Fifth Champion: Thanks so much for all the reviews! I'm so glad you get so excited and guessed something about Blaydelot. Yep, I've seen Pirates, twice…unfortunately, that last thing was probably something I stole subconsciously because I can't even remember the scene. I wonder how much else I stole without realizing it…I know about the dead pirate part, though, and took that purposefully.
Garowyn: Thanks so much for the reviews! Bwa-ha-ha! Téa's not last! There's more people yet…well, we haven't seen them all, have we? Okay, minor duelists are not going to be included. That's great, I managed once more to make you feel dumb! Just kidding…about the happy part, that is.
Tawnykit: Well, look at my bio page! I managed to figure out how to do links. It's nice to know you weren't fooled…then again, I must not be too talented at mysteries, lol! And I'm glad you had some connections to real life. I was hoping everyone would recognize that sonnet.
Chapter 22 Cross-Dressers
"So you're telling me the princess had been along the entire time?"
Poor Axel. No, rather, poor everyone with Axel who continued to ask the same questions over and over.
Now, all the rather girly smiles made sense and how covered the knight had been whenever out of the armor. Even the voice they had been hearing sounded falsely low (which it had been) now that they knew otherwise.
"How could not one of you know?" Kiaba asked, swiveling from one figure to the other before shaking his head in disgust. Regardless, none of this really mattered to him.
"Never have I sullied my eyes with one other than the one whom I prize."
Clothier agreed with Earl. "I have only ever seen Princess Serenity with any reliability."
Kun had never seen any of the royal family except for the monarchs on that day they were assigned, and as noted, Put'oh, who may have recognized her, had only seen the knight in his armor. Her armor. Everyone was getting headaches.
Do you realize what all this means? Do you have any inkling what sort of effect this will have on the story? A very terrible one indeed!
sniff- I'm going to miss writing "Blaydelot…"
And a mournful author is nothing to joke about!
All right, all right, I'm sure you care nothing for my preferences.
Tranquility had changed from noble knight to stereotypical arrogant little princess twit all in a bat of the eye. Which Lemonade was doing quite a lot of—batting her eyelashes at none other than Sama-san-dono, making him blush again.
Now, this angered little Kun. Why shouldn't it? After all, the djinni wasn't even technically alive, and normally he was locked away inside Kun. But, because he was free, he was taking away all the chances Kun had with the lady-in-waiting. It just wasn't fair. At least one good thing came of this—Kun was so busy growing angry that he forgot the aching pain from a broken collar bone.
"Fine, I'm the princess. That just gives you all the more reason to obey my instructions!" She pointed at Axel. "You can return to the castle anyway and get your 'reward' by telling my parents I don't plan to stick around much longer. I have bigger goals than living on their 'generosity.' And I won't be marrying anyone they name for me no matter what!"
She turned toward the sorcerer. "You promised you'd accompany me to the next stage of my endeavor!"
Muggy, in great indecision, could not resist adding, "And I'm still your squire!"
Put'oh was instantly pointing out the flaw in his youngest brother's argument. "No, you're not. She was never knighted and therefore could not have made you her squire. You are free to travel away from her since anywhere away from her is safest. There's no need for you to be dragged into her murderous 'adventures!'"
Savior to all then entered:
Through the window where the hair still creepily crawled down the side of the tower, a wide shadow blocked all the light. Then, with a thud, the figure collapsed onto the floor into a heap.
"I know I'm needed…" The figure struggled to right itself, then finally, with a tug to straighten the dress, looked out at everyone. "I am here to help, godchild! It is I, the wicked troll godmother!"
Troll godmother indeed. There had never been a worse-looking godmother in all the annals of fairy tales. Or maybe the name should be troll tales now.
"Shut up," Tranquility said instantly, ignoring the new figure. Obviously, she was used to such sudden appearances of the grotesque godmother. Or rather, godfather.
Yes, there were many cross-dressers around here. But there was always a good reason for it!
