Sailor
Pluto: Oh, no! What's happening!
The
clouds rumbled and the Gate of Time shook. A bright light pierced the
darkness. Pluto shielded her eyes and looked away.
Stupid
American Kids: dub.. dub... Dub.. Dub DUB DUB DUB!
They
screamed as they trampled through the gate.
Sailor
Pluto: What is this! Noo! AAHH!
The
stampede overtook Sailor Pluto and she fell. Her Time Key was crushed
beneath the peril. The kids beat up Sailor Pluto as they continued
calling out
Stupid American Kids: DUB
DUB DUB DUB!
Sailor
Pluto: AAAAAAAAHH!
The
dimension suddenly began to become frazzled and misshapen.
Sailor
Pluto: OH, NO!
Everyone
was engulfed within a burst of purple light, and it traveled
throughout the universe and transformed everything into horrible dub.
Sailor
Moon Super S
Space-Time Continuum Disturbed!
Startling
Counterpart Confrontations!
(Part
01)
The
five girls (Amy, Serena, Lita, Mina, and Raye) sat at their favorite
table in the back corner of the Crown Café, talking and eating
- very loudly.
Serena: MUMM MUMM
Slurp MM! THIS IS GOOD!
Serena
said, shoving spaghetti into her mouth. Raye stared at her and
smiled.
Raye: Ohh, the way you eat
turns me on, baby.
She said, putting
her index finger on Serena's chest and circling her nipple.
Raye:
Tell me what you're thinking. Are you horny?
Serena:
Raye, please! I'm eating, not thinking!
Just
then, Elizabeth came over to the table, hugging her tray as
always.
Elizabeth: Hey, Serena!
What's up, dawg!
Serena:
ELIzaBETH!
Everyone laughed. Mina
leant toward Lita and whispered in her ear. Lita nodded, then they
both got up from their seats.
Lita:
We'll be right back... We're not going to make out or anything! Just
going to the bathroom...
Mina grabbed
Lita's hand and giggled as they walked towards the bathrooms. Raye
sighed and sipped her drink.
Raye:
Lita and Mina are probably making out...
Michelle,
who just happened to be sitting in the next booth, turned around and
asked,
Michelle: Did someone say
"Kissing"?
Raye:
No, I said "making out", not "kissing".
Michelle
jumped up, pointed at Raye, and shouted,
Michelle:
THERE IT IS! SHE SAID IT! DO THE QUOTE, AMARA! DO THE
QUOTE!
Amara's eyes bulged and she
clenched her teacup.
Amara: HEH
HEH!
The girls gasped.
Amy:
Oh no, Raye! You've got them started!
Serena
put her hands over her ears and whined.
Serena:
I swearrr if I have to sit through this again, I'm gonna
expllllode!
Elizabeth got
up.
Elizabeth: Err... I'm gonna get
back to work now. Hey! Why don't you and your frrrrriends come to my
place to study. I get off work in about one hour.
then
she whispered to Serena,
Elizabeth:
Do us all a favor and don't bring those two.
Amara
and Michelle continued chattering. She backed away from the table,
waving goodbye and trying to tune out Amara and Michelle.
Suddenly,
Rini came flying through the window and knocked Elizabeth over.
Elizabeth's tray flew out of her hands and hit Amy in the head. Rini
got up off of Elizabeth and dusted the glass off.
Rini:
Good thing this slut was here to break my fall.
Serena:
She's dead...
Raye:
Who? Elizabeth or Amy?
Rini:
Who cares!
She yelled, reaching for
Serena's sandwich.
Rini: Hey, that
looks good.
Serena:
Hey! That's mine! Order your own!
Rini:
You're so cheap!
Serena:
IT'S MY SANDWICH!
Raye looked at
Amy, who lie face down on the table top. Then she poked her. Amy shot
up.
Amy: AAAIIIEEE!
Raye
was startled.
Michelle: Shut up, you
blue haired bitch! We're doin' quotes ova herre!
