A/N: I don't own DBZ and I don't pretend to. This story is AU… So that gives me free range on how they behave. Be warned spelling and grammar mistakes will be found. ALWAYS! Warning, this is a Yaoi male/male coupling, also swearing the list goes on. If you don't like don't read, no-one is making you. Rated R.
"A Saiyanjin Lullaby"
Chapter 11
In one of the many back streets, under the faint yellow glow of streetlight; just outside a banded warehouse, two teenagers ran as fast as the could only to come to skidding halt along a cracked footpath.
Gohan's bare chest was heaving hard as he fell back against the high wire fence breathing coming in short heavy breaths. His eyelids squeezed tight trying to recover from the long chase. You could easily say he felt like shit now.
His tall blonde friend pulled up fast and turned around, angry and annoyed. "Hey man, are you alright?" Sharpener asked.
"I feel sick. I think I'm going to hurl." Gohan explained, as he was now looking a shade paler and leaning back hard against the fence he forced his aching head up, lifting his weary eyes to meet his friend now walking over to him. A thin line of sweat was trailing its way down Sharpener concerned face.
Before Sharpener could reach him Gohan turned his back and began to hurl. "Shit man!" The blonde teen called raking his figures through his silk hair. "Hey man… are you going to be okay?"
With his fingers threaded through the wire for support and his eyes squeezed closed, Gohan tried to wave his friends concerns off. "Sharpener… I…I'll be okay. Quit worrying about me."
"Shit Gohan… Those… those fucking ASSHOLES!" Lost in frustration and temper Sharpener reached for his friend reliving the last couple of frantic moments in his head.
(Moments before)
When Derrick took Matt back around the shops they came across Matt's big brother and a few of his loud mouth buddies. They told them what had happened. Filled with vengeance for his little brother's broken ribs they went on the hunt, to find the kid that had did this.
Kurt was much taller than his little brother, Matt. Kurt towered a proud 6'1". His dark brown eyes where hard and angry. Kurt had wavy shoulder length hair; a dark chestnut in colour. His twenty one year old body was muscly. It was taut across his light-haired chest, massive biceps and he wore a proud six pack belly achieved from his long work-outs in the gym with his friends. He loved to boast.
Everyone around these parts knew you don't get on his wrong side. When Kurt's group of friends spotted Gohan and the tall blonde up ahead, crossing the road from the shops car park, they all sprung across the road from behind them dodging the traffic and eyes seeing red, itching for a fight.
Both Gohan and Sharpener spun around in unison before their feet could even meet the curb they were in the thick of it. Fists went flying, curses bellowed, tempers flared. They were fighting against two or more foe at a time. The small grocery bag went hurling forgotten from Sharpener hands scattering stuff over the road.
Gohan kept his ki hidden and bond blocked as he took on Kurt. He was seeing double from the recent blow to the head the second in just one day. Gohan could feel his body draining fast he felt weak- tired with the pregnancy draining him from what ki he had. He landed the first punch knocking Kurt back; even though his vision swayed in and out of focus.
The demi-Saiyan was already fighting another guy; Kurt shook his head and snarled as he clutched his jaw and climbed back up to his feet ready to kill the little shit. Gohan's powerful blow was no more, stronger than a healthy human male punches. Gohan knew it too. He could feel himself growing weaker by the minute. He knew he still had the upper hand though but it scared him one punch to the stomach and that was all it would take to lose the baby with his ki so low.
Sharpener sent his fist flying into another guy sending him back and down onto the asphalt. At the same time another guy rammed his fist knocking the air from his lungs with a hard punch to the gut. Sharpener doubled over. Tempers flared and now genuinely pissed off Sharpener lunched himself into the guy. The fight continued for a little while longer. It didn't look like anyone was willing to quit at all until Kurt and the others heard the familiar wail of sirens, two cop cars that had been alerted sped towards them.
With the sound of the sirens, Kurt and his friends fled down the road, across to the alley behind the shops running sprinting at full speed until they ran down another back street. Tempers flared. Sharpener was on their heels seeing red. He skidded into the alleyway. He could hear the cops' sirens from behind them calling for them to stop. His turned to see a cop dive out of his moving car as his partner drives trying to grab his friend. "Fuck!"
Gohan dodged the man trying to trip him up forcing him to the wall of the building. He was quick to leap over some rubbish bins. "Run!" He yelled to Sharpener who had stopped not wanting to leave his friend behind. "RUN!"
"STOP NOW!" The cop yelled over the wailing of sirens as the swirling colours of red and blue lights flashing in the night air. The young demi Saiyan wasted no time he ran the fastest that he could considering the loss of energy. Both friends ran tripping jumping over anything in their path dodging people that happened to be in their way; the low life that were now mingling – congregating out in the night air.
(Back to the present)
Gohan argued-tired, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. There was nothing left to hurl as he collapsed back on the mesh fence. His body slid down the wire onto the cold concrete with his head hanging low and eyes shut tight and legs bent. His friend knelt next to him. "Oh man… you look like shit Gohan….FUCKING bastard! When, I…I get my hands on them!"
"Cool it Sharpener. I'm sure we haven't seen the last of them."
"Hey man. Do think you can walk?"
"Give me a minute…" I feel like I have been sparring for hours with dad and Geta… Shit dad, Geta! Gohan sprang to his feet only to stumble back and nearly fall. Sharpener caught him.
"Woooah…wooah! Here man. I think I should carry you."
"Don't be silly! I can walk. I'm not a baby." Gohan scowled. He was feeling embarrassed. The demi Saiyan pushed his friend away only to have the world spin sending back flat onto his butt.
Sharpener shook his head at his stubborn friend. "Yeah… it looks it." He reached down and grabbed a hold of his friend's arm pulling him back up. "Here… just shut up and let me help you."