The role of fairy godmother had to be played by a godmother. So, when one of their kind seemed to appear rather masculine, old, and unattractive, it had to mean that the godmother was just not a fairy. Instead, she was a troll. But really, it was just that the godmother was an old man.
Somberon (1), as he was called, did not appreciate being told to "shut up." I don't think many people are. The phrase was just so rude and would make a young person grow up vulgar, which was why Put'oh was fighting to have it removed from prime time television, not that television had been invented yet.
"I could take away my blessing, you know! Young people," he said in disgust, shaking his head. You couldn't count on any young people these days, especially to do their chores.
"You wouldn't—no. You couldn't take the blessing. If you had been able, you would have done so long before when my parents threatened to have your bandanna removed."
Most fairies had wings they took great pride in and could sometimes even fly with, but this godfather had a bandanna he swore let him levitate.
Still, despite her words, there was a hint of sharpness that indicated the threat was a good one. Apparently, whatever the blessing had been, it had angered her parents and really pleased Tranquility. Therefore, it was safe to assume it was something like being granted the Adventure Bug to bite her multiple times.
So, it is about time to get down to it and figure out (drum roll, please) Just What Does Tranquility Want?
Answer: To succeed where no one had ever done so before. And, the places to do that were with animals that were commonly found in fantastical stories: the unicorn, but that was no problem. She was a maiden, and to do anything with a harmless, innocent (unless you asked Axel!) creature was a waste of her time. But dragons…that was her goal. She could slay a dragon, but what good would that do? People had done it before. Tranquility wanted to tame a dragon and bring it home with her just to show her parents she was not useless. Then, she would go off adventuring some more.
Now, did Tranquility ever plan ahead or do her research and discover that Kiaba had a special affinity for dragons? Certainly not. She just knew she wanted a sorcerer nearby to distract it because odds were that the beast would kill her before she could tame it. But, luck was with her, because this dragon she was seeking, one so sparkly and clean it could almost be called white, with royal blue glittering eyes, was one that had an equal affinity back for the sorcerer. Well, his twin too.
Perhaps luck was another part of the troll godmother's blessing?
Nah, just dumb coincidence.
So, now that everyone besides the godmother and Tranquility were vastly confused, the godmother turned toward a grimacing Kun.
"Looks like you need some help. I know just what to do. Here."
There was a flash and a smell of rotten eggs, but miraculously, Kun's collarbone was back to normal. Or, at least it didn't hurt. The godmother turned to Kiaba next, but he held out a hand and muttered something in the language of magic.
"I don't want your help, old man. So keep it to yourself."
Somberon sputtered, deciding once and for all that today's youth was simply irredeemable. Of course, that just tempted the troll godmother to put a "blessing" on the sorcerer, but something told him it wouldn't work. Maybe it was the creepy way Kiaba was smiling at him, if smiling could even be used to describe it.
If ever there were danger being born from the moment, it was right then. This time, it was Tranquility looking at Kiaba with a pleased expression, and uh, maybe someone should tell her… "Hey! Blaydelot, aka Tranquility! He's a machine. Machines don't have feelings."
Anyway, no hope in that direction, even if being able to make others listen and do as commanded was a great feat Tranquility wanted. Kiaba would never be interested.
De Vlin was playing with a strand of his hair as he watched everything happening in a bored manner. If no one was going to rhyme to even make things interesting…He looked out the window, intrigued by the distance to the ground, and as he stuck his head out of the window, he saw something.
"Lo! Something out yonder makes me ponder!"
Tanner instantly joined him in sticking his head out the window, which actually made both of them safer. Now, if for some odd twist of coincidence they tumbled, they would immediately become stuck in the hole because the window was somewhat small.
Of course, everyone else wanted to see, but it was only Put'oh and Kiaba who were tall enough to see over the heads of the other two. The twins glanced at each other, said nothing, and both leaned over the others.
Down there, quite a sight, was a large bathtub having landed. Of course, Barleyo was there speaking to the ravishing occupant who had just climbed out. But the feminine figure never paid him heed, instead dashing up the stairs in one of her less intelligent decisions.
