Chapter 25 Too Common a Number to End on, so Not Yet the End!

Tanner stared at the now female-looking figure in a garment made of tree bark and leaves. Could it be…?

"A dryad, one of the lovely folk," de Vlin murmured. "Here could I stand and gaze, let you my eyes soak."

Now, this figure was not strictly a dryad. Not by the Fairy Tale Slash Fantasy Rule Book. No, they were different. But as such a creature did not have another name, she can simply be called dryad, especially considering the one calling her that was not exactly the smartest of the troupe.

"Calmity," both of them breathed as the creature opened her greenish-brownish-yellowish-reddish eyes. With a faint smile, the dryad put a hand to her chest area. Already, she knew her name.

Now, what exactly is the point of introducing another character so late in the story? She must be useful to the plot somehow, mustn't she? Dang…I need to think. Let's go somewhere else.


Glug glug once more. Poor Barleyo. And do you think Egomaniac is going to help him? No, of course not. He had died already so many times that another death wasn't going to shock him. Well, it wouldn't shock him, but if he ever realized that when Barleyo died, he too, would be gone, he might have had a different reaction.

But as he had landed in the swiftly-flowing stream that connected to the ocean, lo! and behold, what would save him but the undine that had been so taken with him before. She had been following them as far as possible, of course. And it was her arms that swept him away with the current, saving Barleyo from terrible bruising from hitting the stones of the riverbed.

Now, what shocked the young man more? Falling through the air into a river from a height, or having an undine smiling at him as she swam him away? The undine, of course.

Foolish mortal! Egomaniac growled. Enough nonsense! Stop flirting and get out of the water!

But Barleyo had no way to disentangle himself from the water sprite's powerful arms, and losing air as he was pulled under the water, he could do nothing but stare at the face of his savior.

Growling in his mind, Egomaniac took over and lunged with his teeth at the undine. With an underwater screech, she dropped him abruptly…no longer was this creature her utter adoration. The undine pumped frantically to get back to her unsullied sea…the waters that held the depths and sparkles of her memory of her beloved Barleyo untainted by this evil thing.

Snickering, Egomaniac surfaced on the water, throwing back his head (neck-ache for poor Barleyo!) and laughing at the sky.

"Now, I've just to find and follow the princess and snag her riches and I'll be happy. Once I'm ruling the world, of course."


"I don't like your powers. Are you going to try to take over the world some day?" Sama-san-dono glowered at the sorcerer from where the group had suddenly appeared under an awning.

Most dragons made homes in caves, but this isn't a normal fairy tale. It is listed under "parody" for a reason. The Old-Eyes Off-White Dragon made its home in the midst of a field, having a nest like a bird's. Only, instead of twigs, grasses and trees became the making of the nest.

Away over the fields, a faint trail of smoke drifted lazily into the sky. That was what Kiaba was watching as he smirked at the djinni's words.

"Are you?" Sama-san-dono demanded.

"Why would you think that?" Muggy demanded right back. "My brothers are geniuses and they're going to save the world!"

The djinni and wannabe-knight glared at each other, not being too different in height, much to Sama-san-dono's dismay.

Lemonade stared at the smoke drifting, turning white. She was all for serving the princess in many of her monstrous plans, but taming a dragon? And the princess wasn't even in sight.

Wait. She was wrong.

There, careening toward them on a frantic winged horse came Princess Tranquility. And speeding along behind were Axel and Yor Love. What was most amusing, however, was that the stallion, before white, was still galloping after his Pegasus friend from the ground. Now, his coat was brown and stinky. The lady-in-waiting looked at Kiaba in relief. Teleporting had truly come in handy. She was glad she wasn't dirty.


The Old-Eyes Off-White Dragon sat on The Mound That Was His. Most dragons hoarded treasure and sat upon piles of wealth that could encrust into their belly, kind of like Smaug. But not the Old-Eyes Off-White Dragon. Nope, no treasure for him.

Treasure wasn't comfortable to sit on!

