Chapter 21 Untitled for Once

Sama-san-dono checked Kun's pulse and was about to do mouth-to-mouth (even though knowledge of that wasn't invented yet) when the young man gave a loud groan. The djinni couldn't be certain, but he was thinking the groan may have had something to do with the loud crack that had sounded. There was an odd shape protruding at an angle on Kun, but there was no reason to grow alarmed over that. Nothing was jutting out of the skin, after all.

As for Kiaba…he never even passed through the djinni's mind, which can't really count against him. After all, if roles were reversed, Kiaba would have walked right by a dying Sama-san-dono. No, correction: Kiaba would have been the one to nearly kill Sama-san-dono.

Anyway, the sorcerer didn't hold it against the djinni mainly because he already held such a heavy grudge (especially for knowing the bald guy as short as he had!) and collection of contempt for Sama-san-dono that there was no need to add any more to make it more potent.

Since it was obvious no one was going to help him—not that he wanted help—Kiaba shoved himself to his feet with a terrible grinding sound.

Well, Kun was shorter, and where his collar bone took the glancing blow, it was Kiaba's left arm that went out of alignment.

Gritting his teeth (gasp! He's not a complete machine!), Kiaba stumbled on past the others with utter persistence merely because the cry of Put'oh still echoed in his ears.


Dangling from the hair and uncertain of being able to climb back within the window, Muggy did the only thing he knew instinctively. He climbed the hair up to the other window, the hair stable enough at the top to ensure he could come in easily. And once there, he gaped.

The reason there had been no scream was because these certain hair extensions had been lassoed to a bedpost and left hanging out the window. Very convenient for accident-prone boys needing to grasp something as they fall from the window directly under the one they were hanging from. Hmm…very convenient.

Panting, Muggy looked up to where, somehow, the knight and princess had not noticed his arrival. They stood at the other end of the room, closer to the door in case they needed to do something more to it and were whispering with their back to him. Well, rather, Sir Blaydelot was doing all the whispering, and it looked like he was doing it in a warning type of way.

Naturally growing curious, Muggy stayed quiet and slipped down to listen.


Once Put'oh realized with much relief that Muggy had not fallen to his doom, he raced back over to the door and pounded will all his might, interrupting their, the two locked within, conspiracy chat.

A shriek rang out from within, so he was guessing they had found Muggy. Obviously unable to keep everyone out forever, and really making Put'oh wonder why they had been keeping the others out at all, Sir Blaydelot came over and hefted the blockage aside to open the door. By then, Kiaba was grasping Put'oh's shoulder rather tightly and seriously asking where Muggy was.

"He's here," Blaydelot muttered through the open door.

Kiaba and Put'oh, for once appearing almost the exact same (they're wearing different clothes, after all. Put'oh would never waste so much fabric that could be used to clothe freezing humans by having a self-levitating cloak.), stared within the room at Blaydelot and the Princess Tranquility.


Farther back down the stairs, a certain pileup was dissolving.

"Get off me, you morons!"

Really, Axel, you ought to be looking in a mirror.

Speaking of mirrors, the witch Yor was at that moment approaching the tower still relaxing in her tub. Okay, not relaxing. She was frantically preparing herself to meet the man of her dreams, which meant a lot of digging around frantically as she attempted to show her pure beauty by slathering gunk all over her face.

But anyway, there's no need to focus on her or Egomaniac with the fortune teller standing silently behind him.

Instead, we must turn our attention to Kun and Sama-san-dono going down the stairs to aid the very angered and confused Axel, Tanner, and Earl.

After much trouble—yes, we're rushing through this boring part—and complaining, the five were at the top of the stairs also at the opened door. And they, too, peered within to see the princess.

"I've found you at last, dear princess! I have slain the kidnappers who held you for ransom and am now ready to give my utter being to your protection as we bring you back to the castle!"

For an ex-knight, The Sir Prince Axel certainly still had his chivalry-idiocy down, especially considering how he could no longer adventure.

Blaydelot closed his eyes briefly as if in pain or struggling. But the figure next to him smiled, brightening the very room with her gesture.

