The Morning After

Chapter 32 of To Kill A Mockingbird

When I woke up the next morning, it was well past eight. I assumed Auntie was letting me sleep in after my eventful night, and I was glad of it. When I did manage to move myself out of bed, Calpurnia greeted me warmly.

"When I got here this mornin', and heard about last night from Mister Finch, I was worried out o' my head. Jem is up in his room, I got him porridge 'bout an hour ago. You want some, baby?" I nodded my consent, and she brought me out a big bowl.

After eating my porridge, I walked into the living room, and saw Atticus reading as usual.

"How's Jem doing? Is he awake yet?" I anxiously asked him.

"He was up a little while ago. I think he needs some time to himself to think; you can go see him at the next hour."

I agreed, and climbed into his lap. He looked down at me and smiled. "I didn't think young ladies were supposed to hide in their fathers' laps." He teased me, and I was glad he wasn't as distraught as the previous night.

"I'm not hiding," I answered him "I'm just leaning on you for support."

"Support?"

"Support. I had a rough night, you know." At this he sighed, and I instantly wished I had said nothing. But I wanted to share with Atticus what I had not previously understood. "After Mr. Arthur and I walked to his home last night, I stood on his porch for a while." At Atticus' nod of understanding, I continued: "As I stood there, I finally understood what you were trying to tell us all those months ago. I could sort of…" I broke off, searching for the right words, so that Atticus would understand what I was saying. "Sort of… see through his eyes? I could see him seeing Jem and me, and all that we had been doing these past years. Like a cloud burst, I suddenly understood why Mr. Arthur put that blanket on me when Miss Maudies' house burned down, and why he came out of his… safe haven last night. I do feel like a growned, young lady now." He looked at me for a moment, then turned and looked rather closely at the table lamp next to him. When he was done, he faced me, not unkindly. He nodded slowly and took his time replying.

"Yes," he agreed. "You certainly are growing up and becoming a young lady. As you continue to grow up, you'll see that things you thought you knew aren't quite as simple as you thought. After-"

"But it never was simple, was it? I just couldn't see it before." I interrupted him. Atticus looked at me for a moment before he smiled. He ruffled my hair and said to me,

"That's right. How would you like to help Calpurnia take care of Jem today? She has enough going on, and since you are becoming older, and wiser, I'm sure you'll be of a great help to her." I ran off to assist Calpurnia, after kissing Atticus, my good bye to him for the day.