Drowning
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you recognize from the wonderful Harry Potter books.
(A/N: Here we go again. Thanks to my beta Saryah, and my great friends Kitty and Kayla.And Alicia who is a grammar Nazi…any grammar mistakes…BLAME HER!)
Chapter Two
Blank Denial
The portrait closed behind me with a click and once again I was alone with my thoughts. Yippee. My fingers skim the cover of the tattered copy of Gulliver's Travels which I still hold in my hand. I'm not really much of a reader, but when you're a loner its somewhat expected. I just give everyone what they expect. In reality, I could care less about Lemuel Gulliver and his lackluster stories that he describes with no emotion. But in a sense, he's a good teacher; considering I need to learn how refrain from showing any sentiments.
I don't know what made me do it. Maybe it was bottled up frustration reaching its peak and exploding like a firework of aggravation. Maybe it was because I was so bloody tired of giving everyone what they expected. Or maybe it was simply the fact that the book was so damn boring. Regardless of the reason, I still chucked my hefty novel over the banister. Down, down, down….
"BLOODY HELL!"
Shit. I grabbed hold of the railing and cautiously leaned forward to see where, or who, exactly it hit. Two piercing eyes were staring right back up at me; I could barely see the pupil of the almost black eyes. Ah, what luck. Sirius Black.
"What was that for, Lily!" Don't seem so shocked, yes he knows my name. We aren't friends or anything but when you're in the same year and house as someone, you cross paths more than you would think.
He was two flights down but by taking large strides with his long legs, within seconds he was next to me with my object of offense in his hand. My eyes remained downcast as he placed the hardback into my frail fingers. I was burning with embarrassment, so after mumbling "sorry", I turned and began to hurry off. See, that's what I get for breaking my norm, for showing my true colors.
I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder and I turn with my eyes remaining on the floor, getting a great view of Sirius' shoes. He placed his hand under my chin and lifted my face to meet his eyes and I once again realize how handsome he is. His dark hair is shaggy but falls somehow gracefully over his eyes, therefore every so often he has to push the strands aside and his intense eyes are once again visible. His facials features are sharp but they light up when he smiles. Once you add his toned muscles and tall stature, he is the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome.
But he had a past. The Black family is a name immediately associated with the Dark Arts. As a child he was taught that Dark Arts was the right way, and to be his only way. Sirius watched his cousins and family before him become Slytherins and follow his parent's teachings in the world of Dark Magic. Once his term at Hogwart's began, he was a shoo-in for the Slytherin House but instead was sorted in Gryffindor. The House of the brave at heart and bold heroes. He tried to stay distant from the rest of the House, and they steered clear from him for fear he may hex them with his Dark Magic. (Which is really quite silly considering he still was only eleven).
But soon after he met good ol' James Potter who did not care about his background. Sirius was a Gryffindor; the Sorting Hat makes no mistakes. And James being his passionate little self preached his family's ways to Sirius.
At first, the thought of kindness to Muggleborns or becoming an Auror was absurd to Sirius but when James believed strongly in something, it was contagious. Soon Sirius and James were inseparable and Sirius' magic was no longer as dark as his name. Sometime along the way Remus and Peter joined their small group of friends and ta-da! The self-named Marauders were born.
Well anyway, back to what's going on. Sirius. Book. Eyes. Got it?
"Now Lily, are you going to explain why I just happen to have a knot forming upon my head from a certain book of yours?" Sirius removed his hand from chin and tilted his head to give me the well-speak-up-missy look.
"Err—I---You see---." Aren't I articulate? Around Scarlett and Remus I shoot out comebacks like mad but around anyone else, I clam up. But Sirius wasn't relenting; he stood there with those intense eyes waiting for an answer.
"I was just….so excited about….. reading the book that I jumped up….and it errr…slipped and fell over the banister. Yup." I smiled at my brilliant answer. Just what they want to hear, a book worm being geeky makes a slight mishap. To my surprise Sirius looked at me skeptically, isn't that what he wanted to hear?
"Well as exciting as," He lifted the book out of my hands momentarily to read the spine, "Gulliver's Travels seems to be, I don't see you as someone who would just jump up to celebrate a book…..or really anything." I clutched the book closer to my chest and turned on my heel to once again flee his presence.
