Chapter Four

Samantha Carter screamed in horror as her husband, Senator John Richmond, fell to the floor, killed instant by a bullet fired by Doctor Daniel Jackson. She had never intended for things to go this far. She had just wanted John to leave her and her son alone.

"MOMMY! " Jacob screamed in terror. He had just been attacked by his father with the side of a gun, and heard him say horrible things about him and his mother, and heard a shot fired. He knew his father was dead. Only he didn't know if he was his father or not.

Immediately she was at her son's side, pulling Jacob into her arms, pressing his face into her chest so he wouldn't have the image of the man he'd thought to be his father, with a bullet through his head. Guilt consumed her for what she'd exposed Jacob to – first, nine years of John, and then witnessing his death.

Guilt consumed her for what she'd done to Daniel – depriving him of the first nine years of his son's life, and then putting him into a position where he was forced to kill Richmond before Richmond killed his son – the son who didn't know he existed in any greater capacity then as his mother's friend.

Samantha picked her son up and took him to the partitioned section of Daniel's caravan which served as Jacob's room when he wanted to be close to his mother. She heard the sound of voices coming towards the caravan. Of course ; a gun shot was not exactly something you could miss, or mistake for something else. She wanted to get Jacob at least away from prying eyes until John's body could be moved.

John's body… Samantha shivered. She had wanted to be rid of her abusive husband, knowing that if she didn't leave he would kill her, but she had never wanted him dead. And she certainly hadn't wished this on Daniel. Daniel, who had always been there for her, who had supported her through this horrible nightmare and had been forced to kill a man because of it.

Now John was dead, and she didn't feel free. She felt more tied down and guilty then ever.

" Mommy… "Jacob cried. Samantha held him tighter. Her darling boy who would probably be scarred for life.

At least he has a life, Samantha thought gratefully. She didn't doubt John would have killed Jacob, and then her, if Daniel hadn't intervened. He saw them both as possessions, and saw destroying his possessions a preferable alternative to letting them go.

" I'm here, sweetheart, " Samantha said. " Darling, I'm sorry. " She didn't know what she was apologising for. That Jacob had witnessed John's death? That she had let Jacob believe that John was his father? That she had deprived him of a father that truly loved him? Samantha didn't know. All of the above.

Samantha heard the door to the caravan open, and voices. Ashly, and a man who's voice she didn't recognise. Ashly was apologising for letting Richmond past security, for falling for his charm ; Daniel was telling her it was OK, Richmond did that to everyone. Including me, Samantha thought. Well, he wouldn't fool anyone anymore.

A few minutes later Ashly poked her head in the door. " If you don't mind, " she said to Samantha, " the Doctor thinks it's a good idea to give Jacob a sedative. " Samantha nodded her consent. Daniel would need her tonight and she couldn't handle both him and Jacob after such a traumatic experience.

" Sweetheart, the Doctor's going to give you a shot, " Samantha told her son. " It'll make you feel better, I promise. " Jacob hated shots, but he held his arms out listlessly. Samantha felt guiltier. Less then an hour ago, she had been kissing Daniel and thinking there was real hope for the future. Now things seemed bleaker then ever.

A few minutes later and Jacob dozed off. " He should be out for about twelve hours, " the Doctor informed Samantha. " But it's probably a good idea if he stays in the same room as you, just so you're there when he wakes up. "

Samantha nodded. " Where's Daniel? " she asked.

The Doctor didn't miss her concern for the archaeologists, and her lack of concern for her husband. She only hoped Daniel wasn't getting in over his head. " He's pretty shaken up. We've moved him to another caravan, he was asking for you. Oh, and the Police are here. Are you up to explaining what happened? "

Samantha nodded. Better they talk to her then badger Daniel or Jacob. Passing Jacob to Ashly, she stepped out of the partition.

John's body was still there. She recoiled when she saw him, so… dead. She shuddered. Why did it have to end like this? What had she done to deserve this? What had Daniel and Jacob done?