"I'm too tired to argue with you." Gohan leaned into his friend, annoyed, frustrated, and angry. He could see no quick answers about Matt or his brother Kurt. Gohan knew school was going to be unbearable and he didn't want to have to whine to Geta about it neither. He didn't want to come across weak in front of his handsome Saiyan prince. They were just humans right? His mother's race… So how can a demi Saiyan complain that he is being bullied by couple of ningen teenagers? How embarrassing and humiliating. What would his prince say? Scary, still what would he do if he heard of this?
Sharpener's lips curled into a satisfying smile. "Good… I'll take you back." Gohan just nodded lost in thought. His vision was swimming and he was too tired to care. Taking most of his friend's weight, the tall blonde held Gohan close letting him lean into him. They were just about to head off when they both looked up to see two police cars with lights flashing pull up, blocking their exit. Both boys stopped dead as the cops approached with weapons drawn.
"Fuck!"
"What's taking the boy so damn long?" Vegeta was pacing outside near his car ready to go. Goku was leaning against the car door with his arms folded watching the prince. Every now and then he looked up into the stars and did quick scan, searching for his son ki himself. He was a little concerned as well. Gohan said he wouldn't be long and yet it has being nearly hour. The uneasy silence was just then broken when Vegeta's cell rang startling them both.
"Woman?" Vegeta listened. His midnight eyes enlarged with every word his ex was saying. "…WHAT!"
In the short chaotic time from receiving the call the black Mercedes screeched to a stop out the front of the police station. The sound of two car doors slamming closed echoed off the night street.
"I can't believe this! Gohan wouldn't have done anything of the sorts." Goku thought out loud
Vegeta wasn't listening. His eyes where firmly fix and focused on the two glass doors up ahead as he stormed towards the station. Goku was right at his side matching his pace as they both sprinted up the few stairs. Both glass doors were pushed forwarded as both warriors stormed into the crowded foyer.
"WHERE IS HE?" came the demand. Everyone stopped what they where doing and turned to the two well-built men at the door with an expression of fury set on their determined faces.
In a matter of minutes the two warriors were led to a room down the hall that was occupied by one Bulma Briefs and two others. She had quickly showed up with her astute lawyer, Tyler Anderson. A tall willow of man in his late thirties with short strawberry blonde hair; he knew his job well.
Bulma was informed of the young demi Saiyanjin's predicament after receiving a call from the officer in charge. Gohan had given up her number, too afraid to speak to his lover, Vegeta. Now at the station the famous billionaire, and president of CC, Bulma Briefs, was talking fast to an exhausted and flustered detective who was in charge of Gohan and Sharpener's case.
The two Saiyanjins entered after the officer that had showed them the room introduced them to detective James Rogers before leaving. The detective eyed them both. "Take a seat."
"We'll stand." Vegeta spoke for the both of them. Goku stood at his side as they listened and studied in their warrior manner; taking in their surroundings, sights and sounds with their sharp minds. Their eyes met with Bulma who sent a quick unseen single to the two warriors to say nothing and be still.
Both had known Bulma long enough to let her run the show. Her natural warrior sprit, a strong girl's temper; maybe a bitch some would say but whatever it took. It could strike a Saiyan's strength down with just intense tongue lashing. They knew when to step to the side on her turf; her special talent was in play.
The two Saiyans knew Bulma could get the boy out of the police station in half the time or effort than if they tried it by force. This was Bulma's show and she knew how to handle this type of politics; this human law. It was a law that the Saiyans had no interest in learning.
Rogers was very well built with sandy coloured hair and a single man. He stood an imposing 6'2" tall. This didn't go unnoticed by the wealthy Bulma Briefs who had just finished talking to him. "Thank you detective Rogers, I'd be every grateful." Bulma made sure to batter her angelic eyelids. It was well noticed and admired as a light shade of red spread over the officer's youthful face.
"No, thank you Ms Briefs…"
"Call me Bulma. Ms Briefs is too formal."
The man smiled warmly into her striking blue eyes. "Bulma then …Umm …well as I was saying I hate to see this get out of hand. I mean now Gohan has a record against him with this regretful indecent. It doesn't help with the fact that he was one of the last people to see Edwards…" Roger made point to look up to meet with Vegeta's eyes as he said that for any sign of something he should know. Seeing none he continued. "…It won't be good for him to repeat tonight's little incident. I would hate to see him back here. He seems like a good kid. "
Hearing that monster's name (Edwards) Vegeta's body tensed but remained unnoticed, covered by his warrior mask. Goku with his own mask in place could feel the spike in ki from the prince before it was blocked. He could tell Vegeta was enraged. He was holding back his temper as he stood there in his powerful stance. Goku could sense all of this and so could one other far in the bowels of the building, hidden away in a small room; empty of nearly any kind of colour or fixture; just a square table and two chairs on either side.
On one side sat a very nervous and anxious teen, Gohan, whose leg tremble uncontrollably under the table. His smooth torso; naked pulled tight stretched- from stress anxiety; screaming out his hatred at being there. Both his wrist were cuffed. One hand was rubbing his faded blue jeans wiping away the sweat that was surfacing in his palm. His insecure eyes remained lowered not wanting any eye contact. Earlier Gohan had gotten into a very heated argument after they had dragged Sharpener away into another room separating the two. A nurse was sent to check on Gohan. A blood trail, from his fight with Matt, had snaked a path down his face and neck mingling in his hair.
Kurt gave him a split bottom lip and blue/black bruise on his right check bone, but none of that hurt that much. He had known worse. This was child's play for the demi Saiyan. Abrasions were nothing more than a human child getting a splinter scraping a knee as far as his Saiyan heritage went for the young demi. But in the eyes of a human it looked pretty nasty and painful.
