Haruka's birthday was only a few days away and Michiru had no idea what to get, since Haruka had been out a lot lately, there was no time for Haruka to be throwing around hints. Michiru had listened though. Every time Haruka spoke, Michiru listened for her little hints. The only problem was that there never were any, so Michiru went out to the mall to shop around for the perfect present. Hours went by as she searched and she eventually wound up in a small shop called 'Self Pleasures'. Michiru laughed to herself,
Michiru: Now, this is a store that won't exactally be necessary since we give each other the best sex in the galaxy... But it wouldn't hurt to look around...
Setsuna, who was also in the store, saw Michiru coming toward her, and hid the item she had been holding in her hand. Michiru was searching the shelves so interestedly, that she was absolutely oblivious to Setsuna, who was standing there with a big goofy grin on her face, awaiting the embarrassing confrontation. Setsuna watched Michiru pull various items off of the racks and look them over. She grabbed a six inch dildo and raced it around the air, pretending it was a space ship flying left, right, up, down, and consequently, right into Setsuna's cleavage.
Michiru: Oh, hey, Set!

S title screen and title music
Sailor Moon S
Cause for Erotic Pleasure?
A Day at the Juban Mall!
(Part 01)

Setsuna screamed as she plucked the end of the item with her thumb and index finger, removing the dirty toy from her top. She threw it back and Michiru caught it in her mouth.
Setsuna: Oh my god, what is wrong with you!
She screamed, walking away, as she buttoned up her blouse so it was less open than before. Michiru spit the dildo out and followed Setsuna, asking,
Michiru: ...Anyway, what brings you here?
Setsuna: Absolutely nothing! I thought this was the ice cream shop... I guess I got lost...
Setsuna unambiguously, tossed the thing she was hiding onto a shelf as she rushed by it. Michiru saw and picked it up, sarcastically replying,
Michiru: Oh, really...
Setsuna: Yes, really!
Setsuna turned around and saw Michiru smirking as she held out the item that was supposed to have been ditched.
Setsuna: --ACK!
Michiru: So, Set, feeling lonely?
Michiru's smirk grew bigger.
Setsuna: Well, a bit...
Michiru: Is that why you're in here buying SEX TOYS!
Setsuna laughed nervously.
Setsuna: Uhh... No, I'm just looking around...
Suddenly, Setsuna tripped and fell.
Setsuna: Oh, my leg!
Michiru helped her up.
Michiru: Is it broken?
Setsuna: Like I'm the expert and would know...
Michiru: Well, you can stand, so I guess you're fine.
Setusna: So, what was it that I tripped over anyway?
She turned around and looked down at her feet. There, lay a giant dildo, about the size of a small child.
Setsuna: Oh... My... God... There is something definitely wrong with the world today...
Michiru: Hey, I'm looking for Haruka's birthday present. Any suggestions?

Just then, Minako walked in.
Minako: Cupcakes? I don't see any cupcakes... That guy must've been off his rocker, sending me in here.
Minako wandered around, looking the store over, trying to figure out where she was. Setsuna adjusted her purple business suit and began walking away while Michiru was distracted. She then bumped into Minako.
Setsuna: Are you guys following me?
Minako: I was like, looking for cupcakes, when this old, wrinkly guy sent me in here. He said that they would be included in the french maid costume package that I'm supposed to buy.
Setsuna: Why?
Minako: Oh, well, he's a real lonely guy and he asked if I would come over to his place so we could 'clean house'... I figured he meant he needed a maid, so I accepted. Now I'm just getting the uniform like he said to.
Michiru turned back to Setsuna.
Michiru: What would you recommend?
Setsuna looked at them both as if they were both nuts, then suddenly thought of some way to get rid of them.
Setsuna: Hey, look, Michiru! The perfect gift for Haruka!
Michiru: WHERE!
Minako: CUPCAKES!
Setsuna: Look over there!
Setsuna pointed to the farthest corner in the store. Minako and Michiru walked over as Setsuna quietly slipped away.
Michiru: Where?
Meanwhile, Setsuna was sneaking out of 'Self Pleasures' and into Macy's.

Minako looked around and noticed that Setsuna was gone.
Michiru: Hey, Minako! Where's... Set?
Minako: Zoinks!
Michiru: She couldn't have gone too far in such a short time...
Minako: Jinkies!
Michiru: What is it? You found a clue?
Minako: Did you notice the suit she was wearing?
Michiru: Hai. It looked like something an old lady would wear... Very tacky... So?
Minako: I have a hunch she went into Macy's.
Michiru: Brilliant deduction, blondie!
Minako: Let's split up, gang!
Back at Macy's, Many old people glared at Setsuna as she walked through their territory.
Setsuna: Ah! ...AH! ...AHH!
She seemed to scream louder at the sight of any and all old people. Minako and Michiru entered Macy's, linked at the arms.
Michiru: Where should we start looking?
Minako: I dunno... This place is... Like a palace!
Minako broke loose from the bond and ran off to try on old people clothes. Michiru ran after and grabbed Minako and shook her.
Michiru: No, Minako! Fight it! We have to find Set!
She slapped Minako, then linked up with her again. Setsuna hid behind a nearby clothes rack, watching them, hoping they wouldn't see her there.
Minako: Hey! I see her!

Setsuna ran like the wind through the old men's department and dashed around the corner. She had once again lost those annoying retards, but kept walking, trying to find an exit so she could return to 'Self Pleasures' and buy that stimulating toy to enjoy for many lonely nights to come. As she neared the end to the old men's department, she passed the cash registers and a crowd of old people.
Setsuna: I HATE THE SCENT OF ASPIRIN AND PISS!
She felt so overwhelmed by the smell, she suddenly lost feeling all throughout her body and fell to the floor.

END PART 1

Usagi: Oh no! What will happen to Set! Will she ever get out of Macy's alive! Will she be able to return to 'Self Pleasures' and buy her so-desired item! Will we ever find out what the item is! Will the old men attack her and make her help them zip themselves up! Will those two irritating airheads find her!
Rei: Will you ever SHUT UP!
Usagi: Ahem... If so, Find out in the next chapter of "Cause for Erotic Pleasure? A Day At The Juban Mall!" Sailor Moon says!