A/n: As always, took forever to get a new chapter up, and as always, I apologize. I've just been having some hard core writer's block on this story, so it's taking longer to get through (fellow writers, you know how it is...). Anyways, reminder that this fic is intentionally an AU.
Chapter 8
"After that, I rode to Rivendell to find you. I figured the Journiers would either have just arrived, or were to shortly. Either way, I could meet up with you." Shaomer said softly, concluding his tale, and squeezed Ayah's hand lightly.
Ayah's mind was a whirl of confused emotions. Just hours earlier she had decided she cared for Legolas. She'd long since accepted Shaomer was gone. She had loved him, he had passed, she had moved on. Now he was here. Beside her. Thinking they could just pick up where they left off.
She couldn't think clearly, and didn't know what to think. Ayah had an overwhelming feeling of claustrophobia strike her, and pulled her hand from his. "I - I need to think." was all she said, and rushed out of the room.
She ran down the hall, and outside, and past Tarén and Arwen, ignoring whatever it was that they said to her. She grabbed the saddle of her horse, heaved herself onto it, and took off at a gallop. She had no idea where she was going, she just had to get away from here, now.
Legolas trudged along the green and brown trails through Rivendell. What was he doing? Where was he going? Why had he not just told Ayah then and there how he felt? What was his problem?
He sighed and slumped against a large, leafy tree overlooking golden tinted houses, green tinted walkways, and sunlight splashed water. Once again he pulled out the ring and began lightly turning it over in his fingers.
Everytime he got near her his stomach went flopping around his insides and his tongue became non-functional. Did this happen to other Elves? For if it did, they hid it well. Even his own father had always kept the smoothest of faces at all times, revealing small, special smiles for his mother who returned them. He'd never seen his father act giddy or silly, or least of all, tongue-tied in front of his mother.
Legolas sighed again and re-pocketed the ring. This being quiet and in the background was getting him no where. Being uncomfortable when he was trying to say something important had blown up in his face twice in regards to the same person. It was enough.
'From now on, I'm going to be as smooth as a lake with not a single ripple, and as calm as a quiet rain.' he thought.
Legolas stood up, determined not to flub up this up any longer. He was going to find her, and tell her, once and for all. But of course, as always, after that, he had no idea.
Shaomer sighed heavily and stood from his sitting position on Ayah's bed. He'd sort of expected something like that to happen. After all, she had thought he was dead. Dead people don't come back. And here he was.
He shook his head and walked out of her room into the hallway, not about to follow her. He knew she needed time to calm down and think things out, so he would let her have that time.
Arwen and Tarén walked up the front stairs into the home together, both with stunned and confused looks on their faces.
"What happened?" Arwen asked.
Shaomer half-shrugged and half-smiled. "What I expected."
Tarén smiled wryly. "Well, you were dead, after all."
Shaomer nodded. "I know. Stop reminding me."
"Should we go after her?" Arwen asked concernedly.
Both Tarén and Shaomer answered, "No."
"She needs some time to sort everything out." Shaomer said, and Tarén nodded in agreement.
Ayah collapsed on the brilliant green grass up on the Ridge crying. Her head was a muddle of emotions, each screaming for recognition and attention.
She loved Shaomer. She loved Legolas. Why did he have to come back? Why can't he say he cares? I see it in his eyes... Why'd he have to come back? I love him... He was gone... he was the one running after me... he's back... he wanted to tell me something... he's back... he's not dead... I love him...
She clapped her hands over her ears and physically cried out. She took several shuddering, calming breaths, before she considered the things jumbled in her mind again.
She fell in love with Shaomer. He died. She came back, never forgetting him, but letting go to move on. She fell in love with Legolas. Shaomer came back. Old feelings for Shaomer returned, but she still loves Legolas.
Ayah turned her face up towards the cloudless baby blue sky. What was she supposed to do?
Shaomer expected her to love him. Legolas - she was sure - was in love with her too, and thus expected her to love him. How could she love one, without hurting the other? And there was no way she could love both equally. Marry both? Impossible.
Ayah buried her head in her knees, having no clue what to even start thinking about in this suddenly overly complicated situation.
Legolas could see she was up on the Ridge, but something about the way she was told him he should let her be. Her head was on her knees, and he had no idea why Arwen had so urgently called Ayah away. Had a family died? Legolas decided he ought to go find out.
He rode his horse at a trot to Ayah's house, where Arwen was just mounting up to leave. He could see a man in the doorway, and for an overjoyed moment, thought it was his closest Fellowship companion, Aragorn, before he got close enoughand could see it was not. He did not recognize the man.
"Arwen, may I speak to you a moment?" he said in Elvish.
Arwen nodded, and on their horses, the two moved out of ear shot from Ayah's home.
"What happened?" Legolas asked immediately.
Arwen sighed. "He has returned."
"Who? Who has returned?" he didn't give her a chance to answer. "I saw Ayah on the Ridge crying her heart out - who returned?" He demanded.
Arwen glanced at Ayah's home. "The man - that's Shaomer."
"Shao - what?"
"Shaomer." Arwen repeated.
For a moment, the name meant nothing. But then he coldly remembered. The man Ayah had loved on the Journey, who'd gotten killed. Tarén and Arwen had told him about it when he'd gotten back from his time with the Fellowship.
He paled significantly and swallowed the ice lump rising in his throat. "Shaomer?"
"Yes." Arwen confirmed sadly, knowing how Legolas felt about Ayah.
Legolas slowly nodded, and turned his horse away from Arwen and the home and began slowly riding away.
"Legolas?"
He turned his head to look at Arwen.
"Don't be so sure she'll choose him." she said encouragingly.
He nodded numbly, that ice block still hovering painfully in his chest.
A/n: I know, unusually short chapter for this story. But, like I said, I'm just having some serious writer's block and having trouble getting this story on the road...! Thanks for reading, reviews welcome. :)
