Chapter…uh, Whichever We're on: Plummets
Sir Blaydelot had rushed into the room as soon as he threw open the door, pivoting to slam it shut once more. But—
Well, how mean am I? Could Put'oh have put his hand into the doorway to attempt to get within and then have been rudely…um, squashed? Hand crushed and bones powder? Finger quivering as the nerves yelled their anger and made fireworks of pain and light in the eyes? An indent still resting over his hand where the door had smashed it and blood bruises forming underneath—no, blood actually oozing out of the various cuts?
shiver That's just nasty. It didn't happen. I am not that mean! o.O…You don't believe that, do you?
…
Anyway, Put'oh was not fast enough to slip his hand into the path of the slamming door, and he saved his fingers in the lack of extreme alacrity. What had happened behind him remained a mystery for longer than it took Kiaba to aid the falling Axel. Muggy had not been the one to topple, so there was no reason for him to be alarmed. In fact, I don't think he even knew Axel had fallen. I mean, Axel was always hollering for something, so there was no reason for him to be alarmed. If the oh-so-chivalric knight Blaydelot had rushed into a room without halting to demand justice for an accidental murder, nothing must have been wrong.
The door was too sturdy to break down, and growling to himself, Put'oh once more doubted the sincerity of Blaydelot being hired by the king and queen and even the intelligence of the monarchs themselves. But then, he was wondering why it even mattered to him. It wasn't like he was the least bit interested in seeing this princess "rescued" and brought back home. She was just a dratted, blasted nuisance.
All that was needed for him to be reminded of why it all mattered was to look down and spot his brother pounding enthusiastically on the door below him.
"Eh? I must've died and gotten my wings! I'm flying!"
Sama-san-dono frowned at Kiaba, but since the sorcerer was moving on up the stairs, his gesture was invisible. So he went for the intimidating voice instead.
"Kia-BA!"
The djinni had to scamper up the stairs in Kiaba's wake in order for him to even respond.
"Put Axel down gently!"
There was a snort of derision from somewhere higher than Sama-san-dono's eyes could see. With the hood mysteriously covering his face, it irked the other self of Kun that he could not look into Kiaba's eyes and intimidate him that way. Wow, Sama-san-dono actually thought he would be the one to do the intimidating. Apparently, he never saw the script and description of the characters. Right there:
KIABA GRUFF: COLD, SARCASTIC, CRUEL, INTELLIGENT, CAUSTIC, ARROGANT, INTIMIDATING…
Obviously, a more-thorough-script-reading character should have been the djinni. So, can you guess who that would have been?
The understudy to everyone, of course! Fabecca Falconins. Can't you just see Sama-san-dono wearing a stern look and carrying a teddy bear? Kind of reminds me of when a certain adorable Kuriboh brushed up against him in his duel against Gansely and the guy rudely shoved the fuzzball away.
Anyway…
"I don't know if I should shatter his reality in that way. No doubt he's better left 'flying' on his new 'wings.' He's doing the world a lot less damage that way."
The djinni who had once been a giant that had been the other self of Kun was getting annoyed enough to do something stupid. What would be his stupid act? Why, attacking a sorcerer.
"I've had your disrespect for long enough!"
"Actually, you haven't even had it at all yet, and in case you're wondering, the rest of your group, namely this Axel whose brain is as sharp as a wheel, has had it for approximately twenty-six hours, sixteen minutes, and fifty-four seconds. So, I don't think it has been very long at all."
Is there anything more infuriating than being unable to come up with a comeback for such a self-satisfied, arrogant, conceited, haughty, egotistical, bigheaded, superior, proud, overconfident, supercilious, self-important, condescending sorcerer? (And yes, I cheated; the thesaurus button is such a lovely tool!)
So, needing some sort of comeback, this was the best the djinni could do: "Well…I think your time is off by a few seconds!"
Don't say that to the machine, please, don't say that to the machine. Great, here comes a lengthy explanation describing exactly what happened and when to account for every second of when this group had stumbled into this creepy machine-human's life.
But fortunately for you, we're going to a different view.
"Axel!" Tanner yelled.
"Alas, he is gone far and fast. Nothing we do will enable him to be as he was in the past. Gone is he is for good; give myself in his place I would…if I could."
"Yeah, right. You wouldn't be caught squashed as he is if you had any control over things. Such noble words you use and they are all lies. No wonder Princess Serenity prefers me!"
"Mangy cur, take that back! All your words unrhymed illustrate your slack!"
"Free verse is a very difficult skill to expertise in!"
The troubadour grabbed the minstrel, and with their strong fingers exercised in the playing of the lute, they went for one another's throats. Of course, from chanting poetry, singing ballads, and arguing all the time, their throats were quite strong as well. So it became a contest of which was stronger: lute-strumming fingers or prattle-rattling throats.
As could be surmised, the two never had a chance to find out. Kun was racing down the stairs at breakneck speed—literally—and charged full into them, doing what anyone would guess.
He knocked them off the stairs.
So, hurtling down in midair and still arguing over whose poetry was better, they smacked into Axel, breaking their fall and nearly breaking him as well. But it did save their lives. Well, that, and because they weren't so far up.
