Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, the credit for that goes to Josh Schwartz. Grr.
A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! They are very much appreciated, and really do help the writing process. So please, keep them coming. : )
Chapter 5
Seth made it to the docks in record time, breaking a few traffic laws in the process. But as long as he didn't get caught, he didn't really care. He just needed to see Summer.
And there she was. Sitting in his boat, with her arms around her knees, her shoulders heaving as she silently cried. He ran over to her, stepping onto the boat and gently gathering her in his arms.
Summer's silent tears turned into full-out heaving sobs as she felt a Seth's arms wrap around her. She buried her face in his chest, clutching his shirt tightly with both hands as she cried out all of her anger and frustration on her dad. Seth rubbed her back in soothing circles and kissed the top of her head.
Summer's sobs gradually died down until she was completely quiet and still in Seth's arms. Seth thought she might have fallen asleep until she abruptly pulled away from him.
Summer tuned her back on him, wiping her face and trying to fix her hair. She silently cursed herself for not using waterproof mascara, now she probably looked like a racoon.
"Summer...hey..." Seth reached for her arm but she snatched it away.
"I don't want you to see me like this," she moaned. "I look horrible."
He reached out for her again and pulled her back into his arms. Summer yelped and covered her face with her hands.
"Summer, come on. I don't care how you look."
She let out a muffled "hrmph".
"Summer please look at me?" He pleaded.
She shook her head.
Seth tried pulling her hands away from her face but she wouldn't budge.
"If you don't stop that I'm going to knee you somewhere very painful," she threatened from behind her hands.
Seth leaned forward and whispered into her ear. "Just as long as you kiss it and make it better," he said suggestively.
Summer hit him on the chest and Seth seized the opportunity to grab both of her hands. He held onto them tightly, grinning at her in triumph.
Summer's eyes widened at what he had done. He had tricked her!
"You...you..." she glared at him and struggled, trying to pull her hands away. Seth was stronger than he looked, however, and kept a tight hold. Summer cried out in frustration and surprised Seth, and herself, by abruptly leaning forward and capturing his lips in a hungry, passionate kiss.
Once the initial shock had worn off, Seth returned Summer's kiss with equal fervor. He let her hands go and wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her closer to him. Summer ran her newly-freed hands through his hair, loving the feel of his soft curls between her fingers.
The kiss turned from passionate and needy to gentle and soft as both of them struggled to regain their breath without losing contact.
Seth left her lips to begin placing soft butterfly kisses all over her face. Her forehead, her closed eyeids, her nose, both of her cheeks, her chin. He left no place untouched. Summer sighed and completely relaxed in his arms.
He pulled away slightly and looked at her, taking in her messy hair, her red puffy eyes, cheeks stained with black mascara, red nose, and flushed skin.
"Summer, look at me," he said.
This time she complied.
"You're beautiful," he whispered. "Absolutely perfect."
He said it with so much feeling and so much emotion that Summer couldn't help but believe him. Her eyes welled up with tears all over again because she knew that she didn't deserve this kind of open adoration and devotion. Especially not from him.
"Hey," Seth said in alarm. "Don't cry." He gently brushed away the tear that had fallen down her cheek.
Summer situated herself between his legs and leaned into him, once again wrapping her arms around his waist. He buried his face in her hair, breathing in the coconut smell that he loved.
"So..." Seth began hesitantly. "I take it he said no?"
Summer shook her head. "I can go. He just doesn't care. He's going to be in Europe for a month."
"I thought it was just two weeks?"
"Megan wants to travel some more," she said bitterly.
Summer turned around so that her back was pressed against his chest, and leaned her head back on his shoulder. She shivered and he wrapped his arms around her protectively.
"He's not going to be here for my birthday," Summer said sadly.
Seth looked down at her, at that moment she looked so incredibly young and vulnerable curled up in his arms, like a little girl. But at the same time her eyes, her voice, her body held a sadness, a weariness that was beyond her years.
"I don't understand," he said slowly. "I thought your dad was your best friend..."
Summer was going to launch into her usual defense of her father that she'd been feeding people for as long as she could remember, but then decided it just wasn't worth it anymore. She was tired of defending her father, tired of living with the illusion of what she knew he could never be. She didn't want to lie to herself anymore and she didn't want to lie to Seth.
"When my mom left," Summer began. "I just clung to my dad as hard as possible. I was so afraid he would leave me too and I'd be all alone. He's not always so distant, you know? We have good times where he actually does feel like a dad. The week before he married Megan, he took me to Disneyland and we spent the whole day there," she smiled wistfully.
Seth listened intently, completely in awe of this newside of herself that Summer was showing him.
"My mom didn't love me enough to stay," she continued, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I just wanted daddy to love me. I wanted to have what Marissa had with her dad, and for the longest time I made myself believe that I did.
"But he doesn't love me. He doesn't care. I could say 'hi daddy, I'm going to jump off a cliff today' and he'll just say," she imitated a deep voice. "'That's nice sweetheart. Do you need money to buy a pretty new dress for the fall to your death?'"
Seth would have laughed at that if it wasn't so sad. He hugged her tighter but didn't interrupt, he knew that she needed to get this out.
