"So, I don't know what she was thinking, but I thought that this was an opening for something," James said. "Am I wrong? I mean, I felt a huge burden off my shoulders, like I admitted all my feelings I've ever felt for her after the kiss. Then she just leaves without a word. Should I have chased after her? It didn't feel right at the time. I didn't have anything more to say, and neither did she, apparently. I don't know how to make her understand how much I love her. What do you guys think?" James looked around his little audience and realized how weird that these people were here for him. He looked at Sara (who pretty much hated him, but wanted Lily to be happy), Freddy (who seemed to be over his little Lily crush, and sat close to Sara), Remus (who was finally out of the infirmary), Olivia (who caught him cheating in the first place), and Sirius (who just wanted to get his two bloody friends together).
"Well, obviously you have to not have any –and I mean any- romantic affiliations for a while to show that you can resist temptation," Sara said.
"You should definitely shower Lily with romantic gestures, that way there is no doubt whatsoever in her mind that you love her. She has to know, otherwise nothing will happen," Freddy said, "Trust me."
"I think that you should do well on your grades and stay out of trouble. It will show your commitment," Remus said. "Plus, you could probably use a little extra time on your grades."
"Grades are very important, but you should also make sure you are extra polite to everyone and pulling no pranks whatsoever," Olivia said. "That includes Dungbombs in the middle of History of Magic."
"Just go up and plain out ask her," Sirius said. "Why beat around the bush with this stupid 'show her' stuff? Just bloody talk to her, mate!"
"Talk to her? What would he say? 'By the way, I like you'? How stupid would he look?" Freddy said.
"No more than usual," Sirius replied without missing a beat.
"I can see what caring friends I have," James said getting up. "I think I'll go figure it out for myself."
As he left he heard his friends yell last minute suggestions at him. He went down and walked around the Quidditch field. He always had felt his best here before, but now not so much. He walked over near the lake. He saw something near the lake, but he wasn't sure what. Being a Seeker, he noticed the glimmering of a watch, as he got closer. 'It should be human,' James thought as he quietly took out his wand. He was so swift and quiet; he got very close to behind the creature before he announced himself by saying, "Lumos!"
"Ahhhh!" a scared Lily shouted and jumped back.
"Lily?" James said, lowering his wand. The more he looked at Lily, he realized she had just been crying and it looked like a river had streamed down her face.
"What do you, James?" Lily asked defensively. All the suggestions ran through his head. No romantic affiliation. Shower her with love. Stay out of trouble. Be polite. Just talk to her. "James, what do you want?" Lily asked again, getting more courage.
"An answer," James said.
"What?" Lily asked. "What do you mean an answer?"
"A definite answer. No go backing. I want to end this dance," James said.
"James, what are you talking about?" Lily asked.
"Stop playing dumb. If you are as smart as I think you are, you would know I'm talking about us," James said.
"There is no us, James," Lily said. "There is only you and I. Two separate people."
"Is that your answer?" James asked. "I don't want to have to come back to this place where I don't know if you like me or not or if you are just teasing me."
"You want a definite answer," Lily said.
"Definite, no going back," James repeated.
"I don't know how I'll feel in the future," Lily said.
"Are you saying there's a chance you'd want to go out with me in the future?" James asked Lily.
"I don't know," Lily said.
"Well that isn't good enough," James said. "Make a decision, Lily, and stick with it. I don't want to be your consolation prize, the person who is just always here and I don't want you to be mine."
"You mean deicide now forever?" Lily asked.
"Yes," James said after a moment, afraid of what the answer would be.
"I'm afraid I can't do that," Lily said.
"Why not?" James asked.
"I don't know exactly how I feel about you now, how am I supposed to know for the future?" Lily asked. "How can I know?"
"So you want to just drag me along until you figure it out?" James asked.
"I don't want to treat you like that," Lily said.
"That's how I feel like I'm being treated, and to be perfectly honest, I hate it," James said. "What is so hard for you?"
"I didn't like you before lunch," Lily said. "If you had asked me then, I would have said no without a doubt in my mind. Then you capture me and let me babble on and on and on. What do you do to stop me? You kiss me. You kissed me, James, and you wonder why I'm confused? You kissed me and didn't say a word, and you feel badly about how I treat you?"
"I, at least, know my feeling and was willingly to share them with you," James said.
"So you do like me," Lily said quietly.
"Yes, Lily, I like you goddamn it! I have liked you since we started going out in the beginning of the year. I liked you after the Halloween Dance even though you broke up with me via letter! I liked you after everything you have done! No, I don't understand why, but at least I know that I do like you," James said.
"Well I just don't know, so you'll have to wait for your definite answer, James," Lily said. "I hope you can do that." Lily walked away and James chased after her.
"You are not going to have the last line and then walk away dramatically, Lily, not this time," James said. "After that kiss, you started to have feeling for me, you just said that. How can that not be your answer?"
"You don't want me to give you my definite answer, James," Lily said, still walking away, "You want me to give you the answer you want to hear, and I'm not going to do that."
"What I want to hear is a yes or a no and then be done with this, Lily, I want to be done wondering," James said.
"You have to wait," Lily said.
"I've waited long enough," James said stopping her. "Give me your answer."
"No, James," Lily said angrily. "My answer, my definite answer, my 'no going back' answer is no. Now leave me the hell alone!" Lily felt a tear running down her face and, brushed it away angrily and walked away. James stood there, exhausted. No. The answer is no. No going back, no do-overs, no more wondering, no more dreaming. No. No, no, no, no, no. Just plain…no.
(Thanks for your reviews! Was Lily's no a definite no or just an angry no? Please Review!)
