Chapter 7: Glitch

"Fascinating," the middle computer stated thoughtfully, looking down on an undisguised Vim bathed in white light, "So these 'video games' look like training simulators? Yet they're some form of entertainment?"

"Yes, Council," Vim replied, folding her claws behind her back.

"Amazing!" said the left computer, "Clearly the Irkens were wise to choose this planet for invading."

"Indeed," affirmed the right computer, "Nearly an entire planetary population raised from birth with military level training? They would have a massive army of expendable shock troops to take difficult worlds!"

Vim hesitated, shifting uneasily on her cilia, "While I would never question the Council's wisdom... I feel you may be in error here. From my own observations, the humans are, with a few exceptions, quite stupid."

"Even better!" chimed in the middle computer, "Stupid, expendable shock troops would never question your orders, no matter how insane or suicidal! I can see why these Irkens have conquered a third of the galaxy."

Vim looked over at a chronometer and saluted smartly. "Sirs! I'm afraid I have to cut communication channels now. I have to leave for this horrible 'skool' thing."

"Wow," said the right computer in faint awe, "Early exposure to such tortures as this 'skool' you described ensures that the humans will be able to handle any form of interrogation. Truly, a brilliant strategy."

"Yes!" stated the middle computer, "Surely these humans are perfect for military exploitation. But we shouldn't keep our good soldier from her research. Keep up the good work, Vim!"

"End of Line," all three computers stated as the lights dimmed and the holographic chamber fizzled out to reveal Vim's living room. The alien girl grunted and turned towards Rid who was busy making toast.

"Rid! You should be ready to leave for the large-skulled one's house when I come back this afternoon. And no more toast."

"Okay!" Rid replied cheerfully, as she set about pressing the handle down on the toaster.

Vim shook her head and pressed a button on the watch on her wrist. Instantly, her disguise formed around her and she turned on her heel, heading for the door.

"Good morning, Gaz!" Dib stated with unusual cheerfulness as he entered the kitchen.

Gaz made an annoyed grunt sound as she poured a bowl of Count Cocofang cereal.

"Things are really looking up for me," Dib said as he hopped in a chair, "I finally have an ally in my battle against evils from space!" Dib's face darkened somewhat, "But... something didn't seem right about Vim. I mean... she didn't seem to know who Dad was. And that excuse about being allergic to foods sounded suspiciously Zim-like."

Gaz glared at her brother. "Oh, so now you're going to say Vim is an alien too?" she asked sarcastically, jamming a spoon full of chocolaty goodness into her mouth.

A worried expression crossed Dib's features. Could it be? "Well. Actually. That would explain a few things. She was really interested in Tak's ship, too. And there was that whole attacking me thing..."

"That last one sounds pretty normal to me."

Dib hesitated then grinned broadly. "You're right, Gaz!" he declared, "I've finally found someone who believes me! I can't let some silly paranoia ruin this chance."

Gaz made a noncommittal grunt in response.

Dib reached for the Cocofang then stopped suddenly, glancing at a clock. "Oh no, Gaz! We're going to be late!"

Vim tapped a foot irritably. Where was Dib? It was almost class time! She glanced over at Ms. Bitters who was apparently quite asleep then sighed, drumming her fingers on her desk. Suddenly she heard an alarming beep from her watch and holoprojector. She glanced down and stared in horror.

There, in large, friendly letters was the message: "Error: Reboot in 5... 4.... 3..."

Vim looked around in panic. Everyone would see her as she really was! Accursed alien technology! Thinking fast, Vim pointed to the window, "Everyone, look! A huge distracting thing!"

Like lemmings, all the class turned towards the window just as Vim's disguise melted away.

Everyone, that is, except for Zim.

Glowing blue eyes stared back at poorly done contacts for several beats before Vim's watch chirped again and her human form rematerialized.

"Hey! I don't see anything distracting!" Torque Smacky said with a frown.

"Oops! I guess it was something in my eye," Vim replied cheerily, casting a sidelong look at Zim.

