Disclaimer: Star Trek the Next Generation is property of Paramount Pictures and all respective cast, crew, and employees. I am not making a profit off this. This is simply for fanfiction enjoyment.

Summary: The Borg have returned and have captured Data. Using very different tactics from their last encounter with the android, they will stop at nothing to gain control of the Enterprise … and Data may not survive the ordeal.

Note: I apologize for not being able to update sooner. A busy schedule prevents me from updating as often as I'd like.

Eternal Scars

"W-What?" Picard managed to stammer.

"…I wish to resign from Starfleet, sir," Data reiterated after some hesitation. This wasn't getting any easier, "After today's events in the war core storage room, it is clear that I have become a liability to this ship."

"What do you mean? You saved several lives today. Had you and La Forge not created that forcefield, the warp cores would have detonated, killing everyone left in the Starbase."

"While that is true, the forcefield sealed 1.07 seconds before the warp cores exploded. Had I been two seconds slower, everyone left in the Starbase would have been killed. My current state slowed the away team's progress by five minutes, fourteen seconds. Lieutenant Worf had to carry me to the control room to save time. I can no longer continue to ignore the fact that my current condition greatly compromises the safety of this ship. If I do so, lives will eventually be lost."

Data hung his head low, staring at the blacktop table of the Observation Deck.

Picard leaned back in his chair and sighed heavily. He had been trying to go on as if nothing had ever happened; as if his android friend had not been captured by the Borg… as if his android friend could still walk. However, Data was forcing him to face the truth: that things had irreversibly changed.

"It is because of this… and another reason that I must resign." Data said finally.

The captain waited patiently for the android to continue, but he didn't. He continued to stare at the table as if afraid to meet Picard's eyes.

"'Another reason?'" Picard asked, gently prompting his friend.

"I have found that since my return to the Enterprise , I have been preoccupied. 90 to 95 of my thoughts have been of my experience on the Borg Cube and of Ensign Tim's death. It is as if I were experiencing an infinite feedback loop."

The two sat in silence for the next several moments. Data began to wonder if he had a severe malfunction that his internal diagnostics could not detect. He was becoming slower and slower in his calculations and his responses were equally sluggish.

"Sir…" Data finally looked up to meet the captain meekly in the eyes, "May I ask you a personal question?"

Picard let out a heavy sigh, but nodded almost imperceptibly.

"What was your experience with the Borg like?"

Ever so slightly, the captain of the Enterprise hung his head and breathed in a shuddering breath. After being rescued from the Borg by his crew, he had experienced his own "feedback loop." It seemed as if the images of his own experience with the Borg would never stop. And in a way, they never did.

"You do not have to answer if you are uncomfortable with sharing your experience," Data said, as if reading Picard's thoughts.

"No," Picard responded after some hesitation, "It's fine."

He never shared his experience with the Borg with anyone but Dr. Crusher; and even then, he didn't go into a lot of detail.

"No one will ever understand what I've been through," he thought.

But now, of all ironies, an "emotionless" android might.

"You ask what it was like, being captured by the Borg. Hell. Pure hell. I was captured by the Borg so quickly, at first I couldn't think. I felt myself dematerializing off the Enterprise and rematerializing on the Borg Cube in seconds. In an instant, I was surrounded by Borg."

The captain now stared distantly, as if reliving the ordeal all over again, but Data hung on to every word.

"Even then… even when I found myself surrounded by Borg, I thought I had a chance. I thought, as long as I refuse, with every fiber of my being, to be assimilated, I wouldn't be."

The captain shook his head in regret, "I was so naïve."

"I don't remember how many Borg surrounded me, all I know is, there were enough to force me onto one of their tables. One held its implant needles within an inch of my neck. The others forced me to the table with their brute strength. The Borg at my right grabbed my right arm so tight, he crushed it, breaking it instantly. When I was reeling from the pain, they forced me onto the table.