The police were as sympathetic as they could be, but Samantha still found the ordeal stressful. Ashly had already put in her two cent's worth, telling the police Samantha had come to the dig in terrible physical condition – it was Ashly's guess she was running from an abusive husband. Samantha would have been touched if she had heard Ashly's defence of her. While Ashly might be disappointed that things wouldn't work out with Daniel the way she wanted, she still wanted him to be happy.

The cop asked her a few personal questions about her marriage while made Samantha cringe. It was hard to believe it was all over. She didn't want it to be over like this. She just wanted him to be out of her life. And now he was. But not without causing massive devastation to the two people in the world who meant the most to her.

Finally, they were happy with her answers and let her go. Ashly was waiting for her. " I brought you some clothes, " she said. " I figured you'd want to have a shower… and never see those clothes again. "

Samantha smiled appreciatively. " You've been really good about this, " she said.

Ashly feigned innocence. " About what? "

" About me and Daniel. I know you guys had something before I came along and you'd have every right to resent me… but you've been really good about it. "

Ashly shrugged. " Daniel never promised me anything, " she said. " If I wanted anything more then his body – well, that was my own fault. When I saw the two of you together, he was furious at you over Jacob, but it was obvious he still loved you. Being a bitch won't make him love me the way he loves you, so I may as well be an adult about it. Daniel's my friend, and I want to see him happy. I think you can make him happy. "

" I don't know about that, I seem to make things worse, " Samantha said mournfully.

" I think you need to spend some time with him, " Ashly said. " He just killed a man. He's pretty shaken up. He needs you. "

Samantha nodded. In a perverse way it felt good to be needed. God knew she had some debts owed to Daniel.

She spent half an hour under the shower, feeling the hot water run over her, scrubbing her skin until it was red. She felt like she would never be clean of John. Even from the grave he was haunting her.

It felt good to get into clean clothes. Ashly was right, she never wanted to see her old clothes again.

She crept into Daniel's new caravan (she would be quite happy to never see the old one again, either) and noticed Jacob in the corner, sleeping on a mattress. Someone had changed his clothes, probably Ashly.

Daniel was lying on the bed, unable to sleep. He'd been offered a sedative, but turned it down. He didn't want to be sedated, despite what he'd gone through that day. He didn't want to feel hazy and drugged out.

He had killed a man. A man who would have killed his son, but he had killed a man nonetheless. He had fired a bullet into the man's brain, and killed him.

John Richmond was dead because Daniel Jackson had killed him.

Daniel had taken a long, hot shower and thrown out the clothes he'd been wearing. He'd scrubbed his skin until it was red, and felt like he'd never be clean. Even from the grave, Richmond was ruining his life.

Samantha slid into bed next to him. " Hey, " she said softly. She reached out to stroke his hair. He pressed his head into the palm of he hand, embracing her touch. At least he wasn't recoiling from her, that was a good start.

She pulled him into her arms, his head in her lap. She held one of his hands with hers and stroked his hair with her free hand.

He was shaking. His hands were shaking, his whole body was shaking. He didn't want to talk, so Samantha didn't say anything. He gripped her hand tightly so Samantha pulled him up so his head was against her chest and held his other hand, with her arms crossed over his chest. She could feel his heart beating, and she could feel his body trembling.

I'm sorry Daniel, she thought over and over, although she didn't say anything. She knew Daniel didn't want to talk. She hoped her presence was enough for the time being. He seemed to want her here, so that had to count for something. I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you, if I can. Samantha doubted there was any way you could make up for something like this.

Daniel found a small degree of comfort in Samantha's arms. He had thought she would need comforting, and he felt if he had to take care of her as well as himself, he would break. But she had come into the caravan and silently held him while his body shook uncontrollably, his mind relieving the moment of killing Richmond over and over. He gripped her hands tightly, and she returned his hold, reassuring him that she was still there.

The hours slipped by, and gradually Daniel slipped into a fitful sleep. Samantha didn't let go of him, cradling him in her arms through the night.

