The Lobster Magnet
(The Best Corn Flakes This Side of Second Miltia)
KOS-MOS
Written By Mugi.
NOTE: This is -planned to be- the last chapter of our story, as we each wrote a chapter. The first was Anna Skywalker's, the second Trickyfrog's, and this one is mine (My s/n here is Mugichan, but it's Mugi on fictionpress) So, unless some amazing burst of creative inspiration and a lot of spare time happens upon us, this is the end of The Lobster Magnet. So, please, enjoy! Oh yeah, and none of us own Xenosaga, so don't poke us about it .
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"Target destination reached. Location identification: The Lobster Magnet. Target item: Corn Flakes. Approximate distance: ten meters."
KOS-MOS said to herself aloud as she entered the grocery store that was fitfully dubbed 'The Lobster Magnet.' A certain Vector official was in desperate need of Corn Flakes, and KOS-MOS was recruited to retrieve the box of pure, sugar-free joy. The battle android turned towards the cereal aisle, finding herself face-to-face with a large lobster aquarium. Refusing to simply go around the tank, KOS-MOS raised her right arm out in front of her and, in a flash of bright red light, the lobster tank EXPLODED.
"Obstacle eliminated."
Ignoring the lobsters that scrambled about helplessly on the wet linoleum floor, atop the shelves of countless aisles, and stuck to the ceiling, KOS-MOS continued towards the cereal aisle.
"Target in sight."
KOS-MOS entered the narrow aisle to see chaos and Wilhelm staring at a single box of Corn Flakes. The only box of Corn Flakes in the whole store. All of the shelves formerly responsible for holding various brands of cereal were completely bare, with the exception of that single box of Corn Flakes. chaos and Wilhelm glanced over at KOS-MOS, at which time she noticed and removed a rather large lobster from her dampened blue hair. Chaos and Wilhelm looked at each other for a moment, and then returned their attention to the Corn Flakes.
"Obstacle detected. Target locked."
KOS-MOS announced as her emotionless crimson eyes fell upon chaos. She again raised her right arm, her powerful Ether Cannon consuming the energy needed to fire.
"Target miscalculation."
The powerful blast did not strike chaos, but instead the nearly empty grocery cart but he had been guiding around the store. Since chaos had not been in the store for very long, only a small box of pre-made strawberry shortcakes went flying from the explosion. Unable to discover exactly why her cannon missed such a close target, KOS-MOS took a large step closer to chaos. She silently looked at him for a moment, outstretched her shiny metal arms, and picked him up by his shoulders.
"Obstacle unidentifiable. My external appearance is down five percent."
KOS-MOS held chaos a few inches above the ground for a few moments but, when stated obstacle began to twitch, she set him down a few inches away from his original location.
As KOS-MOS's attention came to Wilhelm, he smiled politely and took a large step backwards.
"Obstacles relocated."
KOS-MOS stepped closer to the shelf and grabbed the Corn Flakes. As she held the box of crispy joyful joy, KOS-MOS's pallid crimson eyes brightened.
"My external appearance is up five percent."
KOS-MOS then disappeared from the cereal aisle in order to take the retrieved item back to the Vector HQ.
No later than fourteen and a half seconds after KOS-MOS left, an announcement roared over the store intercoms.
"Yugioh cards 95 percent off! Get them before the manufacturers finally give up!"
In an instant silent agreement, Wilhelm pulled a large deck of Yugioh cards out of a hidden pocket within his suit, while chaos pulled an impressive deck out of his messy grayish-white hair. The six exhilarating words that were bound to the situation need not be stated…
I challenge you to a duel.
The two both pulled small cartons of milk from hidden pockets and began to drink it, as it accurately proclaimed to 'fuel the duel.'
Fifteen minutes passed by effortlessly, and another thirty passed by just as quickly. After an hour and a half, the epic battle finally met its end.
In an outburst of uncharacteristic victorious joy, Wilhelm beamed over the strategically placed cards.
"My Dark Paladin beats your Dark Magician Girl!"
