A Broken Spirit

The sky was clear, stars shining bright. Goku lay in the lush grass by himself, 'The moon is so big…' he thought slightly grinning soaking up the beauty of it all, this thoughts for a moment pausing. In the corner of his eyes he could see the treetops, which surrounded the area. A nice forest opening along the road they traveled on.

"Goku…?" A voice asked as slow, soft moving footsteps neared. Hakkai appeared into his view, his shadow shielding his face from the glowing moon's light. "Can't sleep?" Hakkai asked taking a seat beside him. Goku's gaze followed as the slightly shaded figure stilled glancing upwards at the same stars.

Goku sat up and looked at his feet, now poking out from behind his knees as he sat. His face was slightly buried in his knees his arms placed on them and about his face, hiding his expression.

Hakkai didn't need to see the saddened and slightly discomforted expression his face made, his eyes said it all. "Hey, Goku…?" Hakkai asked with more of a serious face now. "Yea?" Goku muttered into his folded arms. "Are you…" Hakkai paused feeling slightly uneasy. "Are you okay?" He added. Goku nodded; "Fine…" he lied muttering again.

Hakkai gave a more worried look now. Not only had Goku turned down food, but he hadn't eaten anything in a couple of days. Both Sanzo and Gojyo had noticed his whining had stopped and was mostly quiet. Keeping to himself, not showing more then a grin of amusement when Gojyo would catch Sanzo's bad side.

Hakkai sighed. "Come have some leftovers…" Hakkai stood up and placed a hand out to help Goku. Goku stared blankly at the hand. He gave it a hateful glare seeing something but relaxed as the view of a simple hand reappeared. "I'm not… hungry…" Goku muttered. He wasn't sure why. Could it have been that the sight of a whole town being slaughtered and not able to do anything. It was more of a daze really… He saw claws covered in blood, his hands covered in blood. Women, children and men sprawled out and about the streets of the town. It wasn't his fault, yet it was… all of it confused him.

'I killed them… all of them…' the thought rang through Goku's head and his stomach turned. Tears nearly lifted to his eyes but he just buried his head into his arms.

Hakkai's eyes shone in the moonlight. He could see Goku's pain clearly. 'If only we arrived sooner…' Hakkai thought turning and walking away, 'we shouldn't have left him alone…' Hakkai paused. "If you get hungry just ask okay, Goku?" Hakkai peered back at the boy glaring at the moon again.

'Yeah, sure…' Goku's thoughts said; he didn't have much energy in him so he didn't bother to reply. 'Too lazy…' he thought again moving forward to his right to lie down. He faced away from Hakkai as he closed his eyes, 'so tired…' he thought as he started to lose himself in a daze.

Hakkai sighed and wished Goku would have fallen asleep closer to the campfire. He decided to leave him there for now. 'Maybe Sanzo could…' Hakkai thought but a slightly fake smile came to his face thinking of Sanzo's reaction to such a request.

The glow of two cigarettes and the fire loomed about the men's faces as Hakkai wandered back to the warmth produced from the dancing flames. He sat down with a heavy sigh, plopping himself down beside Gojyo.

"Monkey still doesn't want anything?" Gojyo asked with a puff of smoke.

Sanzo grunted in slight disgust.

Hakkai's eyes gave a stern glare at Sanzo and Gojyo as to tell them this wasn't the time, "No…" he replied and ruffled in the few bags they had piled to the side. Hakkai pulled out a pale yellow blanket. He glanced in Goku's direction and placed the folded blanket in his lap. He turned away then ruffled about some more through the bags; stopping once he had the right equipment. Hakkai made a bed the size of the other three that lay in a circle about the fire.

Sanzo stood without warning, tossing his cigarette down then stepping on it with a twisting motion from his ankle. Gojyo had tossed him a glance but sidetracked to the flickering of the fire. Hakkai glanced over at Sanzo as he started to make his way to Goku. A small smile on his face appeared, 'I'm sure Sanzo will make him eat something… he does look a little… worried at least…' he sighed fixing Goku a bed.

'What a nuisance…' Sanzo thought with a grunt walking at a steady pace. He paused as he stood over Goku. His deep violet eyes scanned the finally peaceful face of the boy. He sighed with a mere mutter and bent down, picking the boy up. He turned around still looking at the boy. 'He's lighter…' Sanzo's thoughts started to worry 'and cold…' he sighed making his way back to the warmth of the fire.

Hakkai opened up the neatly finished bed that he made for Goku as Sanzo placed the small boy in it. The golden headband flickered in the fire's light. Sanzo took a moment to look him over with almost a trace of uneasiness in his expression. Hakkai covered Goku's still body and took to his own bed, Sanzo taking a seat closer to Goku then his bed.

Gojyo had crawled into bed and lay there staring at the sky; he had nodded off some time before Hakkai, leaving Sanzo to finish his third cigarette within the past few hours. All was quiet when Sanzo stood, stepping on his cigarette's dull glow. Sanzo looked from Goku to the fire.

It was dying out by now. Sanzo gathered some more wood and threw them on top of the fire, causing it to rise a bit. Goku moved slightly as he seemed to be having a bad dream. There was a good chance he was dreaming of that rainy day in town. Sanzo sighed and looked at the boy with almost saddened eyes. He knew that little monkey felt bad for what he did. Heck, he didn't even have any real control over the situation.

With out giving it an other thought he crawled into his own bed and stared at the stars until he finally nodded off, all four of them in a near peaceful sleep.