Once again I failed.
"Damn it, Lily. Would it really kill you to have a conversation with me?"
I snapped my head back and replied sarcastically, "Yes, and I'm too young to die."
Sirius gave a grin, "See there's the Lily that Remus talks about." Uh-oh. I wonder what Remus says. This cannot be good. Note to self: Anything said to Remus can and will be used against me.
I kept walking through the corridor until I realized Sirius had caught up and fallen into step with me. Oh joy.
"Sirius? May I ask why you are suddenly so interested in stalking me?"
"Suddenly? Oh, m'dear I've been stalking you for ages." My stomach lurched and my eyes widened.
"W-w-hat?"
"Oh take a joke. Of course I haven't been stalking you. But is it suddenly a sin to wish to speak with a fellow 6th year Gryffindor."
"Yes. It is."
"Oh, I must have missed the memo."
"Apparently, and that's not my fault so if you would please just leave me alone….I'd be most grateful."
"As you wish. But take fair warning Lily, I've seen a different Lily now. You'll be seeing me around more often." With a quick nod of his head, Sirius turned down the next corridor with his hands in his pockets and whistling lazily. Talk about cryptic.
I've got to get out of here.
Sirius was true to his word. For the next week he would stop and talk briefly with me in the hallway or ask for homework help in the common room. Once he even sat with me at lunch when Remus was there.
In all his tries, I kept silent. I didn't want to encourage him.
The thing is I don't want or need another friend. Especially another Marauder. It's hard enough with Remus! But Sirius was persistent, which led me to believe he didn't only want to be friends. But that thought was immediately shot down when I was assured otherwise by Remus.
Goodness, friends are hard work.
I think our strangest encounter took place in late January when the snow was still falling generously and a cup of cocoa was required after returning from the greenhouses for Herbology.
It was nearing midnight and as usual, sleep was not finding me. I made sure my other dorm mates were fully asleep before I swiped my hand under my bed to access the secret stash…No, nothing like that. It's my small confidential collection of romance novels. Okay, so maybe I am a bit of a hopeless romantic but it's my little secret.
Anyway, I then crept across the room to the window so I could have light to read my current chapter of Across the Room. With my outstanding luck, it was overcast so I silently padded across the floor and cringed as the wooden door creaked. Still, I slipped out unnoticed but was frustrated to see that the fire was merely glowing ash. Then all of a sudden a huge flame jumped into the logs and a bouncy fire ignited.
I wasn't alone.
"OW!"
"Will you shut it Prongs?"
"He stepped on my---" then there was a hushed silence, apparently they or it or whatever it was had seen me. WHY COULDN'T I SEE IT?
I slowly stepped down each step until I was level with the invisible party.
Then out of mid air, appeared the one and only, Sirius.
"Ah Lily m'dear, what are you doing up so late?" Sirius asked casually.
"Well," I shifted my weight uneasily, "why are you appearing out of thin air?" Isn't that a little bit more peculiar then the fact that I'm in the common room late?
"You see," He said in a perfect stage whisper, "I'm a very gifted wizard."
I was looking at him skeptically, two seconds away from bursting into laughter. I was anticipating confetti to fall and a huge blinking sign to appear "YOU'VE BEEN FOOLED!"
"But keep it on the down low…."
Then suddenly James, Remus and Peter appeared.
"Oh don't flatter yourself… It's my invisibility cloak." James explained holding out the cool material for me to feel.
Aha…interesting. "Okay well bye…" I turned to make my way back up the stairs when Remus snatched the book out of my hands.
"Across the Room the story of a head strong boy and a misunderstood girl, two lovers admiring from a far. Sounds interesting." Remus smirked as he read the back cover.
"Give it back." I said through gritted teeth. Remus instead shifted it open to the first page and began to read it silently. Remus may be a sweetheart, but sometimes he just doesn't get it.
"C'mon Remus, give back to her." James butted in to snatch the book from Remus' grasp and return it to me.
"Hold on, hold on. Listen to this 'True love isn't rare, it's just seems that way because most are too ignorant to see or accept it. True love is everywhere. In the air we breathe, in the stars we see. Everywhere." Remus gave one of those intuitive 'huh's as I repeated in silently in my mind. That was my favorite quote in the book, I knew it by heart.
