Riz:
I wrote this purely for my own enjoyment. Having become very infuriated with the large swamp of oh-too-similar plotted stories, I've decided to write this. This story will examine the storyline used in many OC YYH fanfics.It contains various flames on OC characters, plot-line, and a few lectures on the ways of youkai.
So my warning is done; read on if you have an open mind and enjoy satirical humor.
Day One: All Hell Breaks Loose
"Hey, Kurama, open up already. It's freezing out here!"
The banging on the door continued for some time. Obviously it was indeed very cold out there. Peeling his eyes away from the screen, Kurama ran down the stairs, skidded around the corner, opened the door and before anyone could respond, bolted back into his room again.
Knuckles still in midair as he was about to knock, Kuwabara stared hard at the empty space where a flash of red had blurred past earlier. The tall boy was so engrossed in this strange incident that he had forgotten all about the freezing Yusuke standing behind him... or at least had forgotten until he suddenly flew into the house via a very painful kick to his backside. Scrambling up, Kuwabara turned around and started yelling rude comments at Yusuke, who was too busy worshipping the heat of the room to notice. Hiei, being our stubborn and apathetic Hiei, simply stood there with his hands crossed and a very bored look on his face. But someone did notice the barrage of loud voices blaring out from down below; a green-eyed face poked out from behind the door and frowned down at his visitors.
"Shh. Could both of you please try and keep your debates to the bare minimum? I have something of interest which requires much of my attention. So please."
And with that the head disappeared as fast as it emerged, gone in the bare blink of an eye. Argument forgotten (not as if they had a real topic to argue in the first place), Yusuke and Kuwabara both began climbing up the stairs softly. So... something of interest, aye? And requires much of his attention? Very perverted thoughts came into the two boy's minds, and who can blame them; they are boys! Upon arriving before Kurama's door, Yusuke and Kuwabara glanced at each other. A silent look passed between the two, a mutual agreement of some kind. And then upon some invisible warning, the two rushed into the room, a laugh of victory upon their lips as they were prepared to shame the red-head in whatever they thought he was doing...
They never expected to see the kitsune staring at a computer screen. Worse, a computer screen filled with lines and lines of words. And to make this retarded thing weirder, Kurama did not even bother to scold the two on their rude intrusion, jaded orbs fixed unblinkingly upon the screen. Before either of the two very confused boys could open their mouth, Kurama got in their first.
"This is truly amazing. I was searching for something on the internet and accidentally stumbled across this site by the name of Apparently one could write any story they want based on known characters or settings from movies, tv, books..."
Yusuke yawned, loudly. That seems normal enough...
"But what intrigues me most is that we are on here. Somehow we are in an anime called Yu-Yu-Hakusho and is apparently very popular. Arg, stop! I'll show you. Just stop squashing me!"
For both Yusuke and Kuwabara were now scrambling madly for the mouse and keypad in a desperate attempt to see this unthinkable disaster. How could any humans have known about them? All the files were top-secret, locked up with Koenma in Reikai...
-
"I AM NOT GAY! WHOEVER SAYS THAT I'M GAY IS A GAY THEMSELVES! I REPEAT; I AM NOT GAY!"
Ah yea, fanfiction works wonders; opening up new paths one's mind would never have dreamt of otherwise. But sadly, some things were just not meant to be. Like Kuwabara and Hiei being together. Or Yusuke and Hiei, or Kuwabara and Yusuke, or any paring like such. (Note that there was no mention of Kurama in there; the author does not wish to be dragged into the chaotic world that is anime politics). Yusuke and Kuwabara had spent the better part of their hour swearing incomprehensible blasphemy at the computer screen. Hiei, being our stubborn, cold and very adorable Hiei-kun, simply sat on the windowsill and plainly refused to even glance in the direction of this offending piece of nigen technology.
"I SWEAR, IF THERE IS ONE MORE STORY THAT SAYS I'M..."
"Dear, we are home. Is that your friends I hear upstairs?"
Yes indeed, the family entered the house just in time to be spared of the soul-tainting yells, but there long enough to know that Shuichi was not alone in the house. With the feminin voice all hints of swearingimmediately halted so fast that the air was sucked back into the room as Yusuke and Kuwabara bit down hard on their lips.Indeed, one must wonder on the timing of mothers. They always intrude exactly at the right time so not to be in the middle of anything drastic, and yet still have some influence with their entrance. One can't help but wonder of the timing, if mothers timed it just so that they could embrass their childern. Hm...
-
Few days later...
Standing before Koenma's desk, the four boys shuffled in apprehension. The toddler had asked Botan to call them all here, saying that it was urgent, whatever "it" was. Looking over at the baby, Yusuke didn't like the way the Prince of Reikai was smiling at them. It was a... very creepy smile, almost as if the toddler knew some horrible dark secret he was going to use to blackmail them with...
The door opened and in came Botan, all smiling and acting, well, Botan-ish. Behind her came in another girl, a stranger with a lithe and slim built of that of a warrior. The four stared. Well, three actually; Hiei was sleeping in the corner again. Grinning happily, Botan flourished one arm at this new girl.
"This is Sakura, and all of you'll be helping her discover her powers!"
-
Now Sakura wasn't your average normal human girl. If one saw her in real life they would not be faulted if their first reaction was to call the police that some freak of nature had escaped from whatever hellish pit of evil it crawled out from. But, as this is fanfiction, and thus never gives any logical explanation how someone of her appearance could live in a normal world and still be considered... well... normal. To start off, her eyes change color depending on her mood. Purple was their normal shade, green if she's happy, silver if angered, and black when saddened. Now comes the hair, soft waves of platinum white streaked with soft shades of ice blue and the occasional glimpse of crystal red. Half of it was tied in a messy bun, leaving the rest falling down all the way to her hips. Now wide eyes of amethyst turned from one Reikai Tentai to the other, her mind obviously trying to process the information. She was obviously shell-shocked, the eyes slightly glazed and misted. Watching her, something very horrible just popped into Kurama's mind.
Oh no, he had read something like this before in a fanfic. A girl with amazingly powerful abilities and a terrible family history/past life joining their team and go with them to another Dark Tournament. There she would most likely meet up with an opponent who plays a very painful part of her history. She would defeat them, but then the past would come back to her. That was as far as the kitsune got before his whole face turned to a sickly white. Oh ye gods, please don't let this be true... So he experimented, a hesitant question directed at this... Sakura.
"Um, this might sound rude, but were you by any chance an heir to some great youkai clan and someone killed off your family because of some secret?"
From the awed silence around him, Kurama could definitely say that, yes, she was exactly who he thought she was. Staring at the red-head Botan closed her jaws.
"By Kami Kurama, how did you know? Did Koenma-sama tell you?"
"Yea, tell us Kurama. How'd you know?"
But the fox could not hear anything, for at that moment his mind was spiralling down into insanity... How could this happen? How could his life be nothing more than a fictional story? This was not true. The fists clenched. No, he would not allow his own destiny to be carved out on some computer screen. For he will change the course of history, and to do that he'll have to do the unthinkable; defy the absolute laws of worn fanfiction plots and unoriginal authors. The horrors...
Yes, it's Kurama against the majority of the fanfiction world. Very sad... So, what do you think? If you wish to flame me, I totally understand; just go ahead and I'll make sure to never glance at the reviews and let them sit and collect dust. To those who actually have something intelligent to say than "YOUR STORY SUCKS! I HATED IT!" or anything along that line, please, do go ahead and give me your valued opinions on the matter of overly-used-plots. Thank you.
