Warning: Shoujo-ai. That's it really. The rest are just implications. If I implied absolutely nothing, this thing would be pretty much G. But then, R Amythest will have her implications.
AN: "Vulnerable," also known as R Amythest's Hopeless Battle Against Uke Syndrome Has Failed. I tried, really. v.v But then, there are few characters more uke than Florina, neh:sweat:
This may be the only time I note on my own grammar, but in the huge flashback-in-a-flashback in the first part of the story, you may notice that I do not separate paragraphs based on quotes in the bit about women in Sacae. This is intentional, because when the "would" tense is used, I find that paragraphs are usually not separated when there's a new speaker.
Also, I use Lyn and Florina's C support once in this fic. None of the other ones, just C.
Disclaimer: Fire Emblem belongs to Intelligent Systems of Nintendo. We fanfictionists are just here to make a mess of the loose ends.
Vulnerable
She could still remember the time that she had first met Florina. The little pegasus knight had clung to a branch with all her might, looking down fearfully. Somewhat amused, she had looked up, asking, "Hey, what's the matter?"
The girl looked at her shyly, blushing and responding, "M-My pegasus... I fell off my pegasus..."
Lyn shook her head, walking over to the tree and climbing it, sitting calmly on the branch from which Florina hung. "Really? You're a pegasus knight?"
"Y-yes!" she responded, somewhat indignantly, before returning to her shy tone and stuttering, "W-Well, at least, I want to be... B-But I'll never b-be as good as Fiora or Farina..." She sighed a bit, dangling her feet before clinging harder to the branch with an "eep!"
Lyn smiled sentimentally. She remembered the little boys in the Lorca tribe; riding horses without a care, calling themselves the masters of the bow until the horses cared to shake them off, leaving them on the ground, their bottoms bruised but ego untouched, chasing after the horses, screaming of their mastership and superiority. Then the girls, cautiously, would approach the grazing horses, asking sweetly, "Daddy, may I ride the horse some day like my big brother?" And then, when those girls became the age of eight – deemed mature enough by their tribe – and began to ride the horses, they would often cling to a passing branch in fright, the horses underneath them trotting off without their passenger. Holding on in panic, their older brothers – the one that had failed before – would be the one to "rescue" them, climbing the trees and plucking them off the branches, letting them hold onto their backs while he descended. Lyn would always smile at this as the little girls would resolutely ask to ride the horses again, just as their brothers had done so long ago.
Lyn was 13, then, wishing she had a younger sister of her own to cuddle and teach – the horses were obedient, but they must be handled with respect; always hold the reins loosely, or you will confuse the horse and it shall gallop; respect the horses but let them know of your mastery – but as the sole daughter of the Lorcan leader, she could only watch, somewhat disappointed, from the top of her favorite mount, as the girls giggled and tried to ride the horses again.
She was unusually masculine, she was often told. Even though the Lorcan woman were strong and self-sufficient, they couldn't help but wonder about the girl who wanted to be a brother. The little girl, in their eyes, who was strong, certainly able to lead the Lorca, but yet, was so unwomanly. But her mother would simply smile, patting her on the shoulder as the Lorca often gestured to capable, mature boys, and say, "My Lyndis certainly does not act as one from my court, but nor do I. All in all, should we not be glad that she is a true warrior of Sacae?" Amazed from her absurd usage of 'warrior,' but still loving of both of them, the elders of the village would nod to her wisdom. The little children, no older than 6, would then run up to her, uncaring of her gender and asking simply, "Will you play hide-and-seek with us?" And she would love those free moments, when she would play as the older brother.
Grinning, Lyn inched closer to Florina, extending a hand towards her. "Need some help?" Florina nodded rapidly and thankfully, taking her hand and letting herself be raised to the branch. The orchid-haired girl teetered on the branch slightly, clinging to Lyn, looking down at the distant ground.
"So then," Lyn began offhandedly, "how did you loose control of your pegasus?"
Florina looked embarrassedly at the ground, where her pegasus was walking calmly below them. "Bees... I accidentally d-drove M-Makar too close to a h-hive of bees... then they all c-came out and st-started to... ah... chase us." She flushed, obviously ashamed.