He refused treatment scared that they might find something he wasn't willing to share, like his pregnancy. He was shaking with all his fears that his imagination could provide of them finding out, being caught. The freak they would call him. But this wasn't what scared him. His mind played with the torment thought of being ripped away from his lover and his cub, their Saiyan baby.
A life of harsh abandonment and desertion was played over and over in his tired mind by a loss of confidence. The night was wearing thin and the day had been a rollercoaster of rides of high emotion and abuse, one after another. He was tired. His eyes were red, puffy and sore. They stung from his tears. He wanted his lover's arms wrapped securely around him. Gohan wanted those tender loving lips to melt with his own. Pressing the warmth of his youthfully loving self into his lover's powerful curves, a safe haven of impressive muscle, a fine sculpture of a well-built male; a Saiyan. Desperate to hear those soft sensual words, a sweet breath that Vegeta alone could, and would whisper to him from the nape of his tender neck; to have his lover nip his sensitive earlobe. The unprecedented loving he would receive from his man his lover would take the hurt and pain away. He yearned, craved him but also scared of loosening him like so many others that had abandonment him in the past. The pain was always there pulling and ripping into his gentle, insure heart. He didn't believe he could take another loss not now not ever. Hell knows how long he had been crying and tormenting his soul over all the 'what ifs'.
He knew he should grow up and be man, a Saiyan, to be strong and get over it. But something so deep, so dark, so very painful could never leave him completely no matter how hard he tried and how hard he prayed for it to go away to allow him to grow. His childhood trauma was like no-other, hidden memory secrets untold plagued his young mind and haunted his soul.
Too scared to talk to the love of his life, Gohan had asked that they ring Bulma's number and no other. They knew he was under the care of Ms Briefs and it wasn't long before the lady herself turned up but he was not yet allowed to see her. Gohan was trying to keep his calm with this interview with a middle aged social work named June Stevens.
June looked like she has seen it all and heard it all. The deep lines on her round face were proof of this. Her short light brown hair that framed her face her hazel grey eyes that look genuinely caring, her manner softened her posture. A caring soul, but with all her talent she still wasn't able to get the teen to open up and speak.
From her appearance Gohan knew that there was nothing threatening about this lady. But he knew she had the power to take him away, this is what scared him into silence most of all. He knew Vegeta was going to go off his tree when he saw him and he could fell his prince's ki spiking before it was blocked. He felt it was filled with anger. In his tired mind he played the same desperate song over and over again chant a plea for forgiveness … I'm so... so… so sorry. Please forgive me. I love you so… so very much…
It wasn't long before June and Rogers were out the door talking quietly. They were both concerned. It seemed both boys were keeping tight lipped about who the other kids were that were involved in the fight. Gohan nervously closed his eyes and stretched out his senses, scanning for his lover again, only to come up empty. Both Saiyan warriors were masking their feelings. This made Gohan even more nervous to open up his side of the bond.
He wasn't sure what to expect. Maybe Vegeta would just yell at him tell him how disappointed he was that he had got himself into trouble yet again. Gohan could even handle hours of intense training in the gravity room with his enraged partner it would be better than not being loved. He didn't know what to think. How Vegeta would react. He was too confused to know for sure. This one day had drained them both emotionally. From what he could tell in that brief moment from Vegeta's ki, his prince wasn't taking the whole situation at all well.
Gohan opened his eyes and looked up over at the door to the social worker and the detective. He wasn't listening to them. He could if he wanted to with his sensitive Saiyan hearing but his mind was too anxious.
Next thing Gohan knew he was being led, cuffed back upstairs to the front. His eyes were fixed, lowered to the floor ashamed. Roger's taller form was next to him, holding his elbow and leading him through the mixed crowd of officers and people of all sizes and colour.
"I hope you are aware of how lucky you are Gohan. Ms Brief could get into lot trouble if you put a foot out of place again."
"Yes sir."
"Good, because you look like a good kid, you're a lot more intelligent than most here. I know it has been tough for you the last few hours here and you're tired. But I hope you understand when I say I don't want have to see your face back here again. With Edwards missing the way he disappeared and you being one of the last persons to see him… it's not good." Rogers looked down at the kid in his hold. "I understand Bulma is trying to protect you with your loss. Losing both your parents in such tragic circumstance, but if you have any information at all that could help us out. If he has touched you in anyway I want to know."
Gohan was sorry he felt that maybe it was his fault in someway, what with Edwards losing his life like he did in his grasp. He wanted to at least say sorry or bring the body back for the family to bury but Vegeta had already had gone back and disposed of Edwards. What do you say but maybe sorry it happened at all. He felt for the family and especially for Edward's kids. Roger had pulled up in the busy hall to talk to a lady in uniform for a minute before continuing on with Gohan in tow. He lifting his eyes slightly looks at the man. "Sir…"
Roger turned curiously to the teen next to him. The boy looked unsure and so out of place in the walls of the cop shop. "Yes Gohan."
"Edwards had kids didn't he?"
"Yes, two… Timothy 5yrs and Sammy 3yrs. Why?" He asked curiously.
"I…I just feel… r-real sorry for them. I…I remember when my dad died. I …cri…cried for days. It felt like a piece of me was sliced and ripped away. I…I was… so empty inside and nothing could fill that gap not even my best friends… not… not even umm… never mind. I just feel sorry for them…that's all."
Roger eyes locked at Gohan's a small smile curled over his lips. "That's really nice Gohan I'm sure the boys would be pleased that someone cares and understands their loss. But I'm curious Gohan; why do you think Edwards is dead?"
The detective thought he saw something flash in the teen's eyes for just second. But Gohan was quick to cover it with a poker face. "I…I was just using my father's death as metaphor of my understanding of their pain."
Gohan kept eye contact with the man who just smiled and nodded. "Very well. Come on. They will be waiting." The teen was pleased that Roger let the matter drop as the detective pushed open a door and motioned for him to continue through.
