Touched by an Angel

Chapter 2- Musings

Lei rushed frantically into the hospital and the door slammed behind him. A few passing nurses gave him glares and an old lady gasped and muttered something about nowadays teens. But Lei didn't care. All he wanted to do was find her...

The past half hour had passed with a blur. The paramedics had arrived shortly after the accident. One of the men had told him that they were taking the girl to a nearby hospital. Lei had rushed into his car and followed them but of course the ambulance was faster than him and he had lost them. After numerous wrong turns he had finally found the hospital.

He approached the counter. The nurse there was on the phone and was shouting something about cheating jerks then she slammed it down and cursed under her breath. She was obviously having a fight with her partner.

"Excuse me," said Lei politely, "I'm looking for a patient-"

"Last name?" asked the nurse rudely, not even bothering to look up.

With sudden shock Lei realised that he had forgotten the girl's family name. He remembered she was called Shan Cai. But what was her last name?

"I'm sorry, but I have forgotten her-"

"What kind of disease?" asked the nurse impatiently, eyes on her computer.

"Not disease. Car accident... brought in just recently, around ten minutes or more ago."

"You need the emergency centre. Go from here and take the third corridor to the right," replied the nurse briskly.

"Thanks," said Lei, but the nurse already turned away from him.

Lei ran along the corridor and took the third turning. As he approached the doors to the emergency room, a doctor came out. Worried, Lei rushed up to him and asked how the patient was doing.

The doctor looked shocked. "Hua Ze Lei shao ye, what are you doing here?"

"I ran over... never mind. Tell me how the surgery went."

The doctor shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry shao ye, but there was nothing we could do."

Lei's eyes widened. "What do you mean, there was nothing you could do?" he asked accusingly.

"Too much blood was lost. It was too late."

"So that's it?" Lei suddenly felt as heavy as lead. He had killed someone. He had killed Shancai. He was a murderer.

"We tried our best."

Lei stumbled backwards and fell onto a seat. She had died. He couldn't believe it. It can't be true. What kind of joke was fate playing on him? He sunk down, face buried in his hands. "It's all my fault," he whispered. The doctor looked sympathetically in his direction.

"Hua Ze Lei shao ye, I don't know how you came to know him. But there's no one to blame for this death. By driving so fast whilst being drunk... he was seeking death."

Lei's head snapped up. "He? Him? Drunk driver?"

The doctor nodded. "Yes... it is rather a pity..."

But Lei wasn't listening. He was ecstatic. It wasn't Shan Cai. The person who had died wasn't Shan Cai. It was some drunk driver! But where was Shan Cai then?

"Did a girl my age who was injured in a car crash arrive at hospital with the paramedics... say ten minutes ago?" asked Lei, interrupting the doctor's ramblings.

The doctor was shocked to silence for a few seconds. Then he replied, "Yes... I think so. Yes. There was one. Pretty little young thing she was. I don't think she was in any mortal danger. I knew the paramedic who brought her in. Nice friendly chap. Always eager to learn and willing to help. Now that's the kind of -"

"Where can I find her?" asked Lei, once again interrupting the doctor, who had an annoying habit of rambling on about nonsense.

"Find her? Hm... let me see. Yes, that's right. Room 217. Oh, that'll be a nice little tricky place for you to find. Let me tell you. First you need to go back and take the lift upstairs. Up to level 3 and then after that walk along the main corridor and take the last turn to your left. That should lead you to the exterior injury section. Then go into the second last door. You'll then be tempted to turn left because of a sign, except you need to keep going ahead. Then keep walking until you reach a set of toilets. From there, you take the third corridor to the right... wait... maybe it's the second to the right. Or was it right?"

Lei listened to his directions without a clue where he was supposed to go. Something about lift, corridors, a false sign and a lot of turns. "Could you just take me there?" he asked.

The doctor looked at him in marvel. "Why of course. Now why didn't I think of that?" he asked to no one in particular, whilst tapping his forehead.

"Here. Just follow me."

If the doctor had made one thing clear, it was that finding Room 217 was complicated. And indeed it was. Without the doctor leading the way, Lei had no doubt that he would've been lost. The doctor was much too overly enthusiastic and was chatting endlessly with him, which annoyed Lei to death. But at least he knew where he was going.

Finally after what seemed to Lei like a decade of endless blabbering, they arrived at the room. The doctor went over to call one of his colleagues who was responsible for taking care of Shan Cai. This left Lei alone in the room.

He studied Shan Cai's sleeping face. She wasn't naturally pretty. In fact, she looked rather plain compared to all the other girls at Ying De, who so lavishly dress themselves in an attempt to gain the boys' attention. But as Lei observed Shan Cai, she appealed to him. Her firm features stood out and a fierce aura burnt around her. This puzzled Lei, for the shy girl who had helped him pick up his notes did not seem to have this quality.

With a pang Lei realised that the main reason he was so curious about Shan Cai was her similarity to Jing. To others, these girls were as different as ice and fire, water and oil, heaven and hell. But Lei saw the unmistakable similarities, in nature.

Both were extremely honourable. Jing was always helping others around her, which was one of the reasons Lei loved her so much, even though at times it made him feel abandoned. And Shan Cai's deed today, jumping in front of a car to protect a small child, was that, risking your own life to save another not selfless and righteous?

Both were compassionate. Lei remembered how when he was little, Jing was the only one who treated him nicely. All the other kids around him considered him as a freak. Shancai today had helped him pick up his scattered notes when no doubt it caused her to be late for their art class.