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The next day, Samantha took her son aside to talk to him. Daniel was OK for the moment, and she had some serious explaining to do to her son.

Jacob had slept deeply, thanks to the sedative, but now that he was awake he had a million questions he wanted to ask. Was John Richmond his father? If he wasn't, why had his mother lied? If Daniel was his father, why had he waited so long to act like it? Who did he want to be his father, Daniel or John? He had thought of John as his father for nine years, but the last few weeks with Daniel had been the happiest of his life.

He was so confused, and resentful towards his mother for putting him in this position.

Samantha didn't know how to explain things in such a way that a nine-year-old would understand. Hell, she didn't understand why she'd done the things she'd done. Now that she was away from John's influence, she couldn't understand why she'd waited so long to leave. And she definitely couldn't understand why she'd married him in the first place.

" I honestly thought he was your father, " Samantha said lamely.

Jacob glared at her. " How you could think that? " he demanded. " How could you not know? I know how those things work, mom. How could you just forget something like that? "

Samantha squirmed. For ten years she had justified her decisions to herself so well that she had believed them. Now, faced with the two men she loved most, and the two men her decisions had most affected, her justifications evaporated. She had fucked up big-time. " I'm really sorry, Joe, " she said. " I made a mistake, what else can I say? I don't want you to be mad at me, I want us to be a family. "

Jacob turned his head away from his mother, his expression stony. Yesterday, he had been happy with his life. He had a mother who loved him and was becoming close to Daniel, who he thought of as his mother's friend. Now he was supposed to think of him as a father? After he had shot the man who he had been raised to believe was his father?

But the man he'd been raised to believe his father had planned to kill him. Daniel had saved his life.

It didn't help answer any of the questions racing through Jacob Richmond's troubled mind. He supposed his name wasn't Richmond, either. What was his name, then? Carter? Jackson? His whole world had been turned upside down.

He shivered when he remembered the way Richmond had struck him like he had. The side of his head still hurt and he rubbed it. The man he'd always thought of as his father had planned to kill him. No, Richmond wasn't his father, he had made that clear.

But he couldn't think of Daniel as his father, either.

Sensing her son's inner turmoil, Samantha tried to pull the boy into her arms. Jacob pulled away from her. He didn't want his mother right now, the woman who had brought all this confusion to his life. Why couldn't she just have been honest with him from the beginning? Why did she have to go and marry Richmond? Jacob thought about what his life might have been like if his mother had married Daniel. Probably happier. He had hated life in Washington. All the boys had made fun of him because he was so smart, and his father – Richmond – hadn't had much interested in him, either.

Jacob wrenched away from his mother and left the caravan. He couldn't handle being near her right now. He wanted to be by himself to sort his thoughts out.

Morosely, he found a spot away from everyone else where he sat down and stared at the sand. How quickly things changed – yesterday, everything had been great, and today everything was crap.

After fifteen minutes Ashly found him and sat next to him. Jacob didn't ask her to leave like he would have done with his mother. He liked Ashly, she was fun. She didn't patronise him like most adults did.

" Hey, " she said. " You're mom's worried about you. Said you just took off. "

Jacob shrugged. " She lied to me, " he said.

Ashly looked sympathetic. " It must have been hard for her, to live with that, " she pointed out. " And I think she really did believe that he was your father. Your mom and Daniel weren't together for very long. "

" She still lied to me! " Jacob protested.

" She was going to tell you soon, they both were, " Ashly said. " Daniel really loves you, and he didn't want you to reject him. He wanted you to love him like a father before he told you. Surely you can't deny that you've been a lot happier here then in Washington? "

Jacob was silent ; Ashly had a point. " You know, " Ashly continued. " Daniel's going through a lot right now. He'd really like it if he could spend some time with you. You were close yesterday, yeah? What's changed? "

" He's my father now, " Jacob replied. " He wasn't yesterday. "

" He was always your father, " Ashly pointed out. " And he's always treated you like a son. Hasn't he treated you better then – your mother's husband? "

" Yeah… " Jacob said cautiously.

