Proluge

Quite A Shock

I walked down a long road on a winter afternoon. Everybody had given me the day off, so I decided to take a walk. It was cold. I shoved my hands down my pockets and saw random girls pointing at me with disgust. Not to my surprise, they were girls from Aine's school. I knew this because they had the same uniform on and I was in front of the very school. Why am I here? My feet must be used to walking here. I always walk or drive here to pick Aine up. I hadn't seen her in a couple of days. I hoped that she was okay. Just as I wished, she walked outside as the bell rang. I waved at her and saw her flick her hair back in the cold breeze. She ran toaward me with a blush and asked, "Why are you here?" This had obviouslly hurt me, for I hadn't seen her in a while. "Why? Is there a problem? Do you not want to see me," I asked. She looked at me shocked and shook her head violently. "No! How could you say that," she yelled. I felt her body fall into mine with a hard thud. I looked down to see her shaking. I heard her say barely above a whisper, "I've missed you so much. I thought that you had gotten my messages on your pager, but I guess I was wrong." I remembered my pager. I had lost it in an attempt to stop my brother, Rick, from getting to Aine. He was still in the hospital, but I already knew that he had it. I rose her head away from my chest and to where I could see her. She was crying! I hugged her tightly. I couldn't bare for her to cry. Not again. It just tore away my insides. She was everything that my heart held dear and here she was crying because of me. "I'm sorry," I said. My heart died as those words left my mouth dry. Is that all, Sakuya? "I'm sorry?" God, what have those words ever accomplished, I thought. I gelt her arms lighten as a smile appeared on her face. "Really?" I looked at her and that smile made my heart come back to life. I nodded as her smile was engraved into my mind forever.

"Sakuya?" I looked back at my "Little Bird." She was walking while looking down at her feet. I quit walking and knelt down to her eye level. "Yes," I asked. "Well I was wondering...if you weren't busy...can we go to the coffee shop. We do need to catch up on what has been going on these past few days, after all," she replied shyly. I smiled and picked her up bridal style. "Of course. I'm off until tomorrow afternoon anyway," I replied. She laughed at my reaction. What would I do if I were to lose you, I thought. We entered the closest coffee shop to see people amazed to see us. I place Aine down and we escorted ourselves to the farthest table in the back. I looked at the counter to see all the waitresses afraid to come over to us. Aine noticed it, too. "What's their problem," she asked. "Who knows," I replied. I looked at her and saw her looking at a magazine. "Where'd you get that," I asked. "My friend advised me to read it. It's one of those magazines about all the new celebrities. She said she saw a little article on you so she told me to read...OH MY GOD!" I saw her face completely flushed. I took the magazine away and read it myself. "SAKUYA'S BIG BREAK: New Girl In Arms. It seems as if Sakuya has a new girlfriend named, Aine Yukimura. Supposedly, she's just another 'project' for Sakuya's likings. What does it all mean? And what about the new baby on the way? Sakuya is going to need a big break on this!" I felt outraged by the rumor printed on the magazine's page. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? WHO GIVES SOMEBODY THE RIGHT TO PRINT BULLSHIT LIKE THIS!" I looked at Aine to see her outraged, as well. I looked shocked at her and asked, "Aine? What..." BAM! I felt a burning sensation in my cheek. I looked at Aine to see her crying. "Why, Sakuya? Why could..." "Aine! It's nothing. All of this is bullshit. I swear," I said. She looked at me with anger and asked, "Well, how do I know if I should believe that?" She got up from the table and walked out. No! I...lost her. No! Sakuya! You dumbass! Go after her! But I couldn't go after her. I already knew that she wouldn't listen. I stood up and walked out. I looked at the waitresses and glared, "You should've just done your fucking job then have been scared." I walked out, hearing thunder in the distant.

