Disclaimer: I don't own HP. But you should. Who said that? I did, my precioussss! Now I really know I'm going crazy. You knew that before darling, you just didn't want to admit it. Hmmm... whatever. Are you good for anything? No, not really. Then get the hell out of my head asshole. You just called yourself an asshole, ya know? Oh, shut up, please.

The beginning of chapter one.

It begins like this. It was a nice, sunny, hot mid august day.

Who are you kidding? Who ever said hot was nice? I'm turning into a puddle up here.

Shut up. As I was saying, before being kindly interrupted, it was a nice, sunny, hot mid july day.

You just said it was august and now it's july? Decide already! This is boring.

Life is boring, get used to it. As I was saying it was a not nice, very hot, sunny, mid summer day. Our story begins in the house of the young Harry Potter.

He is as old as you. How can you say he's young? You always complain about you being too old.

I'm only saying this to interest the readers.

What readers? You don't have any!

Shut up. As I was saying…

Will you stop saying as I was saying?

… as I was saying, Harry Potter was about to get up. It was almost noon and he had to get up. He knew Aunt Petunia would be mad if he didn't do his chores on time. And it's always better not to get Petunia angry.

Why?

Why what?

Oh, nothing. Forget about it.

No! What did you want to know?

AsI said… nothing.

Spit it out already! Stupid bitch in my head! First you annoy me, then you ask stupid questions, and now you just go nothing on me. No fucking way! You're gonna tell me what you wanted to know now! Stupid bitch.

Life is a boring bitch, you forgot to say earlier. Get used to it.

That's enough! I'm not going to take it anymore!

Awww, what is it now honey?

Get out of my head! Get out, get out, get out!

goes all mad, tumbles the drawers, finds her wand, placing it on her head

Hey, wait what are you doing?

Getting myself rid of you once and for all! Evanesco!

woosh

frejlrtre ljkajalemc

so that why she ain't got no brain

The end

Btw, this was about how some writers lose their mind, mentally and phisically... wonder why I wrote it? got bored...