Chapter 4: Toasted Catastrophe
What a harrowing day at Skool. Vim was thankful to be back at her base, though she peered down at the slip of paper in her fingers with Dib's address.
"Should I go?" she asked to no one in particular as she strode up her walkway, "The boy did seem insane. But on the other hand, may know something about Zim. Hmm..." Pulling the handle, the Flargian soldier pushed the door inwards.
But it didn't budge.
"Strange. Something must be blocking it," Vim murmured pressing her holographic shoulder against the frame and pushing hard. Several times she tried, the door sticking fast. Finally, after a mighty push, there was a horrific crackle and crunched and the door opened wide enough for the Flargian to slip inside.
What she saw nearly floored her. Jaw dropping and eyes going large, she saw the entire house as far as could be scene covered with piles and piles of toast. Some of the piles were buttered, some were coated with jam, but a lot were simply plain. They were all horribly burnt.
"What... what is the meaning of – AAAAAGH!!" Vim screamed as one of the piles teetered and collapsed on her, burying her in a grave of breakfasty doom. Only her arm poked out of the toast debris, waving manically.
"I made toast!" screamed a high-pitched mechanical voice as Rid, sans costume, bounded into the living room with a plate of toast covered in some kind of syrup. The little robot paused, noticing the flailing appendage and gasped in horror, dropping the plate. "Oh no! My toast is in trouble! I'll save you, breadery goodness!"
Rid struck a pose then dived into the pile, amazingly doing a breast-stroke through the burnt bread. Reaching the failing arm, the robot dug deep, pulling Vim's head up from the suffocating pile. She gasped for breath, clawing at the toast.
"Mistress!" Rid said cheerfully, "I made you toast!" Suddenly, Rid's voice changed to a sing-songy tone, "It was very naughty of you to disturb my zen toast garden. But I forgive you. The toast knows all!"
Vim gritted her teeth and clawed the rest of her way from the pile, flopping down on the ground and breathing heavily. After a few moments, she picked herself up and glared at Rid who was happily humming as it straightened up the damaged toast pile. "Rid! What have you done?! This is unconscionable!"
Rid just stared at Vim like a cow looks at an oncoming train.
Vim gritted her teeth again. "Rid. I order you to remove all this unsightly toast from the house. Got it? Now, Rid!"
Rid's eyes watered with tears. "You... you don't want any toast?" Suddenly the robot exploded in a shrill whine of tears, "NO TOAST? HOW COULD ANYONE LIKE NO TOAST! I CAN'T BE RID OF THE TOAST! THE TOAST IS MY FRIEND! DON'T TAKE AWAY MY HAPPINESS!"
"I said now, Rid!"
Rid paused a moment then smiled brightly, "Okay!" With that, the robot plunged into a pile of toast, sending it clattering to the ground and causing a chain reaction that brought the rest of Toast Hinge down with it.
Several hours later, Vim had managed to extract herself from the toast by carving an elaborate system of tunnels through the scattered pieces.
"I think this sets my mind," she stated flatly, "Rid! I'm going out for an intelligence gathering mission. I want all this toast gone by the time I'm back, got it?"
Rid popped up from somewhere in the sea of bread and saluted, "Yes, my lord!"
Vim grunted once and waded her way to the door, stepping outside. Brushing a few crumbs from herself, Vim started walking when Rid suddenly appeared, complete with hamster guise.
"Mistress! Mistress! Wait! WAIT! You need snacks!" the little robot chirped, holding up a box of ToastSnax (tm) and shaking it, "You can't leave without a snack!"
Vim stared down at Rid then swiped the box. "Very well. But remember what I said. No toast inside when I return, understand? I'll be back in a few hours." With that, Vim turned on her heel and marched off.