" Then nothing's changed, " Ashly concluded. " Only now you know he's your father. Don't you want to be there for your father when he needs you? "

" I can't just pretend like nothing's happened, " Jacob complained. " I can't just act like he was always there for me and everything's great. He wasn't always there for me, " he added petulantly, suddenly resentful of the nine years he'd spent answering to John Richmond. Richmond had never really cared for him, only seen him as a credit to himself. Whereas Daniel – why couldn't he have grown up with Daniel as a father? Although it wasn't Daniel fault, Jacob found himself resenting him just a little for only just now coming into his life.

" He wouldn't want you to pretend for his sake, " Ashly agreed. " But he would really like it if you were there for yourself. Maybe you can find it in yourself to go and see him? I think he'd really like that. "

" Maybe, " Jacob said noncommitedly. Secretly, he thought Ashly was just a little bit right. He did want to see his father – Daniel. He was grateful Daniel had saved his life. He imagined what it must feel like to kill someone, and decided Daniel must be feeling bad. He'd go and see him later. For the moment, he wanted to think some more.

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Daniel was grateful Samantha wasn't acting clingy, like she had the last few weeks. She seemed to understand that his problems were bigger then hers, and had put her needs on the backburner to be there for him. He wasn't up to going back to work, so she stayed with him. Sometimes she held him and touched him gently, holding his hand, stroking his hair, sometimes they read separately, seemingly not having anything to do with one another, but he was always glad she was there. There was something reassuring about her presence.

He would have liked to have his son by his side, but he understood that Jacob had problems of his own. The man he'd been raised to think of as his father had tried to kill him, and he'd found out that his father wasn't really his father, and his real father had killed his step-father when his step-father had tried to kill him – it was really no wonder Jacob wanted some time by himself.

Samantha sensed Daniel was feeling moody, and she was by his side. " He'll come back, " she said reassuringly. " He's just a bit confused. I guess I don't blame him, " she added wryly.

" I didn't want him to find out like this, " Daniel said. It pained him to think about what his son must be going through, confused about his two 'fathers' – not to mention the whole shooting thing.

" Neither did I, " Samantha said. " I'm sorry, Daniel. I could have handled this a lot better. "

It was funny, now that he had the most reason to be angry at Samantha, Daniel wasn't. What was done was done – at least now Richmond was dead, he wasn't going to do any more damage to any of their lives.

Daniel rested his head in Samantha's lap. She was glad he had made the move, it showed he didn't completely had her, as he had a right to. She rested her hands on the top of his head. While he didn't go so far as to tell he it wasn't her fault, he was glad she was here. He liked being close to her, he liked her touch.

A little while later, Jacob came in, looking shy and lugging a game of Monopoly. It had occurred to Ashly that maybe the best way to get Daniel and Jacob talking was over something completely benign, like a board game that would keep them occupied for hours. " You want to play? " he asked shyly.

Knowing this was Jacob's way of being close to him, Daniel readily agreed. Samantha immediately found herself something else to do that required her to not be in the caravan. Father and son needed some bonding time.

Two hours later, Daniel and Jacob were in a bitter battle to the finish. Each fancied themselves as a Real Estate Mogul, and each was determined to clean out the other. With good-natured competitiveness, they cheated, lied and generally tried to undermine each other.

An hour and a half after that, they conceded a stalemate and gave up. Jacob allowed Daniel to keep him company on an early dinner. Samantha was still nowhere to be found. Daniel was grateful she had made himself scarce. He was glad she had been there for him last night, but right now he really wanted some alone time with his son.

He could tell Jacob was a little apprehensive about embracing Daniel as his father. Daniel understood, even if it broke his heart. Jacob should have grown up knowing Daniel was his father, not believing John Richmond was. But what was done was done, and Daniel was focusing on the future. He would win his son's love and trust. That Jacob had come without prompting (except maybe some helpful suggestions from Ashly) to him the day after Richmond's death meant a lot to Daniel meant he was open to a relationship with Daniel. It would just take some time. And Daniel had plenty of that. For his son, he would find time.

