One
day, Haruka and Michiru were walking along together. They were both
headed towards the sports club to race each other in the indoor pool
on the thirteenth floor. All of a sudden, an ice cream truck passed
by, ringing it's happy song.
Michiru:
Ice pops!
Haruka:
Ice pops!
They both looked at each
other excitedly.
Haruka &
Michiru: Ice pops!
They high fived
and jumped around. Suddenly, to their surprise, Michael Jackson
crawled out from under a rock and came over to them.
Michael
Jackson: Sing it, ladies!
Haruka:
Ice pops!
Michiru:
Ice pops!
Haruka
& Michiru: Whoo whoo icy!
Haruka
began dancing Michael Jackson style in the street, side by side with
the man himself. Michael grabbed his crotch and pointed into the sky,
yelling,
Michael Jackson: Ow!
Just
then, a little boy rode by on his bycicle. Michael Jackson's eyes lit
up, and he ran off after him, disappearing as quickly as he had come.
Haruka and Michiru payed no mind and continued their song and
dance.
Haruka: Whoo! Who's so
sexy!
Michiru:
Whoo! You're not sexy!
Haruka stopped
dancing.
Haruka: Hey... That's not
nice...
Michiru smacked Haruka in the
head.
Michiru: No, you idiot, I'm
singing!
Michiru started dancing like
Haruka just was. Haruka stood and thought. Suddenly, Setsuna's green
minivan came screeching down the street. It skid past them as they
looked on cluelessly and it crashed into a telephone pole just a few
feet away from Haruka.
Michiru: Woof
woof! Set's herre!
Stars
title music and title screen
Sailor
Moon Stars
Ice Pops! Ghetto Rap!
Cheerleading!
And Michael Jackson, Too!
The
driver side door fell off and Setsuna stepped out. She sexily walked
away from the vehicle in slow motion, flicking her hair back just as
the van exploded behind her. The loud boom seemed not to affect her
naughty expression or her sexy strut at all.
Setsuna:
Hey, how be muh fav lezboz?
Haruka
was about to say something, when the fire from the explosion
stretched to the left and engulfed her. Michiru and Setsuna watched
as the flaming Haruka ran around screaming and waving her arms in the
air.
Setsuna: Does she just not
care?
John:
Haha, very funny, Set. No.
Haruka
eventually fell down and the rest of her body burnt. Michiru looked
at Setsuna. Setsuna looked at Michiru.
Michiru:
Whoo! Who's so sexy!
Setsuna:
Whoo! We're so sexy!
Michiru stopped
singing.
Michiru: What the fuck do
you mean "we"?
Setsuna:
As in we, together are sexy.
Michiru:
No no no no no no! I am the only sexy one here!
Setsuna:
Tch! Says you!
Haruka peeled her face
off the sidewalk and got up.
Haruka:
Do I sense a competition?
Haruka
shook off the soot and stood next to Michiru, who was glaring at
Setsuna coldly. Setsuna returned the glare. Setsuna reached into her
pocket and pulled out Minako. Michiru and Haruka gasped.
Haruka:
How the hell!
Setsuna:
Ask not the questions that be not important!
Michiru:
What are ya, some kind of wierdo chinese proverb giver!
Haruka:
Yoda!
Setsuna and Minako broke out
into song and dance.
Setsuna &
Minako: Whoo! Who's not sexy? Whoo! You're not sexy!
The
both pointed at Haruka and Michiru, who's jaws were on the
ground.
Michiru: You... You stole our
beat!
Haruka crossed her
arms.
Haruka: Take it back, ho's.
She
slipped on her shades and tied back her du-rag.
Haruka:
Yo, muh name's Ruka G, y'all git et rite. Ya mess wit me, yo, ya
gonna start a fight!
Michiru sang in
the back ground in a very low voice.
Michiru:
Kickin' ass... Takin' names...
Haruka:
I'm gonna fuck you up, so, dude, ya betta SHUT UP!
Michiru:
Y'all watch out... Herre (s)he comes...
