Sorry it took so long to update! The end is near.
Marissa Cooper lay looking up at the canopy of her princess bed, in her bedroom, in a mansion. One big enough to be a castle. Fit for a princess. Ryan's letter was clenched tightly in her hand, the other nervously twitching her hair into curls.
If I don't let go it won't disappear. It'll be true. He still loves me.
She slowly uncurled her fingers, slowing releasing the piece of paper. As she lost the final point of contact she squeezed her eyes shut. She was too scared look, in case it had disappeared, it was just a dream, and Ryan was in love with Lindsay. She peered hesitantly through her lashes and the letter was still there. She nearly fainted with relief. She needed to call Summer. But first she needed to think. So she left her castle for her sanctuary.
Lindsay Gardener (A/N where the hell did she get her last name from?) walked along the beautiful beach that gave Newport its name. She was not happy. As she walked she kicked clumps of sand up, fuming. Furiously she remembered the conversation that had taken place only about half an hour ago with Caitlyn Cooper-Nichol.
Flashback
Lindsay walked up and knocked on the door. Caitlyn, who was home from boarding school, her mother deciding she didn't need to be away from Marissa's harmful influence anymore, answered the door. She looked Lindsay up and down.
"Yes?"
"Is Marissa home little girl?" Lindsay said with gooey sweetness.
"And you are?" Caitlyn replied disgusted. She didn't like people acting so condescending.
"I'm Lindsay"
"Lindsay?" Caitlyn said giving her a skeptical look.
"I don't think she mentioned a Lindsay dropping by,"
"Oh, yeah, she didn't know I was coming 'round,"
"Well that was a bit rude. Oh!"
"Sorry?"
"You're THAT Lindsay."
"Which Lindsay?"
"The one who stole Ryan,"
"Excuse me?"
"That was a really bitchy thing to do. They were going out and never broke up. I mean he was only gone for THREE MONTHS. Who does that? You, like, made him cheat on her, and Ryan Atwood does not cheat. I thought you'd at least be, like, prettier than my sister, but you're not. They were in love. Did you know that? The last thing she said to him was "I love you". They were like deeply, crazily in love. It was the real thing. When Marissa told me Ryan was back and they weren't back together I was like, "Whoa". And then she told me he was going out with someone else. And that was just weird. The only girl he's ever dated was my sister. So, I personally blame you for me being sent to boarding school, all the crappy stuff Marissa's had to go through and breaking up a perfect couple."
"Excuse me? Look little girl I don't know who's been talking to you, but-,"
"Whatever, save it. She's not home." said Caitlyn with a roll of her eyes, and slammed the door.
End Flashback
Lindsay muttered angrily as she stomped.
"How the hell can you assume someone loves you? It's pretty obvious if they say it! And he did say it. God, I hate him. He was OVER her. They moved on, and she's a freaking LESBIAN. She is such a bitch! Pretending to be his friend AND mine, when all she was doing was trying to get him back. And her stupid best friend, the freaking midget devil, yapping she could break me. He is such a liar. All he did was lie to me. All that time he was with me and he was in love with her. I could've been with someone who wouldn't leave me for some bisexual, anorexic alcoholic. She always has to be better than me. She's so self obsessed. Not like me. I actually care about Ryan! I mean, I was there when he cut his finger and had to get stitches. But he called her first. Loser. God, first she makes the Cohen's like her more than me THEN she steals my boyfriend! That little bit-"
Lindsay's angry ramblings came to an abrupt halt as she saw Marissa. She was turning into the old lifeguard station where she went to think, with Ryan's letter in her hand. Lindsay recognized the paper and all she could see was "Cosmo Girl" holding what was rightfully hers.
Lindsay walked into Marissa's sanctuary, where Marissa was sitting watching the waves against the overcast sky.
"Marissa, hey" she looked up and scrambled to her feet. The absent smile that had graced her features disappeared.
