Chapter 9 Yes, We're Still on the Ship—but Could We Be Nearing the End of It?

A sickening slice cut through the neck and spine like an egg stored in vinegar. Then, raw ends flapping, the head sunk into the murk, still contorted in a laugh. A puff of stale air like that of within an old tomb came outfrom the open neck as a mushroom releases spoors.

Nodding in approval, Blaydelot straightened out through the crack the giant had made. As he was crawling up, however, you can guess what happened. Horror-movie time.

A hand grabbed his ankle. Not just any hand, but one attached to the body of the pirate captain that had his head replaced. A jagged, unhealed wound was all the way around his neck.

"Lich! Zombie! Ghost!" Now, the last one was certainly incorrect. Put'oh could have explained about the ethereal quality of ghosts and how a sword would not slice through them, but this knight was too shocked to think in logistics like that.

Still standing in the hole in the ship, everyone else was also staring, though they mainly were astonished at the thing that had come from the crap hole. And the scent.

For one, Put'oh was pleased to get the attention off himself in whatever way possible. Even if that involved a poop-covered knight being held by a long-dead pirate whose head had just been put back on.

At this time, Sama-san-dono, who had been muttering rhymes to himself off at the side about saving the world, realized his old foe had returned.

"Aha! Time to put an end to your evil ways!" About to clonk the knight on the head, he paused. "Um, who are you? You both looked the same covered in whatever that is. Pudding?"

"Pudding! You bumbling, big-headed, enormously large idiot!" Egomaniac spat out, letting the giant know which one he was. Slowly getting to his feet, he clung to the bristles of toothpicks that had been the main deck of the ship.

"My beautiful ship…" Yesah put a hand to either cheek, shaking his head. "Father will never be proud of me now."

Muggy gave an incredibly sad look up in his brother's direction, for yes, though Yesah had had a disease that had stunted his growth, Muggy was still a tad shorter.

"I'll always be proud of you, Yesah! Don't worry!"

"Thanks," his brother said with a sigh, patting the youngest Gruff's tuft of black hair. It was obvious he still was not as happy-go-lucky as the boy had hoped his words would make him, though.

Sama-san-dono frowned. "Now, that's not very nice of you. Just because I'm a little overweight does not give you the right to call me enormous. I prefer healthily plump."

Ignoring him, the pirate captain muttered, "We're going back to the ship so I can wash out my innards." The pirates exchanged glances, wondering if he literally meant removing his intestines enough in order to wash them. Also, they wondered just what the point in all this had been, considering they had not even gotten their treasure.

"Oh, no, you're not! I have to put an end to your menacing ways right here and now!"

The giant took a step forward, and with each change in weight, the ship rocked violently back and forth. Knowing his brother's proneness to tripping, Put'oh grabbed Muggy and clutched him tightly to help him keep balance.

"Uh, dude, just stay still!"

Axel began trembling in fear and making strange noises that are untranslatable into writing. But I will try: "Gyaahhhh!"

Looking the giant up and down, Earl de Vlin commented dryly, "The two are indeed one, but now is the time for Kun."

"What? You-you'd rather have…him?"

"Well, it would keep my ship together a little longer."

Still gaping, the giant slowly straightened. Then, with the others not knowing just how he did it, there was a sudden sucking sound, and the body sunk from the bottom up. Then, floating in midair for the briefest of moments, Kun plummeted back down to the ship with a crash.

Rubbing his bum, he moaned, "I wish he'd learn to do that in a soft area."


Now, I know there's something you've forgotten. You weren't supposed to forget, but I know you did. Maybe this will ring a bell: Egomaniac let out a hoarse yell that sounded muffled because he was below the pirate ship. He was less than pleased. He was utterly, throughout his body, enraged. Why so enraged? Well...

Barleyo had been under the water for approximately twenty minutes. He has to be dead, hasn't he? Well, it is a good thing that question wasn't directed at the characters. They would never answer correctly…

So, Barleyo was dead…

…o.O

Premonition of the future: collections of Ryou fans slaughtering me…or rather, Barleyo fans. Does he even have any fans? Better not risk it…

nervous laughter- Whoa, hold on. Did I say dead? This is rated PG! Since I'm too lazy to adjust it for a character death (and since I have no desire to be cooked raw over a blazing fire from fanatics!), I suppose something must save him.

What is mysterious, is present in fantasy settings, lives in the ocean, sings a lot, and commonly rescues drowning people?

A pernisp!

suspicious look- You weren't thinking mermaids, were you?

Ah, the wonderful pernisps! They are part-human looking on top and the bottom half is a large fish tail.

Reader: -blinkblink-

Just trust me, all right! They aren't mermaids! Oh, I should politically correct—they aren't merpeople. In fact, merpeople are the pernisps' greatest enemy. And greatest food source.

And they had Barleyo right in their webbed-fingered grasps.

However, despite the similarities between humans and merpeople, they were not anxious to eat him because he would not have that fishy flavor.

And, because, unlike those above the water, the pernisps cared about keeping their aquatic ecosystem clean and pure, they didn't want a decaying body in their midst. Put'oh should have tried living down there. No doubt he would have gotten along much better.

Well, they grabbed a tube, placed one end in Barleyo's mouth and the other in one of theirs (they didn't want to get germs from direct contact) and breathed for him. Unfortunately, because the tube originated under the water, it was filled with salt water that he had to choke down at first. But after that, enough air came through to keep him alive as one pernisp struggled with the chains.

Of course, since I just got through saying how they hate pollution of all kind, they had a direct plan for the chains that would get them out of their area for good. Merpeople might collect junk and think it neat, but you'd never find a pernisp doing that. In fact, if you were to ask the pernisp of how they were a different species from the merpeople, he or she would tell you it was because they had had enlightenment.

Okay, this seems to be getting too similar to Politically Correct Bedtime Stories. It's time we get Barleyo back to where he belongs.

Despite the common myths believed under the sea, Barleyo was quite a well-spoken person. He had a nice accent, a cute smiling face, and a gentle voice that never sounded accusing. But, underwater, none of that was apparent. So, because he was jerking repeatedly at the surface with a finger, the pernisps began to croak amongst themselves of what a rude species he was.

As everyone should know, jerking a finger toward the surface of the water was an extremely rude gesture—it pertained to their mating cycle, which took place on the surface of the ocean. Now, since it was no where near that time, they could only interpret it as a threat against their female members. It never seemed to occur to them that the females only laid eggs at a certain time and could not be, er, raped as humans could. Biologically impossible.

It would follow, of course, that the male pernisps wanted a fight right then and there, and instead of their environmentally safe way of dealing with the chains he had on, they used the chains to connect him to an old piece of a ship on the outskirts of the merpeople's land, removed the breathing tube, and left him.

Poor Barleyo. Doomed again.