Chapter 4: Painful Nightmares & Dirty Disasters

"Silencio!" rang a familiar feminine voice from somewhere off to his side.

He knew this scene all too well, and the weird feeling of dẻja vu began building up as the dreaded turn of events were about to be relived all over again.

"Petrificus Totalus!" he heard his own voice shout out, creeping him out given that he was torn between the perspectives of silent observer and a naïve young defender of the light.

He could feel the vibrations that trailed as the immobilized Death Eater fell hard like a log, face first onto the rug before his very own feet.

'No, no…n-not this part,' he pleaded, but could do nothing to prevent it.

"Well done, Ha-" the female started to say, but before she could even finish her congratulations the sudden streak of purple-colored flames shot out from the previously silenced Death Eater's wand, slashing across her chest.

"Oh!" the tiny omission of surprise caused him to tightly shut his eyes, not wanting to watch his best friend fall to the ground in a crumpled heap, where she would lay motionless.

"HERMIONE!" the evident and helpless panic he witnessed in his own voice sent chills that sought out every part in his body.

Knowing the exact thoughts that were about to enter into his mind, he tried hopelessly to mentally shake his head in an effort to be spared of the dire trepidation that he was about to experience.

"Don't let her be dead, don't let her be dead, it's my fault if she's dead…"

Bolting upright into a sitting position on his bed, wide and fearful green eyes darted around frantically trying to take in his surroundings. Realizing that it was almost dawn and he was just in his room, he let out a groan, and pulled at his sweat-soaked and oversized t-shirt in an attempt to rid himself of the clinging feeling.

Waiting for his body to cease trembling, he constantly reminded himself that it was just a normal nightmare and that his friend did not die, that she was alive and safe.

"But somebody DID die that night and it was YOUR fault!" a whispery voice echoed inside his mind, delivering a truthful stab to his already heavy heart.

Lowering his head in his unsteady hands, he rocked back and forth trying to ride himself of the emotional pain with his momentum. He rolled out of bed and made his way for the bathroom stumbling, and carefully closed and locked himself inside.

Sliding his back down against the door and pulling his knees tightly against his heaving chest, attempting to calm down and try to return to a relaxed state with this false sense of security.

It felt like his insides were set on a combination of "spin cycle" and "frappe," and in an effort to dull this bodily assault he shifted forward onto his hands and knees, and pressed his forehead down against the cold tiles of the bathroom floor.

He could feel that this was only a temporary solution, and started to crawl over to the toilet bowl in pain. After lifting the seat, his hands latched on to either side of the bowl and he started taking deep long breathes, slowly inhaling and exhaling to force the pain back.

The panicked emotion of suddenly not being able to breathe rattled his thoughts, and he desperately tried to gulp down mouthfuls of required oxygen in an impossible manner.

Just when he thought he would never be able to take in air again, his useless throat constricted painfully and then heaved open, allowing the much welcomed relief of not suffocating to death, and he released everything that needed to escape out of him.

After painful lurches and occasional spitting now and then to get the foul taste out of his mouth, and his steady breathing revisited him, and he definitely felt oh so much better.

Wiping away whatever remained near his mouth with the back of his hand, he flushed the toilet twice, and started to spray air freshener like he was fumigating an infested place. 'Thank god for air freshener,' he thought, 'as it's a much needed necessity for any household that Vernon and Dudley occupy.'

Harry slowly headed back to his room thinking, 'What a way to wake up and start the day…I definitely need a shower.' With a handful of clothes and his shower stuff, he returned to the bathroom and paused in front of the sink, peering into the mirror.

It felt like he was meeting a stranger as he took in his appearance. Softly running his hand against his now chalk-white skin, which immensely emphasized the dark black bags under his eyes that reflected his tired and stressed state.

'Merlin…Sir Nicholas has more color than I do,' he criticized. 'I just need a refreshing shower, and a spot of breakfast probably.'

An hour later, Harry was lying down on his bed going over second year texts, and when it was minutes before eight in the morning he moved to oversee the situation with his guards.