Haruka:
Yea!
Minako went over, randomly
waving her hand all over the place, mostly in Haruka and Michiru's
faces, saying,
Minako: Dayam, that
song was shit, yo!
Setsuna:
It be true, fuckah.
Haruka:
Yo, did I not just tells y'all ya betta not start nuttin?
Michiru:
She all gon' kick y'alls asses.
Haruka:
Hayl yea, git cuh!
Ruka G stepped
forth. Setsuna and Minako got into fighting poses.
Minako:
Bring it on!
Suddenly, all four girls
ripped off their clothes revealing cheerleader uniforms. Haruka and
Michiru had green and gold uniforms, while Setsuna and Minako had Red
and White.
Michiru: Like, you are so
totally going down!
Setsuna:
Face it, we're the poo. So take a big whif.
Haruka
scoffed.
Haruka: Oh yeah, well, like,
we'll see, like, soon enough!
Setsuna,
Minako: Brr! It's cold in here! There must be some Tauros in the
atmosphere!
Michiru:
Woah! Like, no way!
Haruka:
They like, totally stole out like... Routine!
Setsuna:
This is totally payback, you skanky superficial Bitch!
Michiru
glanced at Haruka. They both nodded. Michiru cupped her hands around
her mouth and leaned backward, yelling,
Michiru:
He-ey!
Haruka:
Ho-o!
Michiru:
He-ey!
Haruka:
Ho-o!
Michiru,
Hauka: Brr! It's cold in herre! There must be some Clovahs in the
atmosphere! I said, Brr! It's cold in herre! There must be some
Clovahs in the atmosphere!
Minako:
Like!
Setsuna covered Minako's
mouth.
Setsuna: Sure, you talk big,
but can you move big?
Haruka turned
to Michiru.
Haruka: Do you have any
gum?
Michiru:
Yes, but like I'd share it with you!
Minako:
Quit yackin' an' let's go!
The mega
mix of routine music blasted in the background. Setsuna lifted Minako
over her head and threw her up. Minako twirled in mid air, then
landed in a five point pose. Michiru spit her gum into her hand and
tossed it at Setsuna's forehead.
Michiru:
Like, take that, Bitch!
Haruka
picked Michiru up by the waist and spun her around, then pinned her
to the floor. The music screeched to a stop. Setsuna plucked the gum
off of her bangs while she and Minako stood and watched as Haruka ate
Michiru out.
Minako: Um...
Hello?
Setsuna:
EEWW! OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! THAT'S LIKE... SOOO NASTY!
Michiru:
"You are intitled to have super orgams"
They
all laughed like at the end of Scooby Doo and the fic ended and
everyone went back to their un-normal lives.
THE END
Usagi:
Wow! Was that REALLY Michael Jackson! I'm surprised he didn't molest
any of us hot chicks!
Haruka:
Odango, you weren't in this episode.
Usagi:
Exactally. That's why I didn't learn anything.
Setsuna:
Neither did I and I was IN the episode!
Minako:
Well, like, Usagi-chan NEVER learns anything anyway like, whether or
not she's in one.
Usagi:
Which brings up another question! Just why exactally WASN'T I in this
episode! I'm the STAR!
Michiru:
Because I'm so pretty and you'd clash with my beauty.
Setsuna:
Excuse me, I believe we already decided that I'M the
prettiest.
Haruka:
Michiru is a hot mammajamma! Or in other words... Beautyful!
Usagi:
Yes, she's beautiful... Beautifuller than Ami-chan.
Minako:
Like, ANYONE can be better looking than Ami-chan.
Usagi:
I know, but she's beautifuller!
Setsuna:
Please don't make up words. Everytime you make up a word an angel
loses his wings and plummets to a fiery death like the Explorer
shuttle.
Michiru:
I agree with Haruka. I am hot!
Minako:
No, no, no. I disagree.
Setsuna:
So do I!
(All four girls argue behind
Usagi as she ends the show)
Usagi:
Well, I still think I'm the hottest. Sailor Moon says!