"Uh, hey Lindsay," Marissa said, ducking her head and turning back towards the window.
"Ah…?"
"I don't believe you! He still loves you, even though you didn't wait for him! When I first met Ryan, he was really nice to me, even though he spilt ice coffee all over me. And I was less than nice to him. And then he asked me out, and I met you. And I kept thinking, "Why is he going from her to me?" Then I found out you were with DJ. I wondered why you were with him. Everyone thinks you guys are soul mates, and then I figured out you were both on the rebound. Majorly. I mean, the look he had when I first asked him about you, well it was obvious he wasn't over you. But, I decided to just go for it. I thought, why should I just let him go? Maybe, I was the one for him, not you, and he'd fall in love with me." Lindsay spat out. Marissa bit her lit nervously and grabbed onto her letter.
Ryan must've broken up with her. And she blames me.
"But then everything was telling me I was the wrong person. God, one time Kirsten walked in on us kissing and you know what she said? She said your name. She said, "Oh, I'm sorry Ryan, Marissa, I have got to learn to knock," And you know what the worst thing was? She didn't even notice. I convinced myself that she only said that because she was used to you being Ryan's girlfriend. But it wasn't even when we first started going out. You know why she said it? Because the only person she can see her son spending his life with is you. The only person any of them see is you. They see you as part of the family. I mean, first you steal my family and now-"
"They don't only see me, don't be stupid. And I didn't steal them. Its just, well I've just always been there" Marissa said, blushing and weakly trying to make Lindsay feel better.
"That's not what I mean. They know you. Like, you say you want chocolate cake for your birthday, because you know everyone else will like it. And they get you pink, green and blue marble cake with cream and coffee icing because they know it's what you really want. Even though they think it tastes weird."
"How did you-"
"Know? Seth told me. He's the only one who tells me anything. About what happened before I came. And that's only because he can't keep his mouth shut. You're like the sister he never had, but wants to stick around, y'know? To them you are family. I think they see you more as part of the family than I'll ever be. I mean, you know what Kirsten got me for my birthday cake? This beautiful blue iced vanilla sponge cake. And I'm allergic to eggs AND vanilla,"
"Oh, Lindsay. Lindsay, it just takes time. It's just, like I said, I've always been around, and I went to pre school with Seth and," Marissa moved to give Lindsay a hug, or something to comfort her.
"It's not time Marissa. We both know that. I've been here, what two years now? And most of that has been awkward silences or nervous babbling. You just seem to get everything! You're popular. Beautiful! Smart!"
"None of those things matter unless you have someone who loves you and would love you even if you weren't all those things"
"And now you have that too." Lindsay said bitterly, "You're his princess. When I first met you I was so intimidated. And when I found out I was a Cohen-"
"A Nichol you mean,"
"Yeah, and I had Ryan and I had a family. And I thought, just for once, I'd be envied and bask in peoples awe. I thought for once, I'd have something you didn't." Marissa didn't know what to say. She couldn't do anything to make Lindsay feel better, because in a way, what she was saying was true. Marissa had had everything, but that didn't mean happiness. But now she was happy, she had him. And Lindsay didn't.
"But, you know what the funniest thing is? I've spent all this time being angry at you, and you know what? I've figured out it's taken me all this time to figure out I HATE YOU. Yes you, Marissa freaking Cooper. And you know what else? The only reason I'm really angry Ryan broke up with me is because it means you can have him. I don't really feel like I've lost anything. Because I never really had him. I get that now. You know what Charlie Brown says? "Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love". And Ryan hasn't been able to eat peanut butter in a while. So this is where I am now. Screaming at the most beautiful girl I've ever met that I hate her. And in truth the only reason I hate that Ryan dumped me is because it means you get him. Maybe I never did love him, but he never loved me and you're the reason." With that Lindsay turned and spat the last of her speech.
"Keep him where your heart is, princess," and walked out the door straight into Ryan.
