And Her Hair All Done Up In Curls

Chapter 6
The Truth Revealed

Rating G: so far

Summery: Kathryn is being plagued by a series of nightmares. What could they be about?

Disclaimer: All is owned by paramount, unless never mentioned one the show. I have just decided that I could take the voyager crew (Kathryn and Chakotay) where paramount would never have. I am not making any money, just doing it 'cuse I wanna.

"Hush little baby don't say a word, Momma's goanna bye you a mocking bird. And if that Mocking bird don't sing Mommas goanna bye you a…"

The sound drifted through her memory and hung like a phantom. Kathryn jolted up in bed, the memories from her dream colliding with her now conscious mind. She slowly climbed out of her bed still shaking from her dream. It had happened so long ago, it seemed, yet she was still plagued with the memories and the dreams, the dreams that would never leave her. It had been almost three years since she had, had the last one, or at least it had been until four weeks ago. Kathryn glanced around her empty quarters, she sighed, ran her hands over her face then slowly walked into her bathroom. "Computer time?"

"The time is 0300 hours," came the computers stale undeviating voice. Kathryn took a good long look at her-self in the mirror, "Well Kathryn," she told her reflection, "Today is going to be a long day."

Kathryn drew herself a hot bath, thankful for some time alone. Chakotay had offered to take Sidra, at the party the night before. B'Elanna decided to through a small get together, over at her and tom's place. It was a good distraction, but she was exhausted. Chakotay took notice and asked to take the baby. B'Elanna thought that it was a wonderful idea and so did Tom. She agreed. When the party ended Chakotay walked her back and got the few necessities that Sidra would need, and kissed her goodnight. Kathryn tried to fall asleep but tossed and turned until twelve thirty. And now she was awake. She sighed as the warm water enveloped her body. After her bath Kathryn tired to go back to bed, hoping that the warm water would work, but it didn't.

At about 600 hours, she got up and made herself breakfast, but only touched the coffee. She then proceeded to get dressed. She slipped her uniform on, it was very loose, and she realized she had grabbed her old one. She removed it and then proceeded to grab the one she had replicated three days earlier. After putting on her make up, she went for a walk around the ship before heading to the bridge. She was very tired.

When she arrived on the bridge, Tom made a witty remark abut her being a little late, she snapped at him. She asked Chakotay how Sidra was, and then retired to her ready room. Just wanting to be left alone.

Chakotay made a note on how Kathryn looked, He was more then happy to take Sidra last night. He smiled; Sidra was a very scheduled infant. She had woken up exactly at the time Kathryn had said she would. But he was concerned, he had dropped Kathryn off early, but she still appeared not to have gotten much sleep. Chakotay shrugged the feeling off and when about his business. How ever he planed on stopping by her ready room, to check up on her.

A few hours later Kathryn sat at her desk reading a data padd, trying to concentrate but unable to. For the last four weeks she'd been hunted by memories, and dreams, she also was trying to parent a very young infant, in witch had triggered the dreams. Sighing she lifted a stemming cup of espresso to her lips, taking in the warm liquid, trying to figure out what she'd do if there were no coffee. As she sipped from her lifeline her eyes fell upon the half eaten cheese sandwich she had replicated that morning. Sighing again she placed her cup down next to the padd and lifted the plate. She crossed the room and deposited it in the replicatetor. She the sat back down at her desk but instead of picking the padd up, she opened the upper left hand drawer of her desk and lifted a small photograph out. A solitary tear ran down the length of her cheek, as she traced the image of a young girls face. The young girl's flame hair, and ice eyes starred back at her, the child's face bright and jovial.

The chime sounded causing Kathryn to jump, setting the photo on the desk quickly, she called "come in" her voice very shaky. She clumsily picked the padd up. A form appeared in the doorway, before taking a few steps in so the door could close. Kathryn looked up, "Yes, Chakotay?" Her voice betrayed her. Chakotay took notice but did not confront her, as of late it was normal to see Kathryn looking like she'd been crying. Besides he'd asked her about it on many occasions, but she always seemed to change the subject.

"I just wanted to bring the tactical report by." As he reached out his hand to give her the padd his eyes fell upon the photograph. When Kathryn looked up and reached her hand out to take the padd, she noticed that his were not looking in her direction, she fallowed his gaze down to the lonely photograph resting on her desk. On instinct she snatched it up from view, clinching it protectively, as if she were scared he would destroy it. Being taken a back by her reaction, Chakotay cautiously asked, "Who is she Kathryn,"

Being stunned by his voice she formulated an answer not thinking, "She's just a friend." she was still clutching the photograph closely to her chest.

Not being fooled Chakotay said, "Kathryn you're lying to me, she isn't just a friend, she's more then that, who is she."

Getting considerably madder she retorted, "Chakotay she's no one of concern to you"

"Kathryn what's wrong, you haven't been yourself for the last four weeks, and every time I ask you about something you change the subject, I won't let you do that not this time."

"I'm sorry commander but I have a lot of work to do, so if you don't mind I'm going to get back to it." She then shifted her eyes back to the padd, and Chakotay realizing what she was doing snatched it from her. "How dare you," she hissed, glaring at him fiercely.