Roger went over to talk to another officer while Gohan stood there still cuffed waiting to be told what to do. Opposite him, on the other side of the desk, he could see Bulma talking to some guy who he knew as her lawyer, Mr Anderson. She stopped when Tyler whispered something to her she turned to see him. Her concern shone from her eyes. "Aw Honey!"
The teen eyes shifted to front of him with the approach of a large police officer, not so friendly, pushing passed with another teenager who was cuffed and was cursing out-loud. Gohan was distracted for just a second watching them pass him before turned back and was startled. A soft gasp left his parted lips when he saw his lover standing right in front of him. Piercing eyes midnight ink that could capture and hold you prisoner by their dark depths. Eyes that held and absorbed in his young battered appearance. Gohan felt a chill of uncertainty with the man he loved more than life itself.
The intense stare, the powerful hold his lover had over him kept him captive unmoving. He could feel Vegeta tugging at their bond trying to break it down, trying to bleed some information and understanding from him. Gohan wanted to turn away and run. It was heartbreaking to see his lover look at him like that. It was hard not knowing and he was too scared to ask. Have I lost your respect? How much do you hate me? Do you still love me at all babe? Solemn swells of black young pearls threatened to spill out all of this words more heart ache tears at any moment. Threatening to turn him to the insecure little boy he once was and still feels. The child that resides inside of him to this very day; it was threatening to surface and make a spectacle of him, showing him up in front of strangers.
Gohan sooo badly wanted to be in those powerful protective arms that were showing no signs of comfort for him as they resided at his lover's sides. Vegeta's unmoving - unchanged stance show no sign of comfort at all. It cut, it hurt. This was pain worse than having the air knocked out of you of any battle that he had been in. A knife through the heart; a single tear drop a, single silver pearl escaped onto a bruised cheekbone as Gohan locked into the vortex of midnight mass the captive darkness, his prince's eyes.
Longing and yearning the desperate plea, the dying call with every inch of his lover his heart his soul. Breaking the painful heartbreaking lock Roger tapped Gohan's shoulder stopping the painfully trance.
Roger took note of Vegeta's hold over the boy as he felt Gohan trembling slightly under his hand. Liking the kid, and unsure of Gohan's relationship with the man simply named Vegeta, the man Roger's knew as Bulma Brief's ex. An uncle image he thought it to be. But this man called Vegeta seemed to have a strong and enormous hold over the boy. Was it threatening, or was it good?
Washing it a side for the moment he looked down at the boy. "Everything is set. You are allowed to leave. If you remember any of their names you call me." Gohan just nodded he had lost his voice. It was trapped behind a painful lump in his the back of his throat.
Roger felt for the kid. He didn't know why. He smiled softly trying to send a calming note looking at the boy, who looked like his heart was ripping. "Just keep out of trouble. I don't want to see your face here again! Got it!" Gohan nodded again. Roger patted his shoulder and locked eyes with Vegeta. "He's a good kid. He just needs to feel loved." He said this as he un-cuffed the boy's wrists.
The prince said nothing. His expression remained unchanged making it very hard for the detective to work him out. Gohan was still facing Rogers with back turned to his lover keeping his eyes lowered not knowing what say. Detective Rogers patted his shoulder again with slight smile before looking over at Bulma who simply nodded her thanks. He returned the gesture as he left them. "Stay out of trouble… K."
"Yes sire." Gohan watched the doors close behind Rogers and felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around with the hopefulness and the deep yearning to be loved only to have it dashed as his father had taken his lovers place. Confused and hurt he looked around his father to see Vegeta walk outside into the night air. Goku put his arm around his son's shoulders and led him outside and down the stairs.
Bulma was not far behind them as they all walked down the path with Vegeta ahead heading towards the car. Bulma rushed up and draped her long slender arms around the teens bringing him out from his father's protective arms. She smiled sweetly at the boy she had known nearly all of his life. "Sweetie everything will be alright...you'll see. He …he just needs time okay. He's hurting too just like you are. He loves you so sooo very much, it hurts …remember that, Okay? It's just… well… you scare him."
All sound left void of everything of his surroundings stunned and shocked, Gohan's eyes widened as he looked over at his lover approaching the car with his out stretched hand pressing the remote to unlock the car doors. As the lights flashed he watched as Vegeta walked around to the driver's side. Gohan's words came in a whisper a tiny breath, confusing. "I…I s-scare him…me?"
To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I was lost for words. I remember the trip home was in complete silence. Though a million and one words where flooding into my head but they never left my lips. I was so lost, so confused that I couldn't see how it could be true. How could he be scared of me? I mean was he just so upset with me because I lost a fight or got caught. I know I have fought tough foes in the past; way tougher. Or was he just so disappointed in me? I can understand that if that was the reason. My mind would accept that more easily. I have disappointed people in the past…
Maybe I was not cut out for this type lifestyle. Why did I have to be born into it? I have often thought everyone's life would have been much smoother without me; much less heartache. I don't mean to come off all negative but I can't help thinking this. I don't know … maybe I'm just too lost in my thoughts and feeling down to think of anything positive at the moment. I mean all I want is for Vegeta to LOVE ME. Oh great its Vegeta is not even Geta anymore! My mind's a mess… Have I lost him forever? Have I disappointed him so much in the past?
Ahhhh my head hurts … I really at lost I wish he would just look at me and in the same light as before. I'm really screwed up BAD! What can I say more than that; I'm SORRY… K. I messed up … again.
