Crimson Love


Chapter Eighteen: Healing

"Can I come see Shizuka after school?" Neji asked of Kimimaro during gym.

Kimimaro actually looked semi-alive. "Uh… I don't know… I'd have to ask her."

Neji gave him an odd look. "You'd have to ask her? About if I could visit?"

Kimimaro nodded. "It's weird… she doesn't seem to want to talk to anyone, even you."

Neji: DEPRESSION.

"I-I could ask her, though!" Kimimaro offered quickly, taking out his cell phone.

Neji: Less-then-depressed

"Ok." Kimimaro dialed (even though they were in the middle of a basketball game… Like Jiraiya cares? R i g h t.) and waited for Shizuka to pick him. "Hi, Shizuka-chan? Yeah, Neji wants to know if he could come ov—"

"NO!"

Kimimaro yanked the phone away from his ear, wincing slightly. "U-Um…" He put the phone back against his ear. "W-Why?"

There was a pause as Shizuka seemed to say something.

"Um… ok… Yeah, I'll be home in about an hour… ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Bye." He hung up. "She says she doesn't want you to get sick, too," he told Neji.

Neji slumped back into depression-mode. "Can I call her, at least?"

"I guess that would be ok, I mean it's not like she can give you germs over the phone, right?"

Neji nodded and smiled slightly, knowing Kimimaro was trying to cheer him up, and picked up one of the basketballs. But he didn't really feel like playing anymore.

(-oOo-)

Shizuka looked up when her phone rang. A scared shiver ran down her spine when she thought of the possibilities. No, she reasoned with herself. He wouldn't call me… he got what he wanted, right? He doesn't have any reason to talk to me… ok… She picked up the phone, wary despite herself. "H-Hello?"

"Shizuka?"

Her eyes widened and she dropped the phone. Why is Neji calling me?

"Shizuka, are you there?"

"U-um, y-yes, I'm here," she said quickly, picking up the phone again.

"Kimimaro said you were sick, are you ok?"

"Y-Yes, I'm alright… just a little fever."

"Why'd you walk home, anyway? Hiashi could have driven you if you were so set on going home."

Shizuka's eyes widened. Think of something—fast! "I-I didn't think of it…"

"Oh. I have your coat, you left it here. Do you want me to bring it over?"

She shook her head rapidly. "N-No! I'm fine! J-Just give it to Kimimaro, o-or someth—"

"Are you avoiding me, or something?"

She shook her head again, even though he couldn't see it. No…

"Did I do something to upset you? 'Cause I'd like to know if I did, so I can apologize."

She shook her head again, chewing her lip. No… it's not you… it's me

"Shizuka? …Please tell me what I did?"

"I-I have to go," she said quickly. "I-I have to take a bath." Before he could respond, she hung up and went to run a bath, even though it was her fifth one that day.

No matter what she did, the dirty feeling wouldn't go away.

Shizuka closed her eyes as she eased into the steaming water. She didn't close them because it was pleasant, or because the water was too hot; she closed them so she wouldn't have to see her own body.

After all: it had been her body that made Itachi rape her, right?

(-oOo-)

Neji tossed and turned, nearly falling off his bed a few times, but he didn't notice, for he was deep inside a nightmare. One of those horrible nightmares you really never quite forget.

He was playing soccer, and was, actually, doing pretty good. He was playing an offense position, so he was running down the field, kicking the ball, occasionally passing the ball to a team-mate, but always getting it back eventually. Then, just as he was about to score, the other team's goalie started… changing shape?

His eyes widened and he stopped dead as the other team's goalie turned into Shizuka. She gave him a small smile, her hands behind her back, just standing there.

"Shizuka!" He started to walk towards her, but stopped as, slowly, her skin started eating it's self away, like some kind of acid was touching her; the skin left over looked like one of those 'Don't let this happen to you—don't smoke!' posters. Only half of her face remained 'normal', but she still gave him that small smile.

"Shizuka, w-what hap—"

"Why didn't you help me, Neji?" she asked, still smiling.

"H… huh?"

"I kept calling and calling for you, but you never came," she said, her tone never changing. "Why didn't you come? Don't you care about me?"

Neji's eyes widened. "What?"

"This wouldn't have happened to me if you came," she said softly. "It's all your fault. It's all your fault."