For his own part, Zim looked quite shocked and was pointing an accusatory finger at the blonde. "IT IS YOU! You're the one! The energy signature!" he shrieked, standing up on his desk, "I should have known the filthy Dib-smelly would be involved! You are his disgusting pig-buddy are you not?!"

The class stared at Zim, then looked to Vim. "You're friends with Dib?" Zita asked, arching an eyebrow, "Eeww, that's not cool."

Zim glared at Vim and she glared back. Briefly, Zim considered trying to expose her to the class, but quickly dismissed that idea. Filthy earth larvae. Even with the mighty superior perceptions of Zim, they'd probably be unable to fathom the alien in their midsts. Besides, it might give them ideas about Dib being right... that was something he couldn't afford.

Just then, Dib staggered inside, panting heavily. "Sorry... I'm late. The skool minefields... hard to dodge."

Suddenly, Ms. Bitters arose from her slumber and snarled at Dib, "Dib! You're late! As punishment, you have to clean the blackboard with your tongue. Go! I will be timing you."

"Man, not even the skool lunch is getting the taste of that blackboard out of my mouth," Dib complained as he sat next to his sister during lunch. Gaz was already deeply engrossed in a game and merely growled in reply.

Vim had brought a packed lunch today and hesitated before going over to sit with Dib. With a sigh, she resigned herself to her fate and sat down on the other side of Gaz. At least she could watch as the purple haired girl played.

"So!" boomed a voice from behind the three, "I see you have enlisted other planetary help, human rat!"

Dib glanced over his shoulder and glared at the speaker. "Zim! What do you want?"

"It's no use trying to cover up, Dib," Zim sneered, "I know all about your extraterrestrial attempts to get help. But it won't do you any good. You can't POSSIBLY fathom my deep and involving plans!"

Dib peered oddly at Zim. He was acting crazier than usual, "What are you talking about, Zim?"

Zim clenched his teeth and pointed to Vim, who was so deeply engrossed in watching Gaz play, that she didn't notice the other two argue. "Her, you fetid beast! I know what she really is! And it won't help you. Do you hear me?!"

Dib was becoming more and more confused, looking between Vim and Zim. "What?"

Zim paused, eyes narrowing dangerously. "You mean you don't know?" he said questioningly. Suddenly, he began to laugh, the sound growing in intensity and volume with each passing minute.

"What are you talking about, Zim?!" Dib demanded, standing up and facing his arch nemesis.

"Use your smelly think-meats, Dib-beast!" Zim sneered, pointing to Vim, "She is not human. She is not of this earth! Need I enlighten you further?!"

Dib blinked, eyes going wide as he looked towards Vim. Was it true? No, it couldn't be! "You're lying, Zim!"

"Am I?" Zim asked smugly, "Are you so stupid that you'd fall for the same thing twice? Remember Tak, hmm?"

Dib's resolve faltered. Tak. She had fooled him too. Could it really be? The young paranormal investigator turned a suddenly suspicious look towards Vim who still seemed blissfully ignorant of the conversation going on just a few centimeters away. Dib steeled himself and shook is head. "No! I don't believe it! You're lying, Zim! You're shaking in your boots because you know that if there's one person who believes me, there's likely to be more!"

"You DARE suggest that Zim's mighty footwear trembles?!" Zim roared before snorting and casting a dismissive wave with his gloved hand, "Bah! It doesn't matter. I'll defeat you both, whether you believe me or not. So says the mighty ZIM!" The little Irken Invader posed dramatically.

It was then that Zim noticed the audience he had garnered. "Um... I'm normal!" he shouted before beating a hasty retreat back to his usual lunchroom seat, glaring at the small group nearby.

"Ha," Dib said triumphantly, crossing his arms over his chest, "Leave it to Zim to try and break up a tight team like us. Right, Vim?"

Vim finally looked up and blinked at Dib, "Eh, what? Sorry, I wasn't listening. Your voice makes me want to stab you in the face repeatedly then feed the remains to a wall."

Dib just stared, not quite sure how to take that statement.