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19. Don´t leave me

Van Helsing had told me to go to the market and try to feel the sun again. It was very hard for me because one year I lived in the shadows. But at least I could leave his house during the day.

I walked through the market, looking here and there. And as I was watching some kids someone grabbed my arm and pulled me in the shadow of a house. Before I looked at him I knew that it was Vladislaus.

He looked deeply into my colourful eyes, before pulling me in a deep kiss. I returned the kiss but then thoughts ran through my mind. Thoughts like the punishment and the church. Quickly I pushed him away, making sure that nobody had seen us. "I can´t do this anymore", I said and tried to go on but he held me back.

"Titiana, you don´t know how much I missed you. Only with you my life has a sense. I thought of killing myself!" He spoke so fast like never before. I simply shook my head.

"I´ve already sinned too much. Let me go!", I said and tried it again. I failed. "I can´t believe that these words even came from you. Who told you this?"

"It´s nothing. I just..." - "Van Helsing said it, didn´t he!" - "Don´t talk so loud. We are near the church...", I said but before I could do anything he grabbed me by my shoulders, lifted me up and pressed me against the wall.

"Tell the truth! Tell me that he makes you believe this rubbish! You would never say such things!", he yelled. I prayed in my thoughts that nobody did hear us. But my thoughts were interrupted by small trails of blood wich ran down my shoulders. Quickly Vladislaus released me and laid one hand on my cheek where the scar was.

"Why did he do that to you?", he asked and tried to look at my back. I took one step backwards to hide it. "Let me see." Willingly I turned around and showed him my back that bleeded a little. Slowly he laid his hand on the wounds. I winced in pain.

"And Van Helsing calls me monster...", he shook his head. I turned back to look at him. "You can´t go back to him", said Vladislaus. "Why not?", I asked.

"Because I won´t let you! Did you hear me! I won´t let you go back! I won´t let him hurt you again!" He had to fight tears. I stroked his cheek softly and whispered: "I´m sorry."

He bent down on his knee and took my hand in his: "Can´t you forgive me?" - "For what?" - "I killed you. And I thought that I would never see you again. We lost our child and I did not act as if it really happened. I did you wrong... I can´t live without you! Please, forgive me!"

"I have forgiven you already. But I can´t stay with you. God would never forgive me this.", I said.

Next he said something that seemed true to me now: "If our time together had been a sin god would have never given you a child wich was alive. What Van Helsing says isn´t true!"

I helped him to his feet. We looked deeply into each others eyes. "Don´t leave me", he whispered. I could only stare at him. I did not know what to do next.

"I´m pleading. The son of the devil is pleading. You can´t do this to me. Please, stay with me. I will take care of you and your wounds can heal. I will never seduce or bite you again. I will be your husband and you my wife... At least like husband and wife, but don´t leave me!"

Then I took him in my arms. I didn´t know that he had missed me that much. Now I was sure that Van Helsing lied to me. His words couldn´t be true. It couldn´t be true that tearing two people apart god´s will is.

"But I still can´t... I´m sorry but... I´m too scared that he could... punish me again. It hurt so much." My voice and body was shaking.

Then he began to kiss my neck. I let him do so. Maybe he could forgive me this way. Suddenly he began to suck on my neck. "Stop it", I whispered. But he didn´t stop.

After nearly two minutes he released me. "So you won´t forget me", said Vladislaus, "But we will meet again. Tomorrow at night." With that he disappeared and I went home.

In the doorway Van Helsing waited for me: "Where have you been? Why did you take so long?" He looked at my neck. Quickly I covered it with my hand. He had seen the mark of Vladislaus´ kiss. "You met him again, didn´t you?", he asked. "Come in!"

I knew what that meant. But I knew that I could meet him tomorrow. So I could stand the pain...

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