The quiet on the car ride back was an oppressive, tangible thing. Every time Xander opened his mouth to make things better, the quiet would jump down his throat and strangle his words.
Soon they pulled up to the Summers house. Opening the doors for the girls, Xander decided to try to apologize one last time.
"Willow, Tara, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let you come no matter what you said, I was afraid something like this would happen."
Willow stopped on the steps of Buffy's home and motioned Tara to go inside. "I don't blame you Xander. The thing is, having our emotions played with like that is a big deal, and for me it brought back some very painful memories. It isn't your fault, but it will take me and Tara some time to get over this, okay?"
"Okay," whispered Xander as he got back into his car. On his way home he silently cursed Desire. Not only had it disrupted his plan, it had endangered his friendship with Willow.
His plan. Now that Desire had said no he was forced to do something that he didn't want to. He just hoped that the others understood when the time came.
Xander woke up feeling greatly refreshed. Following the smell of bacon and coffee, he went into his kitchen where he found Dawn fixing breakfast.
"So, the dead arise. Welcome back to the land of the living, Xander. Let me just call the others."
"Come on Dawn I didn't sleep in that late," complained Xander.
Dawn just chuckled and said, "Xander you have been asleep for two days. Giles figured that your body just collapsed after meeting so many powerful beings, the way he tells it only the Creator and Lucifer are higher up on the food chain then this family."
"Two days? Man sorry about that Dawn. I was hoping to have this wrapped up by now."
"Its okay Xander, with Willow keeping her on ice there isn't a big rush."
Before Xander could answer, his door burst open and the rest of the gang came in. Willow and Tara gave him joint hugs just to let him know that everything was cool.
"Well lets have some breakfast and then on to the next Endless," said Xander in a far too chipper voice.
"Where to this time Droopy, another nudie bar?" asked Spike.
"Nope, not this time fangless. This trip I can make from the comfort of my own home."
"Oh? Would you mind filling the rest of us in on which one you plan on going to see this time? There are only two left Delirium, and Destruction. Neither has ever been sought to my knowledge. They simply appear when they wish to," said Giles as he sipped his tea.
"I'm going after Delirium today Giles, Destruction will be a bit more complicated. Besides Del's realm is the closest, I just didn't want to visit it first and get stuck there."
"If you could get stuck there why don't you visit Destruction first?" asked Dawn innocently.
Xander sent a stern glance to Giles before answering, "I have my reasons Dawn Patrol, let's leave it at that."
"Okay whatever. I guess that you want us to leave again don't you?"
"Just the opposite this time Dawn, I need people here to make sure that I don't hurt myself or others."
Later
Xander sat tied to a chair, his friends, and Spike, surrounded him to make sure that he wouldn't do anything he would regret later.
Deliriums realm was the closest and the easiest to get to. All anyone needed to do was scratch at the surface and find the layers underneath.
Scratch
Smelling the color blue while listening to coarse wood and seeing chirping from the other side of the moon. She isn't here/must go deeper.
SCratch
BlUe wind rushes past the dead rain as the frog buzz where are the golden ones that deliver the moonlight on purple water. Not here/go deeper.
scrAtch
Pain hurt, slash them all before they hurt. Sharp knives cut out the pain, sharp enough to cut spirit. Here not/deeper go.
ScratcH
"Are you my brother?" asked the blue and green school of fish.
"Maybe if you want me to be," said Xander as he leaned against the sundial, his mind suddenly clear.
"Always wanted a little brother, tired of being the youngest, it would be nice to be the older one" said the butterflies.
"You'll have to excuse Delirium, she has been thinking of her family lately," said the talking dog.
"What happened to her?"
"Don't know, she has been like this before the planet formed."
"That is too long," said Xander and that is when something truly amazing happened. The realm of Delirium was pushed and shifted away from the girl with rainbow hair by an unmovable, unbreakable rock.
In that instant as the tides of insanity pulled away, Delirium was defined.
A young woman who appeared just slightly older than Dawn walked towards Xander, her sparkling green eyes taking in the scene before her.
Xander lay thrashing next to Barnabas the talking dog, the weight of Delirium crashing against him.
The young woman sat down next to Xander and began to speak in a smooth, assured voice. "Thank you for this glimpse of what I could be. One of my greatest fears was not knowing what I was changing into. I know why you are here, Desire asked me to turn you down, and perhaps that would be the kindest thing to do, but after the gift you have given me I will give you your chance.
"You have my vote to bring back your friend. Now leave before the tides destroy you." With these words the rock vanished from the realm of Delirium.
"Delirium is that you?" asked Barnabas.
The young girl with the mismatched eyes of blue and green with blood red hair just giggled and dissolved into a combination of blue fish and green butterflies.