Running all the way up the stairs would just wear her out and force her to stop midway to reapply her makeup. And really, wasn't a more astounding appearance to drive her tub to the window and gracefully climb out? Perhaps Yor would even put Lemonade to shame. At the very least, she knew how to wear a corset without fainting.
Put'oh shook his head and muttered. Tranquility, who had been ignored and left in the back, too short to see, was excited.
"What is it?" She was already drawing her sword with a lethal grin. "Something come to kidnap the poor 'princess?'"
Muggy was looking at his brother with the same question, and Put'oh muttered, "It's that witch from the castle."
What was more frightening than Tranquility's expression was the one forming on Kiaba's. Along with the dark face, the others could feel him collecting power, and just the aura made the others feel ill.
"A witch." Kiaba chuckled lowly. "We'll see what she makes of a sorcerer."
Now, the real knight, or rather, the one who used to be a real knight—actually, that is technically two people—the one who was pretending to be a real knight…no, that describes them both also. Tranquility, despite having been "Sir Blaydelot," did not look anxious to stand up for the oppressed, or rather, soon-to-be-disadvantaged witch. So, the one who still really missed being his old knightly self stepped forward. Literally, striking his breast as he did so.
"I cannot allow such a callous display of might against that which is gentle and lovely. If no one else here will, I will protect the fair maidenly witch from this heinous sorcerer."
"Oh, really?" the sorcerer asked with a customary smirk. "Do you even know the meaning of the word 'heinous?' Or were you actually referring to me as a noble, with highness…?"
"KIABA!" Axel charged at the other, but, in reactions as fast as Put'oh's regarding his younger brother, Tanner and de Vlin clutched The Sir Prince's arms, keeping him alive awhile longer yet. But really, since it was only a matter of time before he killed himself, they didn't know why they bothered.
Somberon cast an annoyed glance at all these people taking the attention off him (I certainly forgot about him, what about you?).
"Tranquility, I think we should just go back to the castle. Your parents are probab—"
"Rejoicing," Tranquility finished. "I told you, I'm not going back there ever. I am old enough to journey on my own with no remonstrations, and I have to fulfill my quest. If you really cared about your job as troll godmother, you would come with me to help me."
The troll godmother just stared at her, aghast. Why did everything he try to help somehow wither and fall off the branch before blooming like a rosebud after fall's first frost? It just wasn't fair that he had been assigned to such a picky, snippety girl with no taste at all for royalty (or was it his "blessing" that had made her that way?). There went all his dreams of having a place of honor at the banquet table when Tranquility one day ruled.
Kiaba, without a flinch when he moved his arm as he walked, glared snidely down at everyone. "As odd and uncharacteristic as it may sound, I tire of these buffoons and am ready to go with to deal with the treasure-hoarder. Try to keep Mugguba safe and with you at all times if you can possibly do that, brother."
Put'oh scowled, reaching a hand out to his younger brother's shoulder, but the boy was frowning and stepping aside. "I'm going too! I'm Tranquility's squ—" he stopped abruptly when he remembered the old argument. Then his face brightened. "I know! I'm her lady-in-waiting!"
"Muggy!" Put'oh groaned, hiding his face with one hand.
"She already has one fine and capable of doing the job. And that would be me." Lemonade fanned her face as she went down into a curtsy-attempt, and just as she toppled over from her unbalanced weight distribution, Yor Love stepped inside the room, not a bit out of breath. But really, she had cheated, levitating up the center instead of walking up each stair.
The witch ignored everyone in the room, including the princess and smirking sorcerer, turning instead instantly to the center of her devotion.
"Oh, Axel!" she breathed.
Axel looked behind him, but his friends were looking at him with jealousy and complete confusion on how he had gained the beauty's attention, well, most of his friends. Kun and Sama-san-dono were both trying to help Lemonade back to her feet. The Gruffs were busy in their family feuding, or in Kiaba's case, ignoring it.