"That's when I knew I was in trouble. I knew they would have restraints, so I fought. I kicked two off of me, but five more took their place. When the Borg at my right arm saw that I was resisting, it pushed down on my broken arm. I couldn't help but scream; I was in so much pain. The Borg then activated the restraints and I was strapped to the table… I struggled, but it was no use. There was no way I'd break my way out of those restraints.

"Then the Borg Queen introduced herself. Said she was the leader of the Borg Collective; that resistance was futile and that I would give myself willingly to the Borg."

"Never," I told her, "I would never submit myself to the Borg."

"It was then when one of the Borg inserted its implant needles into my neck. During the last seconds of consciousness, I focused on one thing: That I would not become another Borg drone. Too many lives had been lost in the hands of the Borg. They weren't going to get me.

"… But they did. When I regained consciousness, my body and half my face was covered with implants. It was as if the Borg had taken my consciousness and placed it in one of their mechanical bodies. My body was no longer my own. I saw myself lift my right arm to accept a Borg arm that a drone was about to give me. The bone inside my arm had been repaired with mechanical wiring. I could feel it inside me. As I saw myself lift my arm, I tried to resist. I tried to force my arm back down. With all my strength, I tried to prevent it from accepting the Borg arm, but I couldn't. My thoughts were the only thing I had control of at that point.

"And then…" the captain bit his lower lip and shuddered, "a Borg drone approached me with a laser. The laser cut into an opening in the Borg implant on my face and I could feel my very thoughts being torn away from me. I tried desperately to hold onto those thoughts. To remember everything I could; the Enterprise , my crew... all the missions we had undertaken. And then, in an instant, all those thoughts were gone."

By now, Picard was close to tears.

"From then on, my only thoughts were of assimilating other 'weaker' species. My mind was connected to the Collective. I no longer possessed, nor was I capable of, independent thought.

"When I saw the Enterprise as a Borg drone, I had no feeling. I had no memory or emotional attachment to the ship in which I had been the captain of for the past three years. I had no feeling towards Commander Riker, you, Dr. Crusher, or anyone else on the Enterprise . Everything that defined me as a person… as a human being was wiped clean.

Picard paused to take a deep, shuddering breath.

"I watched as the Borg Cube fired on this ship, hell, I even commanded it, and I didn't care," the captain continued, not hiding the bitterness in his voice, "I had become a heartless, cold, calculating killer… a Borg."

At this, the captain visibly shuddered. Even recalling it now, years later, it was hard. To think that he had become Starfleet's most notorious enemy and fired upon his own ship without any care was almost too much to bear.

"It wasn't until you interfaced with me through the communications link did I start to have any feeling. It wasn't until then that I started to remember who I was…. And what I had become."

Data processed every word, listening with nearly 100 of his positronic brain. His experience with the Borg had been very different, and yet, he saw the same things in Picard that he was now experiencing. Regret, pain, fear. These were the emotions shared by both the captain and the android in their encounter with the Borg. And in a way, the android was still experiencing these emotions; without his emotion chip.

A long silence descended in Ten Forward as Picard took a deep breath and tried to maintain his composure. He now finally had someone who would understand what he had been through, and yet, he wouldn't wish that on anyone. It was a bittersweet moment.

"Sir," Data said almost hesitantly, "How did you return to normal function after your encounter with the Borg?"

Picard let out a heavy sigh.

"It took a long time. And in a way, you never really recover, but things do get better," he added quickly after seeing Data's head bow down.

"I don't want to lie to you and say that things return to normal right away, but in time, it does. Things do get better. For a long time, I blamed myself for being captured by the Borg. I blamed myself for firing on my own ship even though every trace of my soul had been sucked away by the Collective. But in situations like these, you must not blame yourself.

"The Borg captured me so quickly, I didn't even have time to breathe. Even when I was on the Borg Cube, there was no chance of escape. Surrounded by Borg, I had no chance. Once I was assimilated, I was no longer human. It was a soulless being that fired on the Enterprise , not me… It took me a long time to realize that.

"And you, Data, must not blame yourself for Ensign Tim's death."

Data looked up at the captain hesitantly.

