Whew! Man, Dib is really difficult to write for. It's hard to get that right mix of desperate desire, determination and intelligence. I hope my efforts weren't supremely bad. Hope ya'll enjoy!
Chapter 5: Unfun and Games
Back at Zim's base, Gir sat on the couch in his green doggie outfit, holding a fan of cards in his paws. On the other side of the couch was a furry lump of an aardvark wearing a Mexican hat and also having a set of cards before him.
"Do you have any MEEEEEEEAT?" Gir asked, peering at his lethargic opponent. The aardvark merely blinked lazily. "Go fish!" cried Gir, exploding into a fit of insane giggling.
At that moment, Zim walked into the living room from the kitchen. "Gir!" he exclaimed, "I have completed my preliminary studies of the strange power signature. It is most troubling."
Zim began to pace, his hands folded behind his back. Gir didn't appear to notice or care. "After calculating the trajectory of the unknown craft from the little data I had collected before, I sent a small probe out to investigate. While there were quite a lot of weenies to be found, there was no tell-tale smoking crater of doom. Or any signs of destruction for that matter." Zim suddenly stopped his pacing and whirled towards his robotic companion, "Do you know what this means, Gir?"
Gir gasped in surprise and horror, launching himself from the couch. "Oh no! OH NO!" screamed the robot, "ICE CREAM!" In a panic, Gir began running around in circles, screaming his little head off.
Zim just stared blankly for a moment before sighing heavily. "No, Gir. It means that whoever or whatever that signature was didn't crash here or was forced to land. Which means they must have come here on purpose!"
"Chocolate sprinkles! CHOCOLATE SPRINKLES!!" Gir continued screaming.
"Yes," Zim continued, ignoring the small robot and narrowing his eyes dangerously, "It seems we have some... competition. But who?"
"I have a good feeling about this, Gaz," Dib stated excitedly as he readied a presentation on Zim in front of the big TV, "Finally, I think I'm going to find someone who believes me!"
Gaz clenched her teeth in irritation. "I'm trying to play Super Cherry Deathrace XR," she stated dangerously, "And your giant head is blocking my view of the Artichoke Armageddon. Go. Away. NOW."
Dib wasn't listening. "Imagine! I will finally have a partner in my lonely quest. And if there's one, there's probably more! Yes! Soon there will be an entire city of people who will believe Zim is an alien!"
"She doesn't think Zim is an alien," Gaz noted sourly, "She just said she'd keep an open mind. That's assuming she even comes here and wasn't scared away by your weirdness."
"Maybe she doesn't think so now," Dib replied, grinning broadly, "But I've carefully gathered enough evidence that I think I can convince someone who doesn't need much real proof."
"Whatever," Gaz muttered darkly, "Just move now, Dib, unless you wish to face my cherry-induced wrath."
Just then the doorbell rang and Dib went to go answer it, mercifully avoiding Gaz's wrath. Vim stood there, looking about the Membrane yard suspiciously.
"Great! You're here!" Dib exclaimed, "I knew you weren't like all the rest. Come in... Vim, right?"
"Yes," Vim replied, stepping into the house and peering around the room curiously, "I am Vim. A, uh... nice house you have here."
"Thanks," Dib replied, motioning over to the large TV that dominated the living room, "I prepared a presentation on everything I know about Zim. I'm sure, after you see it, you will agree that he's an alien."
"We shall see," Vim replied, eyes locking on Gaz, "Who's that?"
"Oh, that's just my sister. She occasionally helps me with my paranormal studies. Just ignore her for now."
Gaz gritted her teeth again, glaring daggers at her brother, "Need I remind you? Cherry wrath, Dib. Cherry wrath."
Vim stared blankly before looking back over at Dib, "Hey, what is your last name, anyway?"
"Oh! Right, I guess I haven't told you," Dib replied with a smile, "It's --"
"Son!" interrupted a floating screen with a picture of Professor Membrane, "You are required IN THE KITCHEN!"
Dib sighed, shaking his head, "Rats. Okay, Vim, I'll be right back. Just make yourself at home, okay? Then when I get back, man! You are going to listen to SUCH presentation!" Dib ran off in the direction of the kitchen, leaving Vim standing there.
For a few quiet moments, Vim just stood watching the flashing images of cars shaped like various fruits and vegetables on the screen, careening into masses of firey death. The carnage bore an amazing resemblance to the training simulators she used in boot camp.
"What's that?" Vim asked, pointing to the device in Gaz's hand.
"A video game controller," Gaz muttered.
"Video... game?" Vim asked, arching an eyebrow, "As in... this thing is some kind of entertainment?"
"Yes."
Vim paused briefly, watching Gaz as she tore up the other fruit cars. "... Can I play?"
Gaz stopped and opened one eye fully, slowly turning a murderous look to the other girl.
In the other room, Professor Membrane was deep in an important experiment. He dutifully took copious notes as a shaved poodle stood on one leg and spun plates. Dib was nonplussed at the scene when he arrived.
"Dad, I'm here. What is it?"
"Ah, good, son!" Professor Membrane stated turning his attention away from the poodle and towards his big headed child, "I noticed that you brought a little friend over today. Clearly this is a good sign that your MASSIVE INSANITY is in remission and you will soon take up Real Science. As a result, I am increasing your allowance by twenty-eight point FOUR percent!"
"Wow! Thanks, Dad!"
"There is more!" Professor Membrane declared, raising a gloved hand dramatically, "As a special treat, you may choose tonight's dinner."
"I can't tonight, Dad," Dib said hurriedly, "I have to make a presentation about the alien to Vim! It will take several hours, so I'm going to just skip dinner tonight."
"Hmm," mused the labcoated senior, "It seems you are still quite mad. But at least things do seem to be looking up! Perhaps talking about your demented 'parascience' with your friend will help further."
"Yeah, well... I better get back to her before she decides to make a run for it," Dib replied turning and running back to the living room.
Professor Membrane looked after the big headed boy and sighed, shaking his head as he returned to the plate-spinning poodle, "My poor insane son."
A cry of shock and surprise was pulled from Dib's lips as he reentered the living room. There was Gaz and Vim, both sitting on the couch, each with a controller in their hands and playing the Cherry Deathrace game. Gaz was quiet and concentrated while Vim was considerably more animated. Still, it was clear by the score on the screen that Gaz was stomping Vim.
"What are you doing?!" Dib cried out, running towards the pair, "The alien! THE ALIEN!"
Vim passed an annoyed look to Dib, but sighed. Yes, she was having a blast, but she did have a mission. "Well, I better listen to your brother now," she stated in disappointment to Gaz.
"If his voice ends up burrowing into your brain, there are cyanide pills in the bathroom cupboard," Gaz replied matter-of-factly.
"Thanks, I..." Vim's voice faded off as a confused expression appeared on her features, "Wait, why do you have a deadly toxin in your medicine cabinet?"
Gaz merely shrugged. "Y'know... you're not bad. With some practice you could be pretty good. When Dib inevitably makes you want to jab sharp objects in his eyes, you're still free to come over and play some video games with me." That said, Gaz unplugged her GameSlave 2 from the large television and walked off.
Dib laughed uncomfortably, "Sorry about that. My sister just sometimes doesn't understand that the fate of the world is in the balance here."
"Right, whatever," Vim muttered, already missing the game as she settled back on the couch as Dib set up and began a slideshow.
"Okay, exhibit 'A': Zim's 'skin condition'..."
