Disclaimer: Ack, Do I have to say this again? *sigh* I. Don't. Own. Suikoden. ^_^ Wish I did, though. *drools all over Ace*

A/N: Hallooo! I'm back! (...and a lot faster than I thought I was going to be, too! Hurrah!) Well, here's the second chapter: I hope you like it! ^_^

(Wow, the first section turned out a lot more angsty than I was meaning for it to be... ^^;; whoops. *shrugs* oh well.)

* * * *

I am pathetic.

I am lying to my friends, to my comrades, to everything and everyone that is my life. And yet I struggle forward, plowing deeper into the deceit with every word I utter. I made up my mind the day I discovered I could transform myself with the True Water Rune, but I still can't say whether it was the 'right' thing to do.

I need to do this. I need to live as a normal Zexen, at least for a short while. I can spend eternity being a knight.

But I am pathetic.

Placing my wants above duty, responsibility, and obligations. Placing my wants above my friends... and my loved ones.

But I will do this. Maybe they will understand. Maybe not. But I will do this.

It is too important to me now to back out.

*

"Good Evening, Milady." Chris smiled tiredly at her butler's familiar greeting as she walked towards the staircase.

"I'm off to bed."

"But- without dinner, milady?"

She shook her head. "I'm not hungry, thank you."

"But milady! You must keep up your strength is you are to go and travel alone!" Chris just stopped and looked quietly at her aging butler. "Please just run down to the kitchens to grab some fruit and some bread? I could do it myse-"

Chris smiled reluctantly, and interrupted him. "I will go, thank you sir." She had been far too pre-occupied to even consider food when she had walked in her front door. But her butler was often right, and some fresh bread and milk wasn't sounding so bad.

She arrived at the kitchens and peeked around the doors, suddenly feeling as if she were six again, and trying to steal a snack while the cook had his back turned. She noticed, however, with a twinge of disappointment, that the kitchens were dark and empty. The cook had evidently left for the day.

She stumbled about in the dim light for a couple minutes, trying to reach the pantry without falling or knocking over anything. Her hand finally hit the hard oak of the pantry door, and Chris pulled it gently open. To her great disappointment, it was even darker inside the small lampless room, and the other kitchen lights were too far away to reach now. Sighing at her stupidity, she timidly patted the shelves in search of the familiar smooth texture of the bread-box. Chris was pleasantly surprised when her hand soon thumped against the hollow box. She grinned, yanked open the wooden lid and grabbed two large dinner rolls from the black interior. She closed the bread-box and retreated as quickly a possible from the kitchens, all the while nibbling on a bun, and deciding that it was FAR too much work to go hunt for any milk in the darkness.

*

Chris awoke early the next morning, feeling slightly apprehensive about the enormity of what she planned to do. While she had 'practiced' often with the rune, she had never changed more that one aspect of herself at a time, and had not attempted darkening her -whole- head of hair. But time was flowing on and she knew she had to begin.

She got dressed in some comfortable breeches and a long-sleeved shirt, locked her door, perched herself in a large, comfortable armchair, and took a deep breath.

It had begun.

*

Two hours later, a quarter of Chris' silver hair had been successfully transfigured into a deep mahogany colour, but her bangs were plastered to her temples with sweat from the effort it was taking. Through her haze of concentration, she didn't notice the deep voices drifting up from the front hall. Neither did she hear the muffled footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Lady Chris?" She bolted out of her concentration with alarm and surprise, nearly falling out of her chair in the process. "Could I come i-"

"NO!" She interrupted with dismay. There was a pause. "I'm... packing, and everything is strewn all over the floor. Borus, you -really- don't want to come in."

"...If you say so..." She could hear the slight threads of laughter in his voice. "Well, I suppose that I'll just have to talk with you before you go, then." With a pang of guilt, she heard him step away from the door.

Her silence was his only response.

"You will say goodbye, won't you?" His voice was quiet and soft.

"Of course." 'I'm sorry Borus... I'm so sorry...'

"Alright then... Goodbye, Chris."

"...Goodbye..." Her shoulders sunk in shame as she heard him walk back down the hall.

*

It was a long while before Chris could concentrate enough to retreat into the familiar blackness of the rune.

She felt horrible for lying to Borus and the other knights... but she knew she couldn't risk telling them. They would try to talk her out of it, or stop her. Even if they allowed her to continue with her plan, she -knew- that they had no talent for acting. They would mistakenly reveal her identity by their actions or words, and Chris couldn't bear the thought of the city knowing that she was deceiving them. For as soon as one citizen discovered what she was doing, she knew the rumors would spread like a horrible flood, consuming Vinay del Zexay.