Neji started to protest, but stopped again when Shizuka changed, not back into the goalie, but into a taller man, with long, black hair and pale, sad eyes. His jaw dropped. "Dad?"

"Why don't you care enough to look for me yourself?" Hizashi asked, his eyes saddening. "Don't you ever care about anyone but yourself?"

Neji's eyes widened. "No—Dad! I didn't—"

Then, suddenly, all he saw was black, all around him. It was like he was hanging in the middle of outer space, past where stars hung. He heard voices all around him, taunting him, laughing at him, consoling him. Then, sudden, like a shimmer under water, Itachi was standing in front of him, slowly growing solid. Neji starred as, slowly, Shizuka appeared, still burned, in front of Itachi, facing Neji.

Itachi smirked, reaching around and putting a hand over Shizuka's eyes, making her lean back against him. "She belongs to me, now," Itachi taunted.

Neji's eyes widened. "No!" he shouted, running towards them, reaching, touching, falling…

Falling…

Falling…

"AHHHHH!" Neji sat bolt-upright, eyes unnaturally wide, gasping for breath. Realizing he was in his room, he took a few deep breaths. "Oh, god, that was scary," he muttered, wiping sweat off his forehead with his shirt.

"Are you alright, Neji?" Hiashi called, knocking on his door. "We heard you yelling."

"I'm fine," Neji called, laying down again. "Sorry I bothered you."

He tried for a while to go back to sleep, but, finding he couldn't, he got up and padded over to his computer, signing onto the chat room. Even if no one was on, he could make some technical additions, since Sakkon made him an administrator.

(FateK!ller has joined the conversation)

SnAk3-EyE1989: Hi

FateK!ller: Hi. I haven't seen you in a while, where've you been?

SnAk3-EyE1989: I didn't really feel like chatting, I guess.

FateK!ller: Your spelling's improved. (claps)

SnAk3-EyE1989: It's kind of hard NOT to improve when your tutor is around 24/7, practically.

FateK!ller: That could have something to do with it, yes

FateK!ller: What've you been doing?

SnAk3-EyE1989: Does my private life interest you?

FateK!ller: Don't flatter yourself, I have a girlfriend

SnAk3-EyE1989: What makes you think I'm a girl?

FateK!ller: …Just don't flatter yourself.

SnAk3-EyE1989: When did you get a girlfriend?

FateK!ller: About a month ago, give or take.

SnAk3-EyE1989: Ohhh. Is she pretty?

FateK!ller: I think so

SnAk3-EyE1989: What's she like?

FateK!ller: …Loud

FateK!ller: Controlling

FateK!ller: Kind of a bitch, most of the time

FateK!ller: But she's pretty nice to me, now

SnAk3-EyE1989: Wow, I didn't know you preferred to be uke

FateK!ller: I don't!

FateK!ller: I didn't say she was controlling to ME!

FateK!ller: …Why, does my private life interest you?

SnAk3-EyE1989: Nope

SnAk3-EyE1989: Hey, look at this song

FateK!ller: Ok

SnAk3-EyE1989: You've had your taste of all that's sweet
Now you're through and what does it mean
You've sought the truth, found a lie
You've given up but it doesn't make it right

You wanna go, I know you wanna leave
Ya' gotta go, farther than you see

Chorus:
If you just look past your scars
You will see it's not that far
Don't close your mind
Start to fly
Begin to breathe, Start to fly
Start to fly

Wake up from your sleep,
start your dream
It's okay to believe what you don't see
Give it away, your heart
won't break
This is a chance that you're gonna have to take

You wanna go, I know you wanna leave
Ya' gotta go, farther than you see

Repeat Chorus

Just close your eyes, hold on tight
You don't have to be afraid
I am with you all the time
You'll be free, full of peace
And everything that you need,
it is right there can't you see

Breakdown

Repeat Chorus

FateK!ller: That's pretty

SnAk3-EyE1989: I know

FateK!ller: What was it written about, per say?

SnAk3-EyE1989: I don't know, but it makes sense to me if it's a 'recovery from rape' song

FateK!ller: Why would you need a recovery from rape song?

SnAk3-EyE1989: The lyrics just kind of fit, you know?

FateK!ller: …Yeah

FateK!ller: Hey, do you know anything about dreams?

SnAk3-EyE1989: This is random, why?

