When Xander awoke he found that he remembered every moment of his dream. He remembered Cain, Able, Mathew, Gilbert, everyone and every thing that he had encountered.

Slowly, silently, Xander crept out of his room, careful not to wake the others. He knew what he had to do; he just had to find her.

He tried the obvious places first, the grave yard, the hospital, but Sunnydale seemed to be going through an unusual streak of life. Just as he was about to go back home and tell everyone what happened with Dream a familiar figure walked up to him.

"You know we really should stop meeting like this," said Death.

"Yeah, people might think we are dating or something. No offence to you but I just don't see myself becoming one of those brooding people who are obsessed with you," said Xander.

Death simply gave a huge smile that seemed to make everything better before she said, "As much as I'm enjoying this if you have something to tell me, just tell me."

Xander sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "It's about the deal we made."

"You aren't trying to get out of it are you?" asked Death cutting Xander off.

"No, definitely not," said Xander. "It's just after my last adventure with Dream I think something should be changed."

"Sorry but you still need three more agreements before I bring her back, its set in stone."

"Don't worry I'm not trying to change the agreement part, I want to change the bringing Buffy back part."

Death had been around ever since the first one celled organism was formed; it wasn't very often that she was surprised. So when both her eyebrows tried to connect with her hairline everyone with the slightest magical talent took note. "Perhaps you should calm down and explain better Xander."

"Okay I'm going to get the agreements from your brothers and sisters, or die trying. After that though I want Buffy to be the one to decide if she comes back or not.

"If she decides to come back to the land of the living then I'll definitely do the Snoopy dance of joy. If she decides to stay then she should be able to get the rewards she has waiting for her. I just want her to be able to choose, after all she has done she deserves that much."

Death just stared at Xander, her steel gray eyes reading his very soul. After what seemed like an eternity her lips turned into a half smile and she said, "Let me get this straight. You are going to face your greatest challenge just so your friend has the choice of coming back? You would risk your life, death, and everything in-between and be okay if she turned you down and said 'thanks but no'?"

"Uh yeah, I guess I am. I won't be happy if she turns it down but she should be able to choose either way."

Now Death was smiling again, in fact she looked like she was about to start laughing she was so happy. "At times like this it's easy to see why the creator takes an interest in your race, you are full of surprises. Consider it done; I'll give Buffy a choice if you get the last three agreements. No matter what way this turns out it has been a pleasure to be able to talk to you Mr. Alexander LeVell Harris."

"Thanks Death, but could you lay off the usage of my full name, I'm just Xander."

Death just rolled her eyes and said, "I could tell you just what a bonehead you are for making that last comment but I really have to get back to work."

"Oh, okay. I'll see you later then."

"Everyone always does," said Death as she faded away.

Xander walked around for a while before heading back to his apartment. He winced a bit when he spotted Giles' car in the lot. He had known that the others would probably stay, but honestly he was hoping that they would leave before his next journey. Bowing to the inevitable Xander opened the door and was attacked by two whirlwinds, one with red hair one with dark almost black hair.

"Xander I was so worried when you were here when I woke up I thought Dream had taken you. I was so scared that we had lost you too soneverdothatagain!" said the red whirlwind, also known at times as Willow.

"I knew that you would be back but I was still worried. What did Dream say? Did he agree to let Buffy come back?" asked a more controlled Dawn but Xander could tell that she was close to braking.

"Don't worry I just had to take a walk. It's light out so no vamp worries okay?" said Xander deciding that they didn't need to know about his conversation with Death. "And to answer Dawn Dream agreed to bring Buffy back so we only have three left to go."

"That is good to hear," said Giles as he emerged from the kitchen with Tara. "So who will you seek next?"

"Despair," said Xander. "She is the one right after Dream so she is next on the list."

"Despair and Desire are twins so why not go with Desire first?" asked Tara.

"They are twins but honestly I don't think Desire likes me if my love life is anything to go by. I think that if I start with Despair I may have a chance with Desire," replied Xander.

"Tell me Xander how do you intend to enter the realm of Despair? I assume that you already know how," asked Giles.

"Shouldn't be that hard, all I need is a large mirror and some time alone."

While he received some funny looks Xander soon had a full length mirror that used to belong to Joyce. The fact that it caused an ache in his heart showed that it was perfect for his needs.

Placing a hand on the mirror Xander began to remember his life. He thought of every slight, every time his parents got drunk and what they said to him. He brought up memories of his best friends trying to push him out of the group, and comments about how he was nothing more than a doughnut boy. He let every feeling of sorrow he ever had enter into his heart and settle there, he allowed despair to wash over him and the mirror opened and let him into the realm of Despair.

The mists that engulfed Xander as he passed the threshold weighed heavily on him threatening to crush his spirit. He stood but just barely as Despair hobbled towards him.

Even thought Despair was female and naked there was nothing attractive about her. Her figure was squat and bulbous, with grey clammy skin. Her eyes were black marbles, like those of a rodent, set in a face that had jagged teeth protruding from her lower jaw.

As Despair took in Xander she gouged her left cheek with her hook ring, splitting flesh and spilling blood. She did not enjoy the pain that this action brought but it stopped her from being effected too much by herself and let her concentrate on the matter at hand.

"Ask what you have come here to ask and be done with it," said Despair a voice that had decayed from disuse.

"Will you agree to bring back my friend," gasped Xander he fell to the ground.

"Why should I do this? What could you possibly offer me?"

Xander didn't have an answer to that question. In fact he couldn't remember why he was here in the first place. Buffy was dead and his world destroyed, and there was nothing he could do to change that. He was just an ordinary person, how could he possibly expect to go against beings like the Endless.

Just as he was about to give up Xander stumbled across a piece of his heart that was almost completely closed off in this realm. It was small but it glowed, and the more he concentrated on it the more the mist receded. Finally Xander realized that this was the answer he needed.

"I can offer hope," said Xander as he climbed to his feet. "If you help bring back my friend that is as close to me as a sister I can offer hope that your brother may return."

"Destruction left a long time ago, he will not return," said Despair but there was a spark of something in her black eyes that made Xander press the point.

"He may no longer be Destruction but he is still your brother. If you can except that about him then maybe he will return when you need him, just like any big brother would."

The hook which had dug so deep in its path across Despairs forehead it had cut through the bone suddenly stopped. "Do, do you really think he would come back as just our brother?" asked Despair a note of pleading in her voice.

"Yeah I do, after all isn't that what family is about?"

Suddenly Xander found himself back in his room looking at the mirror as it showed Despair. "You have my agreement, now leave me be," said Despair as she closed off her realm to this particular mortal for the time being.

Despair had gone to work once again, the blood that she had spilled being lapped up by her pet rats. Even thought no one could tell by looking at her a seed of hope had been planted in her lonely heart. A seed that she was protecting and nurturing without even thinking about it, and for the first time since the beginning of time a miniscule smile crossed the face of Despair.