Instead, this dragon just lounged about (he was called "Old-Eyes" for a reason!) on his mound of soft grass and dirt. A mound commonly found in meadows. Just an everyday, commonplace, found everywhere mound.

Well…it was a burial mound, actually.

But the dragon didn't know about all the odd and ends of warriors buried beneath him. His sense of smell was leaving him, after all.

So the dragon sat on The Mound That Was His as he rested, sending his plume of smoke drifting slowly into the sky. Breathing lightning gave him bad breath, after all, and he was trying to make it smell a little nicer (really bad breath if the dragon could smell it) by releasing all the toxins. He'd been trying for years.

And so, his light blue eyes gazing at the sky as he lay dreaming of a boy with black hair and his older brother riding him, Old-Eyes rested peacefully.


Tranquility took a flying leap. Did you expect her to do anything else? And where was she aiming? Well, she never exactly "aims." Not in her character. But I suppose I'm feeling generous, so the Blaydelot part of her was aiming for the running, filthy stallion.

And knowing me, no one is going to land well.

Ouch.

Did Kiaba, her "wonderful benefactor, maybe even partner," raise a finger to help her fall?

Of course not. That would have encouraged her. And the witch was too busy flirting with Axel and despising the princess to help. The only one who did was Kun. He raced over to try to catch her, but he was far too slow. Muggy joined him, eyes wide, and Put'oh even came over to check her vitals.

No such luck on her being dead.

Nope, the princess dusted herself off with a scowl on not being caught, but she soon grinned again, trapped in the heat of the adventure. The dragon was so close…

The tub landed softly nearby, well, as softly as a load of bags and passengers could. The Pegasus, however, just flew on, kicking his heels at the princess before flying away back to the forest. The stallion rolled his eyes, mouth flicking foam, and stood there gasping. With an annoyed flick of his tail, the beast turned tail and trotted back to the forest, his haste and clean coat wasted.

"So, are we all here?" Sama-san-dono asked gruffly, still upset on how short he was. Maybe he ought to turn back into the giant. At least then no one was taller than he was. But Kun hadn't been able to get rid of him yet…and maybe the djinni didn't know how to turn back either. But he'd never admit it.

"I'm here, but I don't think I want to be," moaned Lemonade, acting like the stereotypical dependent girl. In fact, she would have been clinging to her savior but for the monarchs' rules.

The witch scoffed at the lady-in-waiting's words, and it spurred her on to cease concentrating on Axel, instead being her own woman…at least until she was on her own and could safely be away from the idiotic young woman and let out her own girly-girl attitude without fear of the others deeming her a copier.

"I'm here; Axel, my darling, is here; the princess is here; the Gruffs, all three, are here; the little guy and his djinni is here; you're here; those other nuisances are gone. What more do you want?"

"Barleyo! Barleyo and de Vlin and Tanner are gone!" Axel yelped. "Where'd they go?"

No one could answer. The only sound was the trickling brook, where a pasty pale, dead-in-the-water-too-long, smelly, pus-covered, scabby, flaking arm reached out and grasped the ground to haul its bloated body out of the river.

Sigh. Darn. Was too into that funny-that-was-supposed-to-be-scary show that was on television. The arm was pasty pale, it's true, but nothing exceptional. And it belonged to a body that had relations to having been dead, but as Egomaniac was but a spirit inhabiting him, his decayed body fish bits, I just exaggerated a little.

Barleyo had arrived, escaping the undine once more without getting whacked over the head and married before he knew what happened to him (who would do that to a person? –innocent look-) thanks to his ancient ancestor.

"Barleyo!"

Kun jumped over and helped haul his relatively new friend out of the water. Muggy and Put'oh helped, and Axel tried, but somehow, he just ended up in the water and needed to be pulled out as well.

Finally, everyone, well, everyone but Earl and Clothier, was on the bank and waiting. Waiting for the princess to tell them what the plan was.

"Princess?"

Silence.

"The little twit went off without us!" Put'oh growled.

Muggy frowned and peered around anxiously. "Not without all of us! Brother Kiaba went with, too!"

Everyone looked around the long grass and wondered just where the other two were and if there was soon going to be a VERY angry dragon coming their way.