FateK!ller: I just had a really creepy dream

SnAk3-EyE1989: Oh

SnAk3-EyE1989: Some people think dreams are the way our brains occupy themselves when we're asleep

SnAk3-EyE1989: but nightmares are usually messages, if it had anything to do with real life

FateK!ller: I can't really decide if it does, or not

SnAk3-EyE1989: People have even said that dreams are messages from a higher being, like a god, to warn us about something. Like a vision.

FateK!ller: Ok, yeah, I just got very creeped out in a short amount of time

SnAk3-EyE1989: Don't worry, that's normal

FateK!ller: Ok, now I'm tired… I'm gonna go.

SnAk3-EyE1989: Okie dokie.

FateK!ller: Don't stay up at all hours again

SnAk3-EyE1989: Blah blah

(-oOo-)

Shizuka was out of school for an entire two weeks. She told Kimimaro ahead of time that she wouldn't be accepting any visitors, and that anyone who wanted to come could just drop in hell.

"I don't like it," Neji said when Kimimaro replayed this message for the fourteenth time (every day for two weeks). "Why would she want to shun us like this? I'm going over there today whether she likes it or not, and you can't stop me, Kimi."

Kimimaro sighed. "I suppose not… just try to be civil? She's been feeling very odd lately."

"I think I'll buy her some flowers, or something," Neji said casually, sitting down on the bleachers during gym.

Ino gasped. "Ooo, I have the perfect idea, Neji! I'll put it together after school and you can come pick it up!"

"Eh…"

"Just come by right after school mmk? Mmk."

Of course, going to visit someone who hasn't been in school for an entire two weeks is always going to leak out somehow. In this case, our leak had a name: Yamanaka Ino. Ino told Sakura, who told Hinata, who somehow told Naruto, who told Lee, who told Kiba, who told Shino, who didn't tell anyone at all because he didn't seem to have the power of speech, thus ending the guest list. But it was a rather long list, granted, and, considering the fact that the majority of this guest list was male, Shizuka was rather traumatized when she heard Naruto's bellowing voice scream "SHIZUKA-CHAN, WE'RE HERE TO CHEER YOU UP!"

She immediately yanked the door open, grabbed Kimimaro, and yanked him back in with her. They heard them argue for a few minutes before Kimimaro finally came back out.

"Shizuka-chan doesn't want any visitors, but you guys can hang out and see if she comes out eventually," he offered with a smile.

"Ok," they all said, everyone but Neji and Sakura heading to the TV room with Kimimaro.

Neji grabbed Sakura by the arm before she could walk away. "Sakura, can you do me a favor?"

"Um, sure, Neji, what?" she asked, clueless.

"Please talk to Shizuka," he begged, his grip on her arm tightening. "It's driving me insane not knowing what's wrong with her. Please get her to come see me, at least?"

He really does care about her… I feel bad for making fun of him all that time. "Sure, Neji."

"Thank you!" he said at once, giving her a quick hug before running after the others.

Sakura turned to the door, smiling brightly as she knocked on Shizuka's bedroom door, holding a bouquet of lilies. "Shizuka?" she called, hoping her smile was conducted in her voice.

"…Yes?" came the pitifully quiet voice from inside. "Oh… Sakura… come in."

Sakura opened the door, finding Shizuka in the fetal position in her bed with the covers pulled over her head. "Come on, Shizuka-chan, everyone is waiting for you to come see us! We were all so worried about you, everyone came! Ino-chan came, and Hinata, and Naruto and Kiba and Lee and of course Neji came, and—"

"I don't think I'm well enough," Shizuka interrupted quietly. "I need to take a bath, also…"

"Kimimaro said you already took six baths by the time he was ready to go to school!" Sakura cried, sitting down on the corner of Shizuka's bed. "Maybe what's making you sick is the hot water?"

"No… I'm not sick..." Shizuka said quietly. "I'm just… always dirty…"

"…How could you be dirty if you took so many baths?" Sakura asked, clueless.

"Because… he treated me like I was dirty." Her voice was barely a whisper. "Like I wasn't worth being treated any other way…"

Sakura starred at the lump under the covers. "Who?"

There was no answer.

"Shizuka, who treated you like that?" Sakura demanded, crawling over and yanking the covers down from Shizuka's face.

Shizuka blinked up at her, then looked away quickly. "…I can't tell you."

"Why not?" Sakura demanded, making her voice sound very mother-ish.

"…Because you tell Ukon everything."

