Chapter 10: Home Invasion

Dib and Vim prepared for the coming infiltration over the week. This preparation, of course, mostly consisted of Dib undergoing strenuous physical activities while Vim played the Gameslave with Gaz.

Finally, however, it came time to enact the daring and precise plan of infiltration. Vim and Dib, both dressed in dark ninja-like clothing, arrived at the front of Zim's house, gazing at the gnome filled yard. Strangely enough, Dib's outfit also had a set of concentric rings ending in a red dot at the center on the front.

"Are you ready?" Vim asked as a dramatic wind blew a completely out of place tumble weed across her path.

"I was born ready!" Dib exclaimed, "With both of us together, we can't fail!"

Vim's eye twitched. "Just follow the plan and try not to trip over yourself or get in my way."

"Yeah, about this plan," Dib began, frowning slightly, "Why am I always referred to as 'Strategic Cannon Fodder'?"

"It's a term of endearment," Vim replied gruffly, "Come on, we're wasting time."

Dib fixed a dubious look at his companion, but let the flimsy explanation slide for the moment, instead readying himself for the break in.

"Ready... steady... go!" Vim launched herself at the yard, the gnomes immediately turning towards her, their eyes glowing red. She lept up just as they fired lasers from their eyes, the bolts of photonic death hitting Dib square in the chest. As the gnomes were occupied with the screaming and twitching Dib, Vim took the opportunity to deftly decapitate the gnomes with some swift kicks to their heads.

Dib groaned and stood up, the dot on his chest smoking, before his eyes widened and he called out, "Vim! Look out!"

Vim whirled around to see two more gnomes charging up their eye lasers. She ducked and rolled, the beams passing over her and once again hitting Dib in the chest. With an impressive array of gymnastic bounds, rolls, and flips, Vim made her way over to the other two gnomes and savagely smashed them.

Vim walked to the door unassailed and impatiently waited for Dib to drag his still smoldering body over. "Took you long enough," Vim grumbled turning fully to the door, "Okay. This is the most important part of the plan. Are you ready?" Dib merely groaned in response.

Dramatically, Vim crouched, coiling like a spring and narrowing her eyes. Suddenly, she lunged forward... and pressed the doorbell. As she waited for a response, the blonde took out a box of ToastSnax(tm). Dib managed to recover enough to stand.

Slowly, the door creaked open, revealing Gir in his green doggie suit. He merely stood there, staring up at the pair silently.

"Hello, normal human canine!" Vim stated, "We are selling delicious treats. Allow us entry so that you may partake of our offerings!"

"Intruders!" Gir exclaimed, the head of the suit unzipping to allow a cascade of menacing weaponry to pop out and zero in on the pair. Vim readied herself for a fight, but before anything happened, Dib spoke up, "Please?"

The little robot paused then stated cheerfully, "Okee dokey!" The weapons retreated and Gir walked back into the house, waving the pair of intruders inside. Vim blinked in surprise but shrugged and stepped inside, peering around the strange house cautiously. Gir moved over to the couch and hopped up on it, squeaking quietly as he stared at the television.

The screen was displaying static.

"This is my favorite shooooow!" the little doggie disguise robot cooed.

"Okay, we're in," Vim said to Dib, "You've been here before. Guide us to his lab."

"Right! This is our finest hour! We will strike a blow to Zim that he won't likely recover from at least until dinner!" Dib posed heroically for a moment then ran into the kitchen, an irritated Vim following behind.

Minutes later, the two intrepid intruders had made it into Zim's lab beneath the house. "Okay, let's just place the bug and get out of here."

Dib looked longingly at all the Irken technology that surrounded him, "Can't we just take something?"

"Not today," Vim replied with a shake of her head, "Our mission is only to place the spy equipment, nothing more."

Before Dib could protest further, a mad cackling broke through the air. "What have we here?" Zim said, stepping out of the shadows with a menacing grin on his features, wielding a nasty-looking gun, "Pathetic Dib and his little alien helper trying to infiltrate my base? Ha! You cannot get the drops on the likes of ZIM!"

"I'm not an alien!" Vim cried out, shaking her fist, "I am a human be—oof!"

The blonde was silenced with a blast from Zim's gun. She struggled to her feet, smoke curling from her body. "Was that... supposed to hurt?" she asked rhetorically, voice clearly in pain.

"Yes," Zim replied matter-of-factly and zapped her again. She attempted again to stand, only to be met by another blast from Zim's gun. And another. And another. Zim again let loose with a long string of maniacal laughter that filled the lab.

Dib stared in horror. "I've got to do something!" he exclaimed and looked around the lab. With an acrobatic flip, Dib made his way over to a lever clearly labeled 'Beaver Release'. Dib pulled the lever, causing alarm klaxons to sound all over the lab, warning lights blinking angrily.

Zim ceased his laughing and looked around. "No! NOOO! The beaver containment system! What have you done?!" In a split second, the ground began to shake, followed closely by beavers – thousands of beavers – pouring out from every nook and cranny of the lab. They quickly overran Zim, beginning to square dance around him. "No! Don't! Not yet! Beavers, go back to your lair! I, Zim, your Lord of the Dance, command it!"

"Quick, Dib!" Vim called out, picking herself off the floor, "While he's distracted!"

"Right!" Dib shouted back, pulling a small device from behind him. It quickly sprouted spider legs then scuttled off into the lab, "Spy drone away!"

"Great!" Vim called, "Let's get out of here." She stood up on a nearby piece of equipment and pointed towards the exit, "Beavers, hear me! Freedom and straw hats can be yours!"

In an instant, the beavers were streaming towards the exit, with Dib and Vim riding along with the wash of furry bodies.

Back in the kitchen, a faint rumbling was heard just before the trash can exploded in a fountain of beavers which all trundled towards the still-open front door. Mired in the living carpet were Dib and Vim. Suddenly, the blonde Flargian let out a shriek, looking behind her. "No! My ToastSnax(tm)!"

There, in Zim's living room, was the box of tasty alien treats. Vim tried to swim against the crushing wave of beavers, but she was inexorably swept towards the door.

"Just leave it, Vim!" Dib called out, "It's just a snack!"

"Nooo! My ToastSnax(tm)!" Vim wailed as she and Dib exited the door and were pulled down the street by the stream of beavers.

Zim, broken and bruised, crawled out to the living room and stared out at his retreating army of dancing beavers. "My dancing beaver plan!" he sighed, reaching a gloved hand out as if he could grab the horde, "Ruined! RUINED! Curse that earthboy and that disgusting yellow gutslug!"

Zim rose shakily to his feet and glared out the door before shutting it with a slam. "They will pay for this outrage!" he roared, stalking back and forth, "Both of them will dearly pay! I will have to inform the Tallest. They will not be happy." As the little Irken paced, his feet knocked against the discarded box of ToastSnax(tm). Zim paused and leaned down to retrieve the object, peering at it.

"Humph. The yellow slime weasel dropped this," Zim murmured, "Accursed evil inferior snack. I will destroy it. BUT FIRST! I must call the Tallest and inform them of my victory over the vile dancing earth creatures!"

His mind already having rewrote the events that took place, Zim turned on his heel and walked back to the kitchen to once again head down into the lab.