By: K-c
A/N: So as you can tell, this fic is not based off of anything except for imagination. I know that Hughes died in a recent episode, but I kinda wrote that part before watching the episode. (SO SAD!) Anywho, thanks for the reviews and I know a lot of you are saying that my fic is rivaling Stand Up and Walk Forward by Saturn Stars, but I don't think it is, nor will it ever. She's too good. I try. I'm glad you guys think that, but it's not true.
More news from K-c: I have a million school projects that the teachers threw on me at the same time (TWO DUE ON THE SAME DAY! ARRGH!) so it'll be a while till I update from now on. Delayed by projects . . .doesn't that just SUCK! Oh well . . .here's ch.5! Enjoy!
Ch.5: Destroy My Life
Winry's POV:
"Where are you going this time?"
"I just gotta leave town for a bit on a mission . . .it shouldn't take long. I'll be back soon."
"B-but . . .what am I supposed to do while you're gone?"
"Sit here and wait for me like you always did . . ."
"I'm so sick of doing that! You leave me all the time! For once, stay for more than three days! Don't you ever think about how I feel when you turn your back on me?"
"I'll be back soon . . .don't worry . . ."
Warm, salty tears spilled down my cheeks and into my slightly parted open mouth as I lay on my back, staring at the dark ceiling above me and the turning fan. A little tassel hung down from the center of it and swung around with the blades in the continuous movement. My eyes followed the fan for a bit, my head getting dizzy but my body not responding to any of it. I wasn't feeling any cool air, but I didn't need to . . .my body was clammy and cold without the assistance of the appliance above me. A light coming from underneath the door cast shadows on the far wall of the dresser and my hand that I held out in front of me to stare at. I watched as my fingers twirled around a long braid that I had kept in my pocket. The silky blue texture rubbed across my fingers gently and I was transfixed by the simple little item.
Ed gave this to me when we were little . . .a simple, meaningless gift of no value or importance . . .but still, after all these years . . .I still have it. What is it about this braid that causes my heart to pound like crazy? What is this feeling? He's just a childhood friend to me . . .someone who I had known almost my entire life . . .someone who I played and laughed with . . .but what's this new emotion? When he was gone . . .I took out this braid from my pocket every night and just stared at it like this; deep thoughts and memories rushing back into my head. I could never connect my thoughts with my feelings and I always disregarded them as loneliness . . .nothing else. My dreams that flew through my mind each night were always about him . . .but nothing else. Nothing else at all . . .
The dream I had just experienced hadn't been a new one. I have had that dream many times before and still it caused me to shed tears over it. Even though he's back into my life, I feel like I haven't found him yet. He's so different from what I could remember of him two years ago. I haven't seen him crack a genuine smile for the longest time and I keep finding myself longing and aching constantly to see it. His smile used to brighten my life up one grin at a time, but now . . .now I'm in the dark. As each day passes, I find my mind wandering on the thought of him incessantly like an obsession. I can't sleep at night anymore with the image of him playing in my head over and over again. Words that he's never said before echo through my mind and make tears well up inside of my eyes. Words that he's never said . . .but will someday. Words that I fear to hear with every inch of my body . . .
A low creaking sound emitted from over to my right and I turned my head around to see none other than Edward himself standing in the doorway, his silhouette only visible to me from the light behind him. He stood there for a moment, apparently staring straight into the room and directly at me. I sat up in the bed and clutched the covers to my chest, covering up my slightly revealing top. He didn't seem to notice or realize this as he stepped over to me, his boots thudding softly on the hard wood floor that lay between, separating us. He stopped right beside the bed I was sitting on and stared down at me, his beautiful eyes shining in the meager light. His mere presence made my insides burn with desire and I craved his touch. I swung my legs around to the side of the bed and faced him, wrapping my legs around his'. Every thought in my head was consumed by the fiery passion driving me to do the things I was. I reached up and placed my hands on his sides underneath his red coat.