They didn't talk about anything serious, which was clearly what Jacob wanted. Daniel was dying to play with his son like a father would, but he restrained himself. For the moment, they were friends.

The weeks went by, and Daniel always introduced Jacob as 'Samantha's son'. While it was obvious to anyone who looked in the boy's deep blue eyes that he was Daniel's son, Daniel never referred to this, and for that Jacob was grateful. More then once it occurred to him that his step-father had never given him such consideration.

He now thought easily of Richmond as his step-father and Daniel as his father. But he wasn't ready to make that relationship public, so the three of them continued the thin facade of Daniel as nothing more then Samantha's friend.

Samantha and Daniel slept together every night, although he had never made anything that could be construed as a pass at her since that kiss. He liked having her close to him. Sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, having had a nightmare in which Richmond had succeeded in his mad effort to kill Samantha and Jacob. She was always there to hold him and cradle him back to sleep. He had no idea what he would have done to get through those nights if it wasn't for Samantha.

But he never made a pass at her.

She understood his reasons, to a degree. Romance wasn't exactly the first thing on your mind after you had just killed a man – especially when the woman was his widow. Samantha found it hard to consider herself a widow. That word applied to women who had loved their husbands, who had felt their loss keenly, who were sorry they were gone. Samantha was only sorry Daniel and Jacob had gotten hurt in the crossfire of John's death.

But it was still hard, sometimes, to lie at night with Daniel cradled in her arms, his masculine body so close, his masculine scent in her nose, when she felt a tingle go through her body. Oh, God, she wanted him.

Sometimes, when she was alone in the caravan, she touched herself. It was something she had done for most of her marriage to John – even when their marriage had been relatively good, he wasn't the most considerate of lovers – but not something she had done since being reunited with Daniel. It felt like such a let down when she remembered what sex with Daniel was like, but she wasn't going to go begging for some action. Daniel would come to her in his own time. Until then – Samantha shuddered as she brought herself to a climax, thinking about how much more satisfying it would have been with Daniel.

One day Samantha was alone, thinking Daniel wouldn't be finished for another few hours. She settled down and thought of Daniel and what she wished he would do to her…

Daniel entered the caravan to hear Samantha urgently crying his name. He thought she was having a nightmare, although she hadn't had one in weeks. He rushed to the other end of the caravan and hurriedly pushed aside the curtains that separated their bed from the rest of the caravan –

– To be greeted with the image of Samantha masturbating. His throat went completely dry. He thought he'd been embarrassed the time he'd walked in on Samantha kissing Narim, but that was nothing compared to this.

And he couldn't help but thinking how goddamn sexy she was.

So far, he'd restrained himself from moving things along with Samantha because he'd wanted to wait for the right time. But there wasn't a moment he was in her presence that he didn't desire her – and most of the time he wasn't in her presence, too.

Right now, the blood in his body was pretty evening distributed between his face and his lower regions.

Samantha looked at Daniel in absolute horror. Embarrassment swept through her body, though it did little to quench the fire she felt. Humiliated and wishing the earth would swallow her whole, Samantha turned away from Daniel, wishing one of them would disappear.

Daniel didn't know exactly what possessed him to do what he did next. He would never understand what had made him be so bold, except maybe the fire he felt in his heart… and a region a little lower down. He strode over to the bed and drew Samantha into his arms. She resisted his embrace, feeling humiliated, but he persisted. He placed his free hand on her stomach and slowly moved in down, enjoying the sensation of his hand on her bare skin until his fingers gently probed the inside of her thighs. She whimpered. " Daniel… " she cried gutturally. Her body tingled in anticipation of what would happened next.