As I remember it we drove back to Capsule Corp in the early hours of the morning surrounded by darkness. Nothing was said. Dad was with me in the back seat. I remember dad putting his arms around me and telling me everything will be fine. And every now then I would glance up at the rear-vision mirror to see my lover with his iron mask on. He never once looked back at me nor did he ever say a single word. I know he knew I was staring at him. It crushed me it made tears spill and I broke down in quiet sobs. My hands would wipe them from my face. As fast as they came I removed them trying to hide my pain, my hurt. My father's loving arms wrapped around me and brought back in deep embrace pulling me into his shoulder trying to comfort me when I couldn't feel anything. I sobbed quietly my shoulders shook I muffled my pain and bit my lip trying to stop the tears from swelling in my tired eyes and spilling. I was feeling so cold. I felt so heavy and empty inside, numb of any warmth, void of love…
Vegeta was in a hurry to get out of the same space as me. I could feel it, he HATED me. I must have cried myself to sleep up against my dad's shoulder from all my heartache; because the next thing I knew I was in a room set aside for us at CC, but I was all alone. No one to curl up against, no warmth to cuddle into; I just lay there curled up on my side looking at the empty space next to me. I cried again quietly until the morning sunlight shone itself through the thin curtains, trying to lighten my anguish, my heart. My mind was weighing heavy with the many unanswered questions. I felt weak; so drained so scared… I was so, so messed UP! And I didn't mean to snap at Bulma like I did that morning. It was wrong of me. She did nothing; she only wanted to help. I was just … just so tired I didn't want anyone to see me like this. I wish they just let me die in my sorrow…alone!
It was wrong what I said to her but I … I just lost it. There on the spot. I didn't want anyone to look at me, see me this way and take pity on me. They all knew about Edwards and me those photos KAMI they found more photos of me and even a VIDEO! DAMN HIM… HE FRICKEN VIDEOD IT!…all of it! Detective Rogers called a few days later when they found where he hid all his stuff. Dad, Bulma, and even Vegeta all went down to the station to see this new piece of evidence. I was there too with June the social worker. He had two tapes of me, one for each visit. Lucky for Vegeta, Edwards must have killed it when he walked into the office during that second visit. Lucky for him but not for ME! Now they all know!
It was another quiet trip back to CC Bulma kept glancing at me from the front seat with a look of pity I'm sure of it. And Vegeta took it out on the traffic I could see his jaw clenched tight and the way he gripped onto the steering wheel we were lucky it didn't snap off. Bulma would glance over at him every now and then worried. And then you had dad in the back seat with me he was awful quiet. He didn't look at me once the whole trip home he just stared out the window. Kami things just went from bad to WORSE!
I just ran upstairs and slammed the door closed, refusing to speak to anyone. They knew everything, there was nothing to hide. They knew all of my mistakes or my misjudgements. I was so ashamed and I didn't know how to make the shame, the pain go away. HELL what do I say? What do I DO! Oh please someone just take the pain away. HELP ME! PLEASE I don't want this type of hurt it's a slow death. It's torture and it's killing me…
I …I just couldn't survive if they all stop loving me. Kami HELP ME! I wanted to scream it wasn't my FAULT!
Here I am, a little over a month later, and I'm still getting those looks that blasted look from him. What is it I see in him? Is it disappointment? What is IT! If only he would just tell ME!... YELL AT ME!
Kami – knows I would be gratefully if he would just yell at me! He doesn't even talk to me if he can get away with it. The most I'll get is pass the butter or I'm going out! It is so sad I would hold onto even those words in the morning. The simplest of things would hold my heart up at least he was talking to me right…RIGHT!
I have being so miserable. It has been weeks of receiving nothing but the cold shoulder from him. I have opened up my side of the bond we share but he has his mental shield up preventing me in. Maybe I have no right to it. I have sent my love, my yearning, and my fears to him but nothing. He locks his heart away from me. I have no right to it I suppose.
From every minute of every hour of every day for the last few weeks I have being so depressed and broken hearted, rejected and frantically trying to get him to look at me but to no avail. After all this I'm numb to any type of love I have used up or my tears on him and I can honestly say now I just want to scream at him. Send a Kamehameha wave at him. Maybe he'll notice me then he might say something other than the unemotional stuff I have being getting over the last few weeks. I have learnt my lesson, if that what he was after. I have learned it WELL! I got IT! …ALRIGHT!… YOU HATE ME!
Well so WHAT! I stuffed UP! I make mistakes show me someone who DOSEN'T! My heart has gotten harder over these past weeks. Huh you know what? It's been weeks since we had any type of love; any type of sex. The way we are I wasn't expecting any but it is serious when it comes to my guy's active hormones being put on hold. I mean… I know I'm in the dog house when that happens.
The first two weeks he wouldn't sleep with me and then on the third he went back home to our place. So what! Who cares if he wants to act like this? I don't need to look into his disapproving eyes or hear what ever it is he's thinking of me. Bulma had pulled me aside a few times since then saying just give him time…he needs space…he's hurting. HUH space, time how long does he need? The way our relationship is breaking down an eternity won't be enough.
Bulma has been really great. She the best you know. I couldn't have survived these weeks without her understanding, her patience, and her love. She has been really good to me she could feel my pain; even when I put on my false smile for my little bro she could see right through it every time. You can't fool her.
And, as for my dad, in the beginning he was quiet and would go off sparring or seeing his friends and coming back late at night. Whenever he would bump into me or see me he would smile but I felt it was forced. Bulma pulled him aside one day too when she saw how uncomfortable we were together. I know I was quick to leave his side and went to my room where I spent most of my time those days at CC.
Since then, whatever she said, he has been really great. We still don't say much but we hang out a lot more; HEAPS more. He seems to go out of his way to cheer me up. Dad has taken me out to see Krillin a few times, just to get away from everything.
Funny thing, when I asked him not to say anything about the baby to any of the others Z warriors on our visits he didn't put up much of fight about it. I though he would be itching to tell someone. Maybe he is and I just can't see it.