I didn't feel the same anymore . . .I only wanted him and nothing else. Even if he wasn't reacting at all to my actions, I still wanted him. I needed him. I reached up further and grabbed the collar of his jacket tightly and pulled him forwards, throwing him on top of me. I fell backwards onto the bed, still holding onto him with all of my life. My mind was screaming suggestions for releasing this inner torture inside of my body and things that I could do to satisfy this hungry craving and I felt at a loss. Edward didn't do anything, to my disappointment, even when I began to rub my hands up and down his back . . .he only stared at me. Getting frustrated by his cold emotion, I furiously ripped out his hair tie and threw it on the floor near us. His golden hair fell all over my face and I ran my fingers through it, savouring the silky texture between my fingers. My heart was pounding out of control and my breath was coming short, constricting all of the words I wanted to scream out to him.
What's wrong with him? I thought this was what he wanted! The way he had looked at me before gave me the hint and now I express my inner feelings to him and he does nothing at all. Why won't he say anything to me?
It wasn't until I had looked up from pressing my face into his neck that I noticed his eyes. The golden colour seemed glazed over and faded in a way. I couldn't see any emotion running through those beautiful eyes of his and it made me start to freak out. His gaze was still fixed on me perfectly, unblinking and unmoving. I gasped out quietly when I didn't see any pupils within those irises. What the hell?
"Edward? Are you okay?" I asked him softly, my voice hushed in fear and wonder. I turned my head slightly to the side to make sure that it just wasn't a trick of light and I soon realized that it wasn't a hallucination. He didn't say anything once again and just continued to stare at me with those haunting eyes. They seemed so hollow and dead . . .like something that isn't even human.
A cold hand suddenly grasped mine and I gasped quite loudly in surprise. I looked down to see Ed holding onto my hand tightly and his eyes still transfixed onto me. He then stood to his feet, moving off of me and still holding my hand with a strong grip and pulled me to my feet as well. I stumbled for a second, but regained my balance as he started to walk to the door without a single word in explanation. I resisted at first, refusing to move from the spot I was standing in, but after a long tug-of-war session between us, I gave in quickly, not wanting my arm to be ripped off. Allowing him to drag me along didn't stop me from asking him a tidal wave of questions.
"Where are we going? What's going on here? Why won't you talk to me? What's wrong with you? Did something happen? Tell me! Ed, talk to me!" I called out loudly, unaware at the moment that other people were in the same hotel as us and were probably trying to sleep at this late hour. My bare feet slapped the wood floor and marched in time with his as he took me down the hallway to the stairs. He dragged me effortlessly down the stairs, making a lot of noise in the process as well. We reached the front door and he burst through it, and into the cold night air. Goosebumps ran through my body as he continued to walk at a fast pace in a direction I wasn't familiar with, but I refused to question him, knowing I wouldn't receive an answer.
Ed turned a corner and marched into an alley, still pulling me along by the hand, and kept walking without a word of assurance for me. There's something up with him . . .what is it? My mind was jumbled up in a bundle of questions and worries towards my 'captor' and my mouth was too dry to say anything at all. My arm was starting to hurt from being tugged on constantly without any relief but I kept thinking that we would eventually reach our destination—wherever it was—and that this torture would soon end.
I was right. Not long after we had turned down into the alley, Ed had finally come to a stop in front of a metal door alongside of the building on our left. As I stared at the door, I observed that it looked like it hadn't been used or opened for more than ten years, but still, Ed was standing right in front of it expectantly. A long moment of silence passed between us as he continued to gaze at the door as if waiting for something to happen. I didn't bother to say a word, even though a question was lingering on the tip of my tongue. His eyes . . .what's wrong with them? They look so different . . .
A low screeching sound issued from the door and it started to open slowly, the creaking of old metal growing increasingly louder with each inch. I jumped backwards in surprise from the sudden movement, but Ed's grip on my hand only tightened. I obliged to his silent order and didn't move as the door swung open and a dark silhouette of somebody stood before us. It wasn't until the person stepped out of the door and into the meager glow from the streetlights that I recognized whom it was. Ed's mother? B-but . . .she's . . .
"Edward . . .please come in . . ." she whispered in her honey-sweet voice, motioning for us to walk past her and into the building behind her. I remained frozen on the spot, my heart and mind completely numbed over in shock, confusion, disbelief and horror. Ed began to step into the building and tugged on my hand to take me in with him, but I refused to move . . .my eyes were too transfixed on the woman in front of me. This has to be some sort of trick . . .it can't be his mother . . .she . . .died . . .