Sama-san-dono took a deep breath and stared. He had never seen such a lovely figure. Though he was no doubt ignorant of such devices, the princess had a very tight corset on to make her waist disproportional with the size of her, um, upper body (rated PG/K!). Yes, that hour-glass figure that people make such a big deal out of was certainly present on this one. And, no doubt, there had been a few operations performed to make such disproportions on her figure. In fact, no one but Blaydelot seemed to notice how tightly she was holding onto his shoulder to keep standing. Otherwise, her absurdly small waist would have been unable to keep her torso straight.

Unaware of everything but the cerulean eyes, short ruddy-brown hair, and blissful smile, Sama-san-dono sank into a murmured verse:

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

and summer's lease hath all too short a date:

Someti—" (1)

Tanner looked at de Vlin and both burst out laughing. "I've never heard such bad poetry in my life!"

Blushing furiously, Sama-san-dono fell silent. But the princess was chuckling slightly, cheeks red in pseudo-modesty. There were only about three tiny giggles before her face purpled and she was gasping for air. Blaydelot, in an annoyed way, helped keep her up until she was able to calm down. No large quantities of air could ever get in with such a tight corset. All for the sake of looking like an anime character.

"That's not the princess," Put'oh finally strangled out. His twin had narrowed eyes that meant the same thing.

"But…of course…I am." The girl had not quite gotten her air back in control, or maybe that was the best she could do when she was getting as much as she could.

Sir Blaydelot confirmed it: "This is Princess Tranquility. You can escort her back to the castle with your two friends there, but I have bigger matters to go on with." The knight's eyes flicked over to Kiaba, but the sorcerer was still glaring at "Tranquility."

Put'oh was shaking his head. "That's not her. I've seen her before. No offense, or rather praise, meant, but you are certainly not Tranquility."

Even Tanner and de Vlin were agreeing with him. "Serenity and Equanimity share some features, and we have seen the king and queen. You don't look anything like the royal family."

Blue eyes wide, the "princess" glanced at Blaydelot. "I am…she! Tranquility…is my name!" In desperation, she turned to Blaydelot. "Tell them…Your H—Sir-ness!"

"I already did," Blaydelot replied coldly. He was trying to urge everyone back down the stairs, a dangerous endeavor considering he was mostly just pushing and forcing others to get nearer to the edge where falling was a serious threat (as you well know).

Kiaba frowned and freed his hands from his robes, or rather, one hand. The other was still throbbing as it fought for attention, but the debatable-if-he-was-human sorcerer ignored all notions of pain. "Stop this charade. I know who the real princess is. I had a hint of it long before." He pointed one long, steady finger at Blaydelot. "Take off your helmet and let me see your face, Your Highness."

Fast on the uptake and being his twin, Put'oh suddenly realized he had never seen the knight without his armor except that one night in his brother's tower. But there, the young man had been wearing a hood to drape over his features.

Blaydelot was saying nothing, only glaring out from behind his helm.

The girl next to him did something very dangerous then. She burst into tears.

Obviously, from previous difficulties, it was apparent that her frame could not support such racking sobs, and trying to breathe was going to be fruitless with the strings so tight. Going from crying to gasping within moments, the "princess" was in danger of passing out.

Then, because being unable to breathe led to panic, she cried out with the last of her breath, "I'm just…the lady-in-waiting!...Lemonade! (2)Save me!"

Very frustrated and annoyed, Blaydelot drew his sword, making everyone inhale. Well, everyone but Kiaba and the choking Lemonade. But Sama-san-dono's and even Kun's were more drastic to make up for the lack of either one.

"You will not harm her!" the djinni cried, stepping before the sinking figure.

Rudely, Blaydelot shoved past and did a cut straight down Lemonade's front. Gaping, Sama-san-dono ran forward to watch her and hold her in his arms as she breathed her last, the blood pouring freely…

Except Blaydelot had merely cut the strings of the corset. Even the rest of the gown was undamaged. No disgusting displays of operated-on-cleavage here!

While that had been happening, Put'oh had stridden forward and firmly grasped the knight's helmet, pulling it off in one swing after the sword had been safely dropped back to his side.

Brownish-blonde hair tumbling free, everyone stared at the glaring Princess Tranquility.


(1): Shakespeare's "Sonnet XVIII"
(2): Téa...of course. The drinks, get it?