These last few days I have found enough courage to go back to my home in the forest; I should say Vegeta's and my home. I must admit I was nervous. I didn't know if I should go back or not. I mean it's my place but it was Vegeta's first. I didn't know if I had the right to be there. Anyway Dad stayed over the first few nights comfort me. I found myself sleeping in the spare room with him just feeling safe knowing he was there. Dad always made me feel better; never a bad word … Huh he had plenty to say about Vegeta, I'm sure of it, but he kept it to himself. I could feel him tense up a few times when I mentioned our prince's name.
No dad's great. I'm so lucky he's back with us. The other day, when I was over at CC, I grabbed my little bro as he raced passed me and gave him giant bear hug and thanked him. He just giggled with his cheesy grin. He was just pleased that I was happy. Huh happy! Yeah I would be ecstatic if it wasn't for Vegeta, my lover. He is the only one that seems to able to hold a grudges; the only one that I need forgiveness from. I don't know why it's so important but Kami knows I need his loving.
Dad took Goten and me out for tea last night. We grabbed a few burgers; it was great. Later we went to see something at the flicks. Just us three… you know. It was so very cool. He gets on really well with Goten; like he should. They are two peas in pod those two. Huh I love being with them. My little family how I love them so very much. But no matter how much I force this smile to appear on my face, to laugh at their corny jokes, I'm still hurting inside it never leaves me.
I do a hundred things to keep out of my partner's way. I don't need those looks I get. Like I said I was hurting, frightened for the first week but then it continued on to the second, I tried to get close to Vegeta to talk to him, you know, say 'I'm sorry'. But he would turn his back on me and that hurt the most. That was more powerful than anyone punch he could give me. Vegeta would simply cover his beautiful face with that iron mask of his and walk away without a single word, not one WORD!
I was dying here what did he want from me? I have never been this crazy for his undivided attention, EVER. I have never had to do any type of begging before. Not once, I had his full attention ever since he declared how he loved me. It's like I need his approval to survive you know. He was what kept me breathing as such. But now it's been like over a month and I have grown tried of trying to analyse him, begging, pleading for his attention. If this is how he wants to act then two can play at this game.
I don't need him! Humph… I have my friends. I have my dad, my little brother and Bulma who is like a mother to me. I love her heaps and Trunks, well he is definitely like a brother on a constant sugar drive. I tell you he gets up to so much and his little shadow, my little brother Goten, is always at his side and ever faithful. They are really sweet guys when they don't play any dirty tricks on you.
Well school has been a real Achilles' heel. The whispers never stop. It seems there is always someone out there that wants to tease me or ask me about Edwards. How was it lover boy? I can't help but glare at them and try to walk away if I can. Though, I have found myself up in the office a few times seeing the deputy principle, Miss Alice. Usually I just have to stay back after class as part of my punishment. No-one needs to know. I just make up excuses as to why I was late if I was going to meet up with my dad in town or anyone else. Hell I know Vegeta won't ask.
Sharpener went of his tree a few times after the second week; told them all to push off. Hehehe.. He has more guts than I thought. He stuck up for me and as for Matt well he keeps away from me though sometimes I hear profane words coming from his loud mouth friends.
But his brother, Kurt, well there is different story. He is out to get me. I'm on the top of his hit list. He's got it in for me that I am for sure. Sometimes they will follow me outside school. And if for some reason I decide to catch the bus back to CC they are usually hanging around in their packs at the bus stop or even follow me onto the bus. What losers…But Kurt hasn't approached me or said word. I know his just itching to have a fight with me.
Well the way I feel, I'm ready. I have cried so much in the last month I don't think I have any tears left. I'm sure Kurt is just waiting for the cops to forget what happened so he can drag me somewhere and beat the shit out of me. Like that's going to happen but I'm a little worried. I mean, I don't want to get into a fight, not just yet, not while I'm pregnant.
I have lost a lot of energy. I seem to always be drained. I eat like crazy when I'm at home. I even wake at up at night to stuff my face in the dark so no-one will see me. I eat as much as I can when no one is around. I hate how they just stare at me; like I'm a freak or something. The sad thing is, out all of this, I can't fly. I have no energy for it not even for the simplest of things. It's weird you know. You don't realise how much you love something until it's taken away from you.
I miss the freedom of flight, the feeling of the air brushing against my face, to fly freely among the clouds and to be far away from everyone. Now that I'm back at home I just take the jeep out when I want to go somewhere. Vegeta bought me it when I passed my license. With the bad roads around our place, out in the forest, the jeep is perfect. I have been using it more and more lately. I go for long drives to get away from things. Park in some remote spot that overlooks the valley below and watch the violet glow of the sunset as it sinks into the horizon while sitting on the bonnet; it's breathtaking. It's just beautiful. It would be perfect if Vegeta was here with me… Sigh. Oh well can't harp on it. Not like its going to happen what with the way things are with us.
I think about a lot of things out there; about the pregnancy, school. Hehehe… how weird. You know I have a small bubble of a tummy now. Well not a bubble as such but hey you know what I mean. I'm close to being in my fifth month and clothes are too tight around the waist. Not that I look fat or anything – well I hope not. Who cares, right? I mean Bulma thinks it kind of sweet. She thinks I look cute. Hehehe... Cute WOW that's what I want to hear Hehehe Not!
And dad well I don't really know what dad thinks. I think he's afraid or something. I mean it's the first time right for something like this to happen; and to his son… to have me be pregnant.
Geez! I mean I don't know of another other guy being plugged up like this. Hehehe... nor do I think they would want to be. But hey I never knew this could happen. I was kept in the dark about this whole mess! Geez I wish I was told about this properly. Like actually sat down and really being told. If I knew any of this I would have got Vegeta to play safe sex. But hey how in the hell was I suppose to know, I'm a guy right and they don't fall pregnant right, RIGHT?