"What's the matter, Winry? I won't bite . . ." she assured in that gentle voice of hers and giving off one of her loving smiles. I knew what she was saying was a lie . . .this couldn't be her . . .it can't. This is my imagination . . .nothing more than an illusion . . .Ed yanked on my arm once more in a way of saying 'hurry up and get in' and I wanted to follow him . . .I really wanted to follow him . . .but my body wouldn't move.
One hard tug sent me flying into the building. I stumbled around, trying to stand on my own two feet without toppling over again. Ed didn't bother to steady me, but he was staring off into the distance again, his eyes not really focusing on anything at all. A loud clang of metal sounded behind me and I spun around to see Ed's 'mother' closing the door and walking towards me with a sweet grin on her face. I cringed involuntarily at her cheery face and followed her closely with my eyes, not trusting any of her movements.
"Can any of you bother to tell me what the hell's going on here?" I blurted out, suddenly finding my tongue. Edward's 'mother' turned to look at me, her eyes flashing in the red light coming around a corner and that plastic smile still plastered on her face. Ed also glanced over at me, staring at me with those lifeless gold eyes of his and not a single emotion noticeable on his beautiful face. I still want him . . .but he's acting so strange . . .I'm almost afraid to go near him . . .
Ed stepped over to me, letting go of my hand, and rested his natural hand on my bare shoulder. I flinched at his soft touch, my body squirming with crazed thoughts. I felt my heart burn at his mere touch and I had to push back all of my desires for a moment, just trying to understand what was going on here. He stared unblinkingly into my eyes with those solid irises of his. My heart started to pound like crazy and my hands down by my sides began to shake uncontrollably. I want him so badly . . .
"Now."
With that little word, so many things happened at the same time. I was quickly scooped up into somebody's arms and carried hurriedly away from Ed who was now being held in his 'mother's' arms, still gazing at me with those lifeless eyes. The woman standing beside him and holding him in her arms smirked evilly at me, her eyes now flashing a light purple colour. I watched all of this in a flash from over the shoulder of who was carrying me like a sack of potatoes. The next thing I knew, I was flung down to the floor with a sharp pain in my back and my arms were quickly tied together at the wrists and my legs bound the same way. I didn't have time to struggle or say anything . . .it all happened so fast . . .
I was picked up again in a flurry of movement and tossed somewhere new this time. I opened my eyes again after closing them in advance to the pain I was going to receive from being thrown on the hard, stone floor again and saw huge tanks of some sort of pinkish-red water surrounding me. The huge tanks of the water bubbled and issued a light glow that engulfed the room I was now lying in. I held my breath in shock and fear from seeing all of this before me. What is this place?
"Now, now, little Winry . . .there's no need to be afraid . . .trust me, this won't hurt a bit . . ." I looked up to see Ed's 'mother' looming over me, that sweet smile vanished from her face and was replaced with an evil grin. I knew this wasn't her! This is all a trick! Ed! Snap out of it! I silently screamed over at Edward who stood in the background, staring down at me like he didn't even know who I was.
"What are you gonna do to me?" I screamed out quickly, my voice suddenly recovered. She only grinned wider and bent down so that her face was closer to mine. She grabbed my chin and forcefully pulled it up so I was staring her straight in the eyes. Just then, I saw the face of another flash across her's and I gasped out loudly.
"But not knowing is all the fun, am I right, little girl?" she asked me, her voice growing colder and colder by each word she was saying. Her eyes switched from brown to purple in a second and she let go of me, dropping me back to the ice-cold floor. She stood back to her feet and walked over to Ed, placing her arms around him and leading him over to where I was lying. She pulled her hand through his long gold hair that was lying all over his shoulders and smirked at me even more evilly than before.
