Sniff, sniff. You love me! You really love me! Thanks again for all your wonderful reviews! It does my dark, embittered heart good.

In response to Gamefan... no, I don't think this will turn into a lame romance. IF there is any romance, it will be of the decidedly twisted and Zim-like variety.

Onto the fic!


Chapter 6: Dinner With Dib

"And then he tried to turn me into baloney! I still remember the horrible dogs. I was clued in on his plan when I noticed I was incredibly delicious."

Vim sat on the couch, a faint line of drool falling from her mouth, her blue eyes at odd angles. Dib kept talking, pointing out various 'exhibits' proving Zim's alienitude. He was now on Exhibit CDF.

At first, Vim had tried to listen, keeping careful notes as the big headed boy rambled. While she had learned some interesting information, the boredom had managed to get to her over the intervening three hours. She desperately wanted to go and get those cyanide pills.

"Dib, stop," Vim stated weakly, "Stop, for all that is good and decent in the universe, please stop."

Dib did indeed stop, blinking in surprise, "Is something wrong, Vim?"

"Can't we take a break? Please?" Vim was almost pleading.

Dib considered. "Hmm, well, okay. I guess I am kinda hungry. I think Bloaty's is still open. I could order a pizza?"

Vim's eye twitched spasmodically. She had enough of this horrible earth food at Skool. "Uhm, no thanks," she muttered, taking out the box of ToastSnax(tm) that Rid had given her. Bless that little robot for making her take a snack.

"You don't like pizza?" Dib asked, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. What kind of kid didn't like pizza?

Vim was stunned for a moment as she struggled to come up with an excuse. "Uhm, it's not that. I love pizza! I just, uh... have a lot of food allergies. Yeah. Food allergies. So I have to watch what I eat."

"Food allergies?" Dib questioned suspiciously. After a moment's pause, the large headed child shrugged, "Okay. Man, that must be a pain."

"It sure is," Vim stated, digging into the box and pulling out a handful of the small swirled squares and stuffing them into her mouth. She gave a sigh of bliss.

"Hey, what are those?" Dib asked, pointing to the ToastSnax(tm) box, "I don't think I've seen that brand before. Or even that snack."

"Oh, um... I think they're local to where I used to live," Vim replied. It was true, after all. "My parents get some for me when they're traveling and stuff."

Dib nodded in sympathy. "So your parents are away a lot too, huh? I know how that is. My Dad is usually away at the lab. Can I have some of those?"

Vim paused, looking down at the box then back at Dib. She really didn't know how the alien snacks would react with the earthling's body chemistry. It could kill him... or worse. "Sure!" she replied cheerfully, offering Dib the box.

"Thanks!" Dib stated with a smile as he took out a handful of the out-of-this-world treat and popped them in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. "Mm, not bad."

Vim was mildly disappointedly. She was hoping he'd explode, or maybe have his head shrunk or something. Or well. "What does your father do for a living?"

"He's Professor Membrane!" Dib replied, chest swelling with pride. Vim just stared blankly.

"The Professor Membrane."

More blank staring.

Once again, Dib's suspicions were aroused, "Oh, come on. Surely you know Professor Membrane? The world's greatest scientist? He has the television show?"

"Oh, yes! Of course! That Professor Membrane" Vim exclaimed, trying to cover up her ignorance. It figures. The lunatic had a famous father. "Sorry, I must be tired. First day of skool and all."

"Yeah, I guess it is getting kinda late," Dib replied, looking over at a clock in the shape of his father, "Okay, we can continue this tomorrow, I guess. Maybe I'll show you Tak's ship."

Vim was already halfway to the door. Continue? Tomorrow? HA! Like that would ever happen. The boy was obviously insane, even IF Zim really was an alien. She stopped mid-step then whirled around on Dib.

"Tak's ship? As in the other alien you mentioned with the weenie stand? That Tak? You... you have an alien vessel?"

"Yeah," Dib replied, nodding, "I thought I mentioned that."

In an instant, Vim was on Dib, gripping the lapels of his trenchcoat and shaking him violently, "WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS THIS IRKEN SHIP! I MUST SEE IT!"

Dib pulled himself away with effort and looked at Vim like she had lobsters crawling out of her ears. "Geez! What's wrong with you? It's in my garage. This way..."

Dib led the way out to the garage and turned on the light, motioning to the large dark purple ship that dominated the scene.

Vim's eyes grew wide. Modern Irken technology! Right here, at her fingertips! Suddenly, she whirled on Dib, "Dib! I believe you! I wasn't sure at first, but after seeing this, I am convinced."

If smiles could kill, Dib's would have leveled several cities. "Yes! I knew it! I knew you'd believe me! And together, we can expose the hideous demon from the stars! We'll save mankind!"

"Yes, yes, it will be magical," Vim stated dismissively, drawing her hands over the ship, "It's damaged, but probably still repairable. Dib, let me borrow this alien vessel for a few, uh... tests."

Dib narrowed his eyes again, "Sorry, Vim. It's mine. No offense or anything, but how do I know you wouldn't just try and take all the fame for discovering aliens for yourself? Besides, you seem awfully interested in this. Much more so than you should be."

"You insolent, grragh!!" Vim clenched her fists and choked off a string of insults, forcibly calming herself. "Okay, Dib, you win. We do this together. Tomorrow I'll come over with my gerbil and we'll see what we can figure out."

"Great!" Dib stated with a grin, "Welcome aboard, partner! Wait... why do you need to bring your gerbil to look at an alien spacecraft?"

"It helps me think," the alien girl stated in reply, turning on her heel and heading out, "See you at skool tomorrow, Dib. Zim will certainly fall before our combined might!"