Lyn couldn't help but let a small giggle escape, though she muffled it as quickly as the other girl put on a humiliated expression. Lyn's expression softened and scooted closer towards Florina. "It's okay, all the people in my village fall off their horses when they're learning." She smiled again, remembering the way that Florina had hung from the branch, so resembling her tribesmen. "So then... what's your name?"
"Florina," she replied, still looking rather disappointed.
"Mine's Lyndis, but please, call me Lyn. It's what all my friends call me."
Unconfidently, in her own shy but sweet way, Florina smiled and started, "Lyn...?"
Lyn smiles, bringing her knees to her chest and staring out of the window. "Don't you remember that time, Florina? It was so nice and peaceful back then..." The lack of conflict was never quite dull. Quite to the contrary: war had sickened both of them, and despite their just cause, they were more than happy when it ended. Freely flying amongst the plains, the happiest moments were after the defeat of Nergal... and before the disease set in.
Florina stares back at her with half-lidded eyes, muttering a weak, "Uh-huh... Lyn..." – she shifts from under the covers – "I remember..." She closes her eyes softly.
Lyn looks at her worriedly for a moment before bringing back the false smile. "And don't you remember, too, that time on the battlefield? After Eliwood saved my grandfather from Laus and you wanted to tag along?"
Florina grins slightly through her feverish daze, murmuring, "Yes, I remember..."
"Florina! Are you well?" Lyn called, inspecting her carefully as Florina swooped closer to her, Kent finishing the mage that Florina had weakened.
"Lady Lyndis! I'm well, thank you."
"Good, I was worried" – Lyn paused, smiling at the strong girl in front of her. Yet still protective, she voiced -- "but don't go out alone if you can. You never know where archers might be lurking."
"Yes," Florina replied obediently, looking at Lyn – both her friend and her lord – in both kindness and awe. She did not know where Fiora and Farina were, but Lyn was almost like both of them, watching out for her and reprimanding her in such a subliminal, gentle way. Lyn was like her teacher, her guardian, and then, perhaps even more.
Lyn circled her slowly, inspecting her. "Are you carrying enough healing salve? Your weapons--are they all in order?
"Eh?" Florina was a bit startled by her general-like tone, hurrying to open her pack. "Well... Let's see... A vulnerary... And, um... My lance is here... And...eh?"
Lyn had placed a hand on her arm, stopping her hurried movements and smiling almost lovingly. "It's all right, Florina. Take your time. I'm here should anything happen."
"But, Lady Lyndis... It should be the other way around! I'm here to protect you..." Florina protested. But despite her objection, she truly felt warm towards the Sacaen, happy that Lyn would watch out for her in the battlefield. Yet it left her feeling the slightest indebted, that she wished she could pay Lyn back someday.
"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine," Lyn dismissed, placing a hand on her Mani Katti and eyeing a myrmidon who dared to approach them. " Didn't I always look out for you back on the plains? Remember?"
"Of course, but..."
"No buts! Let's head out, Florina." She raised her sword, running towards the myrmidon gracefully, giving the slightest movement in her arm, the Mani Katti running smoothly into the myrmidon's arm.
"Ah...! Lady Lyndis!" Florina give Makar a nudge, the pegasus's wings flapping quickly to approach the opponent. She held her slim lance in front of her, piercing through the swordsman's shoulder. She looked back for a moment, calling, "Are you alright?"
"Florina! Pay attention to the opponent!" was the hasty reply.
Florina instantly looked back to the myrmidon, who had leapt upon the opportunity and swung his sword in her direction. Dodging barely in time, he grazed her leg. The sword had also cut a few feathers from Makar's wing, and with a whinny, she flew haphazardly in the air, trying to regain her balance. Florina closed her eyes, overwhelmed by the air that blew into her face, gripping onto the reins with all her might.
Behind her, Lyn struck the myrmidon down, then looked into the sky, calling, "Florina!"
Makar slowly descended with a jolt, trotting a bit in an attempt to regain her balance. Florina opened one eye slowly. "Lady Lyndis... I'm fine." She smiled, opening the other eye and sitting upwards in Makar's saddle. "Really, I am."
