Shattered Soul

Chapter Thirteen - Birthday rememberance.

LottiRebel - If you insist on my updating then I shall! Lol. Eiko's coming up really soon!

Rifa - There's a reason Vivi broke down so easily - he was emotionally overloaded. As he says in a fic I'll never post 'My arms get tried, holding the world at bay, sometimes you just have to let people in.' He breaks down with her because she's very much outside the situation. As to the soul thing, I think it's pointed out that the twelve she's chosen did not show signs of developing souls of their own. Not all Genome's have souls (Infact, based on the game we'd believe that only three do, Kuja, Zidane and Mikoto). Next chapter isn't as long I think.

Saffire Raynius - Thanks Saffire! I'm much the same, angst is bareable if you can see a recovery happens, or else what's the point in writing an angst in the first place? Vivi squeaking now? Interesting idea ... hehe.

Gelendra - I'm glad that I'm being so inspirational. I'm not sure what my inspiration was for this, maybe it was what I was thinking in life at that point. (shrug) Who knows, all I know is that I had to write it for some emotional reason within.

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Entry 10

I spent most of today with Ellisa, we went shopping in the city and she told me that she was 18 today; I stumbled over what to say for a while, which made her laugh at me again and then I insisted on buying her lunch. She kept telling me it was nothing, that the reason she'd told me was because I kept asking her why she looked so happy (Which I did). Zidane came to join us after lunch and we went to see a play at Ruby's theatre; I can't remember a time when I'd been so glad to see anyone, Ruby wrapped me in a tight hug and told me that I looked really well (She was lying, my eyes are still really dull at times).

The play was great but I started to feel really sleepy and ended up half asleep against Zidane; I woke up completely when Ruby surprised Ellisa with a small birthday cake. She looked so happy to have gotten a cake that I really wished I'd known before so that I could get her a present; Zidane had arranged the cake when he'd banged into us in town and I'd told him it was Ellisa's birthday.

When we returned to the castle, Ellisa checked my wrist; she's been worried about my not using it but everything's okay with it. I didn't once think about what I did today, which really did help me to feel normal again.

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Vivi had never been to the wing of the castle given up to White Mages, knights and others in the employ of the Queen; there were fewer windows and the quarters were smaller but Vivi could not help that it felt more relaxed too. He soon found Ellisa's quarters and knocked on the door, "Liony is that you?" Ellisa yelled in response and he could hear her moving towards the door. As she opened the door, Ellisa's turquoise eyes turned a rich violet when she saw him. "You're not Liony," She offered with a grin, she wore a plain teal shirt and a pair of grey trousers. "Come on in,"

Vivi followed her into the room, her room was very neat and ordered, everything seemed to have its own place and he was almost afraid to sit down. "I - I …" The anxiety of being in her room caused him to revert to stammering again, he stopped, took a deep breath before continuing again. "I brought you a present, it … isn't very much because I didn't know what you like so …"

She chuckled slightly, "Vivi, you didn't have to do this," She said, wrapping him in a quick but very tight hug. When she let him go, she went in search of a vase for the flowers, "Feel free to sit down, I know there isn't anywhere other then the bed but I don't mind you sitting there." As she left the room, Vivi did so; he suddenly realised what was so strange about the room, there were no photographs or personal effects of any kind. In a way, it reminded him of his own room, devoid of any kind of personality; whereas his was that way due to necessity, hers seemed to be that way out of choice.

A simple glass vase held the daisies when Ellisa entered the room again, "Aren't these from the Queen's garden?" She asked him, and Vivi nodded in reply. "I guess that's the advantage of knowing royalty, you can go pinch their flowers when you like."

"I asked first," He said defensively; despite how close they seemed, they were still essentially strangers and Vivi was aware of this. "I didn't mean to stay long, I was going to go and see Garnet today too,"

"Of course, sorry to keep you; I'll be around at some point."

He stood and headed towards the door, "Oh and Vivi?" He looked back to her, seeing that she was grinning evilly. "Twice," She said and he was a little confused as he left the room. Looking towards the daisies, Ellisa's smile became sadder, 'Why is it that the past catches you wherever you go?' She pondered, moving to pluck one of the simple white flowers from it's vase. 'I remember putting these on her grave, I only got to do it once,' She stroked a plain petal with one finger. 'Only once before that hag decided I was old enough to stop!'

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Entry 11

I surprised Ellisa with a birthday present today, nothing huge just a box of chocolates and (with Garnet's permission) some daisies. I thought she was going to kill me - she hugged me that tightly! I go to all this effort of slowly getting better, only to be hugged to death by my doctor.

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Entry 15

Dagger let me spend some time with the baby today, just holding her as Garnet had a bit of a rest (She looks more exhausted then I do, which at times is saying something.) Dagger told me that she and Zidane had chosen a name, but I'd have to wait until her announcement to find it out, I'm hoping I can get it out of Zidane by the end of the week.

Today has been a good day, after seeing Garnet I went to see Quina and s/he made me something good to eat (Really good chocolate fudge cake!) I love chocolate cake, for my 13th Birthday (awakening day, The day Quan caught me, whatever it technically is) my sons made me one, admittedly, they were all covered in flour when they brought it to me.

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Entry 17

I got a reply from Mr. 288, who apologised for taking so long before telling me that I was (In a very polite and round-a-bout way,) an idiot, But he did admit that he would have done the same. He says that he doesn't remember being dead, but he knows that a good deal of time has passed without him. According to Mikoto he has emotionally aged the four years he missed, which means the boy's should do too (Making Calan 14 and Valian 10 when they come back in four years time.) Somehow, it feels like I've missed out a big chunk of their lives; but I've got to learn to live with that.

I've decided that Mikoto should try to bring them back, she did warn me that some of the other mages took longer to wake then the others (33 and 234 took a lot longer then 288 and 111). I never expected to see any of them again, so I'll be happy no matter how long they take.

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Entry 32

It's the child's announcement in two days time, miraculously Zidane has managed to not tell me what her name is! With the announcement, most of the others will be here; I literally walked into Sir. Fratley today, who looked like he'd seen a ghost and touched my shoulder with his lance before leaving, I hope Freya will explain that to me.

Even worse then Freya and Sir. Fratley, Regent Cid is in the castle, he arrived yesterday; I really don't want to see him yet and Zidane realised this and let me eat alone in my room but pointed out that I'd have to face him eventually.

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AN: An upcoming meeting, anxiety in a still fragil heart, just how will Princess Eiko Carol Fabool of Lindblum take her friends Suicide attempt? Find out next time in 'Shattered Soul.'