All Love Letters are from Draco to Harry.
Chapter Six
oOo
Blame the excitement over the tragic break up or the fire whiskey you lot practically drowned yourselves in afterwards if you like, but you and I both know it isn't true. Ron needed to even the score between you to keep being your friend and you needed to let him. I was just a convenient way to settle up between friends. I don't think he even really wanted me, but he definitely got off on watching you while he did it.
He was hard the entire time, rubbing himself off on my arse while he looked at you. I was looking at you, too, watching you lying there in your bed, pretending to sleep, but you know that. You never took your eyes off me writhing around on Ron's tatty sheets. We left the curtains open just for you, though I doubt you could see all the way over to his bed with all that water in your eyes. I think watching you have a wank with the same rhythm as his hand on my cock may be the single most perfect moment of my life. You looked like you were in pain.
I wanted you to hurt like I do, to feel even just a taste of what feeling you fuck the Mudblood every bloody night did to me. I didn't try to stop the sounds falling from my mouth, the better for you to hear every moan you've ripped from me with her body. I could hear you, too, last night while you had one off while I fucked your best friend's fist. I heard it every time your breath hitched, every time you tried to suppress a groan and failed. I heard you moan my name when you came, and I heard you sniffling into your pillow after you turned away.
And if you heard me whisper your name when I spilled all over his hand, it wasn't because I love you. It was to make sure I had your complete attention, because you'll never see me come again.
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I thought I hated you before, but that can't even compare to the way I feel right now. Do you enjoy putting me in my place? Obviously I'm evil and therefore a perfect sacrificial lamb on the altar of Prince Potter. But not Granger, no, couldn't have everyone thinking bad thoughts about your precious little Mudblood now. You made such a big fucking production about how you loved me, that it was true love like Romeo and Juliet, that they hate me for hurting you, and her for fucking you. And yet somehow she gets to come out of it smelling like roses, like she fucked you every night because you were her good friend, while I still get blamed every time you want to have a mood, your favourite scapegoat.
Two months you wouldn't speak to me, acknowledge that I was even alive. Two months! All we ever did was kiss once, and you had the whole school ready to lynch me for breaking your pathetic, fragile heart. You didn't eat, Potter. You didn't speak. You made everyone in the whole damn school hate me even more than they already did and then drove me insane. And now, after you fucked Granger every night for a month, she dumps you, publicly, and you're back to being best pals? What the fuck!
Is she so important to the Dumbledore-Potter side of the war that she can't be allowed to be tainted? She still holds your hand. She still sits with you in class and at dinner so close she's practically in your lap. You and Ron are thick as thieves with her again, as if nothing had ever happened, as if shagging her was just a normal thing between friends. You don't shag Ron when you're depressed.
But where am I left after all this? Somehow Jezebel turned back into a saint, there for you in your time of need, while I get blamed making you need her in the first place. I'm back to being the Death Eater who broke your heart, while you bravely carry on with your best friends at your side. And I am all alone.
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Stop looking at me, you great ponce. I can't take it. Talk to me or don't, but don't keep staring at me while you try to decide whether or not I'm worth the effort of opening your mouth. How long has it been since you spoke to me? That night in your dorm. Forever.
When I'm feeling ridiculous, I imagine that your looks are longing gazes meant to convey your soul to me. But it's nothing but a flight of foolish fancy to imagine that whatever feelings you had for me once remain, and Malfoys are never foolish. But, sometimes I wish for the fool's gold that is your affection.
I can still feel your body pressed against mine, my back at the wall, the ghost of rough lips on mine. It was only once, but it was enough to burn me. Why does this still torment me? What is it about you that sucks everyone around you into your orbit? I am a comet burning for you until I crash into you and die. Only the smallest embers of me remain in the aftermath of loving you.
I can't let you destroy me again. There is not enough of me left to be consumed by you. You would hunger for more and I would be left with nothing. And yet I want to, to give the last bits of myself as an offering, just to end the separation that I can endure no longer. Perhaps when I am away from you, away from the temptation of your form paraded in front of me every day, I will be able to break the pull of your eyes on mine, calling me back to you.
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A/N: Okay, so Pixie Goddess says I'm meant to respond to comments here. So, as I am behind, I'll just get right to it.
Chapter One:
Thank you Anna and Holy Snappers!
Chapter Two:
Anna, Kleenex is always a good thing. snowy-angst, bitersweet is my favorite kind of chocolate. Demonsblade, speachless is a good thing. I thought about signing them, and then I tried it and I just didn't like it. I don't know why, but I just didn't. I decided to just mention that they are all from Draco at the top of each chapter. Em, thank you! L.S.T.P, thank you; I love writing Malfoy. FadedInnocence, chills huh? Yay! theTigersFire, you know when I started this in my LJ a few people wanted letters from Harry, too, but I think you'll see why there aren't any by the end. Fueled-by-ramen, angst is my middle name. Okay, it's really Abilene, but can you blame me for prefering angst? princessgreta, it's much better than my sad poetry, so this is as sad and poetic as you ever want to see me. HandsOff, god I love it when people swear in reviews! midnightprowler, I hope that most of your questions are answered by now, but if not drop me a line. I love long reviews and you made me all happy.
Chapter Three:
Rae, thank you, and by all means point any mistakes out. I've had my friends look it over for me, but I'm still waiting until I'm all finished to do a final beta. I'm glad the emotion comes off. Sand3, I'm all about vandalizing my angst-riddled high school, too. People forget what it's really like much too quickly. Possibly so that we won't be afraid to send our kids. theTigersFire, thank you! I love sad stories. music-spirit, yay! Thank you. Sheree, Harry's really not all that bad, it's just that this is all from Draco's POV, and Draco has issues like most people have lipsticks. I'll see what I can do about a happy ending. midnightprowler, he's got spunk, but no desire to be rejected, the kiss shows up in later chapters, five I think, and thank you for the happy making long review again. Ally, aw, you make me blush. Thank you.
Chapter Four:
Anna, I'd prefer not to die like that, but if myshoulder doesn't stop hurting I may take you up on the offer. AloraBraken, they will get together, but they never broke up because they weren't really together in the first place. Harry tried to kiss Draco, and Draco ran away, so Harry just gave up. music-spirit, thank you, and no worries. I've already written to chapter 13. , thank you, and I never know what to write in these things, either. Pixie Goddess1, I love it when things go clench! Thank you. midnightprowler, you leave the best reviews. Everybody turned against H/Hr because Harry had made such a production about the perfect Romeo and Juliet, starcrossed love he had for Draco that everyone felt like he was cheating on Draco. Otherwise there wouldn't have been a problem. And Ron doesn't care about comforting Draco, so much as have someone who feels as betrayed by H/Hr as he does. And there will be some romance, don't worry. theTigersFire, I love it when people get all teary. Thank you. Rott, I'm glad you feel guilty for pitying him. He'd hate that.
Chapter Five:
Anna, first you want to kill me and now you want to steal me, huh? Well, we like that here. Thank you. Pixie Goddess1, thank you so much. theTigersFire, tah-dah! Chapter Six, just for you.
Sooo, Sunday night's not a good time to post, huh? I'll remember that...