Calmity, and her purpose to the plot, is who we return to. Her purpose? To keep these suckers away from the dragon as long as possible! No doubt, with some hymn of courage or some epic tale to spur on the adventure, they'd ruin the entire ordeal.

So, the dryad that wasn't a dryad was dashing between the trees at that very moment, giggling as she flew gracefully between the undergrowth and trunks, looking more natural than a squirrel. Of course, the other two idiots were grinning like what they were and following.

"She loves me! Ah, yes, I see!"

"You? No, you're wrong; 'tis I she for whom she longs!"

And such was their dialogue as they followed after the girl eagerly, all thoughts of Princess Serenity completely forgotten. "Calmity" had replaced her. And rather quickly, too.

The girl/dryad never spoke a word, simply smiling as she went through the woods in a quick speed. The poets were unable to speak in awe as they struggled to keep up. All thoughts of their comrades had vanished by that point.


Their comrades were anxiously searching the grasses for the sorcerer and the princess, but the two seemed to have had this planned all along for how well they had escaped. If the others hadn't known Kiaba as well as they did, which wasn't very well at all, they would have believed that. But there was no way the sorcerer would have done anything as plan with the princess.

So, as Put'oh was muttering as he walked in a great haste, his twin must have seen Tranquility depart and followed. Or maybe his brother had even left first. But they both had to have been going towards the trail of dragon smoke.

"Muggy, don't you—"

The boy was hurrying past, anticipating his brother's demand to be careful. When Put'oh paused to make fists, the rest of the group trumped past him, even Lemonade. So he kept following them.

Soon, voices, somewhat hushed, drifted through the long grass.

"You're supposed to make the dragon sleepy so I can climb onto its back."

From the pause, the others knew the Gruff was smirking. "And you think climbing its back will tame it?"

A muttered curse or something of the sort escaped the ears listening, and Blaydelot continued, "Just do it, sorcerer. I'll deal with any repercussions."

A low chuckle came from just nearby, but the others had ceased moving long ago in order to listen.

Kiaba narrowed his eyes at the princess as he listened to the dragon breathing from a scant twenty feet away. So old, it hadn't realized they had come so close. But, from somewhere deep within, Kiaba felt its presence like another younger brother to watch out for, and he didn't question gut feelings. He was a sorcerer, after all.

"Oh, will you? The repercussions of the dragon? The loss of its pride when it realizes that its perfect record of being untamable was crushed? The bruises from where you harass its back in your pounding of triumph to make it fly? The depression that is such a danger to old creatures that may very well take away its will to live? The life that may later suffer from the grouchiness of the lightning-breathing dragon for having to give a ride to the mortal? And even your own parents' approval that you've done something fresh and new?"

The princess was frowning now, eyes sparking. "No, I don't want any approval from my parents. If they approved this, I wouldn't be doing it. And you're starting to sound like your twin."

That was a dangerous line to say to Kiaba, but his face did not change. His eyes, however, were close to being a Glare.

"Do what you want, Your Highness, but I've something to do before I aid you in your endeavors."

Kiaba stood up and strode ahead before Tranquility could grasp at his cloak and kill herself. No one touched the sorcerer's self-levitating cloak.


The creature the two poets were following had dashed out into the meadow, still chuckling, and they stumbled on, giving their complete strength. All their attention was so focused on Calmity that they never realized they were headed towards a mound and a plume of smoke.

The dryad-like creature abruptly vanished in the undergrowth, sinking into the ground, growing roots, as it were, and disappearing just beyond their sight.

"Lo! Where'd she go?"

The two stared around, looking all around as their eyes slowly focused on the gigantic dragon head suddenly before them, an old eye slowly opening and peering at them.


And Calmity? Well, it turns out she was the love of one of the countless bodies buried in the mound of the Old-Eyes Off-White Dragon and had been turned into a tree where she wept on the riverbank so horribly she had grown roots and long hair reaching towards the water's pull. There, stuck as a tree, the maiden waited to be free to return at long last to the place of burial with her love.

And now she had.