Xander groaned as mourning sun creped into his dirty hotel room. When it became apparent that this beam of sunlight was a particularly stubborn one that would follow him not matter how he turned, Xander decided it was time to get up.

After dressing Xander decided to take advantage of the free breakfast the hotel had advertised. What he was handed was something that Xander would not, could not, consider food. After five bites Xander determined that this was some kind of poison that the English created to rid themselves of American tourists. Deciding that this was a good a reason as any Xander opened the backpack he had brought down with him, and opened up his emergency box of Twinkies.

"Those things will kill you ya know," said a voice from behind Xander.

Turning around Xander saw John Constantine about to light up another one of his cigarettes. If anything John looked more unkempt after a nights sleep than he had when Xander had first met the man.

"And those things are going to improve your health," said Xander as he took a defiant bite of the Twinkie.

"Better than those things," responded John. "Least my poison has a few natural substances in it like tobacco. The things you are shoving into your mouth are about as natural as a stripers breasts."

Xander nodded, conceding the point about the ingredients that made up his favorite snack food, but refusing to completely give in. "It was either golden goodness, or what this place is trying to pass off as a meal," Xander explained.

This time it was John's turn to nod. "Back in eighty-nine the owner was using homeless people as a source of cheep meat. By the look of what's in front of you the new owners may be doing the same thing."

Carefully putting the Twinkie box back into his backpack, Xander decided that one was more than enough for now.

"So what did you do to the last owner?" asked Xander

John just turned dead eyes toward Xander and said, "Every mourning when the bastard wakes up he feels like he is being eaten alive. This will go on until he finally wakes up in hell."

Xander didn't have much to say to that. Making a mental note not to ask any of Rippers friends what they have done after eating Xander simply nodded, hoping to end this unpleasant conversation.

"Anyway," said John after taking a long drag from his cigarette. "The reason I came down here was to warn you that this little adventure of yours is in serious trouble."

Xander just gave John as slight smile and said, "We are probably in more trouble than you know, but for the sake of staying alive tell me the problem you spotted."

"Well first off, thank you for fulfilling my daily quota of dread for the day. Second, you should know that your boy Tim isn't exactly welcome in Fairy. The Queen of the realm has a real mad on for the kids hide."

"Which queen?" asked Xander.

"What do you mean 'which queen'? There is only one, Tatiana, Queen Bint of Fairy, that's who."

"Oh, her," said Xander as he began to relax. "Don't worry about it, I wasn't planning to go into her territory."

"This is the sodden queen of the fairies we are talking about her mate, there isn't a part of that world that isn't her territory," said John as he became more agitated by the moment.

"Not really, it just seems that way. Listen, you know about alternate realities right?" asked Xander. When John nodded Xander continued, "Okay for every alternate Earth there is a Fairy existing as a subdimension acting as a magical base for that Earth. Now the kicker is the different Fairy's aren't fractured like the different Earths, they all exist together. In fact the reason that some people and things can travel from one dimension to another is because Fairy keeps all the Earths close enough together."

John simply nodded and said, "Makes sense, let's just hope you're right."

Xander agreed with John's sentiments more than he cared to admit. Wishing that he could say that he wasn't getting his information from what equated to voices in his head, Xander decided to let the subject drop.

"What are you two doing up so early?" said Tim as he finally came to join John and Xander.

"Just thought we would have some breakfast before heading out," said John as he finished his cigarette.

"He know about me and Fairy?" asked Tim jerking his head toward Xander.

"He knows, and if he is right it shouldn't be any trouble. Course if he is lying to us we can use him as a distraction while we make a break for it," said John.

Xander made an effort to suppress a shudder. While it was said in a joking tone, somehow Xander believed that John would slit his throat if it Xander had crossed him.

"I better call a cab to take us to our next stop," said Xander as he began to get up from the table.

"No need, Chaz can take us where we need to go. Just get packed and make shure we are going the way we should be," said John.


"There it is," said Xander with no small amount of satisfaction in his voice.

"Well I'll be," said Chaz. For the past hour the cabbie had insisted that there was no town called Wall within an hours drive of London. Deciding to attempt to salvage some of his pride Chaz quickly said, "No wonder I didn't know about this place, its so small I doubt it even qualifies as a town."

"Who cares so long as we're here and I don't have to listen to you two bicker like old ladies any more," said Tim as he got out of the cab.

John simply smiled as he took the supplies out of the cabs trunk. In his opinion it was fun to watch Chaz moan to someone else for a change.

"Well we are here, now what?" asked Tim as he shouldered his backpack.

"Now we get past two men with clubs, and enter Fairy," said Xander as he got his own supplies.

"Yeah, I gathered that much. What I really want to know is what we will be looking for once we get there."

As soon as Tim finished talking Xander stopped dead. Turning he looked Tim in the eye and said, "Never ask me that again. If I think about what you asked me chances are I will set off a magical trap that will kill us and take innocent people with us. If you cant contain questions like that then leave now."

"Leave him be," said John putting a hand on Xanders shoulder. "You didn't tell us not to ask, so don't get mad when the boy asks a good question."

"Sorry Tim," said Xander as soon as John's words sunk in. "I guess I'm a bit on edge about this."

"Right, now that all this touchy feely crap is over with, lest convince those two men with the large clubs to let us pass," said John with a very frightening grin.

