DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Chapter 7
Confessions
Harry awoke early to the smell of bacon. He grinned. Today was his fifth nightmare free day. He shuffled into the eating area. "Mornin' Moony."
"Mornin' Cub. How'd ya sleep?"
"Pretty good. No nightmares again."
Remus grinned. "Good. Are you ready to talk, Cub? We at least have to talk about tonight."
Harry grumbled something incoherent.
Remus shook his head. "Well why don't we try this. You listen and if it gets to be too much, I'll stop but there are some things I think you need to know, some things that I'll need to explain to Tonks, and I'll warn you now, you're going to be upset at some of them."
"Have you ever seen you parents' will, Harry?"
Harry shook his head.
"I thought not. Well let's see. The main part of interest to you is your guardianship. You know Sirius was your godfather and guardian. You also have at least some idea of how bad things were during that time. Your parents didn't just list him as guardian. The line of succession went thus: Sirius, Peter, me, then Dumbledore."
Harry growled.
"Yes. I know. But you have to remember, Cub, they thought him to be loyal, they thought, well, er, they thought I was the traitor ... You see we had a bit of a falling out..."
"You know that the Wolfsbane potion is a recent discovery, right? Well at that time there were quite a few tests being run to control werewolves. But, well, my parents they tried almost every thing and every where for a cure, I couldn't do that again. Most of the time, these so called cures made the transformations worse, not better. But my friends still had hope, they wanted me to try. They did not understand why I couldn't ... I just couldn't. Then most of the werewolves chose Voldemort's side. We knew there was a spy, we had it narrowed down to the five of us, and well, with that and I guess, my lack of optimism they thought it was me." Remus' eyes glowed amber at the memories and he shook his head.
"At any rate, with Sirius in prison and Peter dead. I was next in line to be your guardian. However, the ministry is loathe to allow a werewolf to take up any one's guardianship to begin with. Add in the Boy-Who-Lived, Fudge, and Albus' recommendation that you go to your relatives. Well, I was out of court empty handed in fifteen minutes flat."
Harry's eyes glistened with tears of anger. "He recommended I go there?" He spat out.
"Yes, Harry, I'm afraid he did. He had told me he thought the best place for you was your relatives. He said that your mother's blood would protect you and keep you safe from any retaliatory strikes. I disagreed. We fought bitterly over it. I told him how Lily felt about her sister, that Petunia blamed magic for the death of their parents, and that she had already hated anything to do with the magical world before they died. I told him Petunia would never love a magical child, but Albus refused to listen. I'm afraid his optimistic faith in people has always been a failing of his."
"About two weeks after you were placed with the Dursleys, I went to see you. They refused to let me in so ... I, well, let's just say I went anyway. I was grieving too remember and you were all I had left. Unfortunately, I was not as familiar with muggles as I am now. Apparently they called someone. And well long story short, I wound up in a Psychiatric facility for 72 hours."
"What bothers me more though is Albus' continued insistence that you remain there. Do you know the Weasleys' tried to make a formal complaint regarding the Dursleys during your third year? Something about Arthur finding bars in his shed?"
Harry just stared at Remus. He was speechless.
"Anyway, Albus talked them out of it. He told them you wouldn't be safe anywhere else. Again, I disagreed and reminded him what I had told him all those years ago. That there were other measures that could be taken if you were truly in danger. But then, I had my own demons to fight. Sirius was loose, and well, they had already found a way around other defenses before. I thought I could best help you by being at the castle. Then at the end of term I almost kill you or worse. But I knew you would be okay, you had found Sirius and he would look out for you."
Remus heaved a deep breath. "Then we lost Sirius this summer. Again because of Albus' interference. Both Sirius and I wanted to tell you more of what was going on. We told Albus you were not one to sit by and wait, that you would act should you feel the need ... We were so proud when we heard of your defense class..."
Remus looked deep into Harry's eyes. "Harry, I want you to know that if Sirius or I knew it was a possibility you could be lead into danger we would have found a way to contact you."
Remus took a deep breath. "Harry I want you to know, that I most likely am in some serious trouble for hiding you out like this. I also want you to know that I feel it is worth whatever price I have to pay and it should have been done years ago. I apologize Harry for all the pain that I have obviously caused you. I am truly sorry."
Harry's eyes glistened threatening to spill over. He nodded to Remus, who left him to process all he had been told.
