strange. Then everyone would know we're coming."
"I don't remember a memo," confirmed the left computer.
"No, we didn't send a memo!" exclaimed the middle computer, "I was just using poetic license and metaphor!"
"That's a pretty stupid metaphor," said the left computer derisively.
"Yeah, no kidding," agreed the right, "I mean... geez. How does it even follow? We've only conquered a few star systems as it is right now. That's hardly a memo in the metaphoric sense. Maybe a sticky-note."
"Yeah, a sticky-note would be a better analogy."
"Well it doesn't matter!" exclaimed the middle computer irritably, "Forget the accursed memo already! Ahem... as I was saying, Soldier Vim, our calculations indicate that we cannot win in a direct military engagement with their Armada. Given their current rate of advance, they will notice us in a few galactic cycles' time. Before that happens, we need to gather more resources for the coming fight and discover some kind of weakness of the Irken Empire. Your mission is to go here..."
The screen changed to a small blue green planet with large swirly clouds twisting along the surface. "Earth," the comptuer continued, "Our sources indicate that there is a lone Irken 'Invader' on this world. Unlike most of the Irken conquests, this world is far flung from their Empire and is much less likely to be reinforced in readiness by their Armada, making it perfect for our purposes.
It is also very close to our own region of space, making it ripe for our own conquest. Your mission, Soldier, is to go to this Earth, blend in with the native inhabitants, research the Irken there, acquire and study any Irken technology you find, and discover any weaknesses you can. In addition, you should prepare the inhabitants of this world for our own invasion forces. We will need more worlds if we hope to combat the Irken menace."
"Understood, sirs!" Vim replied, saluting smartly with her right clawed manipulator, "I am honored to be given this assignment by the Council."
"You should be," replied the middle computer, "We have dispatched some spies on some information retrieval missions. They have returned with some examples of Irken technology that we have reverse engineered for our purposes."
"We got 'em from a garbage dump!" chimed in the right computer.
"Yes, well... at any rate, this is highly alien equipment. There may be some... glitches still in the systems. This is also unlikely to be the most advanced Irken machinery available, so avoid a direct confrontation if you can."
"End of line," all three computers said before going dark, leaving Vim alone in the night.
"Um... hello? Sirs? Could you wake up for a moment? The door won't work without power. Uh... hello? I can't get out!"
Several hours later, Vim had managed to free herself from the darkened room and was on her way to Requisitions to retrieve her reverse engineered loot.
"I am Vim!" the petite yellow skinned alien reported to the robotic requisitions drone, "I am here to pick up the special equipment for my secret mission."
"Okee dokey, let's see what I got for ya," the drone replied, rummaging around the surprisingly messy requisitions center, "Lessee... one Secret Base In a Box. One hard-holographic disguise kit. A box of ToastSnax (tm). The keys to your own Experimental Flarg Interdictor. Oh! And a Robotic Information-retrieval Drone. Or RID. Here ya go!"
The drone dumped the goods at Vim's cillia, her blue eyes looking down at the heap of junk. "Huh. Okay." Suddenly, the pile moved and up popped a small robot form, the eyes and panels of it's shoulders and torso glowing an evil red.
"Sir! RID is ready and reporting for duty, sir!" the small robot said in an annoyingly high-squeaky voice as it saluted smartly.
"Excellent," Vim replied, folding her claws behind her back, "RID! Outline your functionality."
"Primary functions include information retrieval and storage, security, and snack-making, sir!"
"Primary functions?" Vim asked, narrowing her blue eyes at the small robot, "And what about secondary functions?"
The small robot paused for a while, beginning to vibrate. The vibrating began to grow more and more pronounced, eventually seeming like the small device would explode. Vim cringed in preparation for the inevitable when the small robot stopped and opened it's head, out popping some horribly charred toast.
"I also make toast!! I's make it good!" RID screamed, grabbing the breaded product and gobbling it down quickly, "Mmm, thems good eatin'!"
Vim stared for a moment. A few glitches, the Council had said. This was to be expected. Still, it wasn't too bad. The young Flargian solider dug in the heap of junk, pulling out a small silver key with two fuzzy spheroids attached by a bit of string. "Very well, RID! Gather up the equipment and follow me to our specially enhanced Interdictor. Our mission begins now!"
As she marched off with overloaded minion in tow, the requisitions drone waved one of it's many robotic arms. "Have fun storming the planet! Safe trip now!"
