A/N: Yes, yes, I am finally writing this chapter. Don't be mad at me! I've just had a lot of schoolwork to do and not much time to do it. But I am finally updating! See? On a happier note, this chapter will also be a songfic. Sorry to all you reviewers who hate songfics, but I like them, so too bad. I know I do Avril Lavigne a lot, but her songs just fit so perfectly with what I want to write. So I will include her song, 'Forgotten' in this one. Yay! Okay, enjoy this next chapter! I hope it gets as much support as my last one. I got 16 whole reviews!! At least, I think it's 16. Anyway, I love you guys, you are so awesome! Reviews make me happy, and they make me want to update faster, though sometimes I can't. Anyway, hope you like this one! BTW, thoughts are in italics, as are songs. I hope that won't be too confusing. But I think you'll probably be able to tell the difference. Oh, and review responses are at the bottom. I love you all! Adios!
-CatJetRat
Chapter 5
Choosing Sides, Kind of
Harry's POV
Harry stared down at the toad, uncertain of what to do. 'He looks better this way,' Harry mused, studying Snape. Harry made to pick up the toad, but then it peed on him. Harry cursed, dropping the toad. It gave him a look that plainly stated, 'That's just the beginning of the punishment you're going to get.'
Harry sighed, cleaning his hand with the scourgify spell and scratching his head. What he would really like to do would be to conjure a terrararium and sell Snape as a pet. Unfortunately, this was not an option, considering the fact that for one he didn't know how to conjure things; Hermione probably did, but Harry didn't really feel like asking her for anything at the moment. Two, people would question Snape's disappearance, and also Harry doubted Snape would make a very pleasant pet. Feeling grumpy, Harry waved his wand, returning Snape to normal. He felt grateful to Professor McGonagall for her tutoring of him over the summer. He would have to thank her the next time he saw her.
Unwillingly, he looked up at Snape, who seemed furious. "You are so expelled, Potter," he snarled.
Harry knew perfectly well that Dumbledore wouldn't expel him, not now, when they were on the verge of war and Harry was destined to kill the Dark Lord. However, he didn't much appreciate being threatened. He briefly considered turning Snape into something nastier, like a cockroach, but decided against it. Instead....
Harry turned his wand upon himself and transfigured himself into a cat, clothes, wand and all. He had thought before that the only way to become an animal would be to become an animagus, but that Professor McGonagall had told him that really skilled wizards could transfigure themselves into animals, like Cedric Diggory did in the first task.
Harry knew would regret running away later, but right now, he was tired. He could deal with Snape later. Harry went streaking off through the Forbidden Forest towards the castle, with Snape cursing and shrieking behind him.
Soon he reached the castle and not long after the safety of Gryffindor Tower. Harry slinked into the room, peering around. It seemed to be empty, so he fully slipped inside the portrait hole. Unfortunately....
"Harry? Is that you?" Ron's voice drifted over from the couch, sounding slightly drunk.
God dammit, Ron! Harry thought angrily. Why are you still awake? You're supposed to be asleep! Oh, curses.... Harry considered just pretending to be a random black cat with green eyes, but...oh, no. He just had to show Ron his new transfiguration ability, didn't he? Now Ron was staring at him with unfocused eyes.
Maybe if I just stay still, he won't see me, maybe... no... Ron was now standing up, a slightly nervous smile on his face. "Hey, Harry, what's up?"
Sighing slightly, Harry transfigured himself back into a human. "Nothing, Ron, just getting back."
"Where did you go?"
Harry shrugged. "No where, I just...went for a walk." He didn't really feel like giving a full recount of what his night had been like; because he was already tired. Damn, he had come to the Gryffindor tower to get away from people. Grr.... Harry calmed himself down and looked more closely at Ron. Tousled hair, bloodshot eyes, dried tears on his face, alcohol on his breath; Hermione must have broken up with him again. However, Harry decided to play dumb. He walked over to the couch, and sat down. "What happened, mate?"
"She dumped me, Harry," Ron said miserably.
Harry gasped, sitting up. "What? Why didn't you tell me?" He wanted to laugh. Ron was totally buying his dumb act. Good thing he had taken theater in his muggle school.
Ron frowned. "I am telling you. Anyway, I guess I'm just still angry with her and the one she broke up with me for."
Harry glanced at Ron, slightly curious now. "She broke up with you for someone else? Who?" Maybe this time it was a real break-up.
Ron spoke, "It was.... Oh god, it makes me sick to even think about it. It was Pansy." (A/N: Hee hee, you all thought it was going to be Ginny! I decided to do something different. ;-)
"Parkinson?!" Harry exclaimed.
"Yeah, I know," said Ron, his lip curling slightly in disgust. Harry fancied for a second that Ron looked a little like a blonde Slytherin he had kissed only a few minutes before....
Harry snapped out of it, and, frowning at Ron, said, "But...I don't understand. You two looked so cozy when I walked in on y'all earlier tonight."
Ron doubled up with laughter. "Y-Y'all?" he gasped in between fits of mirth.
