Lead
Crow snickered.
Sailor
Lead Crow: Eternal Sailor Moon... Pitiful!
Hotaru:
And just who are you!
Sailor
Lead Crow: Jeez, gimme a second to introduce myself! Imatient
bitch...
Hotaru crossed her
arms.
Haruka: Natazu...
Sailor
Lead Crow: I am Sailor Lead Crow! And I'm here to kill all of
you!
Haruka let out a high pitched
scream. Hotaru and Usagi gasped.
Usagi:
Another Sailor Senshi!
Hotaru:
She can't be! She's evil!
Usagi
turned toward Lead Crow.
Usagi:
How do you know I'm Eternal Sailor Moon!
Haruka
moved in front of Usagi and glared at Lead Crow. Hotaru pushed into
Haruka.
Hotaru: Hey, hey, the only
staring will be done by ME! The stare master!
Haruka:
Sheddep...
She growled. Haruka walked
away, pinching Usagi's butt on her way.
Usagi:
-ACK!
Crow took this opportunity to
strike. Her long whip lashed at the three teenage girls, cracking
loudly. Haruka danced about, narrowly missing every attack brought on
by the cruel woman.
Haruka: I learned
all this from Michi!
She boasted,
prancing about like a woodland fairy. Haruka laughed and snorted.
Lead Crow became highly angered at Haruka's lack of seriousness. By
then, Haruka was twirling Usagi. The two girls giggled as they
danced.
Hotaru: Hey! Don't forget me!
Dance with me, too!
Sailor Lead Crow:
DO YOU MIND! I'M TRYING TO KILL YOU, HERE!
Just
then, a suped up porsch sped by the park entrance.
Haruka:
Oooh, a porsch!
She let go of Usagi
and ran after the admired car. About twenty seconds later, Haruka
came back driving the vehicle at and incredibly high speed and ran
over Hotaru.
Sailor Lead Crow:
HAHAHAHAH! ONE DOWN!
Usagi:
Hotaru-chan!
Haruka:
Oops...
Stars
title screen and title music
Sailor
Moon Stars
Sexy Evil Clashes With Two
Flat-Chested Blondes!
The Weird Battle!
Sailor
Lead Crow descended upon Haruka and Usagi with her whip
drawn.
Haruka: Oh my...
Sailor
Lead Crow: Damn Sailor Senshi!
Haruka
laughed.
Sailor Lead Crow: I'll
punish you all!
Haruka: NOT
IF I CAN HELP IT! HA!
Sailor Lead
Crow whipped Haruka hard in the butt.
Haruka:
Owwwwwww!
Haruka rubbed her
ass
Haruka: Damn... PUNISH ME
SISTAH!
Sailor Lead Crow jumped up
and landed in front of Usagi.
Sailor
Lead Crow: DIE!
She whipped
Usagi across the face, leaving a big scar across her face as tears
ran down her cheeks.
Haruka:
Bahaha
Usagi:
GAH! WATCH IT! OO
Haruka slipped
between Usagi and Lead Crow.
Haruka:
Leave her alone, Betch!
Lead Crow
grew angry and clenched her whip. She raised it above her head.
Haruka watched the whip. Lead Crow laughed and kicked Haruka in the
crotch.
Haruka: That's it!
She
screamed, as she pulled her vibrator from her pocket.
Haruka:
URANUS PLA--
Usagi:
Pssst! Haruka-san!
Haruka:
SHEDDEP! IM TRANSFORMING!
Usagi:
That's not your transformation stick!
Haruka
looked at the object in her hand.
Haruka:
ACK!
Lead Crow and Usagi sighed.
Haruka reached back into her pocket and this time she pulled out her
transformation stick.
Haruka: HA!
URANUS PLANET POWER!
Usagi then
backed away a bit, and ran behind a tree to transform into Eternal
Sailor Moon. When she had finished, she ran out and stood by Sailor
Uranus' side.
Eternal Sailor Moon:
HEY! Leave us alone!
She yelled,
pointing her wand at Lead Crow and giving a serious glare. Lead Crow
just chuckled and pulled out a black hole capsule.
Super
Sailor Uranus: What the fuck!
Sailor
Lead Crow: You have only one choice! Be my Ho's or I'm gonna kill
you!
Super
Sailor Uranus: Oh crap! Sailor Moon, save us!
She
shouted, hiding behind Eternal Sailor Moon.
Eternal
Sailor Moon: Wussy...
Sailor Lead
Crow whipped Eternal Sailor Moon, this time hitting her
backwards.
Super Sailor Uranus:
URANUS WORLD SHAKING!
Lead Crow
avoided Uranus' attack and slid right into her, knocking her down.
She stood above Uranus, laughing evilly, then stepped on her chest,
pinning her to the ground.
Super
Sailor Uranus: AHHHHHH!
Sailor
Lead Crow: I think Sailor Moon would agree with me that Uranus is a
Sailor Urawuss! HAHAHAHA!
Super
Sailor Uranus: Dewd... Really bad joke...
Sailor
Lead Crow: Sorry...
Lead Crow pushed
her foot down on Uranus' chest.
Super
Sailor Uranus: AHHHHHHH!
Sailor
Lead Crow: Don't worry... It's not like I'm squishing anything.
Just
then, Eternal Sailor Moon dove into Lead Crow, knocking both of them
on their butts. Sailor Uranus got up and kicked Lead Crow in the
gut.
Super Sailor Uranus: You one
cent whore! You don't mess with the Rukes master!
Sailor
Lead Crow just smiled and held out her hand with the capsule in it
towards Eternal Sailor Moon. She threatened to toss it at Eternal
Sailor Moon so she would be engulfed in nothingness forever.