My travel home was cold, dark, and lonely. Aine...she's...gone...long gone. Her eyes pierced through my head like a thousand fire arrows. I felt a drop of water on my forehead. I looked up to see them coming down, one by one. Then coming down in groups, until all of them came at once. It's like life. You fall alone until death. Your death causes others to fall and keeps going until everybody is gone and done with. Then a new beginning will come with the sun and it'll start again, I thought. I fell to the ground and felt my hair stick to my head. My clothes stuck to me like glue and my eyes were blurred with tears. "Everything's gone, because of a stupid magazine article. Please..." I looked up and opened my arms up as if they were stretching wings. "...COME BACK TO ME," I screamed as if she would hear me. I sank back to the ground and looked at my hands. They were being washed in the rain, but they seemed...not real. I didn't feel real. My body had gone numb. I knew that I had to do something. The only thing that came to mind was my childhood habit, cutting. I dug into my pocket to find my pocket knife. I whipped it out and I rolled up my sleeve and placed the blade over my arm. I looked at the sky and whispered three words, "...for you, Aine." I pushed the blade in and cut through my skin. I winced at the pain, rose from the ground, and placed the knife in my pocket. I looked at the blood trailing down my arm and onto the sidewalk. I placed my hand over the wound and looked at the window next to me. I was at the local inn and I saw my reflection in the window. My face had gone cold and distant again, like it used to be. Before her... I turned forward and walked calmly down the sidewalk, back to my residence.

"Hey, Sakuya," Atsuro greeted me in the hall. I looked at him with a glare and got my key out. I unlocked my door and walked in. The darkness engulfed me as I closed the door. "How are you?" "Who's there?" "Calm down. You remember me. We last talked right before that girl, Aine." I lowered my head and slid down the side of my door. "Oh. Hey, Makato," I replied. Makato was my other side within my body. He was what made me less lonely in the world. It's usually called insanity to most people, but I call it coping. "Yes, I knew that you'd remember me. Now, admit that you missed me. I know that you have. After all, I AM you," he said. I nodded and replied, "Yes, I missed you." I heard him laugh and said, "It didn't work out with her did it?" I shook my head and replied, "You were right. She's like the rest. She didn't truly trust me. If she had, she wouldn't have believed in that fucking magazine." "Yeah, well I hate to say it, but I told you so." "I know you don't like putting me down, Makato. You've already seen me try to commit suicide when I was kid. I'm sure you wouldn't want me try to do it now. That's why I TRUST you," I replied to the darkness. I couldn't see, feel, or sense him, but I knew that he nodded. "Who needs a girl if she won't be there? You know I'll be here, since I'm you. Isn't that weird, though? I mean, we're the same yet so different." I chuckled. He was right. "Do you mind if I turn on the lights," I asked. "No, not really. I really don't care," he answered. I stood up and clapped. Light engulfed the room. I shielded my eyes. I must've come accustomed to the darkness. Once my eyes became accustomed to the light I unshielded them. I walked to the window and clapped again. The lights went off. I opened the curtains and saw the stars and the...Tokyo Tower. All the buildings were lit around it, but it was still so enchanting. It was a tower that could capture my soul and just take it away. I turned away, afraid that I would drift so far that I couldn't come back. I lied down on the couch and looked out the window to still see the tower. I smiled at it.

Suddenly, HER smile appeared in front of the tower. I jolted up and looked at the tower. No! She's taken my only sactuary away. Where do I go? Why does she still haunt me? Why? Why...did she have to leave? I felt tears stream down my face just from the thought of her warm smile appearing in my face again. "I love you, Sakuya." "I love you, too." Those words were never true in my life. "I'll bring you great pain," are only the true words. "My life's HELL," I said aloud. "Duh," I heard Makato say. Those words used to help me, but this time it didn't. Aine would say that when I would say those words, "I love you." "Shut up, Makato," I replied while lying back down, refusing to look at the tower. The only way I went to sleep that night was when I thought of her. The tears soothed me and I finally drifted to sleep, but only to endure nightmares of her.