Being overly careful, he observed the very fast switch of Kingsley for Snape, and nodding to himself he thought, 'same guards and the same times so far…' Hedwig began to hoot, and Harry helped her out of the cage and let her out to hunt. He then went back to his studies, only taking breaks when it was time to watch his guards.

Following Snape switching with the twins, and a silent lunch, Harry was reading quietly in his room when a continuous and loud scratching sound broke the silence.

Making for his window he discovered the origin of the piercing distraction, and smiled. The spectacle of the 'baby whale' that was his cousin could be seen, wobbling funnily down the driveway and dragging behind his enormous girth, two overly large black plastic garbage bags.

Chuckling quietly the messy haired teenager thought, 'the sight of Dudley doing chores will always be hilarious…' and Harry swore he heard two identical chuckles coming from the front lawn. 'Those bags are sooo going to rip if he doesn't lift them off the ground.'

The few remaining neighbors that were still present on Privet Drive and had not gone on vacation, started looking through their windows and stepping outside to investigate the noisy disturbance. And that's when it happened.

As Dudley was halfway up the driveway making his way to the garbage bins that were located on the sidewalk, both bags ripped open spilling rubbish and waste right in the middle of the driveway.

His cousin being the smart bloke that he is, lifted his arms and raised the torn bags up off the ground to inspect where and why the bags had ripped open, causing whatever trash that remained to crash to the ground, right when his Mum came out the front door.

"Dudley Dursley! What in God's name are you DOING!" his mother yelled as loud as she could, and Harry wondered if her long, giraffe-like neck amplified the power of her vocal chords, not like she needed extra anything when he thought about it.

"U-um…tt-t-taking out t-the tr...trash?" he sheepishly answered, avoiding her death glare eyes at all costs.

The blazing eyes of Petunia Dursley darted from her son, to the littered drive, and looking around finally took in that the neighbors were watching the scene, not moving from their positions, as they wanted to see what was going to happen.

Harry watched his Aunt move faster than he had ever seen in his lifetime, closing the distance between her and her son in mere seconds. What she did next had Harry wishing he owned his own pensieve. Mrs. Dursley smacked Dudley upside the head resulting in a loud 'WHAP!' and started to drag him back inside the house by his ear.

"Ow Ow Owww! Mummy you're hurting meee!" whimpered Dudley, his blue eyes were now watery, and he looked like he was about to start shedding tears any second, while being lead inside. Harry's jaw hung open pretty loose with a dumbstruck expression plastered to his face, as he was shocked since his Aunt never punished her son that way before (with Harry…well that's a different case).

As the front door of number four slammed loudly shut, some of the neighbors were whispering to each other, others were shaking their heads, and the remaining were smiling and laughing to themselves. Harry could also hear the invisible twins laughing hysterically, and he knew that they got a real kick out of that memorable highlight, probably for the rest of their shift.

Harry could hear his Aunt verbally tearing into Dudley downstairs, and minutes later everybody present on Privet Drive could see a miserable looking, obese boy cleaning up a huge pile of garbage under the angry watchful eyes of his mother.

Adding insult to injury, while Dudley was working cleanup detail, a group of young neighborhood kids were walking by on the other side of the street, and once their eyes fell upon Dudley they flocked over. Harry recognized several of them and knew that they were "victims," of Dudley and his gang's bullying antics.

"Oh look guys, the bullying boy is a garbage picker!"

"Hey Big D we know you love eating, but garbage!"

"Look the huge piggy made himself a pig sty!"

Were a few of the vengeful comments that the kids got out before Aunt Petunia chased them off. Harry looked on with an amused smile, thinking 'I guess what goes around comes around huh?' After getting his kicks from "Dudley's Dirty Disaster," he went back to his magical revision.

Rubbing his eyes, he set aside his books and opted to do a little physical exercise. Numerous push-ups and sit-ups later, Harry was checking himself out with a disappointed frown on his face. 'Doesn't look like anything has changed yet but its only been a couple of days, maybe by the end of the summer…'

Later on, he found himself watching the twins discussing something with Hestia Jones. From what he could make out, it looked like the Weasley twins were doing a physical reenactment of Dudley's misfortune by alternating between themselves like they always do, demonstrating slaps and ear pulling with wild hand gestures. This had Harry snorting in amusement from his viewing spot, while the older witch was clutching her side and laughing hysterically, and with a synchronized double wave from the mischievous twins they parted ways.