She groaned when Daniel slipped his fingers inside her. This was already better then when she did it herself. " Daniel… " she cried louder as waved of pleasure began building up in her body. " Oh, God… " She had forgotten how… talented Daniel was. Daniel built her up and brought her down again, built her up and brought her down, prolonging her satisfaction until she thought she couldn't stand it anymore. " Daniel, " she said, her voice pleading, her body shaking. She arched her back and released a drawn-out groan as she climaxed in a way that only Daniel could do for her…

She collapsed on the bed, panting. She looked up at him lovingly.

He lowered his body so he was lying to the side of her, and kissed her. As if her body hadn't already had a sensory overload. She kissed him back eagerly, savouring the taste of him, the feel of his mouth over hers, his tongue tangling with hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him close to her. One arm snaked down the front of his body to his groin. " Tell me you want me, " she whispered mischievously, knowing from his strained pants that he wanted her.

" I want you, " he growled, trailing kisses down her neck. She squealed in delight. " Kiss me, " she ordered.

Daniel obeyed. Samantha wanted to spend the rest of her life kissing Daniel… making love to Daniel… she began to unbuckle his pants.

" Only if you want to, " he whispered between kisses.

" Of course I want to, " she whispered back between kisses. She helped him out of his pants and shirt, he helped her out of the remains of her clothes. She ran her hands down his bare back, and he bucked involuntarily.

He reached over to his bedside table for a condom. Samantha tensed up. " Daniel… " she said. " It's OK – the doc said I'm… completely clean. " She turned her head away, not wanting Daniel to see the humiliation on her face that she felt whenever she thought about it.

Gently Daniel turned her head so she was looking at him. " I wasn't concerned about that, " he said. " I was thinking I don't want you to get pregnant… if you don't want to. "

Oh, what she'd give to start over with Daniel again. But realistically, she was too old to get pregnant anyway. And she wanted to feel Daniel inside her. " Skin to skin, " she said.

Daniel kissed her. He wanted to be inside Samantha fully. " OK, " he said.

They took things slowly, exploring each other's bodies, making up for lost time. Samantha cried out in sheer job when Daniel entered her. It had been so long, too long…

Afterwards, Daniel held her tightly, their sweaty bodies tangled together. " I'm never letting you go again, " he whispered to Samantha. Samantha pressed her body against his in happiness.

" I love you, " she told Daniel.

He kissed the back of her neck, his fingers trailing her back. " I love you too, " he said. Things finally seemed to be going right for them.

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A week later Daniel's cup ran over. He, Samantha and Jacob were having lunch together. Jacob, as usual, was having a hamburger and fries. Richmond had never permitted such common food in his house, and now he was making up for lost time.

" Can I have the ketchup, dad? " Jacob asked casually, but neither Daniel or Samantha missed the word dad. Neither of them made a big deal about it, Daniel silently passing the ketchup, but Daniel was elated. Jacob was acknowledging him as his father. Things couldn't get much better.

Half an hour later, with Jacob occupied, Daniel and Samantha hurriedly undressed. " I love you so much, " he groaned as Samantha ran her hands over his body. He fell down onto the bed, naked, pulling an equally naked Samantha on top of him. She straddled him and began to ride him hard. Arching his back, he let out a groan. He could feel himself climaxing already, and knew Samantha was about to as well…

Both of them were too absorbed with their current activity to hear the door to Daniel's caravan open. A man entered into the caravan, walking stealthily to the far end where the bed was located. He had been told this was where Samantha Richmond spent most of her time. The man's lip curled up in disgust. Why she had left her husband to live in this hell-hole was beyond his comprehension. And judging from the sounds coming from behind the curtain, she wasn't exactly playing the grieving widow, either. Whore.

He threw apart the curtain to be greeted by Samantha's bare back as she rode her latest lover with abandon. He had always found her to be attractive, mostly because she was the only woman he couldn't have. John would have killed him. Well, now John was dead. That opened up a whole new world of possibilities.

But she had some nerve, shacking up with another man so soon after his death. She should know better. She should have more class. She should be more discreet. The wives of Senators were not supposed to act like whores.

" What the hell do you think you're doing, Mrs. Richmond? " Congressman Peter Richmond asked his late brother's wife.