"You could never have foreseen the Borg capturing you, nor could you have predicted that Ensign Tim would be captured by the Borg as well. Whether your internal chronometer was damaged or not, you did not case Ensign Tim's death. I think in times like these," the captain looked up at Data and met him in the eyes, "it's very human to blame yourself. You blame yourself, because you would have liked to have been in control of that situation. We all like to think that we are in full control of our destinies. But in reality, we're not. You say to yourself 'If only I had reacted just a little bit faster.' 'If only I resisted a moment longer,' things would be different. But you can't allow yourself to think like this. You'll drive yourself crazy. Now matter how hard you wish things were different, you can't change what's happened. Wishing things were different doesn't change the past; it only serves to damage the present and threaten to destroy your future. You become so consumed with wishing you have control of things you don't have control of, you destroy yourself."

Data nodded slowly.

After a long hesitation, Picard continued.

"Data, I've noticed that you haven't turned on your emotion chip since you regained consciousness on the Enterprise ."

Data jerked his head up. No one had bluntly stated that fact to his face before. But it was a fact…

"I know it's difficult facing emotions; especially when one has been through an ordeal like you've been through. But you have to learn to deal with these emotions. If you don't the Borg Queen will have hurt you twice. The first, when she captured you and the second, she is preventing you from cherishing the most precious gift your father gave you: your emotion chip. Don't let the Borg Queen hurt you again."

Data's positronic brain streamlined with activity, processing all the new information, absorbing every word the captain spoke. The captain studied the android's face carefully. It almost seemed as if he were holding back tears.

"Data, I urge you to really think about your decision. Do you really want to resign? You'll be walking away from something you have known all your life. Something you've worked for and dedicated your life to will be gone. Do you really want that?"

"It is not a matter of what I want," Data replied without hesitation, "It is a matter of considering what is best for the Enterprise and its crew."

"Data, you are an invaluable officer whom I trust my life with. I cannot imagine running this ship without you. At least reconsider this. Don't give me an answer right now, I mean after you've really thought about this… with your emotion ship on."

"'With my emotion chip on,' sir?"

"Yes. Because if you don't consider this decision with your emotion chip on, I'm afraid you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

Data slowly nodded his head, considering the captain's words very carefully.

"Yes, sir."

After a long hesitation, the android backed away from the table. Before he turned his isolinear chair around, he met the captain's eyes.

"Thank you, sir."


Data fiddled with the circular disc in his hands, studying its surface, its transparency, its parameters… its source. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he placed the disc on the floor, pressed a small button on its surface, and rolled his chair back.

"You ready?" the El-Aurein asked softly.

Data nodded.

Data sat in the middle of Holodeck Three while Guinan stood at entrance near the controls. Data didn't know exactly why he had asked her to accompany him to the Holodeck. Perhaps it was because she had had her own encounter with the Borg; an encounter so traumatizing, it resulted in a pure hatred toward them. It was because of the Borg that Guinan and her people were separated from one another, spread throughout the galaxy and left to find their own place in the vast universe. It was because of the Borg that both Guinan and Data had lost so many friends.

Guinan typed a series of controls that instructed the Holodeck to download the contents of the circular disc. Data continued to sit in the middle of the Holodeck, surrounded by the black walls covered with yellow gridlines.

Slowly, ever so carefully, he turned on his emotion chip for the first time since his terrifying encounter with the Borg. In 0.02 seconds, a barrage of terror, agony, frustration, anger, and pain assaulted his positronic brain. The android squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. No matter how much he felt he was prepared for the emotions, they always threatened to tear down his resolve once he faced them. But he fought hard, and did not turn off his emotion chip.

Images began to surface in his mind. The Borg Queen was smiling hungrily at him as a predator smiles down at its prey. Her narrowed eyes and devilish grin were hauntingly familiar. Data involuntarily touched his arm as an image of the serrated knife cut through his memory. He could recall with great accuracy what it felt like to have someone stab you and drive a knife deep into your flesh. Data's simulated breathing shortened as he relived sneaking around Borg Cube for the control room after escaping from his cell.

It took several moments to control his own simulated breathing and force his voice to function. Finally, he looked up.