Sakura's jaw dropped. "You think I'd tell him something that you obviously thought was so important? You think I'm that shitty of a friend?"

"I didn't meant it like that… I just…"

"Shizuka, you tell me what's going on right now before I go get Neji and make him—"

"NO!" she said at once, sitting bolt-upright, eyes wide.

Of course, Sakura noticed her eyes, but she was too preoccupied now. "Then tell me what happened!"

Shizuka gulped, and looked to the left, then her eyes rolled down to look at her hands. Then she was silent for a few minutes, as if wondering if she really should say anything. Then, finally, she spoke. "Itachi… h-he… um—" She gulped again, pressing the balls of her hands over her eyes.

Sakura's jaw dropped. Then she closed it. Then she opened it again. Then she shut it and went to sit next to Shizuka, curling an arm around her shoulders while the other girl cried softly.

"I didn't want it to be like that," Shizuka sobbed, leaning her head on Sakura's shoulder. "I wanted it to be special… with someone I cared about… like you and Ukon care about each other…"

"Kind of like Neji cares about you, right?"

Shizuka nodded, her lower lip trembling. "B-But now I'm like a total slut… Itachi thought I was… and now Neji won't like me anymore b-because I-I—"

"So, then, Shizuka," Sakura said coldly, trying something her mother had taught her a while ago. "You're a total slut, who's asking to be raped, aren't you?"

Shizuka looked up at her with streaming eyes. "W-What?"

"You must be! Itachi thought so! Didn't Itachi think so?" Sakura ranted, gaining power in her voice as she spoke each statement. "If Itachi thought so, you must be a slut! And you've got this sign on your forehead now to the entire male community that just screams 'Rape me!' don't you? Yeah, you must have one, because Itachi said so, right? Right?"

Shizuka gulped, her lower lip trembling, but her eyes raging.

Just one more push, Sakura thought, before speaking again. "Now, every time you try to act even the slightest bit sexual, guys are going to jump you because you're a slut, right?"

"Hell, no, I am not!" Shizuka shouted, jumping up off the bed. "I am not a slut! That bastard can eat shit! He doesn't control what I do!"

"But you said Neji wouldn't like you anymore because you're a slut!" Sakura taunted, smirking. Hail provocation therapy!

"Neji's not that shallow!" Shizuka snapped, crossing her arms.

"But if Itachi said—"

"That asshole doesn't run my life!" Shizuka screamed, stomping her foot like a child in a tantrum. "I'll do what I want with my sex-life, and anything he said or says can just drop in hell because I DON'T CARE! DO YOU HEAR ME? I—DO—NOT—CARE!"

Sakura beamed, applauding her. "There, see? Was that so hard?"

Shizuka stopped screaming to stare at her in silence for a few minutes. "You planned that!"

Sakura smiled. "Yep! (heart)"

Shizuka was silent again, starring at her without expression. Sakura began to panic. Oh shit, I just insulted every single ounce of pride she has! She's going to beat the shit out of me! I'd better—

"Sakura, you're my BEST FRIEND!" Shizuka squealed, jumping on Sakura and throwing her arms around her. "Well, my best female friend, anyway. Kimi is my best male friend. But you can have two best friends, and you're one of mine! Thank you, thank you, thank you for saying hi to me at school the first day! Now we're going to be best friends for life because I'm never leaving you alone again, do you hear me?"

Sakura breathed a sigh of relief, and hugged Shizuka back. "Of course we're going to be friends! Like you could survive in the real world without me?"

"Let's go put on sexy clothes!" Shizuka squealed, jumping up and running into her closet. "You can change before you go home, but Ukon'll love it!"

Sakura grinned, getting up and following her friend into the closet. Trying on clothes meant that Shizuka was apologizing for being such a "head case," as she had once put it. And Sakura had just the outfit in mind…

"Hey, Sakura," Shizuka said, pulling on a sleeveless fishnet shirt.

"Yeah?" Sakura pulled on a red mini-skirt.

"You wanna take a belly-dancing class?" Shizuka asked bluntly, plucking a corset off of a hanger and putting it on and turning around so Sakura could zip it up.

"A belly-dancing class?" Sakura repeated, raising an eyebrow as she zipped the corset up. "Where did this come from?"

Shizuka shrugged, picking out a black skirt. "It's supposed to be fun, and it gives us a chance to show off how damn sexy we really are!"