Lyn gave a, "tsk, tsk," before examining Makar's wing. "Well... it doesn't look too bad, maybe it'll heal overnight, but I don't think you should take to the sky."
"What? But Lyn..."
Lyn stopped for a moment, looking at her with that amused grin again. "You called me Lyn."
Florina flushed. "Er—no, I mean, Lady Lyndis! I'm so sorry I—"
Lyn shook her head, chuckling to herself and withdrawing a vulnerary, spreading the medicinal gel over Florina's leg, then Makar's wing. "No, I like it this way. You're not my vassal, you're still my friend." She paused, looking into Florina's still concerned face. "Don't worry about my rank. Honestly, Florina." Lyn smiled. "I can hardly call it servitude when you care for me of your free will, and when I protect you with mine."
There is silence again, nostalgia quickly overtaking the air of the room. She closes her eyes, thoughts and memories gathering and playing in her mind. The accursed illness had crept slowly, seizing and dominating their life together. What she thought would be paradise for the rest of her life soon turned to be a scarred vision, as Florina grew frail with each passing breath. "Florina," Lyn quickly and sharply calls.
Startled, she replies, "Y-Yes?"
Lyn relaxes again, shifting her weight. "Just making sure you're still here." It was the reason for the tenseness in her legs, like it was the instinct of the warrior to rise and strike against the onset of death, though it may not be tangible.
An inhale, an exhale, a weak smile. "Of course I am. I will be as long as you're here to protect me. Don't you remember what you had said?"
Florina leaned against the wall of the Dragon's Gate, waiting outside nervously. Fiora looked up at her younger sister from her sitting position, asking, "Florina, what's wrong?"
"Fiora, sis, I..." her voice trailed off as she glanced inside the building, a hand stiffening against the doorway. "I'm just worried. What if Lyn's hurt? Even..." she stiffened, not wanting to release the next word, "dying in there? I wish I could do something..."
Fiora's mouth curved lightly into a slight smile. "Florina... you really have changed, haven't you?"
"What?" She seemed unprepared for Fiora's comment.
"Don't trouble yourself over it," Fiora added, but she seemed slightly proud all the same. "But Florina?"
"Yes?"
"I'm sure Lyn will be fine."
Florina looked back at her, still flustered. "How can you be sure?"
Fiora grinned in that sure, self-confident older sister way. "How can you be sure any other time? She could've tripped and fallen and gone unconscious in your sight."
"But that's not like Lyn," Florina protested. "Lyn is so... graceful."
Fiora kept her smile, if she did not widen it. "Exactly, Florina. So imagine her in there." She gestured to the Dragon's Gate. "Graceful. Defeating Nergal with ease."
"But... but..." she fidgeted.
"Florina," Fiora stated, seriously now. The younger one stopped, staring at her sister, almost in need of her answers. "I know that you've gotten stronger, that you like to be your own self now. I know, myself, that you've surpassed me in skill." She smiled warmly. "But have faith in Lyn. She's strong too."
"I—I know that," she responded, biting her lip all the same. "She... used to be like a goddess to me... Invincible. But then, after yesterday's battle, Serra..." She paused, and Fiora waited for her to finish. "I was going to talk with Serra, and I saw Lyn... her arm was frozen, bleeding." Florina's mind unconsciously summoned with image without her heart's consent. "I couldn't bear... to just stand there... and watch. I knew she would protect me, but..."
Expense. The word slowly seeped into both their minds, though unspoken.
"Fiora, I'm just scared. It's... it's not wrong, is it?" she asked, suddenly nervous as sounds of howling came from within the gate.
"It isn't. In fact..." Fiora studied Florina's expression. She smiled. Yes, she had seen this before. Her expression was so much like Kent's, the day he had visited her in the healer's tent. Or like Eliwood's, the day they set off to search for Ninian. But then, the fear on her face? Of... stigma, perhaps? Fiora cleared her head of the thought. No, of course it isn't wrong. "It's a wonderful thing."
"Really? You honestly think so, Fiora?"
Fiora nodded. "Oh believe me, believe me..." She had few doubts now that she would have to drag Florina back to Ilia with her. Florina was blooming wonderfully now, a beautiful flower of loyalty and selflessness. "I understand now why you wish to go to Sacae with Lyn."
