Disclaimer: Gundam Seed is the property of Sotsu Agency, Sunrise, Bandai, etc. The author claims no right over any of its concepts, characters and locations aside from those created originally for the purposes of the storyline.

More A/N end of chapter: Chapter 4 of my first fanfic ever. Also, Since Seed Destiny isn't out yet, therefore this fic ignores its existence. :) Thanks go to those who review and encourage me to continue, it honestly keeps me going!

Chapter 4 Summary: Dearkka and Milly meet again as Cagalli, Lacus and Yzak coordinate with what's left of the council to hold the fragile peace together. Kira revisits some of his demons, while Athrun makes his decision.

Cover doodle for the curious: hemisophia .com/oekaki/pictures/35.png


Chapter 4: The Morning After

Newspapers around Space and Earth all had the same headline that day. Events of the bombing had reached Earth and Naturals had fallen into panic. Rumors had started to be spread that Coordinators would again attack Earth. So far, the absence of an official press release by the council had caused outrageous speculations and rumors to buzz around the conference hall.

Cagalli Yula Athha scowled as she slipped on a one-piece dress, muttering an expletive about having to wear a damn dress she couldn't zip up herself. As she fiddled with the zipper at the back, trying to close it, a pair of hands had pushed hers away, closing the zipper for her. Her hair, worn slightly longer since four years ago, was gently pushed back, and a soft kiss was placed on her bare shoulder.

Cagalli turned around, meeting the sleep-tinged emerald eyes that regarded her warmly. Cagalli felt herself calm down, and there were no words spoken as she wrapped her arms around Athrun, and he lowered his head to kiss her. After a while, they broke apart, Athrun smiled, and briefly tightened his hold on her waist, hugging her to him.

"Good luck, princess." He whispered as he let her go. "I'll see you later."

Cagalli nodded, slipping on the matching blazer for her dress. She straightened her shoulders and brought her chin up, exiting the hotel room. She knocked on the door on the adjacent room, waiting for it to be answered.

Lacus opened the door and smiled at her. "Good Morning, Cagalli. Just a moment." Signs of strain marred the songstress' normally cheerful face as she tossed her hair back, took a coat and closed the door behind her.

"What's wrong Lacus?" Cagalli asked, as they walked side by side towards the elevators.

Lacus smiled slightly at Cagalli's perceptiveness.

"You're all right giving this press conference, aren't you?"

Lacus nodded, and they stepped inside the lift.

"It's not the press conference I'm worried about." She admitted.

"Is it about Kira?" Cagalli said as she pressed the proper floor.

Lacus nodded.

"He doesn't have to worry about a thing." Cagalli smiled slightly. "I won't let my baby brother fight again."

Yzak was impatiently waiting for them at the lobby, his arms crossed. What was it about women and their rituals that made them take too long in something as simple as putting on clothes, he wondered. He breathed a sigh of impatience as they finally emerged from the elevator.

"Good morning, Yzak." Lacus greeted politely, smiling at him.

Yzak gave both of them a nod in greeting.

Dearkka appeared, smiling at the three.

"Well, the press is hot and ready to hear you three." He bowed politely at Lacus, and gave Cagalli a small smirk.

"This way." He murmured, leading them through the corridors, and onto a meeting room where there would be a short meeting of what exactly to say to the press.

The trio entered, and screens in front of them projected images of other council members who had managed to survive. They sat down while Dearkka shut the door behind him, ensuring that they were not disturbed. As soon as Dearkka exited, the council spoke.

"This is an outrage! Are Coordinators declaring war against Earth? Well?" One of the members of the Earth council had made the comment, his face angry.

"How dare you say an irresponsible comment such as that! Don't forget that Coordinators also died in that attack yesterday!" A PLANT representative interjected.

Yzak inwardly cursed. They only had 10 minutes to make a decision on what to tell the press and here they were, trying to blame each other for the attack.

Cagalli scowled openly. She stood up.

"We've all been able to live in peace for the last few years. I don't think anybody among either side would just suddenly attack." She snapped ferociously. "All of Earth's and Space's resources have been concentrated on rebuilding, and we've only just about finished doing so! To think that either side would waste countless resources rebuilding, and then destroy all of it is unimaginable!"

Lacus also stood up. "We are part of a united council that helps keeps peace between PLANT and Earth through negotiations instead of the use of arms." She said firmly. "Can we not take this as a part of our duties, without trying to place blame in one another? From how things look, it is also apparent that someone is trying to make sure that the united council is wiped out. From their actions, it is obvious that they do not want us to continue our peacekeeping efforts." She reminded them.

Yzak stood up. "In that light, I believe that we should take precautions just in case they attack again, but I suggest we withhold judgment of who is to blame for this mess. It doesn't matter right now who did it."

One of the council members finally nodded.

"Announce to the press that it was a terrorist attack against the united council. We must reassure them that Naturals and Coordinators will not go to war for this."

Cagalli sighed in relief. Thoughts of war against each faction were not present, or at least, would not be acted upon—for now.

"Also, families of those who died yesterday must be sent condolences, and hints that proper preparations are being made should be given, lest they think we're being negligent."

"We'll leave the details to the three of you."

Yzak, Cagalli and Lacus bowed as one by one, the monitors went off. Lacus let out a long sigh while Cagalli murmured something about old pricks under her breath.

Yzak straightened his coat.

"They'd go right into another war without us to stop them." He scowled.

"True." Cagalli answered scornfully as she pressed the button that opened the door.