Rini
directed her attention over to Amara and Michelle as they
continued.
Michelle: "...My
first kiss was with Brad, the cutest guy in school..."
Rini
raised her eyebrow.
Rini: What! No
way! You're trippin' for sure!
Amara:
Watchoo talkin' bout, Rini?
Rini:
You guys are lesbians! Michelle was never involved with a guy!
Lita:
Yea, why ya playin' us?
She asked,
walking back with Mina.
Michelle:
Umm... err... uh...
Then Michelle
covered her face and ran toward the exit, when she bumped into
someone.
Michelle: Watch it, creep!
I'm tryin' to act dramatic!
And she
ran out.
Lita and Mina sat down.
Rini:
I killed Elizabeth.
Mina:
Yo, that's phat, Rini.
Lita:
Dayam! Is that part of your brain sticking out?
She
asked, pointing to Amy's forehead.
Raye:
Thats' where she got hit with the tray.
Mina:
She needs some good old anti skeptic!
Amy:
Antiseptic? Yes, I should go to the hospital and get it
checked.
Amara:
Nonsense! I'll fix ya up!
She said,
shucking her khaki's. She aimed it at Amy's forehead and let
loose.
Amy: NOOOOOOO--
The
other girls ducked out of the line of fire. Amy spazzed as Amara
pissed on her. She finished up and zipped her pants. Amy was dead.
Mina began laughing.
Mina: HOO HA
HA! When it rains, it snores! HA HA!
Outside,
two hookers planted themselves on the sidewalk near the broken
window.
Raye: Look! Outside!
Lita:
Those are some sexah babes!
Mina:
Dayam... And we spent all our snack money on these foofy drinks!
They
all sighed. Amara chuckled. She pulled out a big wad of fifty's and
flashed them in the girl's faces. She whistled and the two hookers
went to her and hung on each arm.
Amara:
Well, I guess I'll be off then.
And
she strolled out of the restaurant. The four girls watched,
longingly, as they went.
Serena:
We'll never be as cool or rich as Amara...
Rini:
Ya got that right, loser. Especially with your grades...
Serena:
Hey! Who asked you anyway!
Rini:
Y'all be trippin', fools! I'm in love with pegasus and pegasus is in
love with me! He fucks me every night and I want it! Yea, I want
it!
Everyone stared at Rini,
speechless. Suddenly, Lita jumped up and punched Rini in the face
from across the table. Rini's face collapsed and she died.
Raye:
This place is a mess! Broken windows, dead bodies lying around, and
piss all over! I'm outta this craphole!
Raye
stood up and marched out the window. Lita, Mina, and Serena agreed
and followed.
As they crossed the street, Serena fell into an
open manhole. The three girls thought she fell all the way down and
died instantly, but as they were walking away, Serena called
out.
Serena:
Guys! I'm not dead! I'm hangin' on by a hand! HELP!
Lita:
Mina, you go get Darien. Me and Raye will stay here and try to get
Serena out. Go!
Then Mina ran away
like a valley girl. Raye giggled.
Serena:
Um... A little help here, please!
Lita
and Raye ran over to the manhole.
Lita:
Hang on, Serena. Mina went to go get Darien.
Serena:
Oh, Darien, my mysterious masked man!
Serena
swooned over her thoughts. Mina came running back with Darien - Both
of them running like valley girls.
Darien:
What's wrong?
Mina smiled.
Mina:
Like oh my god! Serena like totally like fell like... down there in
that like totally gross icky place. Ya know? Like.
Darien
nodded.
Darien: Totally.
He
looked into the manhole and saw Serena. She smiled and waved, then
fell 'cuz she waved with the hand she was holding on with.
Darien:
Oh well. She's gone.
Raye:
Quick and painless!
Darien grabbed
the cover of the manhole.
Serena:
Wait! Wait! I'm still ali--
Then he
covered it. They all laughed and walked away.