Sakura nearly fell over. "What brought this on?"

"What's the problem?" Shizuka asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're sexy, I'm sexy. We're not fat or bulbous. We should totally take a belly-dancing class! And Ino and Hinata should come too!"

"You're suddenly very insane," Sakura stated, rolling her eyes as if annoyed.

"Ok, fine, if you don't want to show off the wonderful fact that you are, and remain, a woman, then so be it, but I'm sure Ino would want to go."

Sakura laughed at the face Shizuka pulled. It was something between a pout and an "Oh-my-gosh-I'm-cute-how-can-you-say-no" look. "Ok, fine, I'll go. But your dad's paying for it."

"Duh!"

(Sakura's Diary)

Dear Diary,

I gotta say: I'm really proud of Shizuka. She seriously bounced back, and is even more fun now then she was before. She's totally obsessed with Ino, Hinata and I "proving how gorgeous we are". She actually bought Hinata a corset and mini-skirt like the set she owns! And the belly-dancing class she signed us up for is really fun, although Hinata was a little shy, and is still kind of self-conscious. But whenever she stopped moving and started blushing, Shizuka would swoop down on her like a mother hen and say in an overly loud voice meant to be heard by the entire class, "Don't worry, Hinata, we're all just acting like the goddesses we should be!" After that, everyone in the class, even Hinata, got really into it.

We've made a lot of friends in the class, too. There's a lot of older women in the class but also a lot of girls our age, and they all just loved us to bits. Shizuka introduced us to a girl named Maya, who she met in the bell-session. She explained to me privately that Maya was also a victim of rape, and had just gotten out of a four-year abusive relationship, and was only our age. She also told me, rather cheerfully, that she and Maya were going to march in a 'Women Against Rape' or something like that, and that Ino, Hinata and I should join them, dressed as belly-dancers, to "proclaim our sexual independence." Ino instantly agreed, and I agreed because I wanted to support Shizuka, who I know is trying to heal something that, a few weeks ago, she thought was unable to be healed.

The other day, she told me she had tied Neji to his computer chair and made him listen to her tell him exactly what she wanted him to do to "support her new decisions". She said she told him that he would most definitely have to wait for her to make the first move, and that if he did try to make the first move, he would be severely "punished", and she said she left said "punishments" up to his imagination. She also said that she had explained to him very bluntly that she did love him, but that she had to feel totally comfortable with their relationship, or, regardless of love, she wouldn't be able to do it. Afterwards, she said he said "ok" even though he was blushing, like, fifteen shades of red at her forwardness of the subject of their sex-life (however non-existent it may be).

I'm so proud of her!

Dear Diary,

Today was the Women Against Rape march. Before we left, Hinata, Ino, Shizuka, Maya and I put on a show for the guys (Kimimaro, Naruto, Neji, Sakkon, Kidoumaru and Ukon) (Naruto showed up because Neji dragged him, but afterwards, Naruto had to run away with a nosebleed). Afterwards, we had a little time to spare before we had to go, so we decided to relax for a while. Shizuka and I sat on Neji and Ukon's laps, and they promptly informed us that, should we be willing to stay where we were for the rest of our lives, they would have no arguments.

The march was a lot of fun. We walked down a street, surrounded by on-lookers, and the entire march took about two hours, with about three hundred woman, including us. Shizuka told me, about halfway through the walk, that the entire time, she was thinking "In your face, Itachi!" because he wasn't controlling how she felt anymore. At the end of the walk, Neji, the twins, Kimimaro, Kidoumaru, Jiroubou and Tayuya were waiting for us. Shizuka ran over to Neji almost at once and jumped on him, and he talked to her privately for a few minutes. Afterwards, I asked her what he said, and she said he said he was very proud of her for "taking a stand or whatever" even though he didn't know why she did it.

Honestly, for a second, I thought he asked her to marry him, or something!

After the march, we all went back to Shizuka's. Ino and I spent the night, and so did Neji, but Hinata had to go home because she was feeling almost ill from the excitement, and Maya, bless her, had met a really nice boy at the march. Of course, she was only allowed to go out for sibs with the boy after Shizuka had given him the Third Degree about his private life and deemed him "worthy of her fellow goddess".

