Disclaimer: I own zilch, nayda, nothing. So do not complain.
MY version of what happens next...with smut added in. (Grace I would like to point out this is all your fault. And possibly Gavia's.)
The story begins in a small town called Hobbiton, which is full of Hobbits, (surprisingly enough) One of them, Frodo, is writing a letter to his mother...
'Dear mum. Its great here now Sauron is dead and Samwise has another person to dote upon. (It's not I don't like him, he just is too, well... I don't know...clingy). Merry and Pippin are coming over; they have some important news apparently. Anyway, one of my many girlfriends is coming over for dinner. Here she is now.
Your son, Frodo.'
"There, that'll keep the old hag quiet for a week or so." He chuckled to himself and put on the one grin he was very good at, a grin that said that he was mentally unstable and yet new exactly what he was on at the same time (very disturbing). Then he went on about his business and although Merry had said they would eat before they came, Frodo knew that Pippin would profess a much different state of affairs...
Frodo didn't, and never had had a girlfriend. He just said that to keep his mum happy and make her think he would carry on the family name, but, quite honestly, the girls in Hobbiton were just too damn girly. Suddenly, Merry and Pippin burst through the round door, in a huge grinning mass with curls that was the two of them.
"So," said Pippin looking around wistfully" How about lunch then, if it isn't to much to ask..."
"Not at all. Have a seat. So, you said you had some important news..." Said Frodo, wondering what the hell his cousin had done this time.
"Yes we do" said Merry, mouth half full of food" We have decided, to break the law…aaaannnd…he paused dramatically fall in love!"
"It's the ultimate plan," said Pippin, matter of factly, casually slipping his hand under the table onto who knows where," Merry and I are going to go off and fall in love there by damaging Hobbitons peace so much, that we might get...a ...a warning"
Frodo thought about this for a moment, trying to compute fully what had just come out (literally), and then said"Merry, I trust you and Pip are going to broadcast your...erm...new found...erm...love to the whole of Hobbiton? Well, what I want to know is why"
"Cause we are in love. Spending so much time on the back of an Urich Haii really taught us about ourselves, we really bonded, ye know" Merry paused and then asked Frodo tentativly, but with a small, all-knowing smile on his face"I mean take you and Samwise for example."
"What about me and Sam"
"Well, its kinda obvious that… well...maybe you were a bit more than just good friends...?" Pippin said wistfully, picking up on Merry's wavelength.
"NO! NOTHING ever has happened between Samwise and me. U uh, no way José." Said Frodo with a look of complete horror on his face as he visualized this thought…urgh…oh the images…
"Nothing! Ever?" Asked Pippin, with an air of incredulity.
"No, never. And there never will be. I already AM in love" Said Frodo, as a dreamy look passed across his face.
"With who Frodo? With who? Tell us please" Asked Merry and Pippin, heir eyes full of glee at the fact that their friend and cousin might actually be about to get some. They loved dear Frodo an awful lot, but his procrastination in this area was, quite frankly, embarrassing.
"The elf..."trailed Frodo, who was still occupying his dream world, in which not only did the elf reside, but he resided as a strictly kinky elf. Not many people knew that Frodo loved the idea of kinkiness…and I can't believe that is actually a word or it would have come up on spell check. Heh heh, kinkiness…
"What? Legolas" Chorused Merry and his Lover together.
That exact and fateful moment, Gandalf the white walked through the door...
To be continued...
ok...first try, if it was awful please inform by way of review and I will amend my evil ways.