"Besides, you wouldn't want Edward here to think that you can't do anything without him, right? Isn't that what you want him to think? That you don't need to depend on him for everything? But you do, don't you? You can't live three days without him waiting on your every need and—"
"SHUT UP! I KNOW YOU'RE NOT REALLY ED'S MOTHER! THIS IS ALL A TRICK! SNAP OUTTA IT, ED! DON'T LISTEN TO—"
A hard object came in contact with the side of my head and I rolled onto my back, staring up at the ceiling and my head throbbing in pain. The huge face of a creepy, distorted man—no, creature—loomed above me, grinning hungrily down at me. I gasped out again and tried to squirm away from it, but I only hit something behind me. I tilted my head back to see a tall woman with long black hair standing above me, smirking. I tried to move away from her in all of my panic, but she only grabbed my hair and pulled me back to her. I cried out in pain as I got dragged across the floor by my long blonde hair.
"Oh my . . .and where do you think you're going?" she asked me in a silky voice, mocking me with a pout. My eyes began to brim with tears as I stared up at her in fear and noticed how her eyes looked. They were completely solid red except for long black slits in them like cats' eyes. She can't be human . . .what are these things!
"EDWARD! PLEASE! LISTEN TO ME! DON'T LISTEN TO ANYTHING THEY'RE SAYING! IT'S ALL LIES! DON'T—"
"Didn't I tell you to be quiet, little one?" the woman asked me roughly and hit me across the head sharply. I rolled over on my side and curled up in a ball and began sobbing. My heart was pounding out of control and I couldn't even feel my mind anymore. I felt like I was in a dream, but the pain was so real. Ed . . .I know I don't want you to think i'm helpless . . .but please help me . . .I need you . . .have you forgotten about me?
"Now . . .Edward, darling, remember what I told you? You may begin . . ." Ed's 'mother' directed to him, her voice back to being sweet as honey as she motioned for him to walk over to me. Ed stepped slowly to me, his eyes still fixed directly on me and not blinking at all. I almost backed away from him in fear, but my muscles suddenly refused to move. I stayed frozen as he neared me and slowly kneeled down in front of me, facing me. I stared up at his beautiful face, trying to find some sort of look of understanding or realization. But . . .no . . .he still had nothing on him . . .nothing at all . . .
"Edward . . .what are you . . .?" I began, but stopped when he looked up at the tanks surrounding me, his face still unreadable. Edward . . .my Edward . . .what's wrong with you . . .? His gaze switched back to me and I felt the tears start to rise in my eyes again. I could hear my heart pounding and I'm sure that everyone else in the room could hear it too . . .Why won't you talk to me . . .?
"Please . . .snap out of this . . ." I whispered silently as warm tears spilled out of my eyes and ran down my cheeks, landing on my hands bound by my face. My whole body began to shudder involuntarily as the tears continued to roll out of my eyes in a continuous movement like waterfalls. " . . .I'm so scared . . ." I managed to whisper roughly from behind my choking tears. Edward didn't seem to do anything at all to my silent pleas. I wanted him to hold me and tell me everything's all right . . .but he couldn't . . .this isn't him. This is not him at all. Is this it, then? Is this how it ends? Am I really going to die at the hands of the man I love? Will we never get to experience love like it was supposed to be? Will I never get to see everybody again? Is this how it's going to be?
"I don't know if you can hear me . . .but I love you . . .I love you so much! I don't want to never see you again! I want to stay with you forever! I love you, Ed! I love you!" I shouted, the tears spilling constantly out of my eyes as I yelled out my secrets that burned a hole in my heart. My whole body shivered with sobs and I closed my eye shut in advance of knowing what was to come next. I heard a loud clap and squeezed my eyes shut tighter. "Is this what we were supposed to become?" I asked him softly; suddenly remembering something that he said a couple of days ago after we were done fighting. I opened my eyes and I thought I saw a slight lift to his dark features for a second, but it was so unnoticeable that I could hardly see a difference. He still held his hands together in preparation for alchemy, but he didn't do anything more to it.
"You said . . .that we have become 'what we were supposed to be' . . .is this what we're supposed to be? Answer me, Edward . . .is this how it's supposed to be?" I continued, staring up at him through blurred vision. I could hardly see his face through my tears, but I knew that I did see his eyes turn back to normal and the lowering of his hands.