Shizuka and Ino spent most of the night lying on the floor in the TV room, talking absolutely non-stop, for at least three hours. Ino is totally into the whole "respect women" thing, which works for her, since Kimimaro practically worships the ground she walks on. Kimimaro told Shizuka that he and Ino were "just friends now" but, after Ukon brought out a bottle of sake (just for himself, but we all somehow got a few sips) and Ino had some, she got uppity enough to sit herself on Kimimaro's lap and kiss him a few times.

I think Kimimaro was about to pass out, seriously.

Of course, Shizuka was so pumped up from the march and the fact that Neji had had just a little but of sake and kept giving her all these kisses that she proceeded to relive her past reincarnation as a power drill. Then, at about three A.M., she abruptly fell asleep with Neji holding her, also asleep, and Ukon and I sat up watching movies, while Ino started falling asleep with her head on Kimimaro's shoulder. And poor Kimimaro, who would have been delighted with that outcome, was already asleep.

Dear Diary

It's the next morning, and Shizuka accused us of "disturbing her right to femininity in sleep" when we woke her up at twelve PM. But then I reminded her that we had a bell-dancing class at one, and she got up right away and ran into the shower, and came out wearing her most outrageous outfit (mini skirt, fishnet tights, sleeveless fishnet shirt and tube-top) which showed she was pretty hyper.

Ukon, Kimimaro and Neji joined us in the class that day, and all the other members thought they were just too cute, with their hands over their heads and swaying their hips and acting like they were totally gay. When one of the other girls, who didn't know us, asked Kimimaro for his phone number, he actually leaned up on Ukon suggestively and said "Sorry, I'm with him"! We all cracked up, and Ino pretended to be annoyed until Kimimaro ran out and came back with a bag full of jelly beans, her favorite candy. He's so sweet sometimes! I just want to glomp him!

Even though Shizuka's become even more outrageous then she ever was before, I'm still really proud of her. She told me she still thinks about what Itachi did to her, and that the thought of him doing it again drives her to the point where she almost wants to scream in frustration and fear, but, like she said, she wasn't going to let him rule her life. It's been almost a month and a half since her rape, almost Christmas (even though Christmas isn't a Japanese holiday, she wanted to celebrate it anyway because it was "a reason for Neji to get drunk again", to which he blushed and acted huffy), and she's never had a break-down after the time I yelled at her.

The other day, though, we were all at the mall, and Shizuka and I were looking through CDs, and she happened to turn around, and there was Itachi, standing barely two feet away from her, starring at us. Neji, Ukon and the others were in the store next door, and I was ready to run and get them, but she just smiled, linking arms with me as she gave the CDs another shuffle, then calmly walked up to the register, made her purchase, and then calmly led me into the store where the others were. When she turned around and saw no Itachi, she took a huge breath of relief, collapsing her head on my shoulder and feeling her heart.

"Oh, god, I thought I was going to fuckin' shit myself," she panted, gasping for breath. "Oh god, I was so scared… were you scared? I was scared." Then, she went and latched onto Neji's arm and didn't let go for the remainder of our stay at the mall.

A week or so after she told me about her rape, I asked her, when it was just here and me, in a sleep over, why she was acting so calm about it.

"You have no idea how scary it is, just walking around school," she said at once. "Every time I turn a corner, I think 'Oh my god, he's going to be right there, ready to drag me away!' even if I move in a pack."

When I pointed out that she had reason to feel that way, she shook her head. "I only got raped once. There's other girls, like Maya, who have been in relationships and been raped by men they thought they could trust. I don't have any room to be such a crybaby, because I haven't had the worst time of it."

Then, she whipped a piece of paper out of her nightstand and showed it to me proudly. It made me laugh till my sides split.

I, Hyuuga Neji, promise never to rape Hakai-teki no Shizuka.

"It's a very handy document to have," she said importantly, folding it up and replacing it in the drawer.

"You made him drop blood for that?" I laughed. (A/N: In Japan, in order to show supreme loyalty or trust, someone would make a small cut on their finger and drop blood on a piece of paper. It's proof of trust, and also proof of a bond between two persons.)

"It's a bond of supreme trust that requires ultimate seriousness!" she practically shrieked.

I apologized, and we went back to talking about whatever we had been talking about. (I may not have gotten the details wrong, but the jist is in it)

Dear Diary,

Today during gym, Kiba made the somewhat catastrophic mistake of asking Shizuka why she continuously called every female being around her a goddess. She practically towered over him, spitting fire and brimstone, and said rather coldly and slowly, "Are you saying that womankind do not deserve worship?" He shook his head quickly and she moved on.