Now, when Kiaba makes a spell, he only makes good ones. So even with the added weight, the levitating Axel remained up. Well, up bodily, at least. Emotionally, he had taken quite a fall.
"What! Are you guys dead too?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, The Sir Prince Axel knew it was untrue. Wow, give him a cookie! He actually knew something. Well, it was really because he was assuming that if they were dead, those two certainly did not belong in heaven along with his own perfect self…but it still makes him seem semi-intelligent.
So, Kun was left yelping and staring down at the added casualties before again sprinting down the stairs. He really ought to have been slowing down because he was approaching Kiaba…and if the sorcerer were knocked off the stairs, though I doubt he would be human enough to topple, someone's head was going to roll.
Muggy was to the door as well, though he had at least watched Axel fall until he realized his other brother had halted the final splat. Then, after Kun had vanished down the steps, the youngest Gruff joined his brother at the door to attempt to enter.
It was only a matter of time before he gained entrance. That was just how such things worked. Sir Blaydelot had been unable to securely close the door, and in his rush, he had stacked whatever was closest in the front of it. But that raggedy drawer was being pushed aside. Quite easily, I might add.
So, being helped from within after a little sharp hiss, two people were adding a heavy chest to the stack to slow down Put'oh and Muggy.
"I know, brother! I'll go out one of the windows from the stair and climb over to the window."
"No, you won't! Brick walls are not remotely like rigging ropes! If you go out there, you'll fall and die!" His voice was growing higher pitched, because, naturally, as soon as his suggestion had been made, Muggy had raced over to a window.
More than ever, Put'oh was regretting ever making Muggy into a Squirmer. There were just too many downfalls of his being able to get out of people's grasps who knew better and were trying to protect him. Then again, it kind of came naturally along with his tripping.
Tripping like he was doing right then, and plummeting head-first out of the window.
"MUGGY! ATPOUNDMONEYPERCENT!" (1) Which, of course, was his way of swearing without actually saying anything bad.
As fast as Put'oh could go, there was no way he could reach there in time. And, as mentioned, it was possible the boy would slip out of his grasp from his ability to Squirm. Sometimes, even against one's will, the Squirm would happen like a slippery earthworm falling back to the earth and dirt from where a child dug it out in order to feast on the new object.
Kiaba, if you recall, was hardly human. The others even saw him chugging down some viscous black liquid that had to be more glumped than swallowed to get it down his throat. Remember? I said, "The consistency was a lot like oil, but oil was for machines…no, I am not going there."
Yet, when it came to his younger brother, as you should remember, he had a terribly soft spot. In fact, Put'oh was willing to wager the entire collection of rain forests yet available on the earth that Kiaba was as fond of the youngest Gruff as he himself was.
Now, the sorcerer may have thought of his twin's attitudes and panic attacks with derision, but there was a certain tone that anyone would hear the desperateness within, and that yelp of Muggy's name held more desperation than anything Kiaba had hear before. Granted, he rarely left his work tower, so it wasn't as if he had heard a lot of yelps. Then again, one never knew just what he did in his laboratory. Remember the clones?...
But, he was convinced such a yell had never echoed within the vicinity of the world in such a tone before. Doubtless, the yell would continue to echo through stories and valleys for many years to come as the death-cry of Put'oh. No, not a literal death-cry. But death of his utter being.
Playing smirking, infuriating sorcerer to Sama-san-dono would have to wait.
No one had ever flown up the stairs so quickly.
Oooh, remember how Kun was flying down the stairs? This doesn't look good…
C-R-A-C-K!
Wait! Look here. People just collided but they didn't fall off the stairs! Someone must have sucked up to the narrator.
Broken bones existing somewhere, I'm certain, Sama-san-dono gasped when he saw Kun as one of the victims. It wasn't as if the djinni always argued with his other self. Or so his selected memory told him. And now, concerned, he raced over to check him over.
Some sort of saving grace always happens, especially fairy tales. And, of course, Muggy is too well-loved to dispose of. So, what would happen but his futilely grasping hands caught onto something.
Something kind of grainy and thick. It would have been thick and luxurious, had it been real. But these were hair extensions, and even extended, you'll remember that it didn't reach the ground. But it reached part-way down the tower. And the window Muggy slipped through was directly under the windowof the tower the hair had been hanging. It was very surprising the hair hadn't been the kid's first initial instinct to climb. Then again, it probably had been.
So, dangling from a tail of cheap hair extensions, Muggy swung wildly outside the window, heart beating all the more as a faint wind blew his own locks about his face.
Anyway, you've been waiting to return to Blaydelot, haven't you? Or maybe Egomaniac with the waiting Iheezu? The witch Yor Love? The sad, depressed undine still keening for Barleyo? Or what about Fabecca Falconins and her Teddy? Don't tell me you want to return to the monarchs and their more average daughters. Should we do votes?
Okay, Blaydelot it is. With the princess who wasn't screaming, yet apparently, her hair extensions had just been grabbed.
Well, sorry, your votes were wasted. It turns out they were having a private discussion. No readers allowed. Sorry, girl talk.
(1): I was always going to type it out as words, but if you don't know what I mean, it is the symbols commonly used to replace swear words. I'd show you, but the site keeps deleting two of them when I type them in a row... Don't you love how it deletes its own name and other such words from the doc manager to the real thing?