"You're not going to change the subject again, I asked you a question, and you ignored it, just like you always do. I'm frankly getting tired of it."

Kathryn glared even more fiercely at his words, she stood up and walked over to him, her body ridged. She looked directly into his eyes, her eyes burning, "leave" her voice was menacing. She then snatched the padd back, and walked over to her couch and sat down, looking out at the stars. After a few moments of staring out into space, and not hearing the sound of the door she looked back toward her desk, where Chakotay was still standing. "I said Leave."

"No, Kathryn, I'm going to stay right hear until you answer my question."

Kathryn took a good long look at him, determining that he wasn't going to leave she said, "Fine if you won't leave then I will," she stood and headed to the door.

"Computer, engage quarantine lock, Beta G 4."

"Quarantine lock engaged," Came the computers still voice.

Kathryn stopped and pivoted slowly around to face Chakotay, lighting flashed in her eyes. 'How dare he' she thought, 'this is my ready room and he has no right to…'

Her thoughts were interrupted when Chakotay spoke. "Kathryn nether one of us is leaving until you tell me who she is and what has been bothering you."

She was now beyond pissed, "Fine," she scaled "then we will be in her a good long time, and when we finally get out of here you will have a good long time to think about how stupid this move was, in the brig." She walked over to her couch her body stiff and ridged. She sat her self slowly down, and looked out of the view port. Refusing to look at him. She heard him sit down in the chair in front of her desk. She would not give in; he had no business asking her questions like that, or for holding her captive. She would Call Tuvok in but she knew that that in its self would open an entire new can of worms, and she most defiantly did not want that to happen.

Chakotay watched her from his seat in front of her desk. She was pissed and he knew it. But he was concerned. He had noticed her loose weight, he was guessing any where from five to fifteen pounds. He also knew that she wasn't sleeping well, due to the baby, but he took Sidra last night, and she still came to the bridge looking just as exhausted. Chakotay sighed, she was keeping something from him and he did not like that idea. And to make him even more worried about her, she was sad all the time. Chakotay sighed once more and closed his eyes, to meditate. Knowing that it would take a good long time to wear Kathryn down.

After about an hour Kathryn looked back in the direction of Chakotay, he still had his eyes closed, She concentrated on him. He was serious; she wasn't going to be getting out of here with out talking to him. Her brow was set as she glared at him, 'how could he just sit there,' she thought. It was annoying her, he was so calm abut it, and that made her even madder. She bent on not letting him win; she turned her head back toward the view port, resting her chin on her arms. She healed her stance, like a wounded puppy.

Chakotay heard her rustling; he decided to bait her a little more by keeping his eyes closed. He knew that she would give into him in due time. She was just angry, and hurt. He knew that if she talked about it she'd feel better, and he could help her move past what was bothering her. After a few after the rustling stopped he opened his eyes to look at her. He watched as her back lifted up then down, as she sighed. He smiled to himself. 'It's working' he thought as he shut his eyes once more.

Another hour past, and Kathryn had calmed down and begin to think. 'This is so stupid' she thought to herself. She looked back toward Chakotay, 'He's still meditating' She drew her legs in close to her, wrapping her arms around them and setting her chin in to the valley it created. Her eyes shifted up to look at him. "Her name's Edana" Kathryn's voice was timid and soft.

Chakotay's eyes fluttered open, slightly shocked; he hadn't expected her to talk. Let alone sound the way she did. His heart sank, when his eyes fixated on her. She looked very tiny, meek and breakable, so unlike what he was use to seeing, he could see tears building in her eyes. He stood and slowly crossed the space between them; he sat down on the couch next to her, and pulled her into his lap. She didn't resist at all, instead she wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on is shoulder. At once the tears spilled over. Chakotay rocked her back and forth gently, stroking her back, and whispering comforting words to her. After some time, her tears stopped. She continued to let him hold her, feeling safe for the first time in years. After a few minuets, Chakotay spoke, "do you want to talk Kathryn." His voice was a whisper, and as he spoke he gently stroked her hair.

He felt her nod then push back a little. He relinquished his hold, and she slid down next to him. She looked down at her hands then into his face. She spoke calmly, her voice horse. "I lied, she is more then a friend, much more." Chakotay nodded, and she continued. "She's my daughter"

Chakotay was somewhat shocked; he didn't know that she had ever been pregnant. "I didn't know you had ever had a child"

Kathryn took a deep breath and continued, "She isn't my biological daughter. I adopted her when I was 18 just before starting at the academy."

"You, must lover her very much, and miss her a grate deal." Chakotay smiled slightly to reassure her, " I'd love to meat her." At his words Kathryn felt the tears threaten to come back. She closed her eyes tightly to push them away. Chakotay became worried. "Kathryn?"

She took a deep breath, "you can't meet her," the tears begin to stream down her cheeks, "She.. died," she had to stop briefly and try to regain her composure. "She died when she was seven." She managed to say between sobs. Chakotay pulled her in close once more.

"O Kathryn, I'm so sorry" He stroked her back again, trying to consolidate her, again. After another crying session, she was able to compose herself enough to tell Chakotay, the story of her little girl…