Florina couldn't concentrate on her sister's words. Matthew, Jaffar, Karel, Karla, and Rath – ones that she knew had an excellent sense of hearing – had roused, looking uneasily into the Dragon's Gate. Attentively, she listened. "Are those... footsteps?"
"Ah! Daybreak!" she heard bellowed as Hector thrust himself forth into the sunlight. Florina nearly fainted at his sudden outburst, but quickly spotted Lyn and Eliwood following him, with similar looks of joy.
"Lyn! Lyn!" she cried out, quickly handing Makar's reins to Fiora before rushing over to Lyn. "Oh, Lyn, I was so afraid that... that..." She didn't feel inclined to finish the sentence, and never did.
Lyn took Florina's hand gently in hers. "You wanted to come with me to Sacae, right...?"
Florina pressed closer to Lyn, saying happily, "Yes... yes. And we can be... together... can we Lyn?" She looked up, seeking the other's warm, supportive consent.
Lyn could tell that she was no longer an older brother or a mother to Florina. Yes, throughout their travels, she had bonded. To Florina, she was something more. Was Florina not the same to her...? "Yes," she said softly. "As long as you need me and as long as I'm here, I'll be there for you."
"'As long as you need me and as long as I'm here, I'll be there for you' ...and you're still here, aren't you? And... I need you... Lyn, I need you..." She winces, paling and leaning forward in a retching motion. Lyn quickly leans over the younger girl, patting her back, whispering soft, soothing phrases into her ear in the exotic language of Sacae. Florina closes her eyes, murmuring, "It's okay Lyn... nothing comes up..."
Lyn looks at Florina with sorrow in her eyes, stroking the billowy hair and patting her thin back.
A gust of wind blows in from the window. It whistles between the grass reeds of which the wall is composed of for a brief moment. Then, all is still and heavy, like fine dust settling on an old chair, almost ready to collapse. The tension is equally slow and destructive, and quickly, it takes hold.
"Florina?" She is only met with silence. Lyn looks back at the orchid-haired girl. "Florina...?"
Florina lies unmoving.
Lyn closes her eyes tightly for a moment, clutching at her hair and letting her illusions slowly dissolve. Yes, she could help her down from trees, heal her during battle, and soothe her through the night, but she could not fully protect her.
It was as any oracle had deemed, as any destiny had been planned. There is a beginning, the lovely celebrations, the joys of new life. There is the middle, the triumphs and failures, the lost loves and the new hopes, the reached goals and those that had been abandoned in pursuit of conquest. And then, inevitably, there is the end. It was the end that Lyn feared the most; she fought the end's approach; but to nature, she was as easy to bypass as the lone watchman in front of the ruined village.
The essence of nature could take Florina as easily as any other, until she is one with Mother Earth from which the trees rise and the grass grows. From those trees that grow the sweet apples of spring, though none would be quite so sweet as she...
Florina was still yet vulnerable.
Slowly, Lyn tucks the edges of the blanket around the edges of Florina's still body. She lifts her precious bundle, striding out of the house and across the quiet plain. She passes stones. Gravestones. Then she pauses.
She kneels down to the grave of her mother and father, offering a quick prayer. Then, stepping to the side so that she was between the graves of the little girls who once rode horses and the grave of her parents, she takes a handful of dirt in her hand and tossed it aside. Handful by handful, she digs into the earth, finding the task less and less difficult as time went on. The dirt turns soft. Soft and moist from her tears.
And then, rage. Rage slowly seeps into her powerlessness; a blind, aimless rage. Asking why any mortal should be helpless, should bear the burden of sorrow. And why invincibility was never once bestowed upon those in the face of reality.
And still digging, digging into the night, Lyn lies down on the soil, finally exhausted, and acknowledging the slight pang of hunger. The hunger, a reminder of concreteness, that the anchor that chains the soul to earth was still present. Lyn wonders for a brief moment what would happen if she should let that anchor melt away.
But yet, she lowers the corpse into the hole, covering it slowly, with scoop after scoop of soil.
Giving her blessings a final time, she lingers hesitantly for a moment, wondering if this is how those brothers felt when the little girls were slaughtered by Taliver's axes...
Lyn knows the guilt of protection.