'They'll hate me when I get back.' She thought wretchedly. 'Borus and Percival and Leo and Roland and Salome... maybe even Louis. I've deceived them. I've lied to them...' She bowed her head and closed her eyes, sitting still and silent. 'Just concentrate... Don't think about that yet... ...just... concentrate.'

*

Chris gritted her teeth and forced herself to squeeze a trickle of energy from the True Water Rune. 'Last... piece...' Agonizingly slowly, the hair grew darker and darker. She cut of the energy source at just the right moment, and tiredly dropped the final lock of hair. She felt like she would collapse at any moment: it had taken most of the day just to change her whole head of hair. Even though, with practice, it had become easier and easier to use the rune's power, she had known that it would be difficult... 'but not -this- difficult!' She thought as she forced her drained body off of the chair, and began to tiredly totter towards her bed. Her stomach disagreed, however. It grumbled and groaned and Chris sighed. She was starving. She slowly gained better control of her exhausted limbs as she cautiously headed downstairs, toward the kitchens. She didn't know where her butler was, and the last thing she wanted to do was run into him.

Before reaching the kitchens, Chris peeked out of a window and noticed, with a grin, that while it was slightly cloudy and drizzling outdoors, it wasn't yet dark. No need to fumble endlessly around THIS time.

The kitchens were again empty, as the cook usually got Saturdays off, unless of course, there was some important dinner taking place. She headed for the pantry again, and was surprised to see (now that there was light) that the bread-box was the -only- thing on the shelves. She pulled open the creaky lid, and was dismayed when she found that the two rolls she had eaten the previous night had been the last two rolls in the box.

Grumbling to herself about hired help and grocery shopping, she dragged herself out of the pantry, and removed herself from the kitchens.

She grabbed a large charcoal-coloured cloak from a closet, fastened it, and threw the hood up in order to conceal her hair. She was immediately thankful for the light rain that was falling, for she did not look suspicious on the streets with the grey hood of her cloak up.

*

Anna had been standing in the rain, on the same street corner, for three consecutive hours. She didn't seem to notice that her chestnut hair hung limply around her face, dripping at the ends, or that her olive- coloured cloak was stubbornly sticking to her. She just watched the people pass; a wet, grey crowd on a wet, grey street in a wet, grey town.

She knew what she meant to do. The almighty Captain of the Zexen Knights had a month's break, and was apparently taking a vacation. Alone. She had overheard it in the grimy tavern the six knights would often visit. Anna smiled to herself. While the "Lady Chris" -intended- to make this a short jaunt, Anna had decided that the knight's removal from Vinay del Zexay would be more... permanent.

*

Chris tiredly left her house, glad that the shop wasn't too far away. She decided that she'd grab some apples, cheese, and some bread, then head back home again. She wished to spend as little time as possible out in the public, and her heavy limbs were calling desperately for sleep.

As she turned left around the corner, she just barely heard someone, a stranger, greet her. She smiled and continued, just wishing to make the trip as fast as possible.

*

"Lady Chris." Anna greeted quietly as the knight passed her. She saw the younger woman smile absently in reply, but her gait did not slow. Anna was too shocked to be annoyed at the younger woman's manners... for she -knew- that the famous captain had very distinctive SILVER hair. And this woman, who had most definitely been the captain herself, had a tiny lock of dark brown hair dribbling out from under her hood. Anna just stared after Chris, watching silently as the knight tucked her hood more securely over her face, hiding the mysteriously coloured hair, and continued to stare as Chris turned into a shop two doors down from where Anna stood. "Well, this is certainly an interesting... development..." She muttered quietly to herself. "We'll just have to look into this, now, won't we?" Anna leaned back against the wet stone of the building, arms crossed across her chest, waiting and watching.

* * * *

A/N: Anna's motives will be made clear gradually: this was just her introduction, after all! ^_^ So now one person knows about Chris' identity... the second one I mentioned in the summary isn't going to come until a little later. ^_^ Any guesses?

My plan for this chapter included a little more Borus, but he got shoved into chapter three instead, because I liked where this chappie stopped. *pats Borus on the head* It's ok... we still love you! ~_^

I'm sorry if this chapter was boring... things will start to pick up soon enough- I promise! ^_^

Now, dear reader, I know that you are such a nice person... so REVIEW! Pleeeeeeease? ^_^

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I officially adore the following people: ^_^

Sindaaraniel: Nice name- is it LOTR influenced? ^_^ Well, I have continued thus far... but a shirtless Yuber? Hmmmmm... Could I have a shirtless Ace? *drools* Now THAT would make me continue... *goes off into la-la land, thinking of Ace* *hits head on desk* Bad Revia. BAD. ~_^

Crimson Rogue: There just aren't enough Chris/Borus ficcies out there! Yay Chris/Borus! ^_^

Reemossa: I'm glad you liked chapter one- hope you like this one, too! ^_^

***Thanks SOOO much for reviewing!***