"Computer…"

The Holodeck chirped in reply.

"Begin program."

The Holodeck projected the newly downloaded program into the room. In an instant, the black room with yellow gridlines burst into shades of blue and gray. Broken ship panels and severed support columns surrounded Data. An image of the young Ensign Tim appeared in front of the android.

"Remember this?" Ensign Tim asked.

Now Data understood why his friends enjoyed Holodeck programs so much; they were so real. It was almost as if nothing had ever happened and he and Ensign Tim were sharing a Holodeck adventure together again.

The holographic image of Ensign Tim smiled as he spread his arms out, gesturing beside him.

"Of course you do. This is where we met. This is where you rescued me from the broken ship I was on."

Ensign Tim looked back at the broken column behind him, shaking his head.

"I was so scared. I thought I was gonna die. For a long time, I couldn't stop thinking about this scene. I kept thinking over and over in my mind that I was the one who caused this; that because of me, the only home I had ever come to know was destroyed, and my parents were dead. I kept thinking it was my fault… but you helped me see the truth: that I wasn't at fault, and that I deserved a much better life than what I was allowing myself to have. A life of friendship, adventure, and memories."

Data bit his lower lip and his eyes lowered with sorrow.

"If you're watching this, it means I've died. I hope that I have made you proud."

Ensign Tim was now looking directly at Data's eyes. It was then when the Holodeck program ceased to be a program and became a friend sharing his last words with a friend he had grown up with for years.

"Data, you've been like a father to me. You encouraged me when I told you I was going to apply for Starfleet Academy . You gave me the space I needed when I was thinking about my parents. You helped me gain back the spirit I had lost."

Despite Data's best efforts, two tears fell down his cheeks.

Ensign Tim laughed, his joy echoing throughout the room.

"Remember the time when I came back from school crying because Vince Richards said I was a 'short ugly freak with no parents'? The next day, when you dropped me off at school, Emily asked if you could make the jungle gym a different shape and you took the entire titanium alloy steel structure and twisted it until it looked like a giraffe? Vince never teased me again after that."

The android felt himself smiling. School administrators weren't too happy when they found out the jungle gym had been turned into a jungle giraffe, but the kids loved it.

Ensign Tim then smiled ruefully.

"My friends ask me how an 'emotionless' android could help me deal with my own emotions and all that I had been through… and I don't really know the answer. I don't know how you helped me through the most horrific experience of my life… but you did. Somehow, you helped me understand and deal with my own emotions better than any human ever would have.

"You've said before that once crewmates pass on, you don't think you'll ever see them again. But I don't think that's true. I think we'll see each other again… someday.

"Until then, I want to thank you. Thank you for all the adventures and memories we've shared. Thank you, Data, for being my friend… I'll see you later."

With that, the program ended. The Holographic image of Tim faded and disappeared and the background of the damaged ship returned to the black room covered with yellow gridlines.

For a long time, Data sat motionless in his isolinear chair. His eyes downcast and his gaze was distant. Finally, the tears came streaming down. Data fought hard to keep them from breaking his resolve, but it was a losing battle. Finally, the sobs took over. Tears burned wavy paths down the android's cheeks and his shoulders shook with every sob.

Guinan, who had been standing so silently to the side, walked over to Data. Without a word, she knelt in front of the android and wrapped her arms around the android, enveloping him in her warm embrace.

Soon, Data made no effort to hold back the tears. He allowed himself to grieve over his friend's death, to sob at the recollection of his torturous experience with the Borg, to shed tears over his having to end his Starfleet career, to cry over his not being able to walk ever again.

After several long moments, the tears began to subside. Slowly, Data released the embrace he shared with Guinan. Guinan leaned back so she was at arm's length with the android.

"You okay?" Guinan asked gently.

Data nodded. His hands quivered as he wiped the leftover tears that were on his cheeks

Suddenly, Data jerked his head up and he looked at his right leg.

"What's wrong?" Guinan instantly noticed the sudden change in the android's behavior.

Data stared open mouthed at his leg.

"A signal has just successfully traveled to my foot."

To be continued…

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