---

Dearkka led them to the podium where they would make their announcement. He sighed. Yzak had confided in him earlier that morning how things might go when he went into the meeting. But the council's decision would be kept to the three of them until it was finally time to announce it. Dearkka could only hope it would be the good news amidst all the mess.

Dearkka felt his heart pounding in trepidation. Distracted, he barely made it to the back of the room when he crashed to somebody.

He instinctively caught her, but the momentum still caused them to fall on the floor. The person he bumped into fell on top him, and he gave a low grunt at the weight. When he opened his eyes, he was staring into a pair of very familiar blue-green eyes, with a face framed with light-brown hair.

They stared at each other, surprised.

"What are you doing here!?" They exclaimed in unison, scrambling away from each other.

Miriallia Haww gaped at him.

A burst of laughter came from behind Dearkka, revealing an amused Cagalli. Yzak looked bored, and muttered, "Are you two done gaping at each other?"

Dearkka flushed and stood up, offering his hand to Miriallia, who had also turned red. She hesitantly accepted his help, placing her hand in his. Dearkka led her to one of the seats, while the other three took their positions in front of the podium.

The crowd fell into a hush as Yzak picked up the microphone. However, most of the announcement, aside from not having war and Lacus offering her condolences –went through Dearkka's head as he got distracted at the presence of the woman beside him. Her looks didn't change much, he noted. In a nutshell, she was still pretty. He stopped himself before he sighed again. He was starting to feel like a woman with all this sighing he seemed to be doing. He had thought that after not seeing her in so long, he'd eventually forget about the feelings he had for her when he was aboard the Archangel. Apparently not, he realized, glowering.

"Whatever your staring at, it's probably dead by now." A voice interrupted his thoughts. He gave a start as he turned to her.

"What?"

"You've been staring at the bottom of the podium rather murderously for a while now." Mirillia remarked casually.

This left Dearkka bleakly wondering how the hell he always felt that he managed to make a fool out of himself when he was with this woman.


Kira threw off the covers that had become entangled around his legs. He felt cold, even if the room's temperature was hot. Images had come to haunt him again, his mind's eye flashing him scenes from four years ago—when he had desperately piloted Strike so Sai and the others wouldn't get crushed by the battle, when he had fought against the Andy Bartfeld's Bakkou, when he had cut through Gundam Blitz...

A tremor passed through him as memories bombarded him, coming back with a vengeance. But more than the people he had killed, what disturbed him more were the faces of the people he had failed to protect. Kira's hand clenched over the sheets as he fought the wave of anger directed at himself, how had he lived while those he had desperately tried to protect had not? Were their spirits seeking vengeance now? Were they there to throw him back to the chaos to ensure that he died because he had failed to protect them? Kira's breathing turned unsteady as guilt tore at his mind. But to go back to the battlefield meant that he would kill more people. Did one death against the enemy make up for each death that he had failed to prevent? Somehow that even made less sense to him. Kira opened his eyes, staring blankly at the ceiling. He remembered a question he had asked Athrun a long time ago. He had asked why he was privileged enough to breath, eat, and live while so many others had died around them. Athrun had not given him an answer, only a reassurance that he was not the only one who felt it. He wondered if Athrun ever found the answer to that question, or if he could find it himself.

Kira sat up as he considered it. His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Standing up, he opened it.

"Can I come in?" Athrun spoke from the other side of the door.

"Sure." Kira stepped back and allowed him inside.

Athrun shut the door behind him, facing Kira. "I came to tell you something."

Kira waited for Athrun to continue. Athrun took a deep breath as he explained. "I'm going to join Yzak's defense committee that's going to be formed to fight against the Gundam."

"Does Cagalli know about any of this?" Kira asked, not surprised.

Athrun shook his head. "No, she has enough problems with the united council. I didn't want to worry her just yet."

"She won't be happy to hear that you're going back to the frontlines, Athrun." Kira answered.

Athrun smiled wanly. "I know, but I already have military experience, and I can't just let them kill off the united council, despite Cagalli's insistence that they're well guarded."

Kira smiled back. "When do you suppose we should tell them?"

Athrun's eyes widened. "We? Kira, you don't need to do this! You've gone through enough as it was! "

Kira's amethyst eyes met Athrun's, no longer tormented like the day before, but blessed with clarity of purpose. To sit and watch everything go by, Kira couldn't do it anymore. Perhaps he could not answer the question of why he still lived, but there were things that he realized by now. To live was to struggle, and while he was not given instrumental power to change fate, the fact that he was alive simply meant that he was another individual who could make a difference, another individual whose efforts could add up to the larger scheme of things.

"I want to protect this world, Athrun."


Chapter 5 Summary: As Athrun and Kira announce their intentions to Cagalli and Lacus, Aya Vasil realizes that it is Lacus, Cagalli and Yzak who he needs to eliminate to push history in the right direction.

A/N contd: The part where Kira refers to asking Athrun about being alive is in the 5-minute OVA.


Replies:

KingArthur6687: Actually, it was because I had more plans for Kira. Hurting Lacus pretty much means crippling Kira, and he still has parts to play on later chapters, so...:D As for Yzak, grin Thanks!
Chibi Fyrefly: I'll see what I can do about your request, but it probably won't come till later chapters of the story. :)
Yuugiri: 3! Some of your questions will be answered in the next chapter. Also, thanks for the fav ;; That's just so awesome. XD
Bloody Kitsune: Thanks for the review! On Freedom, you'll just have to see :).
Thanks also goes to XStarryNightX for reviewing.