Harry turned deep red. "Fred and George..." he muttered, his face turned down, "They went to Texas when they were in the United States. They came back and taught me cuss words and some Texan slang."
"They taught me too, but you don't see me going around saying 'Y'all'," Ron responded, rolling his eyes and holding his stomach, trying to avoid more hysterics.
Harry sighed. "So tell me. What happened?"
"Oh," said Ron, sobering quickly. "That. Well, what happened was, Hermione was trying to break up with me, but she didn't want anyone else to hear, to avoid embarrassing me. So when we heard someone coming in, we ducked down behind the couch, hoping they'd just go away. When we saw it was you, and you were looking all depressed, we thought we would cheer you up. Guess that was a bad idea," he muttered, looking down and avoiding Harry's eyes.
Harry blushed again. "Yeah...sorry about that, it's just.... I got really tired of you two bringing it up. I tried to tell you, but you didn't seem to listen. I was...basically, whenever I began to forget about it, you and Hermione saw fit to bring it up again, and I just could not get over Sirius's death. It got to the point where I just didn't want to see either you or Hermione. I'm sorry," he finished.
"Yeah, I'm sorry too," Ron said. "I understood that you meant it when you said you wanted to be left alone, but I don't think Hermione really got it. You know, she's a girl, and all about 'talking about your feelings'. She just doesn't get that when guys have something bad happen, they need space, not women pressing in upon them and suffocate them. But I still should have said something, and told her to leave you alone. I guess I was kind of afraid of her," he said bashfully, and had the decency to look ashamed of himself.
Harry nodded. "No, its okay, I understand that Hermione can be a bit scary when she wants to be," he said, smirking. "Anyway, so she's gay?"
Ron frowned. "I don't know. I asked her, but she wouldn't give me a straight answer. I think she just might be bi."
I need to tell him, Harry thought. He has a right to know my sexuality. He's my best friend! Maybe not what I did tonight, and definitely not whom I did it with, but he should know the basic gist of it. Oh god, I hope he doesn't hate me.
"Um, Ron?" Harry said uncertainly.
"What is it, mate?" Ron asked innocently.
I can't do this. "Um, speaking of, uh, gay people, um, I, uh, think you should, um, know something," Harry said, inwardly wincing at all the uhs and ums in his sentence.
"Okay..." Ron said slowly. "What is it?"
"Ron, uh, I, um, I'm also...uh...gay."
Draco's POV, first person
I stomped away from the place where my father had Disapparated, feeling furious. I wasn't really furious with one thing in particular. I was just furious with everything. Furious with myself for saying yes to my father's ridiculous proposal. I was angry with Potter for making me like him, for making me kiss him. But most of all, I hated my father for forcing me into a situation where I would have to make that sort of decision. The one that had no good answer to it. And I'd chosen the worst one. Yes. 'Yes' my ass. I couldn't believe what I had done.
Why am I so weak? I asked myself. Why couldn't I have just been strong, stood up for what I believe to be right? Why was I a coward? Why can't I be stronger? But it's his fault, anyway.
And how is it his fault? I asked myself. Why am I blaming him for this? It's my own fault that I went and said yes.
You had to say yes, I argued with myself. If you didn't he would have killed you. Besides, he basically tortured you your whole life. What are you supposed to do? How are you supposed to stand up to him?
He never cared about what I wanted. He should have cared. He never thought of me. It was all about him, and his happiness. Always, I thought bitterly. Well, I can never have a relationship with Harry, like I want to. He'll never accept me as a death eater. And I can't become a Healer, or an Auror, like I wanted to. Wouldn't that be ironic? I thought with dry amusement. A death eater's son an Auror. But no, I can't do anything I want to because of that bastard.
(Song)
I'm giving up
On everything because you messed me up
Don't know how much you screwed it up
You never listen
That's just too bad
What the hell am I going to do? I could just forget about it and never worry about him. I could tell Dumbledore and probably get his protection. I just don't know what to do. My best bet would be to move on, and forget about Harry.
Because I'm moving on
I won't forget you were the one that was wrong
I know I need to step up and be strong
Don't patronize me
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Have you forgotten
Everything that I wanted?
Do you forget it now?
You never got it
Do you get it now?
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
All I want to do is escape. I want to run and keep running and never look back. I want to be able to date Harry and be a happy teenager. I don't want to have to worry about what some one's blood type is, or what their ancestry is, or anything like that. I probably would have liked all of the Gryffindors if I hadn't been raised to hate them. Why can't I just live my own life and not have to worry about all of this?
Gotta get away
There's no point in thinking about yesterday.
It's too late now
It won't ever be the same
We're so different now
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
I know I wanna run away.
I know I wanna run away.
Run away
If only I could run away
If only I could run away
Run away
I told you what I wanted
I told you what I wanted
What I wanted
But I was forgotten
I won't be forgotten
Never again
Have you forgotten
Everything that I wanted
Do you forget it now?
You've never got it
Do you get it now?