"Megan once said that I was a bitchy, spoiled brat that nobody could love and that's why my mom left and why my dad is always at work, why Marissa doesn't hang out with me as much anymore. And...and why you left."
Seth's eyes widened. Summer's stemom had said that? He could feel the anger coursing through his veins. He wanted to slap her, and he wanted very badly to punch Neil. This was enough, he'd heard enough. He turned Summer around and cupped her face in his hands.
"Summer, screw them, okay? Your parents and Megan all have their own issues to deal with that have nothing to with you. If they can't see this wonderful, beautiful person in front of them then it's their loss," he wiped away the tears falling down her cheeks. "Don't you see what you've done? You've raised yourself to become a strong, confident, intelligent, caring, loving, loyal, and incredible person."
Summer cried harder. She couldn't believe that Seth saw all of that in her, yet she knew that he meant every word. And she knew she didn't deserve it. She had been horrible to Seth his whole life and he only had the best things to say about her.
As if he could read her mind, Seth continued. "I wish that for just one day you could see yourself through my eyes. You are not the reason I left last year. You were the one thing that made Newport bearable or me before Ryan came, and you were the one reason I wanted to stay. But I was stupid and idiotic. It wasmy mistake, Summer, not yours. You are not unloveable, don't ever think that. Because..." he took a deep breath. "I love you."
He leaned his forehead against hers. "I love you so much," he whispered.
Summer closed the small distance between them and kissed him. She got on her knees and kissed him deeply pouring her heart and soul into it, hoping to convey everything that she was feeling.
"I love you too," she murmured against his lips. They were the three words that were the hardest in the world for her to say. But she knew that she had to say them. She didn't like talking about feelings, but the sheer magnitude of what she felt for Seth was so overwhelming that she couldn't keep it all bottled up inside of her anymore. She needed to tell him. And it was completely worth it to see his eyes light up and that big goofy grin, that she loved, spread across his face.
He wiped her tears away. "No more crying, okay? You might sink the boat."
Summer hit him but couldn't help the giggle that escaped. "Co-hen..." she whined.
"I see a smile," he teased, tickling her sides.
She pushed his hands away. "Sto-op," she laughed.
"What's the magic word?"
"You're an asshole."
He laughed and continued tickling her. "That's not it."
"Shitface!" She squealed.
"That's not it either."
Summer was giggling uncontrollably now, she once again tried to push his hands away but to no avail. She hit him hard on the stomach, knocking the wind out of him.
Seth doubled over, clutching his stomach. "Geez Summer," he gasped.
She grinned in triumph. "You know better than to tickle me."
Seth continued to wheeze in pain and Summer's grin faded. "Oh my God, did I hit you that hard? Baby, are you okay? Does it hurt bad? I'm so sorry..."
Seth looked up at her to reveal that he was actually laughing, not keeling over in pain.
"You jerk!" Summer yelled at him.
Seth laughed harder and Summer moved to the other side of the boat, turning her back to him and folding her arms across her chest.
Seth crawled over to her, he moved her hair out of the way and placed a kiss on her neck. He wrapped his arms around her and she stiffened, not wanting to give in. Seth licked and nibbled the spot on her neck that he knew she liked.
"Co-hen..." she whined. "Stop that."
"Why?"
"Because I'm trying to stay mad at you," she said petuantly.
Seth laughed and lay down, pulling Summer down with him so she was lying on top of him. He held her close, his arms around her, and her hands in his, their fingers intertwined.
"Cohen?"
"Yeah?"
"What did your parents say?"
"They're still talking about it, I guess. But I think I've got my dad convinced. And it's only a matter of time before my mom caves," Seth said confidently.
"I love looking at the stars," Summer said dreamily.
Seth smiled to himself. He always used to take this boat out at night to stargaze. He would imagine that Summer was lying with him, because stargazing seemed like something she would like to do. It gave him extreme satisfaction to know that he was right.
"I can never make out the constellations, though."
"There's the Big Dipper," he pointed.
Summer squinted. "Where?"
Seth took her hand and helped her trace the pattern of the handle and the cup.
"Oh!" She said excitedly. "I think I see it."
"The Big Dipper isn't really a constellation though. It's an asterism, a distinctive group of stars."
Summer tilted her head back to look at him. "Do you do this a lot?"
"I used to," he said. "Looking up at all the millions of stars somehow made me feel less alone."
Summer wanted to apologize, for ignoring him for so long, for not seeing how much of an incredible, wonderful person he was sooner. But she knew that he neither wanted or needed to hear it. So she just lifted his hand up to her lips and kissed it tenderly.
"Will you show me more?" She asked. "On our trip, I mean."
He smiled at her. "Of course."
Summer smiled and settled back in his arms. She yawned and felt her eyes drift close as Seth started babbling.
"You know, the Big Dipper was an important part of the Underground Railroad. It helped slaves escape from the South before the Civil War. I don't knowwhy I remember this exactly. It's kinda random and not very useful trivia. I think I saw it on the Hisory Channel, which proves that televisioncan be edcational..." Seth trailed off when he looked down and saw that Summer had fallen asleep.
"I love you," he whispered and kissed the side of her head. He held her tightly as he gazed up at the stars. Years ago they were his only companions on his lonely journey, now they were the millions of witnesses to his utter contentment and happiness.