Sailor
Pluto struggled to her feet, using a broken half of the Time Key as
an aid.
Sailor
Pluto: What have they done! Those stupid American dub freaks!
She
brushed the misplaced hair out of her face with her shaky
hand.
Sailor
Pluto: They've altered the time/space continuum as we know it! Now
the Japanese and English character cast are combined into the same
dimension!
Pluto
limped over to the Gate of Time and looked inside. The doors had been
blown right off of the hinges and the dimensions flowed between each
other.
Sailor
Pluto: This is horrible! I have to set things right before something
goes terribly wrong!
Later
that day, Michelle pulled in the driveway in Amara's car and entered
the house. She walked into the kitchen and saw Amara and Lita
standing in the far corner with their arms crossed.
Amara:
Where you been with my car!
The
brown-haired girl pointed her finger at Michelle.
Lita:
I told Amara the truth! You've been sleepin' around, whore!
She
turned to Amara,
Lita: I'm sorry. I
didn't want her to hurt you.
Michelle
Stared sharply at Lita, then slapped her. Amara fell off the
boat.
Michelle: What the fuck you
talkin' 'bout! You know damn well Amara went off with them hookers!
So you don't know shit!
Michelle
Picked Lita up by her ponytail, swung her around, and threw her into
the oven. She laughed as Lita burned. Amara tied her shoe then opened
the oven. Lita fell out.
Amara:
YOU! LOOK WHAT YOU DID!
Amara
yelled, pointing to Makoto,
Amara:
SHE'S ALL CRISPY NOW! I LIKE MY BITCHES MEDIUM RARE!
Amara
stopped yelling and noticed that Michelle was asleep on the floor.
Suddenly, the chicken flew away! So, Amara went to fly a kite. Then
she came back into the house with a hose and aimed it at Michelle.
Michelle jumped up and ran away before the water hit her. Instead,
the water shot into the oven and the house blew up. The chicken flew
by.
When the smoke cleared, Michelle crawled out from under
the kitchen table. The doorbell rang. She looked around and saw her
house was blown up.
Michelle: WHAT A
MESS!
The doorbell ran again. The
aqua marine-haired girl got up and dusted herself off. She walked
over to Amara, who was lying on what was left of the floor, and
shouted,
Michelle: DAMN MESSY LESBIAN
BITCH!
Then kicked her in the head.
Amara jumped up.
Amara: Heh heh
heh!
In a fit of rage, Amara
slapped her own face. The doorbell rang for third time.
Michelle:
Oh my! Someone's at the fork!
Amara:
Door...
Michelle:
Right! That's what I said!
Michelle
pranced over to the door - the only remaining part of the house still
standing - and opened it.
Michelle:
HELLO!
It was Haruka and Michiru.
Amara walked over,
Haruka:
"Hey! AmARA! MichELLE!"
Amara:
Oh, quotes?
Michiru:
"NOT FOR ME, AMARA!"
Angrily,
Michelle slammed the door on Haruka and Michiru's faces. Michelle
suddenly yelled,
Michelle: I don't
wanna hear their crappy versions of our quotes!
Amara:
Why not? I thought it was funny.
Michelle:
They speak with 'engrish'...
There
was a knock at the door. Amara ran to the phone and picked it up.
Amara: WHO'S SPEAKING!
Another
knock at the door.
Amara: HELLO!
Yet
another knock at the door.
Amara:
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM MY LIFE!
Still,
there was knocking. Amara slammed the phone down and screamed in
frustration.
Michelle: Oh! Was that
the fork on the phone?
Amara:
I don't know! I can't remember!
Haruka
and Michiru walked around the door and over the rubble which was once
a wall and beat Amara with a pencil.
Haruka
& Michiru: We are fucking knocking at your door! ANSWER
IT!
Michelle
laughed. Then Haruka and Michiru stepped back over the wall and
knocked on the door again.
Amara:
Who do you think it is?
Michelle
rolled her eyes and opened the door and let them in.