"Sorry, this field has just been fertilized, and I'm afraid that we can't let you pass," said one of the aforementioned men with clubs.

"Come now, you look reasonable men. Tell you what, you let us pass Mr. Monday and we won't tell your dad what you did to your sister behind the store when she was eight."

The man who had spoken went chalk white and began to step to the side. The man who hadn't spoken stepped directly in front of the hole in the wall, and raised his club.

With an arrogant smile that reminded Xander of Spike, John lit a cigarette and said, "Now don't do anything rash here. After all you wouldn't want your wife to know that its her brother you picture every night while the two of you are in bed together, now would you?"

The man didn't step away like his companion, but griped his club harder. Realizing that the man was probably going to bash John's skull into a fine paste like substance Xander got into a fighting stance. His first priority would be to get John away from the club, then take out the guard.

"Drop it, they're exempt," said Monday.

"Did you hear what he said to me?"

"I did, and I heard what he said to me. If him knowing what he has no right to know doesn't convince you he has a right to be on the other side, then take your swing. When he or his friends shove your club so far up your arse you can taste it, maybe you will start listening."

"It's a bloody lie," said the man as he began to step away from the hole.

"I know, same as the lie he told about me. Way I figure it its best if we get them as far away as possible, and you can't get much farther than the other side of the wall."

Moving with barley controlled rage the unnamed man moved completely away from the wall.

"Come on then lads, lets not keep the gentlemen away from their posts any longer than the have to be," said John with that same arrogant smile.

Deciding it would be unwise to push their luck any further Xander and Tim followed John to the other side. By the death threats being flung at them as soon as they were in Fairy, Xander decided that it would be a good idea to find another way back to their world.

"This doesn't feel quite like Fairy," said Tim.

"Good that means that we don't have to worry about Tatiana trying to kill us. All we have to worry about is making through the dark forest filled with unspeakable creatures that want to eat us," said Xander.

"That all, sounds like a better time than my last date," said John.

"So how are we supposed to get through the woods?" asked Tim.

"We just need to find our path. Look for something small, preferably with your own foot prints," said Xander as he knelt down and started looking.

Having learned long ago not to question odd statements when magic was involved John and Tim knelt down and started looking. Luckily for them it only took a few minutes before Tim found a print that matched his perfectly. Soon they were walking along an almost not existent path, going slowly to make sure they didn't leave it on accident.

"I think I see a better path," said John after a few hours of walking.

"Ignore it," said Xander. "It may be a trick, but even if its real we shouldn't take it. That path is for everyone, if we take it then it would take us years to get where we need to go. This one may be small and dangerous but it should get us where we want in a couple of days."

"Hard and dangerous it is then," said John. "So anyone feel like singing one hundred bottles of beer to pass the time?"


As the day came to a close the path brought three exhausted travelers to an inn. Decided that the prospect of a place to rest far out weighed any danger, they began to make their way towards the warm welcoming glow of the buildings windows.

"Bloody hell, my feet are killing me," moaned Tim.

"Don't blame me I told you that those shoes probably weren't good enough," said Xander as he dragged himself to the desk.

"Can I help you?" asked the owner.

"How much for three rooms?" asked Xander as he began to dig into his backpack.

"Five gold," said the old man. He usually would only charge three, but the travelers were odd, and possibly dangerous.

Hesitating for only a moment Xander pulled out five gold coins. It was half of what he had, but he could feel that they were half way there, perhaps even more.

"Okay you two, get some rest, we still have a way to go tomorrow," said Xander.


The next mourning when Xander was enjoying the breakfast that the inn had provided, Xander allowed himself to take a good look at the place he had spent the night. The place was sparsely decorated, a fact that drew more attention to the painting hanging on the far wall.

"Like it?" asked the innkeeper when he saw Xander gazing at the painting.

"Yeah, who is it?"

"That is King Tristan, and his wife. Before they assumed their throne they stayed here a couple of times. They were so impressed with us that they gave us the painting so we would have proof that a king and queen stayed here," said the man with a voice full of pride.

"Its very well done," said Xander not taking his eyes off the painting. There was something about the queen that seemed familiar to him. He racked his mind trying to put his mind on it with little success, when it came to him the same way many secrets had been coming to him recently.

"She's a star," whispered Xander almost reverently.

"Well she is pretty enough to be," said John startling Xander.

When Xander turned around he saw that not only were both Tim and John up but they were already half way through their breakfast.

"So thinking of bringing some local talent back to California with you?" asked John between a mouthful of lamb.

"No, she's just… Nothing, its nothing," said Xander.

"If you say so," said Tim. "So how much further do you think we have to go?"

"Another days hike to reach the exit from Fairy, after that who knows?" responded Xander.


Another days walk and true to Xanders word they found themselves at a gate out of Fairy, a fact Tim was very grateful of.

"Finally, I thought we would never get out there," said Tim as he unrolled his sleeping bag onto the ground.

"That makes two of us," said John as he did the same. "So where to now fearless leader?"

"London," said Xander as he closed his eyes.

At Xanders one word response both England natives were temporarily struck dumb, the cigarette falling from John's mouth. Finally Tim recovered enough to ask, "Do you mean to tell us that we hiked for two days, just to get back where we started?"

"Kind of, I'll explain more in the mourning," said Xander as he drifted off to sleep.

"John?"

"Yeah, Tim?"

"I'm beginning to really hate Americans."

"I know, me too."