Later, on the way to seventh period, I asked her the same question, and she responded in a much nicer tone. She said, rather boldly in front of Neji and Kimimaro, that her womanhood, and mine as well, was "the stuff of legends" and that "every hero eventually becomes a slave to his woman". The fact that we are women, she explained, and the fact that our bodies belong to us, and us alone, makes us sacred enough to be treated as goddesses.

Then, she turned and gave Neji and Kimimaro very pointed looks. They quickly nodded and agreed.

I think I rather like that concept.

(End Sakura's Journal)


Chappie Info!

Inspirational Songs:

Summoning of the Muse, by Dead Can Dance

Start To Fly, by Plus ONE

Blackbird, by the Beetles (lyrics posted below)

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

THIS IS NOT THE END! Please don't think that it is! Oki?

Aku: Why are you being so paranoid?

I dunno, people might think I ended it…

Ok! Authoress responses!

Dragonman180: I had a mouth full of rice and chicken when I read your review, but now, the chicken and rice is all spew. Ew. Oh well. Again, don't worry: Itachi WILL be punished. Just… well… maybe not like that, unless Ukon finds out when he's in PMSing-male mode.

Hinata's Biggest Fan Boy: (Kenshin grin) Thank you! I like writing deep stuff like that, I just hardly ever get the chance to write it, because most of my fics are… not deep enough, shall we say?

NarutoFreak101: I had to put some comedy in or I was going to die… seriously. All serious and no funny makes for an unhappy SNG, no da!

KageNoKatana: O.o If you don't own it, how is he playing it? That's a serious oddity… oh well. (cuddles Yomi) O.o Lion thingy? Oro?

Aku: KNK-DONO!

Andrea: …Peanut? The fuck? Oh well, to each their own, right? Hee hee… she did get help: Sakura! (glomps Sakura) I like her sooo much in this fic, that I do! Oh my… your review was very long… I can't really respond to all of it, because… yeah, I don't always discuss what I'm going to do in my fics unless it's to reassure people… not even H-R knows where I'm going with this… but I do!

RLN and IHN: SHIZITACHI FLUFF MUST DIE! o.O I can't believe I said that… I wouldn't even dream of saying that in Apprentice… You didn't miss Sakura's injuries… I just didn't mention them. My thought is: she's tough, I mean look how fast she recovered in the Chuunin exam from her fight with the Sound Nins, right?

Jazzy Uchiha: The Inu one is… yeah, I highly doubt I'm finishing it.

Ginka: ….white pony? Oro? Actually, I have to honestly say, Shizuka's reaction was a serious Hollywood stereotype. Most women who are raped act very, very calm. So yeah. But Sakura saved her before those feelings could manifest.

Mika: What, you mean you're actually going to FEED him? I would have strangled him by now.

xl-twisted-lx: Aren't those voids amazin'? I just love using them for random scenes like pulling a soccer schedule out of one… they're so handy.

Meggido the Relic Hunter: O.O Don't fee insulted or anything, but… YOU'RE A GUY? O.O… Oh well. SAKURA SAVED HER! YAY! Um.. what else… Your 'punishment' for Itachi had me falling off my chair and onto a hard-wood floor, that it did. Ha ha! But it was worth it, and I don't have any brain cells that would be killed by that collision, so, no worries. And… yes, Meggi, don't slap yourself when you TYPE that you slap yourself…

Crazytreeotaku: Yeah, I like keeping my readers confused… but we're all confused now, so it's all good.

Aku: CTO-DONO!

DreamAnimeKitten: GASP! KIMI PICS! YAY! I've been looking everywhere for them, but I can never fine any! Neji reminded me of a girl, too, but he was only freaking out so much because he really DOES care about her. So cute! Oh my god, Sakkon and Ukon are so hot…

Meg Haze: Violence IS good… but unfortunately, Itachi won't be punished for a while, now… Shizuka still has to get the guts to tell Neji…

Isaac Says Booga: Sorry Gaara was not in it at all this time! I am sorry! Yes! I shall slave night and day to make 300! (mopes) Even though that is impossible… and I still aim to make 20 chapters… which I probably will. I have everything planned out, yep.

AznNarutogrl-91: Hail updates!