Well obviously I was wrong, and my father's grand Saiyan heritage has proven itself again to surprise us – surprise me. Well I'm not that hurt over it just Fucking SCARED! I'm going crazy here. What happens now? I mean w-where does… where does… Shit! You know w-where does it… it come out! HELL! This is freaky and I'm too embarrassed to ask anyone and I WON'T ask Vegeta. No I refuse to ask him! I'll teach him …he thinks he can play this game and get me grovelling at his feet. Well it won't work! I won't let it! No sex? Well let's see how long he lasts. It won't be long I'm sure he's caving in already, I'm sure of it.
I caught him perving at my sweet bubble ass as he so nicely used to call it. Yeah he was checking it out again when I came out of the shower this morning. Oh yeah, I'm sleeping back in our room … heaven forbid I kick him out. I'm not sleeping on the couch or the spare room. No sire.
Hehehe... it was funny though watching him from the corner of my eyes as I paraded around in nothing but my birthday suit. He was drooling and GOOD! I'll teach him! Huh but I can't say much I was doing the same when he had finished his shower …Arrrrrrgh I'm not going to cave in! He started this. It's his fault. If only he listened to me. I wanted to say sorry the first night.
Why does he have to do this? I need him. Whoa, pull up now I don't need him! Gohan listen you don't need him. No I don't Oh yes I do… BUGGER this. I'm caving faster than a speeding bullet, which is actually really slow when I look at it. But hey that's not the point. The point is … hell I lost myself there. I just regret a lot of stuff and I want Vegeta back. But I'm not going back on my hands and knees... Hehehe... maybe that would get his attention. WOOOW I think I've being around him to long I thinking like him now. Well it not going to work I'm not going to be the first to cave in here.
I'll teach him. Talking about teaching, I had best get off to school before I'm late again. Oh the joy of school… Not! Well at least I get to see my friends and they always make up for what's going on at home with mister grump. Hell I might even have a great time. That'll show him that I don't need this. I have a party to go to tonight and I'll be surrounded by my friends. Yeah so who needs him?
"So how's it going?" Sharpener asked as I walked up to my locker with my bag slipping off my shoulder onto the floor as I got ready to open my locker.
"Fine. Vegeta was being his usual ass self today."
"Hey man quit already. You have only just got here and you're already bitching." Sharpener growled.
"Umm… sorry Sharpener." I bit my bottom lip. I have being doing that a lot lately, bitching about Vegeta.
Sharpener's smile was quick to return. "Hey it's cool. So are you ready for Videl's party? It's supposed to be a blast. Plenty of HOT chicks!"
I should have guessed his mind is always working on ways of getting laid. "Hehehe…like I'm interested."
"Well hey you don't know maybe you get lucky." He nudged me in the shoulder as I was getting a book out. I shook my head and smile.
"Vegeta would kill me…" Sigh, "Though I'm already dead in his eyes."
"Geez… stop it already will you. Come on let's go and find the girls."
"Sorry." I did it again. Mental note hits head hard. Just forget him.
Sharpener slapped a friendly hand on my shoulders as I closed my locker. "Forget it come on."
"Hey guys over here." We both looked up to see Eraser and Videl heading our way and waving at us in the crowded hallway.
"Hey Gohan is that a new shirt you're wearing. It looks really hot on you." Eraser beamed as she ran her slender hands over the material… Geez this girl loves clothes.
"Thanks I guess." I said with less enthusiasm.
"Geez, it's like that huh? Oh well will have to try and change that. We have a party to go to tonight. It's going to be AWESOME!" Videl beamed excitedly slugging me in the shoulder. "Hey you guys are sleeping over right? I mean there's plenty of room."
"Try and stop me." Sharpener chuckled he was really looking forward tonight. I had to chuckle myself.
"Yeah I'm in." I said smiling with all their excitement. Videl and her parties, I swear this girl has one every week.
"Great well we had better get to class. I'll catch you guys later." She said as she turned to leave.
"K see ya." Sharpener nudged me again with that goofy lopsided grin of his. We headed off to our classes before the bell could catch us out again. The day was pretty much the same as any other day. Accept maybe Matt's buddies were getting more confident a little more intense with their mouthing off sending sick remarks as I would pass them in the halls. Just forget them they aren't worth it I reminded myself.
By the end of the day we were all looking forward to the bell. Sharpener and I meet up with Videl in the car park next to her red covetable. I jumped in the back with Eraser and Sharpener climbed in the front with Videl. She sped back towards her father's place and we were all laughing and joking about the upcoming party. Her father, Hercule, had gone away on a promotional tour you know what that means the party was free from adults.
Pulling up in to the long driveway we all piled out and entered the mansion with its plush and expensive furnishings. All show, I thought. It was nothing like Bulma's home with all her wealth. She never felt the need to glut like the Satan residence.
We all headed off to different rooms to clean up and get dressed for the coming party. I was more relaxed about the whole thing now that school was a million miles from my thoughts. We were all dressed up and looking HOT and sexy we mingled with other kids as they arrived all from our school.
Teenagers all looking hot and dressed ready to party all night and have great time free of adults. They were all spreading themselves all over the house most rooms where crowded. Kids on couches, floors up against furniture kissing – groping with spiked drinks in hand. There was always someone topping up the punch bowl and plenty of takers to drink it.
Girls would laugh and giggle, getting excited when a cute guy would wink or look their way to checking them out. That's when the whispers would start on both sides of the room the dares to go over and start up a conversation and chat the other up and score a cutie.
Down in the games room lounging back on a sofa Videl was on her new guys lap. Ryan was in the track team; one of the hot guys that all the girls drooled over. He was one of the few that had intelligence and a great body to match. They have been dating for two weeks and he is all Videl talks about. "Hey Sharpener, have you seen Eraser?"