Sailor
Lead Crow: I'll do it!
Super
Sailor Uranus: NO! DON'T!
Eternal
Sailor Moon: I'll never give you what you want! I'll never surrender
my body to you! Unless you provide me with a lifetime of-
Super
Sailor Uranus: NO, Sailor Moon! Don't go to her! You're welcome to
visit me and Michiru anytime for some sweet lovin'!
Eternal
Sailor Moon: OK!
Uranus and Moon
hugged, then started making out.
Sailor
Lead Crow: Enough! GALACTICA TORNADO!
Eternal
Sailor Moon got blasted. She flew into a wall, letting go of her wand
as she screamed.
Super Sailor Uranus:
OO! Sailor Moon!
Eternal
Sailor Moon: --GAH!
Lead Crow
jumped on Sailor Uranus, lifted her skirt and started eating her
out.
Super Sailor Uranus: GET HER,
SAILOR MOON, WITH THAT PRETTY WAND OF YOURS!
Lead
Crow lifted her head and told Uranus that Eternal Sailor Moon dropped
it when she was blasted. Sailor Uranus pushed Lead Crow back down.
Eternal Sailor Moon opened her eyes and tried to move.
Eternal
Sailor Moon: I can't... I am to hurted...
Super
Sailor Uranus: Oh...
Lead Crow worked
her way up to Uranus' chest.
Sailor
Lead Crow: OH NO! I guess I really did flatten them!
Sailor
Uranus punched Crow in the face and threw her off. Sailor Lead Crow
was really pissed off and killed Sailor Uranus right then and there.
Eternal Sailor Moon began moving around on the ground where she lay.
Lead Crow remembered the black hole capsule and noticed she was no
longer in possession of it.
Sailor
Lead Crow: CRAP! I must've dropped it!
Eternal
Sailor Moon rose up and grabbed her wand. Lead Crow was down on her
knees searching for the capsule. Eternal Sailor Moon spotted the
capsule near Lead Crow's foot. Sailor Lead Crow noticed Eternal
Sailor Moon was up and stared at her. Suddenly, Makoto walked by
carrying a box of home-made cookies, followed by Ami and
Minako.
Makoto: If I would have known
in advance, I wouldn't have made cookies shaped like lips. What's
this new boy gonna think, huh!
Minako
and Ami stopped walking. Makoto noticed that they weren't following
her anymore.
Makoto: Huh!
Minako:
Cookies shaped like lips!
Ami:
That's kinda weird...
Minako:
She must be after some new guy...
Makoto:
That's not true!
Eternal Sailor Moon
and Lead Crow ignored them and continued.
Sailor
Lead Crow: Stupid boy...
Eternal
Sailor Moon: I at least have boobs, unlike Uranus.
Sailor
Lead Crow: Seems I have lost the capsule... But that doesn't mean I
can't still kill you. Because I will. SLOWLY AND
PAINFULLY!
Eternal Sailor Moon
panicked and flashed Lead Crow. Crow covered her eyes and backed up,
screaming. She stepped on the capsule and it cracked open.
Sailor
Lead Crow: AHH! NO!
A black hole
quickly formed and engulfed Sailor Lead Crow, trapping her inside to
die a slow death. Eternal Sailor Moon grinned a bit as she walked
slowly closer, but not too close.
Eternal
Sailor Moon: Now yer gonna get it.
Sailor
Lead Crow: A- Am I going to die?
Eternal
Sailor Moon: Jeez... I sure hope so...
Sailor
Lead Crow: But... I'm expected at the strip club tonight...
Crow
closed her eyes as streams of tears flowed from them.
Sailor
Lead Crow: I'm goning to miss... Happy Hour at the bar...
The
pressure inside the black hole forced Crow into a curled
position.
Eternal Sailor Moon: If you
want me to save you, you'll have to do something for me.
Sailor
Lead Crow: What could you possibly want from my life! I'm
dying!
Eternal
Sailor Moon: Oh... Umm... Gimme the vibrator you stole from
Haruka-san!
Sailor Lead Crow tossed
the vibrator out of the black hole. Eternal Sailor Moon picked it up
and shoved it inside herself, then ran around in circles like an
idiot. Suddenly, the black hole began to get smaller and smaller.
Eternal Sailor Moon came running back to Crow's prison with a bunch
of cloured confetti in hand and threw it into the black hole.
Sailor
Lead Crow: AAH! DON'T JUST THROW CONFETTI AT ME! GET ME OUTTA
HERE!
Eternal Sailor Moon
reluctantly stuck her hands into the black hole and grabbed Lead
Crow's hair. She pulled and pulled, but Crow wouldn't budge.
Sailor
Lead Crow: YAAAA! THAT HUUURTS!
Eternal
Sailor Moon let go and the black hole disappeared along with
Crow.
Haruka: Boo frickin' hoo!
She
turned to Haruka, surprised.
Eternal
Sailor Moon: I thought you died.
THE END
Usagi:
Today on "Sailor Moon", we kicked Lead Crow's butt!
HAHAHA!
Haruka:
Yeah! We kicked it good! And then she died!
Usagi:
And only in "Sailor Moon" can we bring dead Sailor Senshi
back to life. So, you're lucky, Haruka-san, otherwise, you'd be in
deep dog crap for running over Hotaru-chan.
Haruka:
I thought SHE was the bad guy! How was I supposed to know!
Usagi:
Well, the spaghetti was in the pot, so it was pretty obvious who's
side Hotaru-chan was on! Eternal Sailor Moon says!