Harry when back to exercising, and was interrupted a couple of hours later when Hedwig flew in through the window bearing letters. Untying the envelopes and setting her up with some owl treats and water, he sat down on his bed to read what was sent to him, starting off with Hermione's letter first.


Dear Harry,

To say I was surprised to see Hedwig fly through my window without writing to you first, and with so many letters, would be understatement!

He nodded his head, and snorted, 'Hermione can have her moments at times.'

Your letter pretty much shocked me, and made me think and feel a lot of different emotions altogether. I'm not sure if I've ever seen you open yourself up so much before, but I definitely think that it's a good thing. First off, I'm doing ok but I still have to take a potion or two here and there, don't worry though because I should be as good as new in a couple of weeks.

Now I want you to read this part carefully. I am not angry with you, and I don't think I could ever be so angry with you to a point where I would never want to speak to you again, or stop being friends. Since we're being open and truthful all of a sudden, I'm not going to lie to you or baby you and say, "none of this was your fault." We all made mistakes that night, so don't blame yourself over what happened to the others and me. None of us were forced to go, we all made our own choices. You and Ron are my best friends, and I wouldn't change that for anything.

It's good to see you take more of an interest in your studies and schoolwork. I've started reading some of the NEWT level books I have so I can be somewhat prepared for the upcoming year. I can't wait for our O.W.L results to arrive! I hope we all get good grades, and when you get yours you have to write them down and send them to me, and I'll do the same.

Harry let out a laugh and shook his head. 'Hermione talking about studies, schoolwork, and O.W.L's, makes a young kid getting a puppy seem extremely dull.'

About the other stuff in your letter I just wanted to say Thank You. It really means a lot to me, and reading what you wrote…let's just say I let out a few tears. I know I have avoided a topic in my letter, but I think it's better just to tell you that whenever you're ready or feel like you need to talk about it, I'll be around to listen.

I'm not expecting you to write to me everyday, just send a letter now and then on how you're doing so I don't worry too much, ok? I hope your relatives are treating you better, and try to have an ok summer.

Love,

Hermione


'Definitely my best friend and a good person,'he thought after placing the letter down and started opening the next one from Ron.


Hey Mate,

How's things going? Those muggles treating you alright? I'm doing ok and so is Ginny. I still have to take a few potions, and most of the scars you can't even see anymore. I'm sorry about Sirius and I know it's a tough thing, but don't beat yourself crazy over it. Nobody blames you because we all wanted to go and help. You probably don't know yet, but the twins got "promoted." They said business at the shop is doing great too! Making loads of galleons and everything! Anyway, I hope they lose my O.W.L's or something, cause I'm not looking forward to opening that letter. You shouldn't talk about Quidditch mate, since you haven't flown a broom in ages and you're probably rustier than me. Well hope you have a good summer and see you soon!

Ron


Rolling his eyes, 'That's Ron for you,' discarding the letter and opening Ginny's


Dear Harry,

How are you doing? You didn't say much about that in your letter. I'm doing ok, and my ankle is perfectly normal now, and thanks for asking. I hope you're feeling better, and I wanted you to know that I don't blame you for anything, got that? I'm a little nervous about the O.W.L's this year, so I am starting to do some early studying. Of course when Ron sees me studying he tells me "Why are you studying! It's the summer!" Like I'm an idiot and don't realize it's summer vacation or something, but he's a slacker so I'm definitely not listening to him. You think I did well in Quidditch? Thanks, that means a lot coming from an expert player like you! Everybody is doing fine here, especially the twins and their shop! Well, try to have a decent summer and don't get into too much trouble.

