And Her Hair All Done Up In Curls

Chapter 5
Fuss and Tire

Rating G: so far

Summery: Kathryn is being plagued by a series of nightmares. What could they be about?

Disclaimer: All is owned by paramount, unless never mentioned on the show. I have just decided that I could take the voyager crew (Kathryn and Chakotay) where paramount would never have. I am not making any money, just doing it 'cuse I wanna.

Kathryn strolled down the hall toward sickbay, she was excited but also dreaded what was coming. It was now real; Sidra was hers. It had been just over a week since she had finally made the decision to actually keep her, however it didn't seem real until now. The doctor had called her that morning, and told her that Sidra was ready to be taken home.

Kathryn was ready to take her home, or at least she thought she was. Over the last week she had all of the necessities replicated, a crib, high chair, bottles, stuffed animals, bathing supplies, dippers, and clothes. She also had come home to several gifts, outside of her door. She soon found herself with every thing she needed, except a rocking chair. She was going to replicate one until, yesterday.

Kathryn had had a long shift, and hadn't slept well the night before, due to dreams. She had thought they were over but was mistaken. The whole situation surrounding Sidra had stirred up bittersweet memories, they hunted her in her sleep. That night she just wanted to take a long hot bath, and then try to get some sleep. when she rounded the corner in the corridor that led to her quarters, a shadow disappeared behind her door. She ran to see who had violated her home. She quickly and silently keyed open the door and slipped in, who ever it was, was in her sleeping area. She reached for her phaser and set it for stun, not knowing who was in there. She slowly moved her way across her living room, accidentally bumping into her coffee table. She then heard the sound of a transport, quickly, she ran into her sleeping area in hopes of catching a glimpse of the intruder. Instead of finding anyone, she saw a rocking chair in the corner. Her mouth dropped open, she crept over to it and kneeled down. She ran her hand across the seat and bars whoever had left it had hand carved it. As she examined the chair, she felt a few bumps on the back of the top; looking closely Kathryn discovered words carved into it. The chair read…

Many days will pass,

And nights will zoom.

And before you know,

Only memories will loom.

A Child must grow,

And a mother must let go.

But in this chair

Love is all they'll ever know

Kathryn's eyes filled with tears, the poem was beautiful, and so true. She knew right away who gave this gift. It had the same look is her bathtub that Chakotay had carved for her, on New Earth. She could feel the love that flowed through the wood, just like then.

Kathryn finally rounded the final corner to sickbay and brought herself back to the present. She was ready materially, to take Sidra home, but now her stomach was in knots. She cautiously crossed the threshold of sickbay, now she could not go back.

The doctor smiled when he saw Kathryn. "Good, I'm glade you're here, she is all fed changed and ready to go Captain." Came the doctors overly excited announcement.

"Thank you doctor," Kathryn smiled as warmly as she could. She had been excited, but now she just wanted to run away, but she knew she couldn't. She had agreed to take her, for what ever reason, she did not know. Kathryn gently lifted her daughter into her arms. Sidra cooed softly at being held by her mother. "You ready to go home" she whispered to Sidra.

"Captain now I must tell you a little bit about basic care…"

Kathryn raised her had and stopped the doctor. "Please Doctor I've done this before I know a lot more about infant care then most people think, now I'm going to take Sidra home and try to get some sleep while she is still sleepy." Kathryn made a hurried retreat, leaving the doctor baffled by her comment.

In her quarters Kathryn placed Sidra down on the soft blanket that lay in her new crib. She was already asleep and Kathryn planed to keep it that way. She quietly made her way across her living room toward her sleeping area. She'd had B'Elanna set up a small cubical like room for Sidra so that as she grew she would have her on room. It was in the far corner of her living room and cut the size down by about one third. Kathryn didn't mind she knew that it would be easer to clean as Sidra grew. Kathryn passed her bed then entered her bathroom; she pulled off her uniform and drew a bath. She gently stepped into the warm water smiling at the sensation and lowered herself into it and closed her eyes relaxing. She figured that it might be the last time she would be able to relax in the tub for a long time. Taking her time, Kathryn washed herself, fragrances of roses and other wild flowers wafted through the air. When the water grew cool Kathryn reluctantly pulled herself from the tub, she wrapped a towel around her form then her hair. She then entered her sleeping area and donned her satin nightgown. She finished drying her hair and checked on Sidra before sliding between her sheets. She was exhausted and fell asleep quickly.

… A young auburn haired girl of eighteen sat in a huge tree, studying intensely. She had a mammoth exam in three days, which would determine if she would be accepted into Star Fleet Academy. She hummed softly as she clicked the keys of the padd she held. When she finished reading it contents she rested her head on the tree she sat in. A gentle breeze blew through the air and tousled her long hair. Closing her eyes, she unwound. She loved coming to this tree. It was her refuge, a place to go and get away, from every thing, a place where she was free to think and study. A sound broke her trance. She looked around but could only see cornfields, nothing that could have made any noise. The sound became more prominent it was crying. She quickly claimed down her tree in search of who was crying. As her feet hit the ground it became more defined, she was able to determine that it was the sound of a baby. She walked around the base of the tree the crying became louder…

Kathryn opened her eyes, realizing that the crying wasn't just in her mind but coming from the other room. "Computer time?" she inquired.

