Well desert dancer and I had great fun writing this. It really did keep us from learning about arthropods and other such nonsense.

disclaimer: We solemly swear that we are up to no good. But, we are not going to you know do that stuff that requires disclaimers. As in, I do not fake credit from J.K. Rowling

and without further ado...

"Hey Ron," Harry greeted as the Great Big Fag Himself slid into the seat across from him.

"Huh? Oh, hi Harry," groggily, Ron poured himself some ice cold pumpkin juice. Harry hadn't seen Ron come into the common room last night. When Harry finally fell asleep at 3 in the morning, Ron and Neville's beds were still empty. He assumed they had a nice time in the broom closet.

"Seen Hermione?" asked Harry.

"She's off with Ginny somewhere. Don't know what happened with Luna, the last time I saw her, she was running around screaming "EEEWWWWWWWWWWW!" Ron answered.


"I cannot believe that that annoying brat is an Occlumens!" fumed Snape.

"But uncle, weren't you his teacher?" Draco asked quizzedly.

"Oh yes," Snape recalled, "Oh yeah……."

Draco snorted, "Exactly how old are you?"

"Shut up Delilah." Snape snapped.

"Potter isn't smart enough to actually become an Occlumens! He never finished his traini-" Snape stopped midsentence. "Oh! Dumbeldore! That horny bastard! Of course he taught him. Well someone is going to be in trouble tonight!" Snape rubbed his hand in anticipation. As Draco shook his head to try to get the gruesome images out of his mind, he wondered out loud.

"Well actually, Potter can't be that stupid. I mean he has defeated my father's idol repeatedly time after time after ti-"

"Do shut up Malfoy, you sound just like a girl," Snape complained, quite obviously irritated.

"But uncle, I am a girl," he replied.

"Oh screw this, Dumbledore, oh Dumbledore," Snape called out. Snape walked out looking for his dear 'mentor'. Draco screwed up his face at the thought of what Snape wanted Dumbledore for and soon followed him out. A chuckle came from under the table, as the light revealed Harry's face. He started laughing louder and maniacally.

"Muah ha ha ha ha! Muah ha ha ha ha! Muah ha ha-OWW!" he yelped as his head banged the table in overeager laughter. Harry grasped his aching head and wobbled out.


Meanwhile…….

"Hermione, I can't work in this environment. First of all, I like a clean workplace, and you clearly have not been taking care of yourself. Second of all, it's just not fun with out Luna." Ginny complained.

"Then go get her," Hermione started singing off key. "I don't know! I don't care! I'm not wearing underwear!"

"Ugh….. all the way next door….." Ginny pondered. "Eh, what the hell."


Meanwhile (in a different time and in a different place)

Dean looked over at the striking Slytherin with straight, shiny dark brown hair up in an eloquent knot. He surveyed her natural curves and elegant poise. He sauntered over to her and plopped down next to her.

"Hey sugar, didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?" he asked cockily.

"Must have been once," she answered, not looking up from her book, "I never make the same mistake twice."

Taken aback, Dean collected himself and tried again.

"So how did you get to be so beautiful?" the foolish boy venture again.

"I must've been given your share," the girl coolly answered back, "I must be going now, so good day."

Shell-shocked, Dean just sat there stunned. Exactly three minutes later, a treacle tart came flying out of nowhere and decked him on the head.


Meanwhile (still at the same time but in a different side of school)

Neville was cradling Ron in his arms watching the sun attempt to dance across the thick, murky, soupy, clogged lake.

"Oh Neville, the picnic's been terrific, but I really have to go get my hair done now." Ron said reluctantly.

"Oh can't you stay just a little longer?" Neville begged.

"Nope. I have to get a pedicure right after," Ron explained. A devious grin came over his face.


Muggle magician- It wasn't supposed to be a great masterpiece. the point was to make you laugh, and hopefully it did. anyways thanks for the review! luv ya

F'Lessan- Thank you sooo much! I'm kinda picky too and thanks for finding that. Thanks for the review.

PJ- thanx! It took us a while because I am really lazy.

Lins! my hunny baby!- I'm going to Florida! lol thanx i like ur reviews.