Michelle:
Care to join me for tea in the Queen's toilet?
Michiru:
And what nasty nasty metaphor is that implying!
Haruka
and Amara tilted their heads.
Haruka
& Amara: Huh!
Michelle: The 'Pee
Tea', Amara!
Amara:
Oh, hayl yeah! I love that shit!
Haruka
corrected them,
Haruka:
Don't you mean Tee Pee?
Michiru:
Like the Indians used to live in?
Michelle:
NOO!
She yelled,
Michelle:
PEE TEA!
Haruka and Michiru shrugged
and agreed.
Michiru:
I have no idea what it is, but I'll have some.
Amara:
It's really good!
Michelle instructed
Haruka and Michiru to cup their hands and sit on the floor. They did.
Then Michelle squatted over Michiru and pissed in her hands, then did
the same to Haruka.
Michelle: PEE
TEA!
She yelled. Haruka and Michiru
jumped up, shaking off their hands.
Haruka:
GROSS!
Michiru:
NASTY!
Unexpectedly,
Amara farted.
Amara: Whoops! Sorry,
folks. That one just kinda slipped out.
Haruka:
You guys are disguzzling!
Michiru:
To say the very least!
Amara
and Michelle looked at them, puzzled by their rudeness.
Michiru:
Come on, Haruka, let's go home!
And
with that, they walked out of the rubble and home.
Michelle:
"To say the very least!"
She
mocked, insulted by their counterparts' inappropriate
behavior.
Amara: I wonder why
counterparts came to visit us?
Michelle:
Hmm... You're right. How did they get here, after all?
They
both were soon consumed into deep
Michelle:
Submerge?
John:
No! Will ya shut up and let me finish my sentence!
Michelle:
Sorry...
Amara snickered.
Amara:
Haha! You got yelled at by the narrator!
John:
ANYWAY! As I was saying... They both were soon consumed into deep
thought.
Michelle:
Ohh...
They thought long and hard.
Until after about ten minutes passed, Amara turned to
Michelle.
Amara: Should we be
thinking this hard?
Michelle:
I don't think so... My brain is starting to hurt! OW!
Back
on the other side of town, Raye still clung to Darien, staring at him
lovingly.
Darien: Heh heh...
He
chuckled, nervously.
Raye: What's
wrong, Darien? Now that Serena's dead, you can date ME!
Darien:
Yeah...
He said, only trying to
please her. When suddenly, he spotted a young blonde girl who looked
remarkably like Serena less than a block away.
Darien:
Serena!
The girl's presence was
brought to Raye's attention and she was just as surprised as Darien.
They both ran over and confronted her.
Darien:
Serena...
The girl turned around and
looked at them weird.
Usagi:
Mamo-chan? Who is 'Serena'?
Raye:
You're Serena! What's wrong with you?
Usagi:
I'm 'Serena'?
By
now, everyone was confused.
Usagi:
I don't understand what you're talking about, Mamo-chan! And why are
you hanging around with Rei-chan! Are you cheating on me!
Raye:
Listen, you little Ho! We're not Chinese or whatever, so stop calling
us 'chan'!
Darien:
Something's going on here... Something... Not normal...
Raye:
I agree, Darien! This is mega weird!
She
said, grabbing Darien's arm and holding it tightly. Usagi pushed Raye
aside and linked arms with Darien.
Usagi:
Goodbye, Rei-chan.
She
said, very casually, as she lead Darien away from Raye and toward the
nearest restaurant.
Usagi:
I'm hungry, Mamo-chan. Let's go eat!
Darien:
...My name's Darien.
Usagi:
What's a 'Darien'?
Darien:
Nevermind...
And they kept walking -
Usagi with a huge grin plastered on her face, and Darien with a
highly confused look.
Raye stood, watching them go with fire
in her eyes.
Raye: Grrrrr!
She
snapped her fingers.
Raye: I was soo
close, too!
A sigh came from her and
she hung her head.