But, there was one developing minor, little, teensy-weensy problem the others had forgotten about in the arrival of Yor Love.
Uh-huh, a princess about to go berserk for lack of a plan to do anything else that would gain attention.
"EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP! ALL THOSE I INVITED ARE GOING TO COME WITH ME, AND WE'RE GOING TO TAME THE DRAGON, WHILE THE REST OF YOU IDIOTS GO BACK TO THE PALACE AND HARASS ANYONE ELSE AS LONG AS IT IS NOT ME!" With a traditional stomp for good measure, Tranquility (really doesn't live up to her name, does she?) reached out to grasp Kiaba's cloak and drag him with her down the steps.
Whoa-ho-ho! Just how would Kiaba take to that, do you suppose? That's right; he wouldn't. And, as he had been gathering together his magical energy in case the witch needed to provide him with some amusement, he was prepared to let it all out in a blast of power.
But he actually hesitated a split second before releasing all the cosmic forces and instead narrowed his eyes dangerously at her. And don't get any funny ideas—he's not becoming the least bit attached to her.
The heart stopping suddenly from the shock, Tranquility stumbled mid-stride and released everything as she crumpled to the floor, as close to a faint as the strong-hearted maiden had ever been.
Raging back to her feet, the princess was about to do something even stupider than Axel would ever do (I don't think he would have actually gone through with it, do you? I think he was glad his friends halted him), that being attack Kiaba. But, seeing his steady little smirk (not daring to look into his eyes), she recalled just what she wanted him alive for and merely brushed off her breeches. Then, with a toss of her head, Tranquility went down the spiraling stairs.
Kiaba's eyes were still narrowed and able to do damage to anyone's heart who saw The Look. Unfortunately, the sorcerer had forgotten all about how he appeared and was so used to glaring that he didn't realize this wasn't a glare but a Glare.
"Um, brother Kiaba?"
Turning his focus on his younger brother, the sorcerer was not pleased that Mugguba was not looking him in the eye. His face was averted and a slightly deeper shade of pink than usual.
Put'oh, hand fumbling slightly because he, too, would not look his own twin in the eye, yanked down the hood of Kiaba's self-levitating cloak to cover his eyes. About to downright snarl in annoyance and put on his Glare, Kiaba suddenly realized why they were doing what they did. His Glare was already on.
Getting back out of the Glare, especially in the frustration that the others had been the one to notify him of it, was not simple, especially when there was a snickering sound coming from someone else in the room.
Now, the snickering was not at all intended for Kiaba, but as so usually happens, when one feels like he is the center of attention for embarrassment, one will interpret everything as having a meaning for himself. The snigger, or rather, giggle (but Kiaba would never classify any sound as such a useless one), was coming from a different conversation.
"Eh? Who are you again?"
The witch was grabbing The Sir Prince Axel's arm, and with her perfectly manicured nails (oh, yeah, that's been around for quite some time, unfortunately) she hid a giggle.
"I'm Yor Love."
"You…you are?" Axel turned a deep red. Then, unable to suppress a broad if dorky grin, he added, "Of course you are. Who couldn't resist the charm of a newly-princed prince? Especially one that had been a knight not too long ago?"
Well, hearing those things officially wiped the Glare from Kiaba's face. In fact, he was close to gaping in astonishment. But, before he could sink so low as to have such a reaction from a mere peasant somehow turned prince, the sorcerer went down the stairs. Muggy clattered down after him, and with a sigh, Put'oh followed.
(1): Solomon (Grandpa) from "Solemn" to "Somber."
A/N: Well, how'd you like the surprise length? I just had to keep that section together or confuse people…I was confused when I was writing it in bits and pieces (yes, that's sad).
Finally, this is seriously as much as I have, so the update will truly be slow after this. I mean, I have one page of what happens next and another page of something that happens soon, but I haven't led up to it yet. So, rest and forget everything that's happened while I study dates and names and little tidbits, growing completely bored so that I have to type a couple sentences on my stories or risk going mad. Madder, I mean, of course.