"I think she went with Trevor to top up her drink." Sharpener said from his place on a large bean bag downing his fifth punch.
"Huh well that's the last time we will see her." She giggled as Ryan kissed her neck.
A frown washed over her face as she looked down at Sharpener. "Hey, where's Robin? I thought you where going great with her, you know an item."
"Yeah well …she had other plans." Sharpener grumbled and emptied his glass.
"Who's that?" Videl pointed to the far corner seeing two people lying back on sofa getting friendly.
Sharpener looked over his shoulder where Videl was pointing and in the dim lighting look to see what she talking about. "Who?…Ooooh that's some friends of Trish.
Videl looked on surprised but a devilish grin appeared. "She a bit frisky isn't she? She seems to like our Gohan."
"Umm do you think we should tell her?" Sharpener thought about it looking back at Gohan being drenched in hot wet kisses.
"No he looks like he's enjoying himself." She giggled. If anything it was the opposite and she couldn't help but laugh.
Gohan was lying down on the sofa lips locked with an unknown girl whose slender hands were working over time to unbutton his shirt and slipping it off his muscly shoulders. She was lost in the moment under the influence of alcohol. Long painted nails clawing over his smooth skin raking a trail of crimson. Gohan tried to pull her away without hurting her. The kiss broke and with gasp. " U…Ummm… Ooooh K ... Th…that…was- was sweet…I…I think."
"Oh honey you don't know the half of it." The next thing the girl hands disappeared and went for his pants with start Gohan eyes widen if they could get much bigger they would have popped out of his head as she dived back down into her death grip lip lock now she was tugging franticly at his zipper. With a loud gasp Gohan broke away from the kiss again.
"You're sooo HOT!" The brunette purred and her blue eyes twinkled with mischief as she swept her long hair back over her naked shoulders.
"Ummm …I …I-I'll get you a drink… Ka…Kami knows I need one!" He went to get up only to have her push him back down. She got up and straddled him and stared lustful at him. "Oh baby you got all I need."
"Oooh H…He…Heeeelp….dri drink!"
"Ok if that's what it will take for you to relax baby, I'll be right back sugar plum. Just stay put and keep those sexy lips warm for me I'll be right back." She climbed off him.
"Ummm …O…Ohhh K-k-k."
"I'll be right back babe." The brunette winked and blew him a kiss before licking her lips unsettling Gohan to no end.
"Ah ha." The only sound that managed to escape his voice box as she hurried away leaving Gohan shelled shocked.
"Hehehehe …Hey Gohan I think your sooo Hhhhot Sugar…. HAHAHA." Videl laughed seeing her friend looking scared out of his mind. Gohan tried to get to his feet feeling weak at the knees.
"Shut up Videl!... Geez where in the hell did she come from?" Gohan managed to say looking back over at the door where miss frisky had left. He was hoping to run away before she caught him again.
"I don't know but she sighted your ass for dessert…Sugar!" Videl chuckled so did Ryan. Sharpener couldn't help but laugh too. Both guys puckered up their lips making smacking sounds making Gohan glow redder. They all burst out laughing seen their friend changed a different colour and shaken.
"Grow up!" Gohan spat as he came over to be with the safety of his friends.
"Hey Gohan I really think she likes you man. You lucky bastard!" Sharpener laughed and winked up at him.
"Hey…I…I'm not …you know… I'm not interest in…"
"What girls." Videl chuckled with the others snickering as she went back to kept a straight face. "Come on Gohan she likes you."
"Sooo?" Gohan glared back at her as he did up his buttons in rush.
"Hey man if you don't want her could I have her?" Sharpener asked hopefully.
"Yeah, if she wants you." Gohan said without looking down at him having trouble doing up his buttons. His fingers where shaken so much.
"YOU'RE THE GREATEST, MAN." Sharpener bounced out of the bean bag like no other could and went to go find her. Sharpener didn't wasting time he ran back up the stairs.
"No he's a DORK Gohan. She likes you – you could have a great time tonight if you just sit back, loosen up and enjoy yourself for a change." Videl said getting annoyed.
"Hey dude she's was so so HOT. Go for it." Ryan put his tuppence in getting an elbow from Videl and a glare for his troubles.
"Maybe but…" Gohan looked up though he eyes were saying the opposite.
"Yeah that's it dash all my hopes. Heaven forbid should you enjoy yourself!" Videl threw her hands up in the air and stood up in frustration.
"Hey, Videl it's not that. I'm thankful for being here." Gohan went to apologise. He knew his friends were worried about him and the party tonight was to get him to loosen up. It's just not what he wanted. He didn't want to screw up again and make things worse than they already were at home.
"Yeah- yeah whatever." Videl waved him off. She was losing her patience with him and was worried. She was sure her party would work.
"Hey baby, I need to top up my drink do want any?" Ryan asked as he got up from the sofa.
"Yeah sure." Videl said while glaring at her friend.
"Gohan we need to talk. You really need to relax your spoiling my party! I thought you would enjoy yourself you know." Videl grabbed his wrist and pulled him over into quiet corner; which was near impossible.
"Look I'm sorry I try…" Gohan went to apologise.
"Promise ME!" She spat glaring at him making him look away.
"I promise I'll try and… loosen up." He looked back at her with her fixed stare.
"Good! Glad to hear it!" She gave him one final look before grabbing his arm again and dragging the defeated Saiyan back to the life of the party. She dragged him back upstairs.
"What are you still doing here Vegeta?" Bulma snapped when he passed her on his way to the fridge.
"Do I have to have reason woman!" He opened up the fridge not looking back at her as he grabbed the milk and proceeded to open it and drink from the bottle with fridge door open.
"I hate it when you do that. Get a glass and close the door already! You do this on purpose I bet!" Vegeta closed the fridge door not to friendly and went to get a glass giving her glare as he did.