"No . . .no . . .it's not . . ." he suddenly whispered, his voice full of confusion and sorrow. I closed my eyes again, but not in fear this time . . .I closed them in happiness and relief. The last of the tears rolled down my cheeks and lay on my already soaked hands. Arms quickly scooped me up, but not forcefully like when I was being carried, but gently and comfortingly. I pressed my face into Ed's warm chest and sobbed silently into his soft black shirt as he held me there in his arms, resting his chin on the top of my head.
"This is all touching and everything, but you two do realize that we're not gonna just let you go, right?" I looked up from Ed and saw a short guy standing in the place where Ed's 'mother' was with spiky, dark hair and light purple eyes. He had his arms folded across his chest and stood in the middle of the tall woman and the fat creature, with a wide smirk on his face. Ed suddenly tore away from me and stood to his feet quickly, almost knocking me over again.
"ENVY!" he hollered furiously at the one in the middle. The one called 'Envy' smirked even more and sniggered slightly.
"That's me."
"YOU BASTARD! YOU DID THIS TO ME!" Ed shouted at the top of his voice to the person in front of him who casually looked at his hand with a smirk. He looked up at Ed and grinned.
"You're too gullible, Elric. Haven't you learned yet that everything really isn't what it seems?" Envy reprimanded him coolly. Ed seethed with anger; his fists clenched to his sides in fury and his golden eyes fixed on Envy in a deep glare. Envy only smiled at him.
"I'M SO SICK OF HEARING YOUR VOICE!" Ed yelled and leapt right at Envy, but the woman on his right suddenly extended her fingers into razors and blocked Ed's path. I stared in horror at those fingers. What are these things?
Ed moved away from the finger blockade and back over to me. I gazed up at him, wanting to say something to him, but I found that my mouth was too dry to even say a word. The woman pulled back those fingers and smiled.
"We need the stone. You're going to make that stone for us whether you like it or not," the woman with long black hair stated matter-of-factly. Ed cringed for a moment, then stood his ground, a determined look dawning on his face. Seeing him so serious like this surprised me. I haven't seen that look in his eyes for the longest time. A thought suddenly came across my mind. Could these be the homunculi Edward was telling me about?
"Envy and Lust . . .they broke his seal when you were gone . . .they did it right in front of my eyes . . .I tried to help him . . .but . . .I couldn't . . .
I gasped out quietly when the memory of us sitting on the couch appeared in my head. My body began to shake all over again, as I lay on the cold floor, still bound. Just thinking about being in the same room as the killers of one of my best friends and Edward's younger brother sent chills up and down my spine. I had heard about these things before . . .but I've never seen them in my life. Envy . . .and Lust . . .who's that other one, then?
"I won't give it to you if it means killing somebody!" Ed shouted back, taking a step towards the group of people standing in the shadows. Envy tsked under his breath and smirked once more.
"Elric, Elric, Elric . . .we asked you nicely . . .and now you leave us no other choice . . .we'll have to use force on you."
Ed glanced quickly down at me, and then back up at Envy, Lust and the other person. They didn't do anything at first, much to my relief, but then Lust shot out her fingers and jammed them into a nearby wall. Deep cracks grew up from the puncture and pieces of rock started to crumble down to the floor. I watched uneasily as the cracks grew wider and wider and I could tell from the way Ed was staring at it that he also felt nervous.Envy smirked at both of us.
"We really hate to do this to you two . . .but . . ." Envy said sarcastically as Lust pulled the fingers quickly out of the wall and the whole wall came crashing down in a cloud of smoke and a roar of sound. Ed leaped over to me and ripped off my bindings as quickly as he could as more walls began to topple down around us. As soon as the last rope was off, he pulled me to my feet and took off in a sprint to the door, holding onto my hand. I tripped over piles of stones, but he wouldn't slow down. He reached the door and flung it open, turning down the alley and into the street. Just as we left the building, I turned around slightly to see the whole thing come crashing down and the three figures of the homunculi standing in the midst of the rubble. I didn't have time to observe anything else because Ed was still pulling me along without any mercy. From over by the ruins, I heard Envy's voice echo in the night, finishing his previous sentence:
" . . .we just like to see you run . . ."
K-c