"The time is 0200 hours," the stale voice replied. Kathryn smirked, 'two o'clock feedings' she thought. She quickly got out of bed and crossed the spans of her quarters. She picked up Sidra and talked to her softly as she walked to the replicator. She ordered a bottle, and made her way to the rocking chair. As she rocked and fed Sidra she sung softly, Kathryn sung the song that her mother use-to sing to her. After Kathryn fed, burped, and changed her Sidra drifted back to sleep. Kathryn returned her to her crib and tried to go back to sleep only to toss and turn. When her alarm sounded Kathryn dragged herself out of bed. She got dressed, and then retrieved Sidra from her crib. She dressed her in a purple sweater and matching hat. She replicated several extra bottles, and packed a small dipper bag. Before heading to the bridge, Kathryn dropped Sidra off with Ensign Wildman, who had agreed to look after her while she was on duty, at least until they came up with a better plan.

When she arrived on the bridge she all but fell into her seat. She was exhausted from being up at two that morning. Her actions didn't go unnoticed. Chakotay who had already been seated leaned over to her. "Up all night with the baby?" he asked.

Kathryn sighed, "she woke up at two, and then I couldn't go back to sleep. I mean I've heard of two o'clock feedings, but she takes that literally." Kathryn joked as best she could.

Smiling Chakotay said "Don't worry it will get better."

"I know," Kathryn gave a halfhearted smile. She then leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes for a brief moment.

…"Momma, a frantic voice called out, echoing through the large house. "Momma come here, I need you."

"Kathryn there's no need to shout now what is it that…" A tall brunette woman said coming through a large door that led to the kitchen. Her words cut short. "Where on earth did you…"

"I don't know where she came from, I was studying for the entrance exam when I heard her crying, She's cold and hungry Momma."

"Ok I'll call Starfleet head quarters and you go and replicate a bottle, and wrap her in a blanket." Gretchen Janeway instructed. Kathryn nodded and made her way across the oversized living room and through the door her mother had just passed through…

Kathryn startled awake. Chakotay had his hand on her arm. "Kathryn, hey you ok?"

She quickly looked around and blushed realizing that she had fallen asleep.

"I'm fine Chakotay, I must be more tired then I thought," she looked down still embarrassed.

"A Captain?" Tom questioned

"Yes tom?" Kathryn glanced sideways at him.

"Perhaps you should, take a nap? It might help, I remember when my cousin was a baby nobody got any sleep in that house."

"Thank you tom but I can't be going and taking a "nap" while I'm on duty. I think that I'll jus replicate some coffee. I haven't had any yet today."

Tom couldn't help but smirk. "Well that explains a lot." He retorted.

Kathryn only shot him a look, to tired to do much more. The rest of the crew grinned at the fact that Tom was able to get a way with the protocol breach. Kathryn then made her way to the replicator and ordered a super espresso; she was going to need it. Kathryn made her way back to her seat. Letting the coffee warm her hands. She slowly sipped it down and soon found that she started to feel more awake. The rest of the shift went smoothly, they had discover another planet that looked promising, and she had Tom set a curse toward it. After the shift was over she headed to Samantha's quarters. She picked up Sidra only to find out that she was in a fussy mood much to Kathryn's dismay. She decided that maybe a trip to the holodeck might help to calm her down she picked a beach scenario. After a half hour of walking up and down the beach Sidra didn't calm down. Kathryn was starting to get hungry and left the holodeck. As much as she wanted to just replicate a meal in her quarters she couldn't. She had used all but a few of her ration's replicating things for Sidra. She headed toward the mess hall, stroking and patting her fussy child.

When she entered the mess hall, it was very busy. It seemed that everyone was eating in there. Kathryn grinned a little; she realized by how many things she'd received, that everyone was low on rations as well. There were no empty seats, but Kathryn discovered, Chakotay, Harry, B'Elanna, and Tom sitting at a table in the back. B'Elanna waved for her to join them. Kathryn navigated her way through the room, Sidra fussing the whole time. When she arrived at the table she was greeted by smiling face. B'Elanna reached her arms out and hinted for Kathryn to had the infant over to her. Kathryn quickly and graciously accepted the offer and handed her to B'Elanna. Kathryn then slumped into her chair. Chakotay excused himself the returned minutes later with a tray for Kathryn. She smiled and accepted it. She was starving and was to tired to question what she was eating. Kathryn was happy to see that B'Elanna had some how managed to get her baby to fall asleep. She finished her meal and decided to heed back to her quarters for sleep. It was still early and she figured it was the best time to try. B'Elanna see how tired the captain was offered to walk her and the baby back to Kathryn's quarters. Kathryn agreed thankful that she wasn't going to have to risk waking Sidra up by playing pass the baby.

In Kathryn's quarters B'Elanna laid Sidra in her crib. She patted Kathryn on the shoulder reassuringly then excused herself, so that Kathryn could get some sleep, while the baby was sleeping. After B'Elanna left Kathryn fell into her bed, to tired to even worry about removing her uniform. That night no dreams came.