Spoilers: Kobol's Last Gleaming (Part 1)

Disclaimer: Ron D. Moore and his people own everything BSG, I own my imagination and that's pretty much all I do own, don't sue!

Fighting The Tide

It's past midnight and they're trying to juggle around a few items on her schedule for the following day. Billy makes a joke about joining a trade union and Roslin smiles at him. Suddenly Keikeya is overcome with sadness - fate is waiting to take her away from them and there is nothing he can do.

Sometimes Billy tries to talk to Dee about it, but they always end up fighting. She mistakes something he says as an affront to the military or a slight against Adama. He needs Dee, but he needs Roslin too… Laura is his friend and she's the best hope they've got. When she's gone - who's left? Baltar? Zarek? Adama? They all have their own agenda and he doesn't trust any of them.

Billy holds his breath, mentally tracing the lines of Roslin's face, committing them to memory.

"Billy?" the President says gently.

"Yes?"

"Can you pen my appointment with Captain Borrail for half-eight instead of eight?"

He nods. "I can try, but he might get tetchy since - "

"I need to, um... I'd like to see Dr. Cottle first thing," Roslin says softly.

Billy gulps back his fear; he doesn't look at her as he scribbles the corrective note in her diary.

"Hey," Laura says.

Billy peers up at her and Roslin's eyes are filled with warmth as she continues. "Tomorrow, after the energy preservation summit, you wanna take Dualla on a well-deserved break to Cloud 9?"

Billy bites his lower lip, he thinks about Roslin: bright, dedicated, beautiful, dying… and he can't bear to see her acting so cheerful when he knows what she's been through. He goes with her to doctors appointments, sits outside and waits, but today was different. Today he had watched Laura have an MRI and lost all hope as he saw the look of defeat in Cottle's eyes.

He knows Roslin is going to die. He knows and yet, as he watches her now, sitting at her desk - he won't believe it. He can't.

"Sure... she'd love it," Billy agrees, feeling obligated to play Laura's game of everything's fine because he loves her.

He's never said it; it never seemed to be the right time. Instead, he expresses it in his devotion to her. So, he'll stand by Roslin when she needs him to and give his support when she doesn't ask for it - his loyalty is unwavering.

Since the first day they met, Roslin has never lied to him. He knows she has secrets; Billy's seen her face after meetings alone with Adama... but she's never told him an outright lie before.

He can read her now, knows the telltale signs that no one else does and soon, all of that knowledge will be meaningless because she won't be here. He'll be left with nothing but memories of her and he has to look to the future because Laura makes him - she keeps asking what his plans are 'after' and Billy always gives her half-answers and shuffles paper when she mentions it. He's not ready to accept her death, not yet.

It's been a long day and Laura sees the far away look in Billy's eyes. Since her scan this afternoon, he's barely said a word.

Billy feels her eyes on him and glances up, holding her gaze. "What?" he asks gently.

"It's okay Billy," she assures.

But it's not okay and that's her first lie to him.

"You've got to swim with the tide," Laura says.

He looks puzzled. "Ma'am?"

"Don't fight it," she warns. "Not on my behalf."

He wants to tell her to stop; he knows she's trying to be brave but it only makes her death seem more eminent and he can't think that far ahead, can't imagine what he's going to do when the day finally comes... and it will. He knows it will. Roslin will be gone and he'll be left.

So, he might be fighting the tide, he might lose in the end, but he won't give-up because he can't imagine the world without her in it.

~ The End ~