Raye: Oh,
well...
As she turned to go back
home, she bumped into someone. Raye looked up and saw who it was. Her
eyes widened and a look of disbelief came into them.
Raye:
No way!
Sailor Pluto
walked through a time portal and quickly de-henshined.
Setsuna:
I have to find everyone and warn them of the dangers!
She
said to herself, dramatically, then rushed off.
Ami,
Makoto and Minako stood on a street corner, looking around their once
familiar city.
Minako:
What is this! I can't read anything! It's all in a different
language!
Makoto:
This sure is strange... Maybe it's the work of a new enemy?
The
smarter of the three used her mini computer to figure out their
location.
Ami:
I don't understand... My mini computer doesn't seem to being giving
me any information AT ALL!
She
screamed, slamming the digital device on the pavement.
Minako:
Oh, that was smart, Ami-chan!
Ami:
Whoops... Guess I got a bit carried away...
Makoto:
Now we'll never figure out where we are.
Ami:
Well, it seems we're in Juban... It's just that everything seems to
be in English instead of Japanese.
Minako:
I DON'T UNDERSTAND!
Ami:
Everything is the same... Just in English.
Makoto
thought for a moment.
Makoto:
Where's Usagi-chan and Rei-chan? Did they get transported here,
too?
Ami:
Well, I don't know. I smashed my computer, remember?
Minako:
ARGH! HOW INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING!
She
shouted. Everyone stopped and stared at her.
Minako:
If everything's still the same, then I'm going to the High School to
practice my volleyball skills.
Makoto
waved as Minako stomped off.
Ami:
Maybe we should go look around as well. There might be some important
clues that could tell us a little more about this place.
The
brown-haired girl agreed.
Makoto:
We'll split up and meet back here in two hours.
Rei:
Prepare yourself, evil spirit! Stealing a girl's identity is
unforgivable and I will punish you!
She
yelled, whipping out a thin rectangular paper with Japanese writing
on it.
Rei:
Pyo, tou, sha, kai, jin, retsu, zai, zen... AKUYO TAISEN!
Rei
slapped the charm onto Raye's forehead and jumped away. Raye stood,
speechless, and the paper fell to the ground. Rei was surprised.
Rei:
Why didn't it work!
Raye:
Maybe 'cuz I'M NOT AN EVIL SPIRIT!
Rei:
But..!
Raye:
Alright! That's it! I've had enough of these mimicing games! Who are
you, REALLY!
Rei:
Hino, Rei-chan. Who are you?
Raye:
Raye Hino...
Rei:
You can't be! I am!
Raye:
This is mega spacy...
Rei:
What?
Raye:
Totally cosmic creepy!
Rei:
Whatever you're saying, I'm not understanding!
Raye:
How did you get here?
Rei:
I live here. At the
Rei
& Raye: Hikawa Shrine!
Both
girls backed up.
Rei:
Woah... I just noticed something...
Raye:
What?
Rei:
Can you read any of these signs?
She
asked, pointing to a notice in a store's window.
Raye:
Yeah. Can you?
Rei:
No... It's like a different language or something!
Raye:
It's English.
Rei:
English?
Raye:
Yeah, whatsamatter? Don't you know English?
Rei:
I'm Japanese! Isn't this Japan!
Raye:
Yeah, but everyone here speaks English.
Rei
turned to Raye with a horrified look.
Setsuna:
Rei-chan!
Both
Raye and Rei turned to see the green-haired woman running up the
street.
Rei:
Setsuna-san!
Raye:
Trista!
Setsuna stopped dead in her
tracks when she saw the two counterparts had already met.
Setsuna:
Oh, no..!
END PART 1
GASP! What a startling confrontation! Setsuna's in a pinch, now! What will she do? What happens if the other Senshi meet their counterparts? What's the big deal? To find out how they'll get everything back to normal, stay tuned for the second part of "Space-Time Continuom Disturbed! Startling Counterpart Confrontations!"