And lastly, both had this hidden fierceness behind their caring outside. Jing was extremely stubborn and wilful. Once she had made a decision, nothing in the world could change it. Lei remembered when she had left for France, how no amount of pleading could get her to reverse her decision. She had left in the end and that was their main reason for braking up.

The sound of the door creaking open interrupted Lei's thoughts. Looking up, Lei saw that a doctor had arrived.

"Hua Ze Lei shao ye?" he murmured.

Lei nodded. "How is she?" he asked, looking at the serene face of Shan Cai.

"She's fine. There's nothing serious. She has a mild concussion and a few bruises. No signs of internal bleeding, no indications of brain damage, not even a broken bone. I'd say that she's a lucky girl. Not many people take a fall that big and still comes out with so little injuries."

"Why is she still not awake then?"

"Don' worry. She's just sleeping. She'll need plenty of rest to recover. We'll need her back in a few days just to make sure she's okay. Symptoms often only develop after a while. But I'm fairly confident that she's fine."

Lei nodded, relieved.

"Anything else, Hua Ze Lei shao ye?" the doctor asked, examining his timetable.

Lei shook his head. "Thank you, doctor. That's all."

The doctor nodded. "If anything else pops up call me." Then he left with a soft click of the door.

Lei gazed at Shan Cai. She looked so tranquil. She somehow reminded him of a fallen angel. Looking back, he barely knows this girl. Yet somehow she had touched him in such a way deep in his heart only that Jing had. Or did he only feel this way because Shan Cai reminded him so much of Jing?

Jing had been everything to Lei. She was his sister, his friend, his guardian, his mentor, his lover, his everything.

Except that one day she made herself nothing. She had told him firmly that he could not continue to rely on her. That she did not want him to grow like this. She wanted him to be himself, be his own Lei, rather than Jing's Lei. It is for the best, she had said. One day you'll find someone who you will love, and who will love you more than I ever can, or ever will.

Lei remembered that day crystal clear. It was his birthday. She had told him that she didn't love him on his birthday. He tried forgetting her. God he did. He even tried dating and flirting with girls shamelessly like Mei Zhuo and Xi Men. But he couldn't. He wasn't them. He was Lei.

He couldn't forget her.

So he gave up on love, telling himself love was a flimsy emotion the weak made up to cover their mistakes; or a pretty little element in made up fantasy realms in stories for those gullible enough to believe it. He didn't believe in it. He didn't need it.

Slowly, he had built up a wall of coldness around himself. He had felt so distant from everything, even F4. It was as if he were seeing through a third person's point of view, rather than his own eyes.

He lost himself in his own mind.

And today, seeing this girl sleep in front of him, so alike to his old love, reawakened his senses. His cold barrier seemed to melt in front of her like ice in sunlight. All the time he had thought that he had outgrown human emotions. He had thought that his shield was solid. He had thought that no one could break it down.

But he was wrong.

He had left a hole- a hole to which one might have the key. Shan Cai held a key into his heart. Into the deepest part of him, where even he did not dare to delve, in fear that he would discover that even he, the cold and impenetrable Hua Ze Lei, was also human.

Shan Cai stirred, and broke off Lei's incoherent thoughts. She rolled over and her eyes fluttered open. Anxious, Lei rushed over to her side.

"Where am I?" she whispered.

"At the hospital," replied Lei. "You were in an accident. How are you feeling?"

"Pain..." she murmured numbly, rubbing her temple.

Lei was drowned with sudden guilt. "Anything else?" he asked urgently.

"Dizzy. Sore." Shan Cai muttered with childish innocence.

Lei nodded, mentally reminding himself to recount all these symptoms to the doctor. "Do you want anything? Water maybe?"

"Who are you?" Shan Cai suddenly asked, turning her head sideways and giving him an enquiring look.

"I'm..." Lei didn't know what to say. The idiot who almost killed you? The guy you helped this morning? Some weirdo from your art class? None of them sounded very good to him.

"A friend," he finally decided.

Shan Cai nodded sleepily.

"Go back to sleep," murmured Lei as soothingly as he could.

Shan Cai nodded and closed her eyes.

Lei pulled a sheet up and covered it over Shan Cai gently.

"Thank you..." she whispered.

Lei smiled at her cuteness. She seemed so young, so naïve, so innocent.

It suddenly occurred to Lei just how fragile life really was. He could've been a killer today, and Shan Cai could be dead. It was truly a rather terrifying thought.

Lei stepped out of the room as quietly as he could, not wanting to disturb Shan Cai. He shut the door and left the hospital.

He wanted to go to bed as soon as he got home.

It had been a long day.

And Lei had a sneaky suspicion that tomorrow is going to be longer.

A/N: Wow... that was a long chappie. I hope you've enjoyed reading it. I'm not that happy with it though, I kinda dragged on with all the stuff about Lei shutting himself down. I think I was slightly like the talkative doctor in my story ; )

Please reveiw and tell me what you think! Thank you all in advance.

And please check out my other stories,

Rainless Storm /RainlessStorm/
Never Before, Never Again /Never/

Please, I'm not getting to much response for those ones, especially Rainless Storm, which I spent ages planning and writing. So I'd realy appreciate it if you could just drop by, have a little scan through, and reveiw.

Thank you all!!!!!

Have a wonderful day and I hope to hear from you ; )

Amyranth