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
But, the problem was, no matter what I'd like to think, I knew that I couldn't resist my father. He was too powerful, and very...persuasive. I then began to head up to the Gryffindor Tower, determination in my eyes. I had strong feelings for Harry, I knew that much. They might have been undeveloped, but I could tell that they were there, and I knew that it could become much stronger if we both let them. However, I knew what I had to do, even if it broke my heart.
A/N: It just seems like my chapters keep getting shorter and shorter, don't they? Though, actually, this one is a bit longer. Maybe it just seems shorter to me because I took my beautiful time writing it. Ack, I have precious little free time to do anything, with all the classes I'm taking. Oh well, hope y'all aren't angry with me. Yes, I do say y'all. Now to the teaser! Here it is:
Teaser:
Harry's head snapped up as he heard approaching footsteps. It was Draco.
"Harry!" Draco gasped, finally catching up to the brunette.
"What do you want?" Harry asked him coldly, before standing up and beginning to walk away.
"I just wanted to talk to you," Draco said hastily, hurrying to catch up to Harry. And to say that I'm sorry," he said gently.
Harry stopped walking and turned to face Draco. Should I forgive him? He wondered. He then opened his mouth to reply, and said....
A/N: I'm so evil. I love being evil. Well, the teaser wouldn't be a teaser if it wasn't evil, now, would it? Okay, onto review responses! I love you all! Mwah! Mwah!
CindaSwan-Yay, I'm glad you like it! Have cookies, or cupcakes, or anything!
Princesspepper- Of course I dedicated it to you! You're my most faithful reviewer! Anyway, yeah, I know that it's almost always Snape who catches them, but I couldn't resist. And I kind of wanted to make Lucius seem evil in every way except for his views on gay people. I just couldn't bring myself to write about him dissing them, since I hear people doing that every day in my school.
Don't worry, there will definitely be slash scenes coming up between Draco and Harry. And Hermione didn't break up with Ron for Seamus! She didn't even break up with him for a guy, as you can see. What kind of slash writer would I be if I did that?
Oh, and yeah, it did really piss me off when my boyfriend dissed one of my friends and called him gay, even though he wasn't.
I talk a lot too, so don't worry about it. I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to update! I've just had a lot of stuff I needed to do. ï. Oh well, hope you like this chapter!
Have tons of sugary, baked goods!
zoomaphonethepirate- Hee hee, you also thought it was going to be Ginny. Lol. Don't worry, my story will have a happy ending, it just needs to get around to the happiness. Have cookies!
harrypotter,move over-Yes, you do have a great English accent. I'm glad you like my story, and as you can see, it is not Ginny.
Emmilie Oli- Yes, you are right! I've kept it up, hope you like. Have cupcakes!
RandomnessDotCom- Thanks for telling me, and yes it is Snape. Hope you like this chapter! Have cake!
Nyoka Li- I love evil teasers too! Don't worry, I will continue. I'm glad that you're adding me to your Author Alert list. Thanks! Have croissants!
musicgirl141- I'm glad you liked the Snape part and the makeup bit. Thanks for being my beta. Will you continue for the next and the rest of the chapters? Oh, and you're a great beta, and you do exactly what I need done on my stories. I give you lots of specially prepared goods to take home to family!
Dark-Rain991- Oooh, I'm glad you like it, but you won't find out what happens till next chapter. Hope that this one tides you over till then! Have éclairs!
Drag- Eeeeh, I'm glad that you like it! I'm so sorry it took me so long to update! Here it is, I hope you like it! Have pie!
Alora- I'm glad you like it, and I included in my A/N that the teaser wouldn't be in that chapter. Sorry if you were confused. Hermione left Ron for PANSY! YES! YAY! That makes me happy! Harry and Draco forever. Oh, and I used the line you gave in your review about Harry and Draco in this chapter, I hope that you don't mind. Have French Bread!
RosannaMalfoy-I'm glad you liked that chapter; hope that this one was just as good. Don't you just hate it when boys are unaccepting? I know I do. And yes, Hermione left Ron for a girl. I'm glad you like that cookies! This time you get ice cream! Yes!
shewolf- Lol, you spelled genius wrong! Hee hee hee. But thanks for thinking that it is good. Oh, and I thought that you were supposed to be on a diet, mom? Lol.
ava deisler- Hmm... I wonder who it could be? Lol. I'm glad you like my story, but you must finish reading it! I got rid of Forbidden Love because somebody told me it was bad. But if you really want to read it I'll print it out for you. And don't worry. There will be lots of details later in the fic. Have pudding!
guns'n'handcuffs- I'm glad you like my story. Oh and it's 'Azkaban'. Just so you know. Lol. ;-). Have strawberry shortcake!
Mac Black- Yeah, I know Snape is cliché, but I couldn't resist. Here's the update! Have fudge!
A/N: Wow, that's a lot of reviews! But they make me happy, so keep 'em coming! Oh, and for the millionth time to you all, DON'T WORRY! There will be slash, very detailed slash, and I will not abandon this story! Have a little faith in someone who promises not to leave. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and I'm exhausted. So please read and review. Adios!
-CatJetRat