Love,

Ginny


'I think Ginny is like a mixture of the twins, Hermione, and Ron, all thrown together,' thought Harry as he started opening his letter from Luna, wondering what to expect from the Ravenclaw girl, never having received a letter from her before now


Dear Harry,

Thanks for the kind letter. Your owl Hedwig is a beautiful creature. I'm doing ok and so is Daddy. We might go to Sweden later in the summer to get proof of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack's existence. I'm really sorry for your loss, and hope you feel better soon. Do you want me to send you some pixies to cheer you up? Or maybe some fairies? Do not worry about blame and guilt. I was not forced to come; I choose to follow for my own reasons. Although riding the thestrals was quite enjoyable wasn't it? I am preparing for O.W.L's, but thank you for the warning. I hope the summer treats you well, and watch out for nargles under your bed.

Luna Lovegood


Harry reread the letter another time, and it certainly made him laugh for a good couple of minutes. 'Only Luna would enjoy riding Thestrals, and think to send me pixies and fairies. Mysterious and interesting…quite a character, but I'm sure there's more than meets the eye with her,' while opening the last letter of the pile


Hey Harry,

How are you? I'm doing well. My Gran wasn't too mad at me for what happened that night, but she was plenty worried about me. She even took me to Ollivander's for a new wand. I'm sorry about your Godfather, and I hope you feel better soon. I just want you to know that I don't blame you for anything. I knew what we were going to do and what could happen there. Anyway, I'm a little nervous about my O.W.L marks but I suppose everybody is as well. Have a good summer, and see you at school.

Neville Longbottom


'Well…maybe he'll do much better with his own wand now,' he commented putting the letter aside, and lay down on his back, thinking and staring up at the ceiling

Sitting at the silent dinner table eating dinner, Harry could feel the calculating eyes of his Aunt upon him, as he remained focused on his food. This was probably due to the fact that every few minutes Harry would stop eating and turn his head to glance at the clock, checking the time and then resuming his meal. 'She probably thinks I'm planning something or up to no good…looks like she's expecting a bomb to go off somewhere inside the house,' Harry cynically thought .

Checking the time again and seeing that it was now twenty minutes to eight, he then abruptly stood up from his chair, causing his Aunt to flinch and quickly back her chair up in the opposite direction from where he was sitting. He shot her a look while raising one eyebrow, and quickly launched into washing and drying the things he used. Bolting out of the kitchen like a banshee out of hell, up the stairs and into his room with time to spare.

Throwing his father's invisibility cloak over him and switching off the lights, he walked over to the window to assume his normal viewing spot and stood there waiting.

Five minutes later he saw Tonks skipping playfully down the street, giddy as a schoolgirl. 'She's happy today…maybe the Ministry gave her a raise or something,' he wondered with a grin. Still skipping up and down, her lengthy "violently" violet hair was flying all around her smiling heart-shaped face, until she suddenly stumbled and was able to regain her footing. She turned around and looked down with a scowl, like it was clearly obvious that it was the sidewalk's fault and not her own.

Snorting to himself, "That looks like exactly the same spot she tripped over yesterday too."

Turning back, she then started to dust off imaginary dirt from her purple "The Weird Sisters" t-shirt and her tight blue jeans. Bearing a smile again, she looked around for a few seconds until Hestia Jones appeared, and made her way over towards the other witch.

Chatting amongst themselves, Harry reckoned that they might have a password or key sentence, in case of impostors and the dangerous possibility of polyjuice potion. When the ladies started giggling, he considered maybe their conversation could be related to the retelling of the Dudley incident since Hestia seemed to appreciate it, or just plain girl talk.

When the two blushing ladies looked up directly towards his window, he was about to "duck and cover," until he remembered he was invisible and stood his ground. The witches then exchanged a few more words, and Hestia Jones waved goodbye and began walking down the street. Tonks looked to the window one more time, and then swung her cloak over her head and disappeared.

With no more outside observing to do, Harry inched away from the window and slid his cloak off. Grabbing a book and plopping down on his bed, he switched on the little bedside lamp and began reading away. He turned off his lamp when it drew closer to the next shift, since he had to be extra vigilant considering it could very well be Alastor Moody like last night.

Once he confirmed Mad-Eye Moody's presence close to midnight, he speedily put on the act that he was sleeping safe and sound. Harry now knew that guards and times might be a permanent schedule, and he now needed to determine their patterns and routines.

It took a good forty-five minutes of focusing hard on clearing his mind with Occlumency, and then the cautious teenager was out for the night.