"Yeah, yeah. It's Scarlett's I was coming down here to return it to her." I covered.
"Ah-huh, and you two often meet after hours in the common room to exchange books?" Sirius countered.
"Maybe." I replied, hopefully I sounded cryptic.
Mysterious.
We all stood there looking at each other. I think I actually heard crickets chirping.
"So Lily," Peter suddenly piped in, "want to do something wild?"
"Not particularly." I slowly replied, looking suspicious at these four boys. Wild?
"Aw, c'mon. Be a little crazy." Sirius nudged my shoulder encouragingly. See, this is what happens when you interact with people….You get crazy loons like the Marauders egging you on.
"But if you don't want to, you don't have to." James added, to try to make me feel comfortable. Of course it did the opposite. Who does James think he is? Acting as if he knows me. Oh, I'll show him.
"Well what kind of 'adventure'?" I asked, surprising them and me at the same time.
"Well we were just going to sneak down to the kitchens and grab us some food. Maybe hex a few tapestries or knights on the way." Peter smiled in his geeky little way.
"HA! You call that an adventure?" I smiled inwardly at throwing James off guard and made my way upstairs. I heard rustling at Remus, Peter and Sirius threw the cloak over them. "I'm off to bed then, while you play your childish games. Goodnight."
"Goodnight Lily!" The invisible ones chorused and as I turned to wave, James stood there, perfectly visible, smiling in a dazed sort of way. And then within seconds he slipped under the cloak and crept out the portrait hole.
Once I was sure they were gone, I snuck back downstairs and opened my book to where Scott asked Alexandra to dance under the stars.
How romantic.
Apparently the fools got them self caught in their little adventure. Peter had an emergency visit to the loo so when he slipped out of the cloak; the caretaker's cat Mr. Wilkes caught the small bladdered Marauder. And with their code of honor or whatever that they had, the others unveiled themselves. What a load of pushovers.
Anyway, the second worst holiday ever created was approaching…approaching too fast. Passing through the hallways had become an art rather than a task. I had to dodge goo goo eyes and love struck faces left and right. It seems that Cupid's arrow has struck hard this year. But as always, his aim wasn't directed at my pathetic heart. Thank Merlin.
"Hey! Lil the Pill!" Scarlett came skipping over to me as I darted the exchange of a pink and red envelope. Disgusting.
"I resent that, Scarlett."
"Well anyway, I was thinking since Valentine's Day is next Monday—" Oh boy. There it is again. The V word. Its simple sound is detrimental and destructive.
"No." I quickened my pace as I peddled up the steps.
"I didn't even---"
"No."
We turned off the stairs and I sped up to a power walk. Scarlett caught up easily,
"Lily…"
"No!" I cried in aggravation, relenting into a slow and normal walk.
"Ah, I see things are going well for you guys. Great positive attitudes." Remus smiled as he joined our productive conversation.
"What do you want Remus?" I asked exasperatedly.
"Err—well eventually once I leave Hogwarts I'd like to get a little place somewhere. Find a job, meet a lady. Maybe get married---"
"GAH! You two are insufferable!" I threw my arms up in frustration and readjusted the strap of my book tote.
"Ouch." Scarlett feigned a look of utmost hurt, while Remus tried to look wounded but unmistakable laughs continued to emit themselves from his mouth.
"Hmmph." My brow line deepened and I just turned and walked away. Just like that I avoided something else.
Remus really was a quack though.
"Get married", "meet a lady", what a goof. I smiled and shook my head at his crazy yet somewhat adorable answer. I looked up to see to where I was going when all of a sudden my lungs constricted and my eyes went dark. Everything went blank.
My sight.
My breath.
My mind.
Blank.
"Lily?" A familiar voice hovered above me. "Is that you!" The voice was filled with panic and concern.
"No..." I breathed in a hoarse whisper. I didn't know who I was.
Blank.
(A/N: Hey there. Its coming along! I would really like some reviews from all you beautiful people. Theres nothing like feedback to help a writer along. And I completely respect constructive criticism and suggestions are more than welcome! Love you guys!)
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